kyle
@lyle__richards
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Following
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can somebody get Fergie on the phone for me he/him
Chicago, IL
Joined September 2011
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Come for the picture of my tiny son, stay for the photo of me with my hand down my underwear touchin on stuff
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@Nothing73144852
@TheLaurenChen
What about being trans and not wanting to be targetted for murder is political
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I am in fact having new glasses for those wondering and also for those who are curious and possibly have questions
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Drop your class's zoom codes and i'll show up like this and only speak in Russian when provoked
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Once a t shirt becomes a pajama shirt, it's like, hard to come back from that
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The little bottle of hand sanitizer that i thought was always at the bottom of my glove compartment was actually chick fil a sauce this whole time
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Does anyone else find it hard to be friends with people who don't know what webkinz are?
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Sometimes im the guy who wore a regular earring looking at a guy
with a fun earring thinking I should have turned it out, but sometimes im the guy with a tech deck skateboard hanging from his ear looking at a guy with a regular earring thinking.. maybe I could have toned it down
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Launching my Etsy shop today! Check it out, treat yourself, tell a friend, etc. 🤗
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In 6th grade i asked a girl to be my girlfriend over text after school and then i took a nap and woke up a few hours later to a text from her saying that, “things just aren’t working out”
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if i hear anyone even SAY "Columbus Day" tomorrow i'm gonna punch them in their nina, their pinta AND their santa maria
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I like who I am better when I am on a boat or for example when i'm watching Challengers
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Do you ever make the mistake of going to target high while wearing an impeccable outfit and then you aren't able to tell if everyone staring at you because you look good or because you're high
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was just offered falafel for lunch via my boss and turned it down because I “already brought food” ????? am i good? i have 6 triscuits in a bag
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a vegan leather jacket but the leather is vegan because it's actually fruit leather
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Who's the sociopath who brought two gallons of whole milk to this fucking work potluck
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If i am stationary in my house for more than 10 seconds the dog has to be this close to me
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Which ear is the gay ear to wear an earring in? I just want to make sure i'm making it very clear that i like to be fucked in the ass
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changed my name on here so i can be public and potentially viral but still lock down a sexy job that doesn't know how much i use the word faggot
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Hear me out.... two girls, but this time we give them both a cup
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If you live in Chicago and we have ever made eye contact these past 3 months, don't be rude and come kiss me goodbye
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2 tv's in a restaurant and one is playing friends and the other is playing big bang theory and i'm honestly eating with my eyes shut
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would any of you read my homoerotic fan fiction about lewis and clark written from the perspective of sacagawea? lmk
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you know when you’re starving so you eat two gummy vitamins and then u find out they were melatonin gummies goodbye cruel world
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Really interested in maybe just 15 minutes of relief from the constant weight of every single hurt feeling i've experienced since the age of about 18
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Not to be gay but I remember being like 12 and learning what 5 o’clock shadow was and thinking it was like so hot
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just got a text from my crush telling me he's seeing someone now and then an e-mail telling me i made it to round two of applicants for a sexy job all within 59 seconds of each other
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My dad just said "butt plug" 3 (three) times and then my mom just asked alexa if she's a republican or a democrat all within the span of about 6 minutes
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Thinking maybe it's not that i hate the idea of having a kid but it's the idea of having to raise it WITH someone else it's like i never liked group projects
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I just can't imagine there isn't a correlation between how clear my skin is and the fact that I only took 1 (one) AP class in high school
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its almost cold enough to break out that north face jacket you begged your mom to buy you in high school because not having one was social suicide
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To the people who stop tagging the photographer who took the photos of you that you post, when do you decide to stop tagging us? I know how hard it is to tag someone and give credit where it’s due, so i’m just like, wondering & stuff!!!! XD
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Y'all doing bumps at the club while I'm taking dumps at the club. We are not the same!
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Credit cards are so cool because you get to spend as much money as you want and then when you're done you just cut it up i think I might get a few more
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Really just arrived to class 45 minutes late and then left 45 minutes early.... sometimes it be like that.
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The guy working at the hotel literally looked me in the eyes as i signed a paper about all of the incidentals and made sure to say "this is just saying that you definitely won't smoke in the room" like u idiot it was an edible didn't you read my fucking tweet
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You ever spend hours looking in the mirror as you get ready for an event and then you get to said event and you your photo is taken and you look at it and you're like this is literally not what i looked like when i left
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@LakersBetta
@crazyclipsonly
Literally in Chicago but go absolutely off miss liar! U actually slayed and ate this falsehood lowkey
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I am strong and independent but like also....... need to be spooned???? 🥺🥺🥺
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This is also the same people who expect their creative friends to not charge them for things but you gonna drop 300 dollars on ur dumb tickets to drake who has so much money that he probably uses bills to wipe the ass of the baby he didnt tell anyone about
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If you know, you know, but if you don't that really sucks for you
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Thank you to the spare tire cover on the jeep in front of me on the highway for reminding me that "not all who wander are lost"
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Reminiscing on what life was like before the fire nation attacked
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If these air bags in my car ever deploy they better be vera bradley
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Photo of me wearing ridiculous white acrylic nails with the caption: "white claws 😘 💅🏼"
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If your feminism isn’t intersectional and your edible arrangements don’t have pineapple or chocolate covered strawberries count me out thanks
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Been listening to a lotta lana del rey, feeling really lana del gay
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I want to kiss (on the mouth) whoever's idea it was to make the lemon and lime juice bottles the shape, color, and size as the actual fruit
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My credit score is 761 (which critics are describing as "excellent") and my gpa is 3.93 why is no one kissing me right now
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