James
@loficounselor
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(he/him) a little edge to take the something off
Chicago, IL
Joined May 2012
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Today is the start of
#BiWeek
inside of
#HispanicHeritageMonth
Being Bisexual and Mexican means that my powers are at their peak starting now. 🩷💜💙 🇲🇽
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Got one haircut and all of a sudden I'm having a Sunday Funday
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Smiling through the pain (being stuck for 5 hours at an Iowa airport)
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In honor of Cinco de Mayo, I will be defending myself from all things French (so business as usual)
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Moved a couch, a table, and my ass up and down some stairs all day
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Hungover at Costco and was offered a Liquid IV free sample. Maybe there is a g*d.
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It's been an annoying day of work, but at least I got my hairs cut.
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Reunited with the bestie for the Town Square Christmas Festival of Lights Christmas Tree Decorating Contest Finalist Extravaganza Gala
@DavidADC
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In Chicago this weekend to answer the age old question:
"Should we do a little key?
Should we have a little line?"
(We're in line to pick up the key to our new apartment)
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✅ Job offer in Chicago
✅ Caleb Williams to the Bears
✅ Charli XCX tickets for September
It's all coming up Chi-town this week, boys
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I'm returning the favor today by teaching him how to work from home
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There's a guy at my gym who's trying to convince me to join his rugby league. He's gonna need to make it sound A LOT more homoerotic before I'll consider it.
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Happy Pride Month!
Being bisexual means being hungover at your boyfriend's lesbian moms house.
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POV: I'm your telehealth therapist. You can tell I'm overworked but I do genuinely care.
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Living alone is chill because you can never get too mad at the little mistakes. Who didn't fill up the Brita? Oh it was me again, it's cool.
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Me: what a beautiful, warm, and sunny day
Me to me: isn't this an effect of global warming tho?
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When it's snowing and work has been hard and you're running out of time to buy Christmas gifts:
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"Do you think people in culinary school have to lift up their hats to prove there's no rats up there while they take tests?"
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Wearing my Sweat Tour merch at the airport. Might as well be wrapped in a Pride flag with the way specific people are giving me eyes.
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Move out prayer:
Our Clorox Wipes
Who art in cabinet
Bleached be thy surface
Thy cleaning come
Thy will be done
On toilets as it is on sinks
Give me this money
This amount of money
That my landlord is holding ransom
Amen.
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Haunted House Idea:
A room full of people telling you why they're voting for Donald Trump.
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May has been going well so far, but the mustache ~May~ not make it to the summer
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One thing about me is I'm never an early bird, but I always get that worm
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I hate to be bringing the vibe down in this sports bar right now, but please give me my to-go wings so I can leave
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My biggest flaw? I turn into an absolute monster when I'm hungry. Just caught myself saying "I'm not mad, I'm just hungry"
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I went to work sick wearing a wool wrap that I bought in Albuquerque last year. So all day, all of my clients were just looking at this:
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People who call their significant other their "partner" are legally required to greet them with "howdy".
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They're closing my gym at the end of the month. Y'all want anything?
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It's cool how in Iowa, by law, you have to dry smile back at someone who dry smiles at you.
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#NewProfilePic
Oh and it's Bi visibility day, so that's why you're seeing me
#BiVisibilityDay
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Personal ethnic aesthetic:
Fiesta on the inside, suburban barbecue on the outside.
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I've decided to come out... as someone who used to wear "ironic" T-shirts in high school.
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The clarity with which Iowans live. We know EXACTLY where we are with very little doubt. All that said, I would like to leave please.
Results! In these states, this percentage of people believe they are in the Midwest. Chew on these results while we crunch the data down to the zip code level and get granular. What parts of these Midwestern states do you think will shade less Midwestern? All input welcome
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I'm at brunch with bottomless mimosas and they're playing all the indie acoustic songs from my youth. How am I supposed to not cry???
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I might go watch the West Borough Baptist church when they protest in the QC. Just in case I need to make friends if I ever go to Hell.
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My clothes are not "wrinkled". They are adding much needed texture to my outfit.
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Krispy Kreme should have Dunkin Donuts level of success, and I will stay mad about that.
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Eating an airhead does fulfill a primal need to chew and swallow plastic
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My roommate literally just gets straight outta bed grabs his stuff for class and leaves. Like, don't you...?
didn't you want..?
wat
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I drank some water and realized I hadnt watered my plants. So, I spit some water onto my plants, and I think thats why I'll never have kids.
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Being an adult is just "we got food at home"-ing yourself everyday
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It's my last few weeks with this apartment. Let's hope I never pay rent this high ever again. Hmu if you want some really old (free) furniture.
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A bag of granola keeps falling off my coffee table, and in my head, I know it's because of an open window. But in my heart, I want it to be a ghost who just fucking hates granola.
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If I have to watch the same Big Bang Theory clip in one more psych class, I'm going to switch majors.
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I just got hired as a dog walker, so 2017 is looking up AS FUCK.
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My favorite part of traveling is packing one (1) book that I will never open or even look at.
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I ran 15 miles this weekend, and all I got was a silly little medal.
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Tip for dog owners:
Keep your dogs on a leash, or I will take them from you, and you will never see them again.
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[Watching the movie IT]
Marcus: *sees a rat in IT's house* "oh that's IT's chef"
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Listen up moms,
You giving me food to take home in a tupperware container? You're never seeing that thing again.
Love, your charming holiday guest
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[walking out of Hyvee with a cart full of groceries]
Worker: sir, you have to pay for those-
Me: I said trick or treat, DID I NOT???
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*record scratch*
*freeze frame*
Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.
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It's pretty rude that the rats in my walls don't pay rent. Unless they're radical anarchist rats who don't believe in money, then it's ok ig
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BHS: Here are your new lockers!
Students: These are our old lockers.
BHS: No, they have that new locker smell
Students: It smells like lies
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Coming down with a head cold just days before Christmas. This is not very sleigh.
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You guys better watch out. I'm putting together diplomas in the main office today. It would be a shame if yours were to be... lost...
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I'm sorry, but the Cubs winning a world series makes me trust 2016 even less.
wtf other kinds of unbelieve shit is going to happen now?
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*reading an article about the health benefits of a vegan diet*
Hmm, maybe I'll add more beans to my diet.
*article tells me I'm literally Satan incarnate for consuming meat*
Well, time to eat a bacon cheeseburger and apply for a hunting license I guess
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Not to flex my brain muscle too hard, but I am very excited and proud to say that I got a TA position this semester! I'm teaching 4 sections of psych 101 (and getting paid for it?!?)
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It sucks working in this weather cuz every dog that I take out looks at me like, 'we really doing this right now, it's raining, dumbass'
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Whoever made Ratatouille (2007) literally read "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" and thought, 'hmm but what if the rat were French?'.
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I'm gonna miss a lot of people while I'm up at school, but I'll miss this guy the most.
http://t.co/hkVS0Lunzw
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About to give a very important presentation about a very serious topic with a massive hickey on my neck.
Nice.
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For Halloween, I'm dressing up as my landlord who ghosts me every time I put in a service request.
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Sometimes I see small children running around campus. Like, what are you doing? Get outta here. Go get a vaccination or something, idk.
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Very funny of me to get strep throat, a sinus infection, and then COVID. Multitalented some have said. A triple threat others have said.
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There's a greyhound adoption meet and greet event at PETCO on Sunday. I need someone physically stronger than me to come with to stop me.
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