Golden Guillotine Boy
@mattyanko666
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Following
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guitar guy @jfcrewfanclub @momjeansca etc
he/him oakland ca
Joined May 2010
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Motherfuckers wanna bitch about merch cut this and that but nobody is talking about the absolute crime that is disco loadouts where the venue give you 30 minutes post show to load out all your gear and merch so they can have DJ club night at 11pm
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Look, I know we’re all big, tall white dudes with glasses but I’ve been mistaken for both Sam and Bart too many times on this tour so here’s a handy cheat sheet:
Sam - Tattoos, little to no facial hair
Bart - Tattoos, beard
Yanko - No tattoos, beard
RT to save a life
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Turnstile on the radio in sheetz this reality is insane
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I don’t like Jager and didn’t drink any of this
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Fun fact if you pay Eric from
@momjeansca
$100 they’ll let you hold the best buds guitar, for an extra $50 they’ll let you plug it in
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@dunecup
Couple times we tried looking at an apartment in fairmount, first time the realtor no showed and the second time he opened the front door and there were already people living in the apartment
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🧐
sublunary dirty pink
laigh turquoise blue
agonistic light mustard
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None of you cowards will ever top this 2004ish with my band GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN dubbed POOPFIST years later by 4chan
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*21 savage voice* how many guitars you got (a lot) how many pedals you got (a lot) how many picks you lost (a lot)
1
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Whole ass wheel flew off the van while I was driving lol
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1
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I’ve had this picture of
@graduatinglife
in my drafts for a few weeks and I can’t think of a funny enough caption so just fucking have it already
0
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Just applied for an $18/hr baking apprentice job pray for me
3
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Back at White Oak Music Hall in Houston today, first pic is the stage here that we played in the fall with
@momjeansca
and the second pic is the stage we’re playing today. LOOK how far we done came, y’all
0
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Tavish forever. What a fucking monumental loss. I wish I showed him more of the love that he showed me and everyone else who knew him.
0
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Hey kid at the gig tonight wearing a safari hat and smoking a fat cigar outside afterwards you were a dick
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1
96
A flight attendant: Does that shirt say mom jeans?
Me: Yes
Flight attendant: Excellent.
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I really need to sell guitars and amps for a living it’s really the thing I am best at doing
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Sorry bout all the face spam jk I’m feeling myself lately fuck you if you don’t like it!!!
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Took 26 years to come to the realization that I’m hot as fuck thank u
@ZachMx
for the portrait
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Valentines Day is fake but I’m a little tipsy and I’d kiss most of you motherfuckers
3
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87
You cannot fuck with our vibe our vibe is unfuckable
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Had a cool moment today with my dad when we sat down in a guitar shop and everyone else in the store stopped what they were doing to listen for a minute when I started playing. My mom just texted me saying that he’s so proud of my passion for guitars and music lol.
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Finally crossed playing the Church off my list last night and it absolutely lived up to the hype
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Left my phone in the bathroom yesterday and found these pics when i got it back
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I am an absolute fucking psycho and just drove us 7 and a half hours straight overnight from Tucson to Cabazon
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A girl I very briefly talked to keeps referring to her current boyfriend as “this goober” on Instagram and I really feel like I dodged a bullet there
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Nothing I love more than playing a support set, guitar teching another support set, guitar teching a headlining set, and then coming straight outside to look at Twitter on my phone
3
0
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I love when this account accidentally posts duster
thrashing steel
large-scale yellowish tan
executorial forest
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We’re recording at the bassist from the goo goo dolls’ studio this weekend and I just met him and now I’m listening to Slide while I shit in his bathroom
3
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Here is a SELFIE I felt good about (rare) I’m gonna call it “KISS THE COOK” sorry about my unkempt brow and also sorry about whatever is in the corner of my mouth I think it’s ash from the fire pit but idk honestly anyway here you go
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get you a man who looks at you like I look at my tiny lox bagel
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This looks like rock 2 the rhythm
togaed carnation pink
formulated custard
organismal marigold
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Some kid on Instagram called me “pork roll pro” because I cut the slits in my pork roll so it doesn’t cup up when you fry it, should I change my whole online persona to reflect this?
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I feel like if I’ve learned anything during quarantine, it’s that I should open a diner some day
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My favorite YouTube comment is on a Frank ocean live vid that just says “I gotta stop doing this to myself man”
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Yeah I’m doin this 2015-2020 shit from 30k feet thank u god for airplane WiFi
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Crazy that I’m playing a show with Motion City Soundtrack on Sunday, a band I’ve loved since I first heard them in 2004 when they were on the Burnout 3 soundtrack, where I also heard MCR and Fall Out Boy for the first time
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Worked out for over an hour tonight I think I’m at like 10 days out of the past 14 at the gym or something when I lose 60lbs and look this hot again it’s over for y’all
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1
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I don’t even miss touring anymore, I just miss hanging out and smoking weed in the van
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Me and
@Pdaddynthehyena
just got waved at by a dude in a ski mask in the Wendy’s drive thru love north Philly
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I absolutely loved working for this guy I hope he gets a fat ass settlement
0
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Reached a big milestone in this “career path” of mine where I’ll never have to buy another fucking guitar pick in my life again thanks for the support
@jimdunlopusa
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I just finished one tour and am about to leave for a second tour? Seems like the perfect time to announce ANOTHER ONE
@JFCREWBABY
headliner in March with Grad Life, Bears In Trees, Kingo, Cry Baby, and Pure Hex. See u fuckers there
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I love making breakfast in the afternoon goddammit
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Considering changing my name to golden breakfast boy what y’all think
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I start a week from Monday let’s fucking gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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Thanks to everyone who has reached out with kind words and support. Annie went peacefully in my mom’s arms about an hour ago. She’s running with her brother again across the rainbow bridge now.
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Imagine tweeting some shit like this and tagging all the bands Jesus Christ lol
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Joel just threw a donut hole at the anti abortion protestors outside planet parenthood
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Why tweet “I’m horny” when I could tweet “my loins are on fire”
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