c ✨
@marxiners
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she/her. weird combo of baseball memes and leftism. deeply unserious and fully committed to the bit. opinions aren’t my own. #tridentsup #dbacks
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Joined July 2018
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Pinned Tweet
Shohei Ohtani gets a face full of Teoscar Hernandez's seeds.
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they’re kissing in there i just know it
The Reds have a new home run celebration that they do in the team tunnel away from cameras
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if i am ever fired from my job i hope my friends post a pic of me on insta with breaking news: fired emblazoned on the bottom
Breaking: The Mariners have fired manager Scott Servais, a source confirmed to ESPN amid multiple reports.
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how could you not be romantic about baseball
In the bottom of the 9th, Mariners and Phillies fans in Edgar’s have united in a chant: “FUCK THE ASTROS”
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the mariners absolutely would get no hit by grimace
Grimace would literally be our best reliever if the White Sox signed him
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the dance featuring pouting juan soto may make for my favorite dance yet
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The 2024 Seattle Mariners have 88 quality starts.
They've lost 30 of those games.
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@Coll3enG
when I was about the same age I was at a friends house and we were smoking weed and drinking brut champagne and the friend had a cat which I am highly allergic too so I took a benadryl not thinking about it and I (a) saw a ghost and (b) felt like my entire body was Vix vapo rub
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fans should be able to coup ownership.
i am being so serious.
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if 9/11 never happened, the mariners would have won the world series in 2001
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GIVE CAL RALEIGH THE BIGGEST CONTRACT IN FRANCHISE HISTORY IM BEING SO SERIOUS
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seattle protesters really did just push the cops out of their precinct on cap hill and declare it an autonomous zone
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please extend him.
julio needs his emotional support veteran and he already lost santana we can’t have this happen again.
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don’t worry sauce, it was always all good because guess what - YOU PLAY 9 INNINGS. keep your head up king
@tsauce7
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@marxiners
Can someone photoshop this and put in small print under thanks fans and add “for your money”
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the bundy curse
You cannot blame the offense, the bullpen, Scott, Jerry, Stanton, etc this is a higher power meddling with us and I will take that opinion to the grave
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if we continue this behavior we are going to the world series
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With a 🧹 of Texas…The Mariners now have their largest lead (8.5 games!) over the AL west since 2001.
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@waifujaq
as if there’s any other place to find a good flannel smh they need to mind their business
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seattle mariners do not need a brat summer, they need a bat summer. (please i am begging)
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CAL SAYING ITS ALWAYS GOOD WHEN THE ASTROS LOSE WITH THE FULLY UNBUTTONED JERSEY
I WILL NEVER RECOVER
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if 9/11 never happened, the mariners would have won the world series in 2001
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julio did nothing wrong and had a very human reaction to having a bat nearly hit him. any julio slander will not be tolerated this evening.
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honestly, I’ve got to hand it to Jerry. it is really impressive.
he somehow managed to build a roster with the most elite pitching in baseball that is completely negated by the literal worst offense in baseball.
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sometimes all i think about is you
late nights in the middle of june
"i miss him" and it's your favorite player who got traded.
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your memory of the seattle mariners at boston red sox on july 29, 2024 is being erased. you’re welcome.
your memory of the seattle mariners at kansas city royals on june 7, 2024 is being erased. you’re welcome.
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JOSH ROJAS MENTIONED
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your memory of the seattle mariners at kansas city royals on june 7, 2024 is being erased. you’re welcome.
your memory of the seattle mariners at houston astros on may 3, 2024 is being erased. you’re welcome.
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adversity (DUI) and struggles (beating his wife)
When I hear about Marcel Ozuna “overcoming adversity and struggles”
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if i won the lottery, there would be signs.
i would buy the weird racist billboard on I5 north in Chehalis and put Marx quotes on it
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BREAKING: The Seattle Mariners are reportedly acquiring Randy Arozarena in a trade with the Rays.
