Medical Axioms
@medicalaxioms
Followers
67K
Following
78K
Media
5K
Statuses
100K
I’m Mark Reid, MD. I made @MedicalAxioms. Now I’m writing a book called Individual Daily Risk that will change the way doctors & scientists interpret RCTs.
United States
Joined October 2010
The container on the left has 3,820 balls in it. 3819 white and one green. On the right: 4525 white and one green. The rules of the game are simple. Shake up the container and draw 1 ball a day. WHITE ball means you play again tomorrow. GREEN means you’re dead.
22
102
616
A colleague was getting yelled at by a patient’s wife in the ICU to try some untested treatment. “Every third grader in America knows you should treat COVID with ivermectin!”. To which she calmly replied “that’s why we don’t let third graders practice medicine.”.
350
7K
61K
One thing we don’t teach you in med school or residency is how to call in sick. 1/20.
171
2K
6K
Took care of a homeless gentleman who sleeps in a park near my house. He asked to get discharged before 10am. I asked him why. “Because I volunteer to walk dogs at the animal shelter and I have to be there by then.”.
46
448
4K
Student, you do not study to pass the test. You study to prepare for the day when you are the only thing between a patient and the grave.
38
2K
3K
My neighbor just rang my doorbell and handed me these and after I said thank you and closed the door I cried.
44
259
3K
Lessons Learned from H1N1 October 2009:. I was there as a hospitalist doing a month of nights. What follows is my experience and what I learned.
62
871
2K
Bad doctors tell you about other people’s mistakes. Good ones tell you about their own.
47
745
2K
My colleague admitted a patient to the hospital recently and asked them if they had a COVID vaccine. “Yeah a lot of them.”. “Like how many?”. “Probably 20.”. Turns out he had been finding gift card and other incentive programs and getting shots to get the cash and prizes.
161
344
2K
“What time does your shift end today?”.“7pm”.“When will you be home?”.“I don’t know.”.“Can we make plans for 8?”.“You can make them. No guarantee I’ll be there.”.“How come you don’t know when you’ll be done with work?”.“Because I’m a doctor I guess.”.
55
478
2K
My friend’s kid is a senior here in Denver and did this little #streetart project this week. I told him I would see if it get any likes.
26
107
2K
Happy Doctor's Day!. Never accept a new responsibility without dropping 2. Never take on an administrative task unless it pays part of your salary. You have worked while others played and carry burdens few will ever see. Your health and happiness is important. ❤️.
31
620
2K
Me and my Honey Bunny of Love got Civil Unionized today at the Park County Office in Fairplay, Colorado. In Attendance.Maid of Honor: Jenny.Best Man: Little Guy
202
20
2K
If you want to become a really good doctor, you have to learn to take advice you don’t want, from people you don’t like, said in a way you don’t enjoy.
40
496
2K
Imagine you are an 18 year old soldier. Your boat just hit the beach at Normandy. You run straight at machine gun and artillery fire towards almost certain death while your friends die around you. Now put on your mask you sniveling coward and make your infinitesimal sacrifice.
26
301
2K
You know those adult patients who get admitted “all the time” and “every resident knows them”?. I will tell you something you don’t know. 1/.
45
428
2K
The day I have the audacity to refuse medical care to a sick person because of MY religious beliefs you can feel free to tear up my medical license.
25
232
1K
You have probably never once in your life called Palliative Care too early.
28
165
1K
Reasons I’m glad my parents had me vaccinated me as a child:.1. I didn’t get polio, measles or tetanus. 2. I learned to make small sacrifices for the greater good of my community. 3. I avoided the pathological sense of uniqueness that creates selfish and entitled adults.
28
420
1K
When a colleague comes to you and says “I have to leave I am facing a situation.” You have to be able to say, “I’ll cover you go do your thing.” 17/20.
4
185
1K
Doctor, your success is not measured in how busy you are. Nor in the weight of your CV. It is only measured by the compassion you avail to the next sick person.
24
488
1K
Colleagues around you are asking for help all the time. Here are the words they use:.I’m so tired. I’m here all the time. I need a break. I’m sick of this shit. I hate my patients. I can’t keep doing this. I’m dying. Very rarely: I need some help. @jkwillettmd.
32
581
1K
You will be wrong. You will hear about it. You will be ashamed. You will learn from it. You will be a better doctor afterwards.
15
531
1K
One of the greatest honors in our profession is witnessing the beautiful acts of kindness nurses do for patients every day:.- sweet conversations about children and families.- relieving shame of the body and its functions.- respect for and relief of pain.
41
282
1K
If your patient hates your guts do the following:.1. Go to their room. 2. Pull up a chair. 3. Ask them “What’s on your mind?”.4. Sit very quietly and listen. Twenty minutes if needed. 5. Tell them you are here to help. 6. Tell them you want to know when things aren’t right.
50
296
1K
I’ll suggest when this is over, we rent out a city somewhere on earth and invite all the healthcare workers from around the world for a week of wild living and indifference veiled from the rude gaze of public scrutiny.*. Who’s in?. *A party without bounds.
80
118
1K
You don't have to be a genius to become a doctor. Just be willing to work while the other kids play.
