weird elle yankovic
@luobinghole
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🔞❗️// 24 // love is stored in the binghe // shitposts and fic on occasion // cosplay too // svsss // pfp courtesy of @2istoomany
he/him/hole
Joined December 2020
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Pinned Tweet
fuck i missed the opportunity to qrt this exactly a year later with another bingy day 😔😔 oh well, u can have it anyways
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reading fanfic isn’t enough, i need to fuck him myself
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reject modernity (tiktok edits) embrace tradition (disassociating while constructing an amv entirely in your head while listening to the same song on repeat)
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i made this for one (1) singular joke and spent way too long on it
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congrats tgcf *muffled sobbing* so happy for you guys *sniffling and whimpering continues* at least one of us is getting a season two *distant sounds of dirt getting piled over svsss donghua’s grave*
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so i used that crying filter on my sv screenshots and…
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“six balls”
“what does that mean?”
“when i was born, my pa held me and said i was six balls heavy”
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yes, it is i, peerless cucumber. who is this shen qingqiu you speak of?
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i am not immune to the wifebeam
looking through my sqq donghua screenshots and oh my god i love this man he is so stupid ugh
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look at this binghe, have you seen him? now you have.
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binghe’s to-do list:
1. kiss shizun good morning 🥰
2. prepare breakfast for shizun 🥰
3. guilt shizun into giving kissies before he leaves 🥰
4. bathe in the blood of my enemies. they will kneel at my feet or know the pain of death.
5. welcome shizun home with snacks 🥰
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every scum villain enjoyer taking about scum villain: it’s terrible. it’s bad. so very incredibly stupid. i love it so much.
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had a thought about vash never fully growing into his coat in stampede and that’s why he rolls the sleeves up cus they still give him sweater paws
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tops should whimper more. more needy desperate top representation pls
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y’all really liked this one for some reason
hopping on the bandwagon to discuss my true niche: qrt with your most iconic shitpost please
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whenever binghe gets a little rowdy and he has that look in his eye that means he’s about to slam duck some innocent bystander for looking at him in the wrong way, lqg comes up behind him, grabs the back of his neck like it’s scruff on a cat and growls in his ear, “settle”
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me flirting: so~ have you ever read the new york times best selling series the scum villains self saving system?
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how horny do you think binghe would be after finding out about sqq mourning and crying the loss of his beloved disciple when he was in the abyss
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the fact that sqh would know every sv characters kinks because he is the one who created them…. he has too much power
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i rest my case
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yknow. liu mingyan would have been one of those bingjiu truthers in the pidw forums amongst all the dudebros
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*sigh* shen yuan would do the “omg your hands are so big 😳 look at how tiny mine are compared to yours- look” thing with lqg
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binghe growing fangs and sqq telling him to open up so shizun can see, sticking his fingers in binghe’s mouth and prodding at his sensitive gums
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lqg thinking he’s making grand romantic gestures and wooing sqq when in reality he’s just staring blankly into the middle distance and not talking at all
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su xiyan looks more like a dilf than tianlang-jun does and i am very happy about this
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sobbing thinking about su xiyan, in pain and dying, holding her newborn son close to her chest and giving him one kiss on the forehead as a goodbye before placing him in a boat down the river, hopefully to find a world that would be kinder to him than it was to her
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years post-canon, when the younger generation has mostly forgotten/outgrown all the canon-era drama, some of the cang qiong mountain disciples forget binghe’s actual name and instead refer to him as “shen-shibo’s husband”
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✈️: good morning to my fans!
🥒: fuck you. i hope you keel over and die
✈️: always good to hear from my passionate followers!
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full fucking offense but no one slayed as hard as i did this day
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i wanna run him a warm bath and give him a face mask and a back massage and eat him out and brush his hair and put it up in a nice braid and tuck him into bed
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demisexual lqg not wanting to admit he’s sexually attracted to binghe bc that means he’s formed an emotional attachment to him
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binghe wants to be submissive and breedable so bad but he comes off as terrifying and violent
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sqq saying fuck and tightening up when he gets called wife while binghe is balls deep in him makes me feel very normal things
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just reminded myself that sqh caught mbj from a free fall with no help. mbj is 188 centimeters of solid muscle… sqh is STRONG strong
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shen yuan the second he transmigrated and saw binghe
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bitches be like “i hate airplane shooting towards the sky!!!1!1!11!!” and then fall in love with and marry his self insert oc
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shen yuan isn’t homophobic, per say, just that he forgets that gay people can exist which is also coincidently why he forgot that he too can be a gay people
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lbh: *literally just sitting there*
sqq: i desire him carnally
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shen yuan would take reverse transmigrated binghe to a mcdonald’s and he would get stuck up in the play place and have to get shen yuan to come help him find the way down
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if lqg were deaf, he would respond to any “we need to talk” conversation by signing no and closing his eyes
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sqh: being gay isn’t a choice. i will make you gay 😇
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postcanon father-son bonding where binghe starts getting more comfortable around his him, and tianlang-jun will just sit back and watch him talk with this small satisfied smile on his face
once, tianlang-jun gave a little chuckle and said, “ah.. your mother would have loved you”
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why are you, as a man, the bai zhan peak war god? to get thrown around by other men? to be held down in the heat of battle with a blade pressed to your neck as your vision goes blurry because he’s cutting off your airways?
