Jessie McLaughlin 🌝✨💫
@losfamgeles
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*EXERCISING MY AGENCY* My dog’s favorite. Interiors of spaces and people. Therapy stan. Have feelings; will overshare. Trying not to embarrass my kids. She/her
Los Angeles
Joined November 2014
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To Roger from Louisburg, NC, who got his own air pump out of his van to help me when my rental car tire was at 15psi and the gas station air machine was broken, who made small talk for 10 min while it filled, gave zero creepy vibes, and was just an overall good guy:
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I hope your pillow is cool on both sides
I hope somebody bakes you your favorite cake
I hope your kindness comes back to you “a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over”
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17 years later. I got highlights and he got hair
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Him: we gotta take a .5 like the kids are doing
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There’s was no way to know the powerful hair potential this man’s genes held when I married him. It was simply a lucky surprise. Happy Father’s Day to the best dad ever,
@rhettmc
.
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I may regret this in the morning when I wake up with renewed self control, but that ain’t now.
Christians-I’m talking to you. If someone goes through the grueling process of leaving the faith that they committed their lives to, the one in which they found purpose and meaning
1/7
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Made my husband tag along with me to a furniture manufacturer and he pulled a “Well, everybody’s a KITTEN person!”
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I was in a wedding a few weeks ago which means we got a rare family pic! Happy turkey day from the McLaughlins🦃
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Just saw a guy carry his girlfriend from the ocean to her towel because she didn’t want to get her feet sandy and my husband is gonna hear about this
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After 19 years of marriage, found out that my husband is “not really a fan” of sweet potatoes, at dinner, while eating sweet potatoes. He’s eaten every animal testicle out there but potatoes that are sweet is where he draws the line??
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Me: (barefoot, hugs my husband)
Rhett: (looks down at me) Is that really how tall you are? Are you standing up?
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Rhett just woke up from what I thought was deep sleep and told me 2 things
-He read in our coffee maker manual that it’s bad to put coffee grounds in it when it’s off
-We need to call “an arborist” for the dying tree in our yard
Then he just rolled over and went back to sleep
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HBD to a guy who’s larger than life, who remains open and vulnerable even though hotel showers never fit him. Love you,
@rhettmc
.
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@NellFrizzell
Getting to grow and change together. And the history. He knows the college freshman me, the pregnant and breastfeeding me, the me who decided to go to therapy mid-life, and the me who peer-pressured him into it. This weekend we moved our oldest into college. Full circle.
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Not to make this about me or anything, but I had a hunch at 20 when I married him that he would be an incredible dad. I just didn’t realize how incredible. Happy Father’s Day
@rhettmc
.
📸 by
@allisonwalton
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My kid told me he is $400,000 IN DEBT in Animal Crossing and I’m about to call up Scrooge McDuck myself and give him a piece of mind
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This dude just texted me, “I like the plastic cups you bought”
Is he flirting with me or am I reading too much into this?
Granted, we’ve been married for almost 20 years, but still, it feels flirty
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People in my house really wake up choose violence
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“Can we go to Barbenheimer, Mom?”
Me, “We have Barbenheimer at home.”
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But from all my years hanging with Jesus I got the feeling he was into seeing people and you know, humanizing them. It would just be cool if many of those who claim him did the same.
7/7
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Wearing my mask because of Delta and also this absolute unit of a zit on my chin
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Sometimes a happy thing happens, but I have to wait patiently to talk about it it until my husband goes on this internet show with his best friend since first grade and shares it there first. These terms weren’t in the prenup, but I’m flexible. Tomorrow is one of those days!
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Husband just called dog his “brown-eyed girl.” I also have brown eyes
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@Mythical
This is what happens when you marry a guy who thinks he’s got jokes. You open Twitter and find this. Some of y’all still have time. That quiet guy who has no personality and won’t try any new food? That’s the guy for you. Trust me on this
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It was right there all along, but 21 years into our marriage husband just called me “short stuff” for the first time.