27
458
1K
I will block the next person who says “the @CDCgov recommends. ”. If you haven’t noticed, the CDC is nowhere to be found in this pandemic. They have no information. That are not applying any lessons learned in Asia. They are absent in this disaster.
65
220
1K
Treatment of cancer is a cab ride not a train ride. Go as far as you want. When you feel like you’ve gone far enough, tell your oncologist to stop and let you off. Walk from there. Enjoy the remaining days of your one real life.
34
252
1K
I saw a lady with “rapid onset dementia” over the course of a month. [medical story thread].
24
505
1K
When you see kids with a lemonade stand, do not pause to consider if you’d like a cup, you ogre. Pull over, let the kids give you the pitch, buy one, pay double, explain tipping, drink it down, give a generally positive review, and continue on your way.
35
179
1K
Before touching a patient, ask permission. “May I listen to your lungs?”.“May I take a look at your rash?”. Start by placing your hands on one of the universal safe spaces: shoulder, forearm, handshake. Don’t just dive in and mash on the belly.
50
346
1K
My end-of-life discussion has three parts:.1. Let me stop hurting you (let’s stop doing painful tests, etc.).2. Let me help you stop hurting (symptom control).3. Don’t make me hurt you (when it’s time to die—DNR status).
16
398
1K
Never fail to acknowledge every housekeeper, engineer, & food service person you pass in the hall. There are no invisible people. Everyone is essential. #hospitalrules.
23
381
1K
Don’t start checking blood tests and fishing for problems in the 99-year-old lady. Just get her back home before you screw something up.
34
403
1K
If you were a political adversary of the United States and you wanted to destroy it, you’d flood social media suggesting:. - open the economy without adequate testing .- unproven treatments like HCQ + Zn + macrolide.
30
338
967
I’m 52 and I’ve heard the expression “calm before the storm” hundreds of times. I don’t think I’ve ever felt it before. Until now.
32
111
1K
People don’t understand the single greatest risk of #COVIDー19. It is The Pinch. Come along with me while I explain. #COVID19US #CoronavirusUSA #coronavirus #SARSCoV2 #COVID19seattle #Coviditalia #covid4MDs #thepinch.
36
649
1K
The world is full of people who would die to get the immunizations and medical treatments Americans refuse.
21
287
999
If everybody hates you, they are usually right. If nobody hates you, you are a delicious donut. 🍩. Your goal should always be:.mild to moderately hated.
30
261
1K
When you run out of doctor things to do for the sick person, see if there are any human things you can offer.
21
429
1K
Please join me in a moment of silence for every sick kid who wanted to stay home from school today but their mom is a nurse.
49
192
948
To me, refusal to vaccinate your kids is a simple expression of your approach to the world: You are here to take, not to give. To benefit from a tiny risk and a small sacrifice from everyone around you without joining in it.
23
362
934
Is this drawer the same around the world? .(Send pictures)
127
54
976
My resident is holding my patient's hand at the bedside and it makes me want to cry with joy.
38
114
950
If you want to become a really good doctor, you have to learn to take advice you don’t want that is said in a way you don’t want to hear.
28
226
989
It has to become more part of our culture. We can’t expect people in the midst of a personal tragedy to continue to practice medicine like a computer healthcare kiosk. 18/20.
3
108
1K
Cordon off a half hour to sit and chat with the dying person. They’re looking ahead at a place most of us fear to view. A little connection in those final hours means more than you know. You may feel a stranger, but you are a sufficient representative of the human tribe.
16
197
953
Common Errors During Long Hospitalizations:.1. Forgetting the chief complaint.2. Missing trends in vitals and labs.3. Ignoring medication side effects and drug-drug interactions.4. Forgetting this person once walked the earth, rode a bike, kissed their special someone goodnight.
23
411
953
During the 23 hours and 55 minutes a day when your doctor is not in your hospital room, it's going to be your nurse who saves your life.
12
609
833
When a nurse yells from a room “I need some help in here!” he isn’t asking for assistance arranging the patient’s flowers. Run and help!.
28
240
869
I had an old friend over for dinner the other day. He was the first Black doctor I ever mentored. I asked him what I did that was most helpful. Here’s what he told me:.1/17.
21
196
968
Best part of finishing residency: Nobody is critiquing every medical decision you make. Worst part: Nobody is double checking every medical decision you make.
18
127
917
No matter if the patient is unconscious, sedated, or dead, act the same in the room as if they were awake and watching you. #hospitalrules.
23
327
871
To anyone suggesting it is improper to criticize the President of the United States, I must inform you, he is my employee.
11
84
857
Do not take your second Pfizer vaccination without first confirming your stockpile of acetaminophen and NSAIDs.
95
46
925
Everybody likes the stone from the river. So smooth no rough edges left. Nobody asks the stone what it felt like like to get this way. It got bounced around and lost some of itself tumbling along the riverbed. This is what we do to make doctors.
24
150
955
If you want to become a good doctor, you have to learn to take advice you don’t want. from people you don’t like. said in a way you really despise.
