Mike Winters
@mike_wintrs
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Personal finance reporter. News links, some jokes & that’s about it! From Edmonton, in NYC.
Joined March 2009
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If you file taxes in these 17 states, you could be getting an inflation-relief check from the government—here's who qualifies
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Powerball jackpot hits $1 billion, its second-highest total ever—here are the 8 states where you'd win the most
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You have until next week to claim your relief check in some states—how to get your money before the deadline
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Wayne Grotski quit hockey the same year Wayne Gretzky arrived in Edmonton.
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@historylvrsclub
This has been DEBUNKED, History Lovers Club. You are giant factory of lies. 🏭
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@nypost
“The results were stiffening: The jocks’ erections lasted longer and were reportedly stronger after the veggie burrito.”
Earning your pay check there...
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Okay, for real I’m not making this up... I went running with my phone unlocked & my butt accidentally ordered $50 worth of A&W
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If “blocked by...” is the first thing in your Twitter bio, go outside & feel the sun on your face for a while.
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There’s an entire section at this Islanders cheering loudly only for the ref
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I have two options:
- say that I've been on a break from social media because it's toxic
- admit that I recently dropped my phone in the toilet
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Subway is putting up with another BS lawsuit for not having real tuna in their subs. Reposting this comic in solidarity.
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This is the tackiest team on the planet. A banner to celebrate how much product they’ve sold? Get lost.
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Should Twitter make salary mandatory in your bio? Might spice things up!
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@BrettThousand
We need more middle-aged bald men french-kissing the pin out of futuristic grenades...
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“Guy named Gretzky is not part of the Old Boys Club that includes Gretzky; he’s more like Chiarelli, who the team just fired.”
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The cat just barfed directly into a floor power outlet & cut all power to our apartment.
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Signed up for some art classes next year & this is essentially my end goal.
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Why is the Grandpa Burger the one with 3 patties at A&W? Have they never seen an old man eat before? [This is what social media is for, right?]
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Imagine if we slept as much as cats? Bridges wouldn’t be built, literacy would plummet & there’d be food shortages
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I'm going bald.
Dermatologist: "Yeah."
My skin is dry.
Dermatologist: "Take colder showers?"
I'm extremely allergic to mosquito bites.
Dermatologist: "Not much I can do about that, sorry"
I feel like this profession could use a breakthrough or two?
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I’m continually amazed by people who reply to McScoop as if he’s not a fictional cartoon dog joke account...
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Looking back, I should have drawn more Torontoman cartoons...
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From 2012! Realizing how many layers of Oilers suckiness there's been... it's an actual saga. Pretty damn close on the Vegas uniforms, btw.
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Just thinking about Edmonton things
#yeg
- Eileen Bell
- Yoga Fits In w Gerda Krebbs
- 426-5050 call the Lydo (“freeee delivery”)🎵
- Nicky Fordinski
- Swap Shop
- The world’s worst pasta at Chianti’s
- The Legend of the Chevy Farm
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The talent pool within Canadian political parties is simply too thin for "funny" social media posts.
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I would totally high-five a strawberry if I had just set a world record in hurdles...
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The most perfect, mind-cleaving ending to game 7 would be the Oilers going down 3-0 only to come back & win it in OT. That would kill me, however.
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*muffled intercom announcement*
[plumes of green gas fill the subway station]
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This is a recreation of my first political cartoon, drawn when I was 8.
My mother said it was confusing.
- I didn’t know how to draw Prime Minister Mulroney’s face so I put a paint bucket on his head
- the paint buckets don’t make sense
- I didn’t know what Meech Lake was
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The tendrils of Leafs mythology are thick like Kudzu vines. Only an Albertan can slash them.
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“Personal benefit.” In Canada even the satirists are establishment gatekeepers
Politician who secretly recorded colleague for personal benefit is the good guy, report media
#cdnpoli
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This thing I did popped up as a "memory" on Facebook. A surprisingly hardy, evergreen Oilers sentiment since 2007.
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I just don’t get how this stuff was missed for so long. Yearbook photos were just sitting there during the Virginia governor controversy, and imagine the impact this would have had in 2015. Maybe write fewer stories about socks?
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McDavid is basically Weekend at Bernie’sing the Oilers roster.
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Here's how you make
@22_Minutes
funny: *actually make fun of Canada.* It's a smug and parochial country, just waiting to be dunked on.
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These Don Cherry columns are like watching someone play acoustic guitar at a party
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When do we find out that Draisaitl was being held together with chicken wire
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SpikeVax
(2/4) The Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine will now be named Comirnaty, the Moderna vaccine will be named SpikeVax, and the AstraZeneca vaccine will be named Vaxzevria.
2K
1K
2K
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Want to feel old? Every cast member of CBC’s Degrassi High is dead now.
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Because my dad took me to Oilers games in the 1980s, I'm compelled to watch them tonight. It's very unpleasant!
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We know how this all ends long-term. McDavid will lose for a few more seasons then demand a trade. The blown opportunity will be a glittering crown jewel of Oilers’ ineptitude. The rot lies with ownership. Which can’t be fixed. Cheer for another sport.
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On a positive note, at least St. Patrick's Day has been ruined two years in a row.
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Last night I watched a standup outdoors completely bomb & the only sound was literally crickets
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A pleasant night for Panthers fans, many of them almost went to Fuddruckers or a movie at AMC instead but this turned out well
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2019 Lucic might be the worst Oiler I’ve ever seen, and we’re talking about the Oilers.
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Some dad in Airdrie: “These are my sons Grenade and Punisher II, and this is my daughter, Aria Sky Suites.”
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My phone died during my commute today, forcing me to look up for once & actually see the world. It was just a bunch of buildings.
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American A&W review: A&W Canada is the nation’s greatest accomplishment since Canadarm
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Cool idea!
‘I cry with happiness’: People are booking Airbnb rentals in Ukraine to funnel money to Ukrainians
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This is a drawing that depicts the moment my mom told me the cartoon was confusing...
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While in lockdown why not think about every embarrassing thing you’ve done in your life?
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Whattaya know, my brother saved my painting from art school.
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An uptick in “what are the contours of reality?” tweets lately
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