lus🎃
@lavenderkcals
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pumpkin lover. cigarettes and impure thoughts | backup: @lusdoesnteat priv: @imnotlus
edtwt || she/they | 21
Joined June 2020
exposure therapy for social anxiety: asking strangers for cigarettes
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my mom said “since you’re always pacing, why don’t you clean the floor while you’re at it”😭 I’M GETTING EXPLOITED!!!
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am i the only one who’s struggling to get back to restricting💀.
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ana fetishists pls hit me up.
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i’m so serious when i say my ed is not that bad and i’m not rly sick. i’m not dangerously skinny, i have no health issues, i don’t fast, i don’t do low or even mid res, i don’t b/p every day, i don’t work out for hours, i don’t hate eating, etc.
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“ed’s are a mental illness you can’t just turn them off for a day” let people fucking LIVE. allowing yourself more food on a special occasion, be it christmas or your birthday or if you’re on your period, doesn’t mean you don’t have an eating disorder.
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if you feel bad about eating too much just know you’re not alone, i’ve been eating around 3k calories for a few days and yeah i definitely gained weight but it’s okay i can lose it again.
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@contrrl when i was seeing a girl and one night i started writing a research paper on the correlation between a mythological figure she’d named her guitar after and the psychological/archetypal/symbolical meaning of its myth and its influence on platonic philosophy. i was COOKING.
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hot take if you eat 500 cals but you do nothing all day so your tdee is like 1.2k you don’t get to judge people who work, study, exercise etc and eat like 1.5k while their tdee is over 2k saying it’s “just a diet atp” because the calorie deficit is the same👍🏻.
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don’t talk to me about how easy it is to skip breakfast or have an afternoon omad if you wake up late. try being wide awake at 6am see if you’re able to go without food until 4pm BITCH.
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“just don’t buy trigger foods and you’ll be okay” mf i’m binging on bananas.
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wasting your teenage years on an eating disorder just to end up being painfully average and still unloved.
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forgot i was anorexic for 10 minutes and now i’m at 2k calories
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this video is so stupid but i can wrap my fingers around my entire arm again😭🙏🏻
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i know 1000+ calories is still disordered but sometimes i just feel really guilty because i don’t act as anorexic as i should.
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face reveal lol i felt pretty yesterday (the pics are horrible i’m sorry)
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contrary to popular belief, i don’t struggle with binging!! i find it very easy❤️.i’d say binging struggles with me.
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tired of being skinnyfat but i don’t want to do any exercise besides walking💔 god why did you make me lazy.
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some of you are so stupid i swear like what does this even mean
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not studying, not working out, barely getting 15k steps in, barely restricting. i have no idea what i’m doing with my life😍.
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[bodycheck]. i wanted to show off my collar and chest bones but this is basically a nipple check😭😭😭. no creeps pls🙏🏻
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high protein high volume meal ideas?🙏🏻.like 300-400 calories and 30+g of protein.
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not my dog stepping on my scale BABY NOO YOU’RE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE😭❤️❤️❤️
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i think it’s time i come out and say it. i’ve gained 30kg this past year, going from a 10.8 bmi to a 20.6 bmi. my body disgusts me, i can’t look at my reflection in the mirror without crying and wanting to hurt myself. i’m terribly sorry, i feel like i’ve let everyone down.
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my best friend asked if she could come over, i told her “i don’t really want to see people rn” and she replied “i’m not people, i’m coming in half an hour”. i love her but i don’t understand why she can’t fucking respect my boundaries.
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i will not be triggered by people whose intake is lower than mine because my intake works for me and i will not be triggered by people who carry weight differently than me and look skinnier because there is nothing i can do about it except lose weight which is what i’m doing 💆🏻♀️🕯️.
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“you know what? i will eat what i want without being disordered, i deserve it!” *binges*.
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throwback to when i was bmi 11 and i ate so much sushi i gave myself slight refeeding syndrome, passed out and threw up undigested food hours later😭
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society if people fucking stopped comparing lw anorexics to auschwitz victims
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if you’re constipated just binge instead of taking lax, it’s 10am and i’ve already pooped 5? times and my stomach is completely empty and flat despite having eaten 2k calories.
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my mom keeps acting disordered in front of me i hope she gets fat.
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btw ALL CALS ON ME TODAYYYY eat something you love as a gift for my birthday❤️❤️❤️.
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like i’ve literally been eating SO MUCH and i still lost weight?? more than i lost while being in a deficit???.
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this water weight shit is pissing me off i ate 850 calories yesterday, burned 650, pooped after days, purged, and you’re telling me i gained 0.5kg???.
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this is genuinely what i look like before purging.
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no one gives a shit if i eat or not because i’m too fucking fat for anyone to be worried about me.
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feels faint -> eats more -> feels guilty so walks for hours to burn it off. my sister in ana i’m afraid you’re not going to feel any better.
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i’m literally going to die lol
just ate a protein bar that expired in september❤️.
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eating is a fucking scam it only makes me feel hungrier like okkkk i’ll just starve ig.
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likeee
every day i thank the universe for giving me skinny arms. yes i have an unfortunate mr bobinsky build and yes i’m extremely jealous of people with a tiny waist who still look thin at a higher bmi but to each their own and i’m grateful for what i do have🙏🏻.
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so unfair how i’ve been maintaining for months on a deficit and a few days of surplus make me gain weight. so NOW my body follows the laws of thermodynamics??.
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“why eat a protein bar you could have chicken for less calories and more protein” does chicken taste like chocolate and peanut butter to you.
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why do people always want to meet up for lunch or dinner!!! can’t we just smoke and talk shit about people? I DON’T WANT TO EAT.
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developing anorexia with no external influence is so interesting like how did i know what to do when i had no knowledge on nutrition or calories or exercise and i didn’t even want to be skinny.
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starve to have the body you desperately want. starve to have control. starve to show everyone that you can do it. starve to finally be at peace with yourself.
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can you believe a PSYCHOLOGIST told me i’m not anorexic because i no longer weigh 30kg.
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y’all this is actually crazy a guy came up to me and told me “you’re so skinny you deserve to smoke i got this for you” omg
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[old bodycheck]. my arms were probably the only thing that looked my bmi
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someone probably already made something like this but this is my version of it
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i need to be smarter with my calories bc wym i had two protein bars and an apple at 7am and now i can’t eat for the rest of the day.
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“people will still take your eating disorder seriously even if you’re not deathly skinny!!” sorry but no. my family sees me fast, purge, only eat fruit and vegetables and tells me i can do whatever i want as long as i don’t reach a weight that will get me hospitalised.
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and if i say that maureen and the girl defending her are the same person….
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when people know about your ed they could see you eat like 500 calories in a day and still be like “you’re doing so good, i’m so proud of you for fighting🥺❤️”.
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i wish i could just fucking eat. eat without thinking about calories and steps and hunger and time and bodies and guilt and shame and disgust and pain and and and. it’s the most natural thing in the world yet here i am unable to freely feed myself and just live like everyone else.
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this might sound really stupid but maybe someone needs to hear it:. it’s okay to not exercise. i quit 2 minutes into my workout because i just didn’t feel like it, no big deal. don’t force yourself.
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my dad gave me a protein bar that is 144 calories for 24g of protein CRAZY.
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put these in my fridge in case i wake up hungry tonight and forget i’m anorexic😭
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