Mehul Parekh
@mevparekh
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Consultant Geriatrician. Special interests include having fun at work and out of offices. Ranitidine stan account. đłď¸âđ
London, England
Joined August 2010
Me using a patient blanket when Iâm cold on a night shift
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Isnât it so weird that if everyone in the NHS left work on time everyday, the whole thing would literally combust in weeks.
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People are literally dying in ambulances waiting to get into rammed hospitals, and all the public and media seem to care about is being able to see their GP face to face for literally no reason.
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I would not want a pay rise if I was guaranteed:. Parking.Office space .Coat hook.A canteen that is open when I need .Pay for overtime without question .A job plan for my training .Ability to book leave 6 months in advance .A universal HR.No pay fuck ups. Yeah I thought so.
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When I say âyouâre doing really wellâ to a patient during a procedure, Iâm actually talking to myself.
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First day and very grateful for the nurses changing the patient board with the consultant name to mine - I know itâs lame, but after 17 years of med school and training, it was a bit of a moment.
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All the acute stuff and illness on planes is heroic but sometimes, at 2am, when a patient has been admitted for three weeks and they are dying, and you call their next of kin and help them accept the dying processâŚthatâs pretty heroic too.
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Yesterday I told a patient I was a doctor and he responded with âno youâre notâ with such conviction that for a second I believed him.
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1. Palliative patient in side-room. 2. Stable patient with family who constantly complained, shouted, threatened, wrote vexatious and frivolous emails to CEO. Guess who got to visit?. We need to stop rewarding bad behaviour in the NHS.
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Very happy to announce Iâve been appointed as a substantive consultant geriatrician at @LNWH_NHS. What a journey!.
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If we documented fully what medicine keeps away from ITU, what ED keeps away from medicine, and what GPs keep away from the hospital, I think we would all super best friends.
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I share an office the size of a toilet, with 10 doctors and therapy team, with 4 PCs. My coat goes on boxes of forgotten NHS crap. 50% of seating is bins or filing cabinets . No windows or ventilation. NHS consultant pay is just the tip of how badly we accept being treated.
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Just got into bed post night shift, and have been in bed for 20 minutes and just realised I still had a mask on.
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Obsessed with the medical student who was volunteering to do COVID vaccines and also asked to be signed off for an IM injection when they found out they were vaccinating an F1.
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Me as an F1: Go to work. Go home. Learn to be a doctor. F1 today: set up teaching programme, do basic surgical skills, do membership exams, do poster presentation, get paper published, need to get audit done and complete the cycle, go on courses. Weâve ruined F1, for the F1s.
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I went to a leadership course today and was told (for the billionth time) that to be taken seriously as a leader I needed to tone down my sense of humour. I completely disagree and will continue to be super fun and get shit done. As I always have. đźđžđ
đ˝ââď¸đ¨đ˝ââď¸.
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âYou need more confidenceâ is actually terrible feedback.
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I told someone she was my favourite patient and her response was âoh piss offâ, which means she continues to be my favourite patient.
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Me learning to say âthatâs not my jobâ is how I survived (thrived?) 7 years of being a medical registrar and (mostly) evaded burnout, yeah I donât make tea or dip urines very often because I want to focus on getting my work done, so I can leave work on time and focus on life.
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NHS response to bullying:. âThatâs just what theyâre likeâ.
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You always think of burn out as an internal process, when actually youâve been doused in petrol and set on fire by people around you.
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Isnât it so weird that healthcare professionals write the equivalent of a short novel every day so we donât get sued.
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I have absolutely no doubt the Med reg was called to deal with this .
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This idea that the new F1s need to check their egos and be reminded to respect the nurses/pharm/mdt seems very outdated. 99% of new F1s are respectful, humble and mostly terrified.
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Our star patient who has recovered from an end of life covid situation, has told us her motivation to get better wasnât her loved ones, but the urge to clean her flat, because it was a bit of a state from what she could remember.
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Consultants who bought their properties 10 years ago: If you couldnât afford to buy your current property at its current valuation, at the current comparable salary youâd have now, you should probably be striking.
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Me: âSo I always need to test your memory when you come in with. â.Doris: â42 West streetâ. AMTS 20/10.
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Band 2s.Band 3s.Band 4s.
Who are your 3 most underrated bands?.
