I managed a night out with NO PROBLEMS. No 136, no SH, no police, no crying, no fighting and no arguments!!! I’m so proud of me. Maybe I’m not the problem.
Just got off my interview and I got the voluntary job with NHFT!!!🥳🥳 I can’t make it better as a patient, but I certainly can doing it from the inside, out!!!
Over the two week mark. Trying to sustain this is exhausting and idk how much longer I can do it but I want to be able to tell my dr I’m working extra hard and prove it to him.
Update:
On a section three
Just come off 1:1
Just got some leave
No long term plan
Trying to keep on track to community pathway
In lots of pain
Missing my friends
Wanna cuddle my bug
Feeling lonely
Have a selfie 🩷
Saw a police officer yesterday who I recognised and as we both got let out of the ward I joked and said I’m not running away and then she turned round and said I’m looking really well and she doesn’t normally get to see me like this. Was wholesome. 🩷
Chilling in bed watching YOU, ab to take some oramorph from my chemist of medication as in pain but I’m feeling v happy because I’m home. I fought SO hard for this.
I’m very much out of crisis and ready to be at home now. The events of that night still repeat in my head and I was so close but I need to heal at home. 🥺
My friend sent me a positive post parcel, I’m sobbing. It says ‘you got this’ and they keyring in the background has 54321 on it and the positive cards and postcard with steps for 54321 on it 😭😭 I’m so blessed to have her in my life. She’s just an angel x
My dad and fletchers bond makes me so happy. I won’t be able to take him to supported accommodation with me so he’s staying here and they have a full routine and everything 🩷 and I’ll still get to come and have cuddles with him🩷
Still doesn’t stop me from crying about it 🥹
Discharge soon, starting the gym in a couple weeks, going to start eating healthier, restarting therapy in a month or so. I’m really working on myself. I’m determined.
Had 2 one hour 1-1s with the nurse. She gets me like nobody else I’ve ever met. She kept pointing things out which I’ve never told anyone. She’s let me borrow her crystal while she’s on AL and she’s offered to come in on Friday for my complex case meeting to fight for me. 😭
Tomorrows agenda is:
1. DBT group 10:00-12:30
2. Costco with the dad and the bestie
3. Get some washing done
4. Write up support plan & email to therapist
5. Shower
6. Record emotions and urges in notebook
Bathed and hair wash+straightened fo my first meeting tomorrow to walk about a new service being rolled out in my town. I shall post more tomorrow (if I’m allowed)
Feeling pretty pants but hoping it’ll pass x
I haven’t been using this because my signal is shit on the ward and I’ve just kind of forgotten about it since I don’t see the twitter logo. Hope you’re all doing okay?❤️
@Brick_Cop
@keencopper
@metpoliceuk
@PFEW_HQ
@Ldn_Ambulance
But the police have powers of 136, paramedics have no powers to detain someone unless lacking capacity, even then when they get to a&e they’re more often than not left to be alone which isn’t safe. I know it’s not what most people join the police for but you’re protecting people.
Just seen my CPN. Went well, seeing her next week. Taking this as a good sign. She’s a community worker, does that mean I’m heading toward community or am I kidding myself?
Been doing a diary of urges and things I’m doing to manage to show the dr how hard I’m working, therapy homework. It’s surprising how high my urges are throughout the day but also how natural it is to curb them. The things I do are embedded into my daily life now.
WILD morning hair, waiting to call the GP and then to get ready for going to my old dance festival to watch some of the dancers. Think it’s going to make me sad but that’s okay.
Going home unescorted and I’m actually v nervous. Trying to be more committed to therapy and not engaging in things not only just self harm but drinking, keeping unhealthy things around and everything is at my flat lol.
She’s my little mini me, first girl in the family since me! We’re so alike from when I was a baby apparently. I’m going to protect her with my whole being. She deserves more than the hand I was dealt.
Thought my depot made me ill, turns out I was just super tired from little sleep and anxiety leading up to depot🫢 had a nap and I’m good, Chinese on the way🤤
Is it bad I just want to settle down with someone? I’m so broken but I feel I could heal better with someone holding me up. Someone I could learn to trust. I’m tired of being alone.