Mark A. Henry
@markahenrybooks
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Obscure novelist
Southern New England, USA
Joined March 2021
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ليفربول
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Palace
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Southampton
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ヒロアカ
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フブちゃん
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Pinned Tweet
Don't get caught.
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@EwinsTim
It's a power move, for sure. The only problem would be if the person you're negotiating with shows up wearing two cats.
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Ready everybody? Use your legs, not your back. 1-2-3…
#writerslift
! I have 17 followers and I’m trying to get to let’s say, 1000. Post your books and projects and I’ll follow you back.
#writingcommunity
#ShamelessSelfpromoTuesday
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@gothspiderbitch
She was probably thinking that with a set of thesauruses, she could breed them and start her own Jurassic Park.
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@amysuiterclarke
Isn't this just the market at work? Male fiction readers prefer male writers, but men are a small fraction of the reading population. Publishers are simply following the money by giving their overwhelmingly female customers what they want.
Don't open a steak house in India.
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@MrHWM
In ten years, anyone who shows up for work on time and can write a complete sentence will be considered a superhuman.
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@ThatSeanHarding
@JoeyMannarinoUS
In fairness to the simp, this isn’t a campaign contribution. This money goes straight into Trump’s pocket.
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Did Cat Stevens murder Ron DeSantis or the other way around? I could see it both ways. Anyway, rest in power, Cat or Ron.
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Does everyone know you can look up the quote from the Kindle edition of your book that your readers have highlighted the most?
Mine is: "Do not allow the craziest person to make the rules. This is harder than it sounds."
#writingcommunity
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@AmeliaLAppel
@MitchelCCharles
Soft move. The writer should send the email to Agent A, but then address Agent B in body, thanking them for their enthusiastic interest in order to trigger FOMO in Agent A. The writer signs off with something like, “Your chihuahua sounds hilarious! I look forward to meeting him!”
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I've written two novels and I still type "teh" more often than "the."
#writingadvice
#amwriting
#writingcommunity
#teh
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FREE WRITING ADVICE:
Ask the stupidest people you know for life advice and the plots will start writing themselves.
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@mdbell79
I always laugh when people talk about their “desert island” books. If I was stranded on an island, I’d pull out a book, any book, someone would instantly appear to interrupt me, and I’d ask that person for a rescue.
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@bestoutwrites
Right? The first book is like building a ship. The second is like building a ship in a bottle.
Keep at it.
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@SteveCicirelli
Writing is like sex. You think about it all the time and the best part is right at the end when you finish.
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@Madeline_Pine
Too comp-driven. Just give us the best books and stop the cycle of chasing whatever was “hot” last quarter.
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@WillHild
@Tether_to
@bitfinex
What are cryptocommodities if not a sophisticated scheme to artificially inflate the price of cryptocommodities?
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@BradLeeOnBass
Riding the back of a garbage truck with a full belly and a cool buzz is Level 10.
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If you pay for something that cost 10.63 with a $20 bill and the young woman at the register hits the wrong button to make change, then calls her female manager over to help, and the manager starts looking around for a calculator, is it mansplaining to say, “9.37”?
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@PalindromeTodd
If she somehow knew you were a literary agent, that is the kind of high-grade, razor-edged retort most people don’t come up with until weeks later. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
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Do you guys consider spelling
#writingcommunity
correctly to be some sort of password that lets one into the Secret Society of the Writing Community (like I do)?
#WritingCommunity
#WritingCommmunity
#WritingCommnunity
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@RingerVerse
Isaiah delivers an old-man strength beatdown to Walker, takes the shield and gives it to Sam, along with a message about second chances.
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It's a Christmas (eve) miracle! THE HONOLULU SITUATION hit
#1
on Amazon this morning.
Thanks to everyone who helped make it happen.
#bestseller
#writingcommunity
#itsallhappening
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Can you build a robot (non self-aware is fine) from what you see in my junk drawer?
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@RossAhmed9
Common phrase. Even if it wasn’t, it’s not a nonsensical idiom. The meaning is pretty straightforward.
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The most effective query letter is just a transcript of Luke's speech to Jabba: "Greetings, Exalted One, etc, etc... I warn you not to underestimate my powers."