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I think being told to âmake sure you take a break!âand having to carry a bleep that goes off constantly is basically gaslighting.
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My favourite is when youâre a woman and people pronounce doctor as nurse.
What's your favourite medical term that is commonly mispronounced? Mine is definitely "aspirational pneumonia", like it has grand plans to become bilateral consolidation from its meager beginnings of a small patch of opacification in the right base.
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Ok so drop the best examples of doctors names that match their specialty youâve seen
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Today someone cut me off before I could introduce myself properly and asked what my grade was. 5 years ago my response would have been âoh Iâm so sorryâ. Today it was âwell if youâd let me finish talking youâd knowâ.
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My SHO today asked me if I âlovedâ my job. Love is an intense emotion. Iâve come to the conclusion that I am really good friends with my job. Itâs not my best friend. I like spending time with it. I also like spending time away from it which makes me appreciate it more.
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Eating loads of spicy food when you canât taste or smell with COVID is great until you realise itâs still spicy on the other end.
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Excellent analogy from my SHO today about another round of COVID winter and workforce fatigue:. âYou wouldnât ask the same soldiers to fight in WW1 and WW2â.
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This morning I told someone:. âListen I think you need to give me a bit of a break, Iâve just worked 13 hours and Iâm not exactly 100%â . Instead of:. âIâm so sorry, let me fix it right now, sorry for the inconvenienceâ. đĽ¸.
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I am an ethnic doctor. I have some followers on Twitter. Someone has complained about me on social media to the GMC. Would I get a personalised phone call from a senior GMC figure?. Yes, I am Phil Lee but Iâm also every other doctor at 13x risk of suicide during investigation.
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Left a bit early today and felt the usual guilt and then I realise the NHS probably owes me about 1000 hours of my life back not including the life Iâve lost working for it.
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So we know that this winter is going to be terrible, and frankly, the medical registrars will probably take the brunt of it in hospital, so this is an amalgamation of tips (some of which I've probably tweeted before):.
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James Bond movie titles but make it NHS:. No time to piss.No time to eat lunch .No time to get a pay rise.No time to breathe after a pandemic .No time to recruit more GPs.
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Pay for my GMC fees.Pay for my college fees.Pay for my MANDATORY exams and courses .Pay for my portfolio .Pay for my medical defence.Pay me a bit more respect for my life plans . I might pay less attention to your lack of pay rise after the last year.
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When you applied to medical school, you didnât sign up to the save the NHS. Youâre not a selfless hero because there is no place in the NHS to be happy and be a hero. Look after yourself and the people above, below and around you.
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Care package not started - ah i see.Nursing home not accepted - oh lol ok.No rehab beds - ok cool.Discharge letter not written - OH MY GOD WHY IS THE LETTER NOT WRITTEN URGENT EMAIL TO ALL JUNIOR DOCS MAKE SURE ALL DISCHARGE LETTERS ARE DONE IN ADVANCE WE WILL BE AUDITING THIS.
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So letâs break down this video shall we? . Relax pods on every floor!.NHS reality: an elitist doctors mess that has been closed to meet the needs of the hospital
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My F1 responded to my whatsapp with a âyas gurlâ in case you wanted to know what hierarchy looks like in 2020.
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Was struggling with a procedure today and told patient that I may need to get someone else to help, their response of âas long as it doesnât make you late to go homeâ, was the nicest thing a patient has ever said to me.
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Iâve had 8 different employers and rotated 22 times in my short career. This is why doctors need a mess, because you never have a home.
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Itâs the year 2030.A GP has been jailed for manslaughter because they did not remind their patient to breath 16-20 times a minute.
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Times when 1 is a great number:. A patients CRP. The time for lunch. The number of attempts to take blood. Times when 1 is not a great number:. The number of questions you got right in an exam . Seconds on a bomb diffuser . A patients bicarbonate . The NHS pay rise percentage.
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Make older people feel less lonely on ward round by talking about something else that is not their current illness.
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2005 mum: what is gay. 2021 mum: Mehul Iâm so sorry I forgot to wear my LGBTQI badge to dinner tonight.
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Locuming is interesting because the price of everything you buy goes from pounds to number of shifts.
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Could never picture 15 years ago the parents being ok, and now my mum and dad are giving me pictures 𼰠#nationalcomingoutday
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I qualified as a doctor in in 460BC. On one rota we worked 23 Helios sun days. Once we had 10 referrals with acute bile humour imbalance (one misdiagnosed as type 1 phlegm failure). Despite having to taste urine to diagnose diabetes, it is a demanding but highly rewarding career.
