hazel 🧶
@mewmewhazel
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trans wolf girl. 35. loves writing/thinking about virtual reality, digital intimacies, and trans furry art
PNW
Joined December 2023
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Pinned Tweet
I want to advertise again my first solo authored pub and my first furry pub! Featured in Queer Studies in Media and Popular Culture, my goal was to focus on furs of color and how important furry is to our everyday life!
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happy pride! 🏳️⚧️
two years since starting hrt at 33. it's never too late!
Happy pride!!
Small lil transition timeline 🏳️⚧️
from 😔 to 😊
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nighttime doodle 4:
professor sona. i say this phrase the most when im teaching and i need to stop!
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coming soon:
my dissertation on queer and trans of color furry art and performance! this project has been in the works for over four years and I'm so excited for it to be out soon! a readable PDF will be out and I hope to make it as accessible as possible!
DM for questions!
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go to furry cons even if you're nervous, see friends who live far away or who you have lost touch with, start hrt if you are thinking about it, because time goes by so fast and you may regret waiting.
Furries over 30!!!! 🐾💬🩷
What advice would you give furs 30 and under?
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Furry never felt like a fandom. I'm not a fan of dogs, I'm literally a dog running around with a bunch of other critters. It's a mess.
Been shifting away from referring to it as ‘the fandom’ and more towards calling it ‘the scene’
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❗️Furry Dissertation Out❗️
i want to finally share the result of a three year study on queer and trans furries of color! fourteen furries were included in this study, so please be respectful of their participation. otherwise, i hope you all enjoy!
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I rewatched I Saw the TV Glow last night and it was even more powerful the second time around. Towards the end I started to recall important memories from my life related to the years leading up to my medical transition. 1/10
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I defended my dissertation today and I am proud to say I am now Dr. Hazel Ali Zaman! Thank you everyone!
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2020 vs 2024
what creating a fursona and spending way too much time in VRChat does to you.
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I know I'm like preaching to the choir with this, but I really wish I was a dog
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being a wolf girl is cool but my vocal stim is still "meow," should I be barking now or..?
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this is so real, so much of my life is a haze, and looking back to whoever that was feels like looking at a stranger. i wasted so much time, but at least im here now.
The most fucked yo part about transitioning at 29 is not the physical stuff, it’s that fact that I wasted nearly 30 years of my life in a haze
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went camping and all i got was deep and impactful memories that are going to last a lifetime
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thank you all for liking my art! ❤️ it was so nice to wake up to such a positive response to my work! thanks for supporting and I'll be posting more soon!!
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i really want another fursuit, i really want another fursuit, i really want another fursuit, i really want another fursuit, i really want another fursuit, i really want another fursuit, i really want another fursuit
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long shot, but any queer indie game devs/writers/artists in the PNW want to come to my queer writing class in the fall to talk about their creative process? feel free to dm for more info!
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taking a break from writing after completing my dissertation and getting back into drawing and creating furry comics! more soon!
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tips on reading: if you want to skip to just the results of this study, go to chapter seven.
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why does my hair look the best when i have no plans to see anyone?
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seattle critters, I'll be here next weekend! come say hey!
ARE Y'ALL READY???
Because we have our full lineup and flyer for ADVENTURE CRU X IMPACT! and it is STACKED!
On the bangers stage, NONSTOPPUP, APOLLO, BVDGRRL, SOGGY DOGGY, JIMNI CRICKET, AND CHOMPER!
On the chill stage, CISCO, FANTASYLUV, RECCA, AND KLSLWSK!
🎫 👇 🎫 👇🎫 👇
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ghostsghostsghostsghostsghosts!!!! this is why im fun at sleepovers
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It's been more than two years and I haven't had a panic attack at the level in which I experienced it before since. I knew hrt saved my life when my fear of death was no longer rooted in the possibility of regret, and I realized that again last night. 10/10
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It wasn't until I started to talk with, and become more involved with, trans people in my local community that I felt like there was a way out. In expressing my feelings to those around me, many encouraged me to investigate my fears and interrogate my current lifestyle. 7/10
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note: thank you to everyone involved in this process. all of you who call yourselves furries, you are all amazing and i love you. this study was for you!
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I was not really scared of the possible physical pain that comes with dying, it was instead this fear that I was going to be missing out on something, that I wasn't living life yet, that there was something missing and if I died it would be too soon and a shame. 3/10
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After pushing back against my body and my mind, both which feared change but were surprisingly comfortable with existing in this state of panic, I began to start my transition. Slowly over time my anxiety began to lift, and life began to feel not as urgent. 8/10
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need an excuse to keep writing this summer, anyone wanna collab on a furry article for a journal?
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I remember that before I medically transitioned, for about 5 years, I was having an increasing number of panic attacks over time. They would continually get worse and worse where I was going to the ER almost monthly. I realized that my panic was rooted in a fear of dying. 2/10
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After two years I realized that what I was missing out on was truly living as me, or living as me without having to create and become someone to hide behind. I now no longer fear the possibility of regret that comes with living as someone who I am not until it's too late. 9/10
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At the time I was not sure what it was that I was missing out on, maybe it was something career related, but I kept on living as [deadname] while continually managing a building panic that at any moment life could end and I would regret not living. 4/10
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@kimandgo
I cried right at the part where she draws that symbol of the back of his neck for some reason, but wow hit me hard
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oh hey it's me! 💖
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I would tell the doctors, nurses, and social workers at the hospital how sorry I was, how much of an inconvenience I must have been, how silly it was for me to be here again over and over with the same feelings that never lifted. 6/10
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The months leading up to me starting my medical transition the panic was getting worse and I was going to the ER almost weekly and calling friends terrified with feelings like I was going to die. At moments I almost wanted to die to end this horrible cycle. 5/10
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@oxalisnebula
whaaa these types of conversations with other trans girls actually helped me come to terms with my own trans feelings before I started hrt!
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i had to go to the bathroom and cry my eyes out in the middle of I Saw the TV Glow.
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if only they knew how much of my dissertation was written under the influence of nightcore
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do people still hang out in vrchat? im getting back into this, lets hang out!
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@TaciturnDeer
We need more mean, I was living in Atlanta for 10 years before returning to PDX and I still get looks here for just talking too loud at a cafe lol but whatever ;3
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now available on Google Scholar for free!
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Oversimplified, what do you do for a living?
I write about fun feelings
Oversimplified, what do you do for a living?
Funny books say smart things
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@joantoonz
loved this so much! would love to do an interview with you if you are interested, feel free to DM me!
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@TaciturnDeer
Oh my gosh!!! You are so sweet! You're going to rock it in your 30s! I just know you are! 💖
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