Mercy
@mercy_nkathah
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The first step is the hardest.
Nairobi, Kenya
Joined December 2018
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Pinned Tweet
My friend has been dating this guy, last weekend was her first sleep over and got dumped coz alinukisha washroom. Ata hajui alie ama acheke.
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Good news version : I'm broke
NIV : I don't have money.
King James Version*_: Henceforth, let it be known unto thee, that thy pocket of my garment consisteth of nothing but emptiness.
😂😂
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Legends in Kenya washed thier urniform at 6 a.m squeezed it with a towel and wore it to school at 7 a.m😁.
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Private school unalipa, sindio?
Private hospital unalipa, sindio?
Lakini private parts unataka ukule bure?🤔
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Nimekutana na chali hot sauce nikienda clinic,karibu nifiche mimba😁.
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Some men are in the wrong relationships sababu ya matako tu😂.
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Imagine becoming rich with a partner that you shared a poor life with? 😍😍😍
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its so sad that we are slowly loosing our culture,juzi nimepatana na mkale amenona😌.
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wale mlikua mnaanza composition na "i woke up in the morning when birds were singing melodiously..." bado huwa mnaskia wakiimba ama mliacha bangi😁.
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That embarrassing moment when he removes your bra and the 200 bob you hid for fare falls down😂.
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Imagine going home to a wife who welcomes you with hugs and kisses.Then prepares your water for shower,after you are done,you find the food is ready and then kanatamba😁.
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i cant wait kujenga nyumba ya ghorofa alafu nitenge karoom kamoja ka giza na niseme mtu asiingie huko ndo waanze kusema kuna nyoka inatema pesa😁...kumbe deep down naingia huko kuwatch cartoon nikikula njugu😁😁.
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My boyfriend visited me,sasa anataka nimpee fare ya kurudi juu hua ananipea nikienda kwake😢.
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Lakini relationships siku hizi ni stress,mnaishi na wasiwasi ni kama mnachemsha maziwa.😕
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Wiki fupi nono round Huwezi jua Friday ni wapi, Monday ni wapi, holiday ni wapi. Haina pesa. Haina pesaaa! Mulmulwasi😂
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pale high school,student wa history wakitoka class walikua wanatembea ni kama wametoka meeting na kinjeketile ngwale.smh!😁😁.
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Nimeona mnaigeria ako na 600 followers ameboostiwa tweet na wanaigeria wenzake imefika half a million. kenyans kazi yenu ni kungoja mtu atweet mtoe makosa,mchongoe,mseme ameiba. why cant you support your own.😩
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Nimeenda kununua nyanya naambiwa moja ni 30 bob, karibu nipatwe na stroke🙆. When did life get so expensive?
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I cant imagine that my kids will one day block me from viewing their status😢.
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That pain, ukienda clinic mguu ukiwa na mimba, ukikumbuka ulibebwa na V8 ukipelekwa lodging 😂😂.
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Do your parents know you walk like anaconda when you are about to suck a dick under the blankents ama haithuru😂?
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nimekaa hivi nikakumbuka kitenzi kishirikishi kipumbavu hakikamiliki kishenzi kinugu😁😁.
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Imgn enzi za kina Abraham,unauliza kadem "how old are you?" kanasema "am just 250" 😁.
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Is your boyfriend cute ama profile anaekanga picha za magari na movies😂?
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Father, the air you gave us for free, they are down here selling it in potato crisps bags😭.
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Pastor : "Na nikaona shetani mwenye pembe..."
Interpreter : "And I saw a horny devil..."
😁😁
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Nimesema sitaki food huyu hajanibembeleza.Smh! What happened to 'kula kidogo tu?'🙄.
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Ukiwa hustler,kwa family gatherings huezi ulizwa unakunywa soda gani. Unaletewa krest automatically😁.
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Churchill & Jalango will be co-hosting a show. Let me ask this question. Kwani where are Female Hosts? Hata the Morning shows huwa unaskia tu Maina and King'ang'i , Alex na Tricky, Giddy na Ghost etc. Where are Women bana?
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Imagine kuna mtu highschool sai ameibiwa sahani na kikombe.Kitu amebaki nayo ni kijiko na ni juu inashindanga kwa mfuko😂.
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Imagine dating soneone who thinks sex can only happen in bed😢.
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kenya police be like
'shut up and start talking,i am not your friend my friend'😂
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The commitment we had as kids ya kuamka 6AM ku watch cartoons on Saturdays was unbeaten!
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Na vile unaogopa babako, ona sasa anaingia saa moja asipigwe😂.
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Nikikupea namba yangu,kama hutatumia afadhali upee neiba yako.Action brother! actions!😂.
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Sex before marriage is a sin,but a baby is a blessing😂.Make me understand oh!
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i post jokes to entertain my crush,the rest of you sijui mnacheka nini?😂😂
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Nairobi rent got people staying in relationships which ended years ago.
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In my culture,when there is a ceremony next door we dont cook😁.
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How dare you watch porn when your name is in the bible? Peter,delete that video😂😂.
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There are 4 groups of people bullying her.
1.Guys who can't have her
2.ladies feeling threatened by her
3.All people who can't stand that she is doing better that them.
4.Depressed and frustrated people who take their life frustrations on anyone and everyone.
#IStandWithAzziad
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Nani amenotice wale wote walichukua huduma namba wako na homa😁.