25
225
884
The general population doesn’t respect how hard it is for medical people to titrate their coffee dose between coma and status epilepticus w/ Torsades de pointes.
19
194
848
I asked my med student when the patient could go home. He turned to the nurse and said, "When can he go home?".#honors.
32
133
801
Parenting is easy:.- Locate the offspring daily.- Put food near it.- Get it fresh pants when it needs fresh pants.- Make sure it’s in bed at about the same time every night .- After that, just work on yourself. The kid will imitate you for its whole life.
31
184
797
No matter if your father in law kills himself or any other of a hundred tragedies, this is the essential part. You have to be able to recognize when you are sufficiently impaired by your emotions not to be able to practice medicine. 16/20.
2
65
890
Intern Rule #1.When someone tells you to do something:.🔲 draw a box .🔲 write it down. When the job is done or delegated, check it off. ☑️. You can’t go home until all the boxes are checked off. #TipsForNewDocs.
57
112
899
I hate “better than nothing.”. Better than nothing has emptied every pharmacy in the US of hydroxychloroquine. Who cares?. The patients with pulmonary sarcoidosis, lupus and RA care. A flare of an autoimmune disease is not heightened immunity. Quite the opposite. #covid4MDs.
19
252
847
How mRNA vaccines work: A short tutorial. 1. The mRNA is injected into your arm. 2. Your cells pick it up and are all like “Wut dis?” 1/.
27
229
848
Fortunately as I lose twitter followers my monthly twitter income has only changed from $0.00 to $0.00.
31
23
801
When I open my doctor-run hospital, there will be no pagers. A courier will bring you a puppy with the callback number tied to its collar.
43
144
774
You must.1. care for yourself so you can .2. care for others. There is one more. You also have to .3. learn to be cared for by others.
14
274
792
Since it doesn’t seem to be published anywhere, I’m publishing it here:. I’m in a group of 50 hospitalists. We have cared for thousands of sick COVID patients for 6 months. 10s of thousands of hours in their rooms. Paper surgical & N95s masks. 2% of us have been infected.
39
134
838
That means on the other end you may have to pick up the slack when a colleague steps out in the midst of a personal crisis. 20/20.
31
30
851
Chief complaint: My owner is suddenly unable to drive.
21
103
861
When a nurse yells from a room “I need some help in here!” he isn’t asking for assistance arranging the patient’s flowers. Get in there and help!.
22
152
720
Most sick people have a theory about what is wrong with them. They aren’t always right. Neither are mine. I have never ever one time in 20 years suffered any ill effects from adding their hypothesis to my differential diagnosis.
23
155
772
Don’t start fishing for problems with blood tests and studies in the 99-year-old lady. Just get her home before you screw something up.
24
267
736
Doctors don’t always know who the good doctors are. Patients do.
68
157
767
We don’t put on a show for your entertainment. The hard work is done inside behind closed doors. If you’d prefer to be cared for in the lobby or parking lot, let your doctors know. #FilmYourHospital.
27
77
680
It’s better to answer a question wrong in front of your colleagues and teachers than to kill a person with your ignorance in secret.
9
322
746
I can feel my cells picking up the mRNA saying “wut dis?”.
14
29
770
Your obituary will not mention if you felt like doing it. It will only mention if you did it.
12
297
699
You don’t have to “stay calm.”. You only have to act calm.
8
124
790
High confidence and low information is a deadly combination.
20
397
687
You were suffering from depression. I could see the signs and tried to get you to see your doctor about it but you were ashamed to go. You knew things were getting bad and you gave away your handguns but not the shotgun. Miss you, Dad. #ShareAGunViolenceStory.
59
139
702
You’ll never know what’s abnormal until you see a ton of normal. You won’t be able to spot deviations from the normal disease course until you see it many times. You have to see enough cases so the routine ones become boring. Now you can spot the exceptions.
26
213
739
Internal Medicine in a Nutshell:.- Blood too thick or too thin.- Immune system too weak or too strong.- Organ worn out.- Artery or vein clogged.- Hormone out of whack.- Too many cigarettes, drinks or calories.
17
206
736
Little known fact: Patients feel more trust and faith and get better faster when they feel like their doctors, nurses, therapists, and social workers all know each other, communicate together and get along friendly-like.
22
165
701
Here’s a random picture of my dad just before he killed himself as a complication of depression. My daughter and I have it too but with proper treatment we’ve gone on to live happy and productive lives.
40
81
714
To many non-medical people, the doctor job looks pretty easy. What they don’t take into consideration is how fast we have to make reasonable, reliable decisions and how many we have to make in a day.
19
198
704
Even though everyone one else seems totally oblivious, you and I know cases are going through the roof in the next 90 days, right?.
40
68
693
If your resident is doing a bad job you have to tell them how to fix it early and give them a chance to impress you with improvement. Surprise bad evaluations out of left field are the work of a low down no good lazy dog. #tipsfornewattendings.
22
123
701
I’m taking the first dose of mRNA vaccine that I am offered.
41
37
709
If I’d a knowed I could go months and months without catching a single viral URI just by wearing a paper mask, social distancing, and compulsively handwashing I would have started 20 years ago.
25
60
707