giri 🍙
@lesbianiwaoi
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iwaoi connoisseur and occasional writer, sometimes nsfw | pfp @xunvol | header @pegbyy
they/them - 21+ - minors DNI
Joined September 2018
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#IWAOI
: HIPS DON’T LIE
Rated E / oiiwa, pathetic iwachan, very hot and sexy oikawa, friends to lovers
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⛓️💥 link and tags in reply!
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imagine if ficwriters did like. livestreams of their creative process. u just sit there and watch the cursor blink for 20 minutes and then the author like changes one word and ends the stream
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toxic men are like "why can't you be skinny? why can't you be pretty?" motherfucker why can't you be iwaizumi hajime from haikyuu?
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oikawa telling ca san juan about his cutieful boyfriend iwachan who loves making him lunches and buying him chocolates and they envision some gentle twink hipster and outcomes a hunk with the meanest mug this side of the pacific
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heard my babygirl is getting mischaracterised again… tooru get behind me
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oikawa has iwaizumi saved as “iwachaaaan~~ (*´ー｀*)“ in his phone and iwaizumi has oikawa saved as “oikawa tooru (school)”
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do u guys know how many customer feedback surveys i submitted requesting haikyuu UTs when i worked there. for 2.5 years once a week id submit a haikyuu request acting like a customer asked for it
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ao3 needs line by line comments like wattpad i need to scream at authors for every single perfect line they write
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lesbian: *is sad*
iwaizumi hajime (27) athletic trainer from haikyuu : *wakes up in a cold sweat at 4am* somethings not right...
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this should have been a 10 episode season…. girl. no way
"HAIKYU!! The Dumpster Battle" is listed with a runtime of 1 HOUR 24 MINUTES.
The Anime Film has wrapped up production recently.
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utterly fascinating take when u consider the state of censorship rn with conservatives trying to legislate what is and isn’t appropriate and constantly changing the goalposts to fit their decrepit, outdated beliefs. the moment you start banning anything on ao3, you open it up+
ao3 is an objectively bad site with no censorship and i do agree there are lots of bad fics on there. but that’s why i don’t go onto fic sites expecting every author to be writing bestsellers. it is not goodreads authors are not posting for reviews and praise. they are archives.
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never forget that akaashi keiji threw the first “oya” in third gym
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for anyone waiting on me to expand on a tweet in fic form. i am so sorry
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oikawa tooru has a wife? congratulations iwachan on your transition 💞💞
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it breaks my heart (in a good way) that the fandom collectively understands oikawa’s growth from an insecure teenager to a fully realised, calm and secure adult who has nothing but empathy, love and kindness for his younger self
+
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Furudate Never Wrote Inarizaki v Seijoh Because Dealing With TWO sets of Physically And Mentally Linked Pairs Across the Net Is Too Much: And Other Projections I have Of Their Interactions; a thread and essay by twitter user lesbiniwaoi
just curious, but what is one Haikyuu match you wish we could have gotten but never did?
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seijoh fucks me up so bad u have the most apeshit buckwild team in haikyuu and they’re dressed in lavender and beige plaid i can’t do this i’m gonna need to go on a sabbatical
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oikawa sends iwaizumi lewd after lewd while he’s in the office and iwaizumi rushes home early only to find oikawa with a headband and face mask on watching dramas on the couch and just drops himself onto the sofa and screams +
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"toto i thought you said he was cute and sweet looking?" "yeah he is? look at that pout" "toto that man looks like hes about to punch through a wall"
but then they see how iwachan laughs at tooru's jokes and suddenly it all makes sense
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oikawa learns at 20 that the only thing worse than an obliviously handsome iwaizumi is a self aware handsome iwaizumi because now he’s using his looks and boyish charm for evil (convincing tooru to stay in bed for 15 more minutes bc it’s warm)
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toto: well you see iwachan has a bad resting bitch face but i promise he is the prettiest person ever :)
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AND I WAS RIGHT!
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oikawa bragging about how good he is at sex and how ppl always message him that they’re thinking of him and iwaizumi snapping one day and going “WHAT is the big fuckin deal about your dick” and then around walking with a little limp the next day
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MIYA ATSUMU AND SAKUSA KIYOOMI?!