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Me having aged twenty years waiting for the hospital switchboard automatic message to finish
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Someone slips on a banana peel. Normal reaction: .oh gosh be careful. NHS response: .all bananas and yellow objects are now banned, there will be a root cause analysis on how a banana ended up here, duty of candour discussion with the banana tree, all pack lunches to be inspected.
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If it was called the 10 Downing Street NHS trust, every single person in there would been referred to the GMC/NMC/regulatory body.
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GMC/NMC/healthcare regulatory bodies to consider a year off fees or heavy discount as a thank you to health workers.
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A meteorite has destroyed all sentient life on the planet. HEE: please fill out this survey on how the destruction of the planet has affected your training.
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We all hate ironing. Can we just have a universal amnesty that we no longer have to iron our clothes and no one cares about crumpled clothes?.
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Look ok, medicine isnât like the absolutely best career ever, but sat here at dinner, listening to the next table talk about markets and refinancing and subsidies and margins and finances and shortfalls, at least itâs interesting.
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Apparently telling the SHO, a patient has a âcheeky bit of pneumsâ is not a useful handover.
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Wow, the neuro reg at the tertiary centre just ripped me a new one. âWell what do you think is going on?â - mate if I knew, I wouldnât be calling you at 6pm on a Saturday would I?.
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Night shifts are a fantastic opportunity to:. 1. Take lifts one floor down.2. Consume weird snacks in the vending machine (olives at 2am anyone?).3. Ponder some of the more bizarre hospital art .4. Eat cake in the office thatâs at least 23 hours old.5. Visit your favourite toilet.
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Watching the nurses do the hand hygiene audit is when you realise they could work for MI5.
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When youâre about to ask a patient if theyâve had chest pain as part of your systems review
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Top tip before you start in any hospital is that every NHS microwave is three times more powerful than you think.
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Hey people at GMC I fixed your email for you. What a lovely gesture!
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OSCE examiners Med students . đ¤ . Really hope itâs not neuro.
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Graduated med school in 2010.Took a year out, I was 100% med student in difficulty and couldn't face F1.F1 as (probably) a trainee in difficulty.Was un-appointable for CMT, got it 2nd round, in the hospital that made me. So when I say "if I can do it, you can", I really mean it.
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A junior doctor at work has created a literal step by step guide on how to request bloods/do TTOs/discharge letters for the consultants during the strikes, and it isâŚamazing.
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In the NHS, if 41% of people thought you couldnât do your job, youâd probably get a promotion.
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Why is there no NHS mandatory training about ccâing in emails.
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NHS staff this winter, when its dark when they arrive to work and dark when they leave work.
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Percussed a chest yesterday, the patient said âwhoâs there?â whilst I was doing it đ #knockknock.
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Nominated the ward clerk for an award and then needed her help to send the award paperwork in the internal post justifying why she needed the award.
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What I love about every code locked door in the NHS is the code is ALWAYS written somewhere on the actual door.
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If a consultant can give me âfeedbackâ on a decision I made at 4am half dead and sleep deprived and very busy, can I give them feedback on their feedback?.
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My advice to everyone on Planet NHS is if you start any message with âsorry to disturb you on your leave/zero/sickness/weddingâ, just delete it and donât send it.
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Being the fun and friendly med reg always comes with a lower threshold for people disrespecting you. Being fun doesnât make you an idiot. Being stern and stoic doesnât make you good at your job either.
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When is NHS England releasing a statement of when to turn off the radiators in hospitals.
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I went to Sainsburys and someone asked me if I was a shop attendant. I corrected them, and told them it was a bit odd considering I'm not wearing a badge or uniform, and clearly a member of the public. They called security to escort me out because I was disrespecting the staff?.
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Have you ever done a shift that makes you question your entire existence as a doctor and human being?.
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Overheard OSCE prep: .âOn general examination, the patient has a receding hairlineâ.
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Woah just got a mouthful of Storm Eunice, is this what CPAP feels like?!.
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I think lots of people will see this and say things like âwe need time off to rest for our patientsâ and âsenior docs on weekends donât necessarily affect outcomesâ etc. I just donât want to work more weekends
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