daverdad
@leodaverson
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Ohio
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we need an app that makes your friends send a pic of exactly what they’re doing or a point is dropped from their credit score
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played
#streamBBC
at the bar last night when it was slow and it was the first song played on the work playlist on this busy Friday night iktr
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Tina Fey’s assistant consuming 12 types of content for her to remain offline but in touch
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we stay up 😤😤😤
BREAKING: Jesus of Nazareth has risen from the dead after three days 😳‼️
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“why would Spain build trains in places I’ve never heard of?”
Feel like Spain got a little too good at building trains and started going for some routes to places where nobody lives.
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In 2010
@asukahomo
and I were on a reality show with Bob Saget where he came to our beloved summer camp and basically told diarrhea jokes nonstop. He was kind hearted and patient with us as we lobbied for personal screen time. RIP to this king and ally.
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@3ikuobaj
Abuse because why would you pretend to give your dog something you’re holding on to? Canceled. Blocked, shot, and left to rot.
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@3ikuobaj
my favorite anti-protest complaint “this inconvenienced people! how selfish can you be?” as if everyone won’t be inconvenienced by having an uninhabitable planet
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@3ikuobaj
dude was like 31 talking about being a nerd and almost missing superman call because he was playing world of Warcraft on a custom built PC while dating a 19 year old university student…who is shocked here?
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it’s my 27th birthday here are 4 of my favorite pics of me from the last year
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@eeeeikuob4j
this is the only one that loaded and it’s fairly tame!!! for context I was suspended for drinking during the filming of a school sponsored anti drunk driving psa (not my fault) and this looked especially messy
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making a documentary about the crime YOU committed?!? kyle rittenhouse’s agent is frothing at the mouth with casino jackpot eyes
Alec Baldwin is working with a crew making a documentary about the Rust shooting
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if your avi isn’t a pic of yourself I just imagine you’re the ugliest person alive
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went home and made myself a stupid up margarita instead. I’m gonna cook chicken thighs
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oomf sees this and says “omg my fave time to cozy up with a sweater and my seasonal depression!!!”
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@eikuobbc
there’s like seventeen different angles like the industrial capitalist operation of adoption, the broken foster care system, seeking children from abroad, wanting to have a child because you can’t conceive your own, contact with the birth families,
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pretended to be a normal person today by doing laundry and reading a book outside…how do you people do this every day
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United States Senator Cory Booker follows a Post Malone parody account
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@3ikuobaj
the head of my hotel last year......he has a wife and kids.......he was there for a month.....
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@3ikuobaj
this is the tweet you send out when you’ve been kidnapped but are supposed to pretend you’re fine
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@eikuob4j
same with Aldi’s. They bought Trader Joe’s and both brothers served in like North Africa and the German Air Force in WWII
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Tom Holland Hit By Car 17 Times
Tom Holland says the highlight of filming Uncharted was being hit by a car 17 times.
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the other night I showed a guy one of my letterboxd reviews and he immediately asked if I was gay
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@NewYorker
@jaboukie
All of my 18-35 year old friends agree “We are in the midst of Jaboukie’s meteoric rise, is there anything oomf can’t do?” we say this in unison.
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he was circumcised…
Star Wars recently revealed the true reason why Darth Vader was never able to become more powerful than Emperor Palpatine.
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my barback passed away this week and he loved the fuck out of these. interpreting this ad like a cardinal sighting. rest easy chris.
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posting a video of me reciting the names of every Woman I’ve eaten out like an incantation
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Heads up for hollywood/western stop!!! If you make it thru the barricades without touching either side troye sivan is waiting around the corner to cast you in a music video!!!!
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had the best oysters of my life two nights ago at a 3 michelin star restaurant. last night I got fined €60.
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hollywood isn’t prepared for him…
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anyone else feel like time is slipping away from you at a rate you can no longer comprehend
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@TMZdating
This is like when doctors would administer leeches to suck out the bad existing blood and let the body replenish itself with new blood
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barbie ticket incoming
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@personofaginess
i remember one vivid week in middle school where i became aware that others perceive me like a robot becoming self conscious. immediately cut my hair.
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funeral for my barback today. he was a good friend. had a dream about him where I got to say goodbye. shaved my face. Had some good hugs with others who cared about him. miss you forever Chris.
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barely 5pm at the bar a customer has already asked how long I was breastfed
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@3ikuobaj
“The case for US military intervention of Iran based on their treatment of protestors” as if unmarked vans weren’t scooping up people in Portland and many Ferguson activists have been ‘’’mysteriously’’’ killed. its Afghanistan invasion to protect womens rights all over again
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kicked a guy out the bar tonight. I had to cut him off and he said I was “jealous of his big dick” he was right :((((((
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