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iwaizumi talking about his cat like she’s his real human daughter and convincing like half of his fellow uni friends thst he’s a single dad without realising that he’s done that
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i’ve been riding oikawa’s dick for the last three years i need everyone who’s “coming back” to haikyuu to step BACK
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iwaizumi who’s a meanie but only in words. oikawa will be like “iwachan can u pass me the salt” and he’ll IMMEDIATELY reply with “no” while handing the salt shaker over
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iwaizumi (27) doing bicep curls with the two kittens he and tooru adopted… they’re sooo tiny in his hands and they weigh nothing but it makes tooru laugh and the kitties enjoy it too, so every morning he starts off his workout routine with that :)
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the quotes and replies on this one were so fuckin funny
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fic writers will b like "sorry this is bad!!" and then give u the singlemost moving piece of prose you've ever read in your life that leaves u contempalting ur place and signficance in the universe all the while apologising in the endnotes for it being unedited
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buzzfeed jpn features the JNT for a kitten interview and then posts a separate kitten interview with iwaizumi hajime (27) athletic trainer because people kept requesting the hot trainer dude get his own episode +
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oikawa really went off the rails after losing to karasuno huh
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iwaizumi: what if i turned into a worm. would u love me still
oikawa: i would build a little terrarium for u and carry u everywhere with me of course iwachan what sort of question….
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happy pride month but more importantly HAPPY IWACHAN MONTH!!!!!
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vampires iwaoi who have been married since the 1600s and are just like. so sick of each other but like in a funny way...
iwa: tooru STOP HOGGING THE COFFIN
oikawa: no. mine
iwa: YOUVE BEEN A COFFIN HOG FOR THE PAST 300 YEARS STOP IT
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iwaoi, 21, newly dating
oikawa: i was thinking when we get a cat together we can name it mothra
iwaizumi, brain freeze: when we. when we. whe-. when we get. when we. cat. together? he wants to get. a cat with me. when we- [electric fizzing noises]
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iwachan: you look nice today
oikawa: wtf.. 😖 ew 🥴 do you l-like me or something 🤢
iwachan: yes, boyfriend of 3 years, best friend of many, i like you,
oikawa: freak!!! freak!
iwachan:
oikawa: thanks babe
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Another thing I want to add to this excellent tweet and convo is the infuriating conflation a lot of people against the premise of ao3 make. The rebuttal is often "you're saying queer art is pedophilic!!" and its like... no. the people who are censoring are saying that. +
Removing tags will only make the content unable to be filtered.
Ao3 is an ARCHIVE founded explicitly against ANY censorship. It was formed after writers saw how quickly other sites devolved from, “We just want to ban the problematic fics,” into mass targeting of queer art.
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iwaizumi goes viral on tiktok because his uci mates made him try crushing a watermelon with his thighs and he did it in less than 5 seconds
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oikawa: hel-
iwaizumi: WHERE is the video of you coming with sound on
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witch oikawa accidentally turning his werewolf boyfriend into a miniature and then carrying little puppy iwachan around in his pocket until he can figure out how to reverse the spell
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iwaizumi adopts an orange cat and suddenly oikawa stops waking up to cute “take care of yourself. have a good day” messages to just uncaptioned photos and videos of the orange demon wreaking absolute havoc around iwachan’s apartment
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hate that oikawa tooru gets big brown baby cow eyes AND pretty eyelashes. pick one!!!!! you don’t get to have both that’s UNFAIR
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iwaizumi gets buff and beefy before oikawa in hs and one night when they’re cuddling (they’re besties it’s not homo), oikawa is wheezing and fighting for his life over the weight of iwachan’s arm laid on his stomach
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oikawa goes on a date to the newly opened cat cafe with a girl from his physics courses and ends up falling for the cute barista who’s wrangling kittens instead… he goes back a few days later just to talk to him, and finds out that iwachan goes to the same uni as him:3
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iwaizumi groaning and moaning every time he goes out with oikawa to a bar because tooru ALWAYS get ID’d even though he’s 26 and that means hajime has to get ID’d too
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iwaizumi taking a volleyball to the head in third year bc oikawa was wiping his forehead with his shirt and he saw tummy and his brain blanked out totally