(Remember to cut "bargain for Solo's life" and replace with "submit my manuscript.")
#amwriting
#amquerying
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Since my appearance on
@beyondzeropod
two weeks ago, THE HONOLULU SITUATION has climbed to
#3
on Amazon. Thanks Ben!
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Well, your boy almost bought it this morning when a chunk of concrete fell from a highway overpass. A little more in the center of the windshield and it may have gone right through. Life is a game of inches, people.
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@realmattfalcon
The biggest problem is that you spent any time at all thinking about this nonsense. Good luck with the book.
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@askamycollins
It’s always strange to me how wildly transparent agents are about letting us know that “quality of manuscript” is pretty far down the list of things they’re looking for, but it offers insight as to why so many great books were rejected many times.
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A reader just emailed me to say that my novel was a bit of stress relief and relaxation for her while she was helping her husband fight stage 4 cancer, and is somebody cutting onions around here?
#amwriting
#writingcommunity
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I’m here to kick ass and sign autographs. And my pen is running out.
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@arumi_writes
Yes, I too would like to agent best-selling authors. I will also agree to represent NBA all-stars and Oscar-winning actors under the age of 28.
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@RichardBacula
His nuts were like Hostess Snoballs; delicate, pink and plump with just the faintest whiff of coconut.
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@alioop326
@Thor_2000
The last generation that will ever know a childhood without the Internet/social media.
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@cstegman
Developing capital efficient content is the producer’s job. Don’t these morons realize that it’s the executives that will be made obsolete by AI?
The CREATORs of original content will be just fine, thank you.
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You know how you’re not supposed to write anything that doesn’t propel the plot forward? People should think about talking that way.
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@lil_miss_books
I just had to add my middle initial because Mark Henry, formerly known as the pro wrester Sexual Chocolate, is way more famous,
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Surely, it must be “dopklusterfuken” or something like that.
If I, as a German, am already worried about the US, how bad must it be for my American friends? I think there're no words
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What was the best sentence you wrote today?
I'll pick my favorite and send that person 10 US dollars.
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I made bookends in the shape of Jamestown RI using stones from my daughter’s favorite beach.
#WritingCommunity
#books
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How many bumper stickers can a vehicle have before it’s a reliable diagnosis of the driver’s mental illness? 6? 7?
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It's always interesting to see your book out in the wild. Here's mine behind the counter of a retail store, where I assume it's used by the staff as a handy weapon to club mouthy Karens.
#writingcommunity
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The way he just walks away like a fucking action hero just before it topples over.
That's high-end beavering.
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If you find yourself in Connecticut next month, join me for the release of my new novel THE HONOLULU SITUATION with
@RBBookshop
at The Glastonbury Arts Festival on September 10th. Come by and say hello!
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FREE WRITING ADVICE:
When asked a list of your favorite authors, only use surnames and always include at least one made-up name like "Balgorta."
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@whduryea
If the manuscript for Infinite Jest was found next to the body of David Foster Wallace the insurance salesman, it would be considered the ramblings of a madman.
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@K_J_Holo
I don’t like the implication that a single sensitivity reader is representative of an entire group of people.
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I have no idea where my college diploma is, but I do have this in-class essay where the professor gave my literary analysis an F and called me "perverse, if not an enemy of the law."
#WritingCommunity
#college
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High praise from a man who knows funny.
Read this book in two days. A comic novel that reads like a thriller. And the humor hits that sweet spot of being both good-silly and sharp. That Kirkus review on the cover is actually spot-on. Relentless, indeed.
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This is my greatest writing advice: You can solve ANY sticky plot point by writing dialogue between your smartest and dumbest characters.
#amwriting
#writingcommunity
#thehonsit
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If you haven’t wasted a good part of your youth, then you’ve wasted your youth.
"Y'all keep saying you wasted your youth on hooch, drugs, and partying. Fuck that. That's how you spend youth. That's winning. What are you gonna do, party down when you're 50? I'm 50. My idea of partying is staying up til 11."
#1linewed
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FREE WRITING ADVICE:
Your characters probably eat, but who cares?
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One day I hope someone reads my novels with the rapt intensity of an old lady checking her grocery store receipt.
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