I liked it a little bit
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I know we’re late to the game, but Rhett and I are on vacation and are gonna try soaking tonight. I’ll let you know if we’re still virgins when we’re done
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Getting ready to break the seal on being on ear biscuits with the super casual and impersonal topic of SEX. No biggie!!! I’m totally chill and def not gonna vomit
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If someone makes that decision, it is one of the most painful and courageous decisions a person can make. To assume that it was arrived at flippantly and could be reversed by simply reading a book you recommend or listening to a theology podcast is obtuse and offensive.
3/7
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I should have entitled these “Portraits of a Very Big Man in a Small Airbnb”
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I’ve been married to
@rhettmc
for 22 years, and I’m pretty happy about it. 🥂
Photographed by
@jeremiahjw
for the Sunbeam Vintage reopening
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One of Locke’s friends walked in the house unexpectedly the other night and greeted Rhett with a very serious and respectful, “Hello Mr. McLaughlin.” It was extra ridiculous b/c Rhett was standing in the kitchen soaking wet (post hot tub) in his underwear
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One thing people don’t talk about enough is the marital strife that occurs when a tall, hurried man and a short, unhurried woman try to go on a little walk
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Last week we were in NC at the beach, it was the golden hour, and I forced Rhett to take selfies with me
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Sometimes I think about the constellation of events that had to happen to allow me to leave evangelicalism. It was a lot. For 30 years it was the air I breathed. I never would have had the courage to walk away if my husband had not gone first. 1/6
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The process of leaving our faith took years. It was harrowing. A person doesn’t upend their whole world view for shits and giggles. While assuming they do might make it easier for you to put ‘em in a box, it doesn’t make it true.
5/7
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I haven’t talked to my husband yet but I can guarantee he’s not okay😭
While we’re all waiting, let’s play heads up seven up/who touched my thumb
#goodmythicalevening
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Sometimes Rhett makes me listen to Christians on YouTube doing “takedowns” of him, and he just laughs the whole time and is incredibly entertained like he’s having so much fun. I yell things at the screen and cuss like somebody who learned to cuss at 30
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I’ve officially celebrated half of the birthdays in his life with him, and it just keeps gettin’ better. Grateful we’re still growing/glowing up together,
@rhettmc
.💖
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In a baby voice “I just wanna be with you all the time. I love you so much, my furry lady. I just can’t get enough.” *kisskiss*
-things my husband says to my dog that I wish he’d say to me
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My kid wakes up at a noon with wild bed head and immediately gets on a conference call with his buddies talking about important moves they’re making in Roblox like he’s running some kind of shady Silicon Valley startup
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I know this is so 2 months ago but our new mail carrier is falling asleep on the job. Also, she wanted me to remind you that, instead of voting by mail, it’s now best to vote in person or by putting your ballot in a drop box or dropping it off at a vote center!!
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We have construction going on at our house, and I asked one of the guys if he had seen my dog. Him: Your son took the dog
Me: My Son????
Him: Yeah the tall one with the yellow sweater
Me: Uhhhh…You mean my HUSBAND?
Him: oh yeah I guess
I fired the dude on the spot
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He yelled for help. I found him outside like this and okay I made him stand there while I took pictures first. Having Thor’s golden flax locks isn’t all fun and games
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The hours my husband spent pouring over books in defense of the worldview he already had cannot be numbered. But the evidence did not hold up. He brought question after question to pastor after pastor, & they had no answers. He begged God for more faith, but only got reason.
4/7
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My son just asked me if we had a milkman when I was little
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He’s very into online poker right now. Just said out loud “I’ll bet the full pot” then called another player a “scaredy cat”
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I found him in the hall putting a blanket on her and kissing her. She did not mind.
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If you’re back home in NC on your 41st birthday you can make your husband walk around your alma mater (which is his alma mater’s rival) with you. It’s a little known birthday perk.🐏
#GoTarheels
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You can call him or me an “apostate” if that makes you feel separate and safe—if that allows you to dehumanize us and anyone else who can’t continue to live with the cognitive dissonance certain religions require.
6/7
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His bday dinner request: KFC and a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake🥺
How many times do I have to tell y’all that California has NOT changed me?