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hajime comes home late from work one night to find oikawa on the couch half asleep in one of his tattered godzilla sleep shirts; mile-long legs stretched out over the sofa, ugly headband pushing his fringe off his face and revealing his giant forehead. +
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iwaoi’s mums teasing their sons b/c they want them to get MARRIED, god they’ve been watching hajime and tooru have pretend weddings since they were 4, it’s high time they make it happen for real at 21 and put them both out of their misery
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seijoh4 have 5 groupchats:
- main with all of them
- M, H, I: mostly dead quite unless they’re planning for tooru bday
- M, H, O: a lot of thirsting over iwachan
- M, O, I: needling matsukawa abt his crush on hiro
- H, O, I: needling hiro abt his crush on matsukawa
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hajime jokingly slaps tooru’s ass and has a breakdown when he feels it jiggle under his palm
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iwaizumi (22) has a monthly night just for himself where he smokes up a fat joint and gives his cat a healthy amount of catnip. together, they zen out for a few hours,
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iwaoi (newly dating) and hajime is taking every opportunity possible to hold tooru’s waist because he’s wanted to for SO LONG and now they’re boyfriends and he can hold his boyfriend to his hearts content
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oikawa adding "my boyfriend" after every mention of iwaizumis name even though the people who hes talking to are very clearly and painstakingly aware that iwaoi are together
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oikawa calling iwaizumi ‘baby’ offhandedly in conversation and watching how iwaizumi immediately goes quiet and starts looking a little red (he stores the information away and uses it for evil)
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happy birthday iwaizumi i love you!!!!!! happy international iwaizumi iwachan hajime day everyone!!!!
#iwaizumiday
#iwaizumihajime
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iwaizumi hajime is the only man good enough for oikawa becuase he loved oikawa even when he was 13 and had braces and when he was 15 and pimply and 17 and bone tired and 21 and exuberant and 26 and far away from him and 29 and in his arms
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do u think hajime watches his dad kiss his mother on the forehead every night and starts doing that to tooru too...
haji, 7 years old: [kisses tooru forehead]
tooru: iwachan?
haji: dad says he does it to mum because he is thankful for her
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oikawa: were you expecting something?
iwachan: yeah hole
oikawa: you’re so fucking crass what the hell
iwachan: i left work early for you!!! 🤒🤕
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ushijima while he’s high: satori. satori. why are we gender
tendou: do you mean.. why does gender exist??
ushijima: this is stupid. i don’t wanna be a boy
tendou: ok then don’t
ushijima, 2 days later: please use he/they for me
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ppl trying to rage bait by dissing on iwaoi is so funny bc of all ships to pick…. u chose the one with some of the most ridiculous canon homosexual subtext? be serious
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iwaizumi traveling for work and immediately facetiming tooru when he gets back to his room and before he even says hello he says “show me my baby” and tooru sighs and flips the camera around to show their 13 year old cat who has started purring at the sound of hajime’s voice
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oikawa tries to avoid iwaizumi while he's having his gay crisis over how attractive his best friend is and iwaizumi thinks oikawa hates him and goes ballistic and buys him half a bakery to beg for his love (they are both incapable of reacting proportionately to their feelings)
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iwaizumi is usually stoic but sometimes he’ll send oikawa a picture of two cats captioned “this is us” and oikawa will get so giddy that he walks into walls and trips on pavement
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4 year old iwaizumi introducing himself as iwachan hajime because iwachan is what oikawa calls him and hajime is what his parents call him and he Knows there’s an iwa in their family name…. so he tells everyone at preschool that his name is iwachan hajime when they ask :)
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some poor girl at uni calls iwaizumi “iwa-chan” and oikawa happens to overhear and throws himself at hajime yelling “iwa-chaaaan i missed my grumpy boyfriend soooo much!!!” while giving the girl the finger behind hajime’s back 😭
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both of iwaoi’s mums give their respective son a shovel talk about treating the other right. iwamum is shaking her fist at hajime making him promise that he never makes tooru sad and oikawamum is shaking tooru by the shoulders to tell him to not worry hajime EVER
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oikawa dad who calls their cat fat (and she is) and iwaizumi dad who shields her and tells her that oikawa is mean and that she’s just slightly round and cute
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AITA for saying i love godzilla more than my husband?