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@Liz_Cheney
it’s nice to see you tweeting in defense of your dad.
he’s got too much blood on his hands to tweet for himself.
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@kennatration
whatever you do, do not mix it with champagne because you will see hat man and victorian child and feel like you’re breathing vicks vaporub
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Dominic Canzone is being activated from the IL ahead of today’s game.
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Hunter Brown goes six scoreless against the Mariners!
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c-eattle mariners to win the division and make it to the world series
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The Astros lost 3-1. They are 7-19.
Houston has lost five in a row, 12 of its past 15 and just got swept for the fourth time this season. This is the Astros' worst start since 1969.
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John Stanton, this could be you but you’re a cheap bum and everyone hates you
Steve Cohen is outside of Citi Field greeting Mets fans ahead of NLDS Game 3
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i’ve made a huge mistake
i wish we could send every everyday player to tacoma and bring up locklear et al. up. i’m being so serious.
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mariners would win more games if julio started spooning cal on field post game
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Woody Allen pursued his underage, de facto stepdaughter, groomed her, took nudes of her, and then married her.
Woody Allen is a fucking pedophile. FULL STOP.
Slandering Mia Farrow as a mother doesn’t change those facts. Even if she is/was a bad mother, it changes nothing.
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i just fear we are approaching paper bag over face at games quality of baseball
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Locklear just cut up his entire shirt to make it a tank
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maybe the mariners just need a little more gay energy to hype them up a bit.
hear me out -
the sexual tension between harper and schwarber
the dbacks outfield sword fighting
what if our dudes just tried being a little more homoerotic?
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me after watching the mariners drop 6 series straight and lose their 10 game lead in the al west
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GIVE CAL RALEIGH THE BIGGEST CONTRACT IN FRANCHISE HISTORY IM BEING SO SERIOUS
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your memory of the seattle mariners at houston astros on may 3, 2024 is being erased. you’re welcome.
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Please lord let Jeff Flake enter the room and pull a thumbs down ala John McCain
#KavanaughVote
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Biggest changes in playoff chances
since the trade deadline (via FanGraphs):
HOU +39.4%
KC +34.1%
SD +28.0%
NYM +24.3%
DET +20.8%
ARI +19.6%
MIL +18.9%
CLE +5.5%
..
..
..
CIN -4.4%
CHC -4.5%
TEX -9.4%
TB -11.2%
SF -11.3%
PIT -14.2%
STL -26.5%
ATL -32.7%
BOS -36.9%
SEA -44.1%
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Eugenio Suárez is back in Seattle and didn’t hide the fact that he thinks he might tear up when he steps to the plate tonight.
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I truly don't understand why this organization just willingly refuses to be normal
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GENO, YOU ARE PERFECT DO NOT EVER CHANGE
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we like having you here and we also want you to stay 🫶🏻🔱✨
Since arriving in Seattle on a 1-year contract after being DFA'ed by the Nationals, Victor Robles is hitting .349 with a .934 OPS.
Robles on his future:
“I just like it here. I want to stay here."
#TridentsUp
»
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Taylor Walls did the Trump "Fight! Fight!" after this double
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the way cal said its always good when the astros lose……i just know he talks you through it
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@Variety
if you need proof of nomative determinism look no further than Colin Hanks and Chet Hanks
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wow, marcell ozuna really choked during the home run derby.
google “marcell ozuna chokes” to learn more!
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@AJA_Cortes
what kind of weird, MRA / PUA / incel type of shit is this?
if you look up “terrible evolutionary arguments” and “small dick energy” up in the dictionary - it literally is just this tweet.
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@chick_in_kiev
went to a baseball game. he told me I was being “too rowdy” when I cheered. I also got garlic fries and then he told me he wouldn’t kiss me (which I was like actually this is great)
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so i have been waiting to post until stitch god did (didn’t want to share his art early) but my husband got a custom geno jersey 🤫
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