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So this hawt dude was waving and I shamelessly waved back😢.Kumbe he was waving at his girlfriend,who unfortunatly, was standing by me.I cannot be embsrrassed this early,I have kept my hand up and a taxi stopped. Now am on my way to town and i dont even have money for the taxi😢.
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Life Cycle of a Kenyan youth
1. Owes Helb over Ksh 50,000
2. Supports Arsenal or Manchester United.
3. Single and Fighting depression.
4. Unemployed.
5. Has a public debt Ksh 130,000
6. Has personal loan with Fuliza, Mshwari, Tala, Okash etc
#CivicRenewalParty
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I pity men who argue with women!I mean,how do you argue with someone whose head has not touched water for a whole month?How?😁.
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Unaomba nguo na wig unaenda kuona your boyfriend mwenye ameomba room ata hajui remote ya tv huekwa wapi😁.
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After round 1 yengs anatoka nje kuvuta fegi na ulikua umeona wife material😂😂.Ooh boyshaod!
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At my age i dont know how to swim and am ok with it, afterall sijawai pitana na fish kwa njia😋😁.
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men who cook are naturally handsome,start now and see the transformation😁.
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Instead of blueticking that guy in your inbox, introduce him to your single friends, we know not all of your friends are dating...save a life😃
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imagine love inapea watu stress ikiwa blind,na ingekua inaona?😁
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Slay queen wa githurai; oyah donda cheza na panty
Donda : aty?
Slay queen : shukisha
😂😂😂😂😂
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Ukiacha gari yako garage ifanyiwe service uchukue uber then uone gari yako ime-overtake uber imekubeba😁.
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The distance between your living room and your bedroom tells you how rich you are😁.
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Welcome to Kenya republic of China, mi niko shanghai meru, na wewe je? 😂
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Stop telling young prople to employ themselves,instead let the old resign and start their own businesses.if the govrnment has employed you for over 10 years,you are old enough to start your own business.
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i am tired of blocking church people. yes brother peter and sister margret,i drink beer and have sex before marriage,so block me if you want.
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wife materials wako church sai,hizo material zingine zina-nurse hangovers😁.
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Ukiletea mtu wako dame aty ikuwe 3some, huwa anaconcentrate kwa new catch unabaki ukihesabu stretchmarks za huyo dame na kuwaangalia vibaya.
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you want a woman who spends 2500-7k on nails to come in your house and wash utensils that have stayed in the sink for 3 days to prove they are wife materials?
shindwe! is you mad?😂
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When you talking to him on the phone and you hear the voice of a naked woman 😢.
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Nimekaa hivi nikakumbuka capital city ya Burkina faso nikaisha nguvu😁.
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@jmarpdx
This level of jelousy,smh! Please hold your hands together on your chest and say "lord am a witch,deliver me"
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Probably hutaki kuambiwa lakini,the person you love the most will hurt you the most😁.
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Kuna msee hapa shop ameambia dem aache kumwita bro,dem akamuuliza "'brathe' iko better?"
I have felt it😢
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Nakumbuka kuna day nilikua tao,chokoraa akaniomba doh na sikua na kakitu,kumwambia sina,akanispank na mkono iko na matope.That embarrassment from tao to my house na hand-shaped stain kwa ass still haunts me😭.
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Zero calls when you are alone,but when with bae,even mathew calls to tell you Judas betrayed Jesus😏
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some girls be like "naitwa rose" lakini ukimwangalia anakaa weed.😁
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Hiring a family member has got to be the worst move in business! They get too comfortable.
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Unaambia dem mkikuyu "bring me my SHOE BAE" kidogo kidogo anakuletea salt😁.
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I just bought a brand new King James version Bible,Devil you are finished!
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Wale watu mnaandika s*x and f**k, manadhani hamtaenda hell😁?
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Faking a phone call in public then someone actually calls while you are at it 😭.
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Akh mtu hutoka far. Kuna time nilikua naimba Amarula hadi nasema my name is Roberto😂😁🙆.
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Unakumbuka ukiwa nursery School ukitembea na bag iko na book moja ya ten bob kwa mfuko.?
History repeats itself in campus.😂
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Where can I find those families that say "here is 20 million,stay away from our son" 😩?
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African men are always single. Once you start dating them,Boom, a wife and 2 kids😁.
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Unachunga bae wako kama mayai alafu Carol anakuja na kachumbari😂.
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Unataka kuniambia wezi wakikam kwako washout "wamlambez" hautajibu😂?
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Nothing Turns on a Luhya Man kama kuwatch bibi yake akipiga piga Kisiagi unga itoke. Unapata msee anaangalia tu, anasmile na kublush. 😂😂😂
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Wale watu huchat na ma-ex wakikumbushana "good old days",shida yenu huwa nini?😂
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Dating a nigga that has money, and dating a nigga who gives you money are completely two different things. Don't get it twisted. 👌
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Sa ukishinda kuanza hey, hi, hello na mwingine anaanza 'ulisema za nywele ni ngapi'. Ata kama ni wewe utajibu gani? 😁
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Boy child ukitembelea dem huwa unabeba nini?
Nataka kujua what to expect 😊.
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The moment you find out that his d*ck is small, everything about him becomes so annoying.😔😔😔
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Bado niko na stress nikikumbuka I grew up thinking 'morning glory' was a gospel song.
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Growing up is a SCAM. I remember when I used to wake,turn on my fav cartoon and wait for breakfast. Sai mi ndio naendea maziwa bila bra.
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Am having a hard time here telling my friend from central that lent has nothing to do with landlord😁.
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