i (25M) have been best friends with my husband (25M) since childhood. we’ve always done everything together. i have adhd and i’ve had a pretty strong hyperfixation on godzilla since i was 8, and my husband knows this. +
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once oikawa takes the face mask off and fixes his hair up he does indulge in what iwachan wants. he can only tease so much before his patience wears thin :’)
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iwaizumi drops a citation mid-sentence while talking to ushijima about the best and most recent methodologies to treat common injuries in athletes and ushijima has to excuse himself because of his instant throbbing boner
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iwaizumi cries the day he notices that oikawahas crows feet around his eyes because it sinks in, like it does every few years, that he's had the joy and honour of seeing oikawa grow, and has the pleasure of growing right by his side, with him
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iwaoi (26) take photos in a photobooth for nostalgias sake and tooru is all into it posing and stuff and at the end, the photos print and tooru just starts sobbing bc on each of the four panels of the photo, hajime is holding a paper pad up that reads “will” “you” “marry” “me”
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to banning other things. who decides what is banned? who decides what deserves censorship? whether or not you personally morally agree with the content hosted on ao3, any amount of censorship is incredibly detrimental to any sort of free expression in this space. be so serious.+
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all the haikyuu captains are so fucking perfect because you can ship any one of them with each other and it’ll make perfect sense
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kuroken?!!! 😭
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oikawa is all coy about it and keeps asking “what’s wrong” and hajime is a mess of “you- what the hell- when-“
and oikawa just has a good laugh because even after 4 years of dating, he still has iwachan wrapped around his finger
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iwaizumi gets drunk at a club and sends oikawa thirsttraps bc hes head empty and passes out when he gets home and misses oikawas 6 am meltdown. oikawa gets up to go on his morning run but instead spends the time jerking off to his best friend with his tank top held up w his teeth
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#iwaoi
| getting together
uni iwaoi realize theyre dating when oikawa is looking for his favorite sweater and finds it tucked away in iwachan’s closet, only to find about 50% of his clothes There Too. theyve literally been wearing each others clothes for the last year and half +
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Furudate Never Wrote Nekoma v Seijoh Because Dealing With TWO Sets of Childhood Best Friends Across the Net Is Too Much: And Other Projections I Have of their Interactions, a thread and essay by twitter user lesbianiwaoi
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all of the writers qrt’ing this. i am reading ur every response. i resonate so deeply, we are collectively such a silly little group of people. thank u for the gifts u give to the world
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bokuto primary education student… he still goes pro but he has primary ed for after retirement… the kids are so in love with him when he starts teaching at 36 because he brings his olympic medals in for show and tell and he’s so energetic and lovely and caring of the kiddos +
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iwaizumi’s the type of boyfriend who covers table corners with his hand if oikawa is leaning down to pick something up off the ground
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iwaizumi who’s fried from his uni semester and his loving doting pro vb player boyfriend oikawa tooru feeding him fruit and soup and reminding him that he’s the one that chose university willingly and he unfortunately needs to suck it up and do his group assignment even though +
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iwaizumi pov fics hit so hard because u can tell JUST how whipped the author is for oikawa it’s sickening i love him so much
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“iwaizumi hajime is a bottom,” i say loudly. the crowd boos and throws tomatoes at me.
suddenly, a voice shouts. “they’re right! they’re right!” and in the back of the room, there he stands: iwaizumi hajime himself
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in uni oikawa starts wearing like the lightest bit of eyeliner and it drives iwaizumi absolutely feral
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iwaoi meetcute in uni where iwa is the cute big name on campus (BNOC) thts promoting mental health and wellbeing during o-week.. hes holdin two kittens and offering them 2 ppl walking past to have a cuddle..
oikawa feels his heart stop seeing this buff smily dude and his kittens
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matsukawa (about hanamaki): is he actually funny or do i just want to fuck him
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