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The groomer put a butterfly bow in my dog’s hair and this is everything I have ever wanted. I also got this accidentally terrifying pic of her mid bark
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Barbara: sitting there
Rhett: making a sandwich,
“Barbara, this is a big, big sandwich for a big, big man”
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My other guy, the oldest McLaughlin, Rhett (on his bday) 🖤
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Me:
Rhett: You know if I got in a fight my hair would be a liability
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the one that consumed their thoughts, their prayers, influenced every action, the faith that shaped them and made them who they are, the faith in which they found salvation (by grace alone through faith alone in case anyone wants to be pedantic)—
2/7
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Me to my husband: “Have you heard about the bed bug situation in Paris?!”
My husband: “Yes. 3 times. From you.”
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Granted, I’ve been out of town for a few weeks and I’m missing him bad, but y’all, look at how handsome
@rhettmc
is. Oh yeah and the show is gonna be cool. You should watch it
Friends and
@Mythical
stars
@rhettmc
and
@LinkNeal
are going behind closed doors and into secret test kitchens and research centers of America’s favorite foods!
#InsideEats
with Rhett & Link premieres Sunday, April 24 at 10:30|9:30c. Stream it the same day on discovery+.
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Today I told my therapist how ANGRY I was and he suggested that underneath the anger was sadness and I told him “Nah I’m ANGRY!” And then I started crying and told him how sad I was. He played me.
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I was FaceTiming with
@rhettmc
when I woke up this morning and he said my bedhead made me look like somebody from Cats. I don’t see the resemblance.
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In our house today various family members have fallen off of a stool, spilled a whole coffee, and shattered a brand new extra-large wall mirror. I think the energy in our house is broken. Do I need to sacrifice an animal? I will only do it if I can use a stuffed one
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If I was BIG MAD about something that would make life demonstrably better for 20 million people, I would just not tweet about it, cause that’s embarrassing
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@rhettmc
That’s funny cause you looked like a little pink baby mouse new from the womb when you walked into the kitchen this morning
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Introduced Rhett to claw clips this morning and I have changed this man’s life
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Happy Father’s Day to my husband who just realized the headache he can’t get rid of is called “ponytail headache.” It’s a little known side effect of having a baby man bun.🥴His heart is tender but his head is tenderer
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Haven’t been on the dating scene for 20 yrs, but ice cream seems like an A+ first date.
@rhettmc
and I were young & broke, but I’ll never forget our Super Kmart date. My friend worked the security cameras, called us to the back, & gave us the footage of our flirting in the aisles
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Hey I just want to remind you that nobody else has it figured out either
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My husband has discovered that if he’s wearing something especially heinous (a tank top with a fiery lion roaring) but still wants my approval, he asks me what I think and mid-answer interrupts me with “It’s in my heart to wear this.” 😐
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Me: Hi I’m Jessie
Person I just met: Where are you from?
Me: North Carolina
Person I just met: (elevated, mocking voice)
Naw-erth Kay-ro-laaaa-nuhhh (laughs at how clever she is)
Me: (smiles politely and pities this poor soul who clearly hails from the state of Bitchville)
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Found out my dad is telling people, “I look good for 84, huh?!”
He’s 67.
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I don’t talk much about my interior design work on here but this piece is special to me! The ShaSha sofa (named after my sister) is a custom pull-out couch that’s unique b/c it actually looks like a bed when it pulls out. Taking orders on my website now🌺
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Why did I get Sunkist Fruit Bites in my box of tile samples??
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16 year old just used the term “intellectual masturbation” so I feel like he’s gonna be okay
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Most days now I feel more at peace than any other time in my life. I’ve had a lot of therapy. I’ve processed and let go of a lot of anger. But occasionally, I still get mad as hell at the pain and trauma evangelicalism has caused. Today is one of those days.
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In therapy today I had to talk to my inner child. It’s seems kind of like bullshit until you start crying and realize that the little version of you, your beginning, didn’t just disappear. She’s still in there.
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At least I have one picture from last night where my mouth isn’t wide open🥴
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Man: grows out hair and discovers it resembles the thick, curl-laden, golden-flax locks of Thor
Also man: “Ugh I’ll prob buzz it”
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Rhett just found this old video of our kids wishing my dad a happy birthday and I can’t take it. Their little voices😩😭
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