Sometimes im the guy who wore a regular earring looking at a guy
with a fun earring thinking I should have turned it out, but sometimes im the guy with a tech deck skateboard hanging from his ear looking at a guy with a regular earring thinking.. maybe I could have toned it down
In 6th grade i asked a girl to be my girlfriend over text after school and then i took a nap and woke up a few hours later to a text from her saying that, “things just aren’t working out”
Do you ever make the mistake of going to target high while wearing an impeccable outfit and then you aren't able to tell if everyone staring at you because you look good or because you're high
just got a text from my crush telling me he's seeing someone now and then an e-mail telling me i made it to round two of applicants for a sexy job all within 59 seconds of each other
My dad just said "butt plug" 3 (three) times and then my mom just asked alexa if she's a republican or a democrat all within the span of about 6 minutes
Thinking maybe it's not that i hate the idea of having a kid but it's the idea of having to raise it WITH someone else it's like i never liked group projects
To the people who stop tagging the photographer who took the photos of you that you post, when do you decide to stop tagging us? I know how hard it is to tag someone and give credit where it’s due, so i’m just like, wondering & stuff!!!! XD
Credit cards are so cool because you get to spend as much money as you want and then when you're done you just cut it up i think I might get a few more
The guy working at the hotel literally looked me in the eyes as i signed a paper about all of the incidentals and made sure to say "this is just saying that you definitely won't smoke in the room" like u idiot it was an edible didn't you read my fucking tweet
You ever spend hours looking in the mirror as you get ready for an event and then you get to said event and you your photo is taken and you look at it and you're like this is literally not what i looked like when i left
This is also the same people who expect their creative friends to not charge them for things but you gonna drop 300 dollars on ur dumb tickets to drake who has so much money that he probably uses bills to wipe the ass of the baby he didnt tell anyone about