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sqq does the “fufufu” laugh from behind his fan and somehow his wifebeam gets even stronger than it already was
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sqq: my most beloved disciple, luo binghe, just fell into the abyss and perished 😔
lqg: lol
sqq:
lqg: …….lots of love
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*holding zhuzhi-lang in my hands* haters will say he has “murderous tendencies” and that he “killed a man in cold blood” and “oh my god he’s poisonous put him down!!” but i know better. he’s just babie. he could never do anything wrong even if he tried
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scum villain au where everything is the same except sqh outs himself as a transmigrator because he used slang instead of saying fuck
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tianlang-jun is not the big bad of svsss, he’s just a funky little guy who wants to read porn and be loved
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lbh: you fucked lqg???? what the fuck dad???
tlj: ……i mean technically he fucked me if that makes things any better-
lbh: WHY WOULD THAT MAKE THINGS BETTER???
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EITHER SQH IS GOD, OR COULD KILL GOD AND I DO NOT CARE IF THERE IS A DIFFERENCE
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shen yuan is the type of guy to be texting his “bro” while he’s laying in bed on his elbows and swinging his feet back and forth while smiling like a damn fool and still maintain that he is Straight and they are Just Bros
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shen yuan: this drink is starting to taste a lot like i should makeout with my friends
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liu qingge is little shirt big pants gay
shen qingqiu is big shirt little pants gay
luo binghe is little shirt little pants gay
shang qinghua is big shirt big pants gay
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binghe keeps buttoning up less and less of his shirt buttons with the hope that shen yuan will either fret over him and button them back up, or (ideally) slide his hand in the open front and grab a tiddy
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sqh: i don’t understand why you were so shocked to learn that binghe’s submissive. he’s the demon lord- it’s his job to be domineering, of course he wants to be slapped around in bed
sqq:
sqh: yknow… like how CEO’s are notorious for being submissive in bed?
sqq: they WHAT-
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pls picture binghe up at the very top of one of these bad boys banging on the clear plastic dome, big fat tears in his eyes yelling “SHIZUN IM STUCK”
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binghe is visiting mobei-jun up in the north, and it’s turned into quite an intensive stay- longer than any of them expected. binghe borrows some of mbj’s clothes to stay warm
this all comes to a screeching halt when sqh, mistaking binghe for dawang, slaps binghe’s ass
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lbh: thanks dad
sqh: w-what? what did you just call me?
lbh: oh, it was an accident-
sqh: MY SON!! DADDY LOVES YOU SO MUCH!! I KNOW I HAVEN’T BEEN THERE FOR YOU SO FAR becauseyoulowkeyscareme BUT I SWEAR I’LL MAKE UP FOR IT!!
lbh: …w h a t ?
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lbh: shishu, i want you to be loud when i fuck you
lqg: you’re loud enough for the both of us
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y’all remember how binghe offered to bottom during bingqiu’s (second) first time, and was about to lay down, and in sqq’s own words binghe would “be elated” even if sqq made him bleed? yeah
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✈️: do you ever shut up?
🥒: evidently not. now back to what i was saying-
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why must god give his most non-binary of soldiers his most boobiest of breasts like pls i am not in need of this much bahonkers it’s actually an active inconvenience to be titting this tittily smh
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does lqg even know that he’s in love with sqq or is he just kinda like, “he’s my favorite person, i dunno” about it
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but also, sqq would be so mad that people don’t know binghe’s name- HIS BINGHE??? THEY DON’T KNOW OF THE ULTIMATE PROTAGONIST???? this is unacceptable and unforgivable behavior smh
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we as a society moved on way too fast from this tianlang-jun for my liking
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