mel 🐝
@melbeeing
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this little bitch go all in
New Orleans, LA
Joined January 2010
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横須賀優勝
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Some of y’all have never been yelled at by a middle-aged white lady about something wildly outside the realm of your pay grade while working in the service industry and it shows
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Abby’s brain should be studied for science
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@TMIN0793
Wow do you know how hard it is to be the most obnoxious person in the room when Lena Dunham is there??
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@Getthebagcoach
Now im wondering how many twins are walking around with the wrong name - like one day the parents accidentally forgot who was who for the last time and it stuck forever
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@Cat0verlord1
@consequence
scientists within academia are held to extremely stringent standards when working with animal models and there is high regulatory oversight to ensure humane and ethical standards for the animals - I guess the same can’t be said for billionaires dicking around with animal models
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@e_asherah
for the longest time I thought she cooked her head. I didn’t understand why she would choose that method and how she was able to bear the heat long enough for it to kill her
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@gabriellemrza
you are clinically bad at jumping thru hoops? Here are three you must jump thru every month so you can get the thing that makes you slightly better at that. Also, good luck remembering you have to do this!
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@lillybilly299
One time a coworker asked another coworker of ours about “the old ball and chain” jokingly and in response he got very serious and said “my wife is my best friend and the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me” and idk that really raised the bar for me
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@Cat0verlord1
@consequence
I worked with mouse models for 2 years and we’d be in trouble with the vet for something like not flipping the water bottle in the cage when transporting the animals (makes the cage wet). They take the safety and wellbeing of the animals very seriously
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@OliviaKMeyers
@snackbitch
@Brooke_L_March
My dad only ever gave the comment “very nice” to EVERYTHING. A on a test? Very nice. How was the choir concert? Very nice. Do you like your gift? Very nice. We told him we’d put it on his headstone. He died in 2014.
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My b*ss is mad I’m evacuating - says I’m “essential” ok if I’m so essential pay me like it lol I’m not staying for a cat 4 for $16.41/hr
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@evaalom
Sometimes I think “wow maybe I should try to get into political office” and then I remember several men have my nudes
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@phillyTRU
They’re kicking off riders who have face coverings that aren’t medical masks?? That’s nuts. A week ago CDC was telling us not to buy masks bc of the PPE shortage in hospitals. Now they’re mandatory?? FOH
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@princess_antifa
The citizen that actually dropped down and picked him up is a hero, much respect to him
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@tyler02020202
Should I do this and also sell the million tomatoes I propagated from $50 worth of tomato plants?
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@kendallstewy
Omggggg my sister and I watched this air as a new episode after waiting SEASONS for Dan’s new heart and we were just absolutely blown away
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@VENTURASHERIFF
@VCAirUnit
@fillmoresheriff
@Cal_OES
Your operating budget for 2019-2020 is $182 million, get a boat equipped with sonar and find her! That lake is less than 2 square miles jfc
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@politicalchicky
@AP
I do watch survival shows! If they’re also without heat, because they’re out of fuel, then melting the snow with your body heat (in your mouth, for example) is a waste of energy your body needs to keep you warm. Can increase risk of hypothermia.
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@RICHYSKREW
This woman smudged the entire protest and it stayed peaceful and the cops stayed away!!
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@ThorniestBerry
My grandma is a very refined sort of woman (think Audrey Hepburn) but she tells one story about how when she was a kid she once beat the shit out of a girl for calling her a “dirty jew.” Sometimes violence is the answer 😌
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@HillaryClinton
don’t forget, a lot of us only begrudgingly voted for you in 2016 because Bernie actually cares about the American people and encouraged us to vote for you, working tirelessly for your campaign. You, on the other hand, clearly only care about yourself.
#ILikeHim
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@tigersgoroooar
I found a thing of hand sanitizer in my junk box I keep under my desk (I don’t have a designated junk drawer in my 1 br so I have a junk cardboard box) and let me tell you, finding forgotten hand sanitizer in a pandemic absolutely sparks joy
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@ZeroSuitCamus
The heart on the ground was crazy, but the dog picking it up and running off with it was INSANE. My sister and I couldn’t believe it when this aired. 10/10, no notes
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@MetalcoreVibes
@miskeencore
That’s a percentage of how much of the daily recommended intake is in the serving
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a lot of you say ‘mother’ when you mean bestie…
THIS is motherhood
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In Nola, every drop of rain for the rest of the year is in excess of our average annual rainfall. It’s July, and we haven’t even hit the peak of hurricane season yet. The climate disaster is here.
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@abbygov
When I was 4 I went into an ice cream shop in Florida and went from table to table asking everyone if they liked my dress while I spun for them and I told them “my mommy is a really fast driver”
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Polls are officially closed in Michigan, but the East Lansing city clerks office is still packed with students who have been waiting on average 3 hours to vote.
This is what the line currently looks like. Btw most of these people are voting for
@BernieSanders
.
#MichiganPrimary
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from an early age I felt I connected to Nicole Richie on a soul level for no reason other than a vibe
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@ewarren
@amyklobuchar
You have zero original ideas and have to resort to smearing a friend on a trail. I’m very disappointed, I’ve tried so hard to support your candidacy, but you continually give me reasons to not want to vote for you.
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there are weirder things are going on on tiktok lives than yes yes yes gang gang ice cream so good
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@GodisaBoomer
I hate twitter but everyday there is a post that keeps me coming back, thank you
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@becca_oneal
I was never more productive, booked & busy than I was between the ages of 14 to 18
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do we think the 13-year brood cicadas and the 17-year brood cicadas are friends or enemies
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@_Pilgrim___
@bex_bambi
have you been on the apps? everyone stuck on those hellscapes rematches every few months 😭
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@im_your_density
@saltedsoybean
when they ignore the opening credits: YOU HAVE YOU WATCH BC YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT HIS REPORT CARD
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my supervisor left me a 5-minute voicemail at 2AM Friday night in which she is clearly having sex - I think I just pretend it didn’t happen, right?
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the electrician that installed caroline calloway’s sound system today
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@SabioScientist
@thisiskashmir
Like I make less than $60k annually and have given more to strangers…
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does anyone know if the entire city’s power is one rusty old tower that is precariously close to the river
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Expectation: there’s plenty of fish in the sea!
Reality:
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