Laila ✨
@lailachima
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engineer, stylist, eat pray love for tech ✨ prev @stripe eng, @ycombinator backed cto and @stanfordsymsys 💕🪄
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Joined January 2016
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As a recovered prestige junkie (Stanford, Stripe engineer, YC CTO, I have an almost nauseatingly good resume), 2 things are true:
Prestige absolutely can be a trap. As Steve Jobs said the only way to do good work is to love what you do, and chasing prestige is often a
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I had a blind date with a late 30s McKinsey consultant (who I really hope doesn’t search me on X). Nice guy, but I could tell he wasn’t excited about his career and that brings a certain heaviness you know? I wanna be with someone who loves his life
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The older we get, the greater the gap between those who had the courage to follow their authentic dreams, and those who did not
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So.. I got fired, the new job wasn’t a fit both ways, right after signing this very expensive lease. But something tells me an amazing new chapter is beginning.. ✨
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At 30, compounding effects of people’s habits start to show.
Do you take care of your health? Sleep well, eat well, exercise, meditate? It’s starting to show on our faces.
Can you be honest with yourself, even about the hard stuff? That you’re in the wrong marriage? That your
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I’m 90 years old, dancing with my husband, counting down the days we have left. Our kids are all grown up living around the world with lives of their own to tend to. My parents are long gone and I miss them every day.
I wish so badly that I could go back to that time I was 31,
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Most startups fail because the founders needed therapy instead of a Series A
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sf is millionaires dressing like broke people and nyc is broke people dressing like millionaires
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He did inspire this iconic tweet
The older we get, the greater the gap between those who had the courage to follow their authentic dreams, and those who did not
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How to pick the right startup in your early 20s
I semi-retired at 27 because I joined Stripe at a great time. Worth noting I know many people who have a lot more than me in pure $ value who don’t feel they can afford to take risks, and many who have a lot less but are more
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I almost died in Bali, and it saved my life
In November 2022 I was living in Canggu, Bali, where I had flown by myself, knowing absolutely no one. My routine was to surf in the morning, eat at one of those healthy vegan places, then get a massage. I know that sounds idyllic but
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Leaving San Francisco was the single best thing I did for my personal life *shudders*
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I said this to a relative who complained that my IG photos in
@aloyoga
were too much and I should tone it down. Pakistani girl problems ❤️
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“past my expiration date” (31) vs. “in my prime” (22)
22: people pleaser, proves her worth via achievements, graduating Stanford w credit card debt surrounded by wealthy kids she can neither relate to nor keep up with, jealous of beautiful women, chases external validation esp
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Lol I sent this casually and now people are TRIGGERED 😂 reminder that i don’t need to justify or debate any such decision with anyone, much less anyone on X :) I can afford to be highly selective and I am obviously not running a charity here
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I’m 31 today! No filters, fillers or Botox, just an average looking woman past her expiry date. Hobbies include turning down sweet & rich McKinsey consultants if they seem depressed enough. Not a bad life all things considered ✨
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Got a few job offers already btw! That was never gonna be the issue — broader question is what I want to work on and give my energy to, and that’s the tricky bit.
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And that my friends, is how we turn setbacks into stepping stones 😇✨ PS I’m a life coach, open to new clients, DM me! And yes I am actually in such good spirits
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Lot of people have asked why I got fired (thank you for the concern btw! 💕)
This is a great opportunity to practice shadow work in real time. Assuming that everything in my life is as I want it to be (consciously or unconsciously), the question would be: what part of me wanted
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Hi friends ❤️ I worry that this is being taken totally out of context and taken in a very mean way which was not my intent at all. I meant this to highlight the importance of living a life we’re excited about, was supposed to be an uplifting message :) tweeted it at 11:30
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At 20 our lives are basically a reflection of our childhood circumstances and a bit of our efforts. But at 30, 40 and beyond, your life is a direct reflection of your choices. Make good choices.
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This is fascinating. A rather innocent tweet that I didn’t think would be of much interest to anyone has struck such a nerve that commenters are criticizing me for leaving Stripe in 2021, not being top of my class at Stanford, building a generic NFT checkout and being single at
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Worked at
@stripe
for years focused on delivering the best user experience, so it was surreal becoming a user myself and integrating Stripe this week! It's official, you can buy NFTs with credit card using
@winter_nfts
!
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Things I don’t say when people say the dating scene sucks
No babe, you’re really unpleasant to be around and I don’t think you even know it. You’re always stressed and in crisis, you don’t take care of yourself mentally, emotionally or physically, and you don’t seem excited
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Wholesome hike with the cofounder (wearing
@ycombinator
swag of course!) as the batch wraps up. What a ride - beyond grateful to build
@winter_NFTs
with
@AzianMike
!
And best of luck to all
@ycombinator
W22 companies on demo day!!
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I’m offering free 20 minute life coaching sessions as part of my ✨ random acts of kindness ✨ this summer! As a certified life coach I can’t tell anyone what to do, but I can be surprisingly effective at helping you unblock yourself to achieve your own goals.
Spots limited —
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My biggest ick is people who feel powerless over their own lives. If you complain to me about the same thing 3 times and always focus on how the situation sucks but take no ownership over your role and fixing it, don’t be surprised when I stop responding to your texts.
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Between being a gold digger and a 50/50 girl there is a secret third thing: make your own money, love your life, only date people you’re really excited about (because you can, you don’t need anyone’s money).. but within that, let him provide. It’s more fun for both that way.
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I’m getting in the groove of NYC and it is addictive. Last night with a girlfriend: amazing Pilates class, sushi dins followed by a cozy cafe for dessert / tea. Conversation about personal growth, inner work and lots of laughter.
I feel alive on a visceral level.
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Remembering the guy I dated last summer, how I cried all night when he broke up with me right after meeting all my friends. To think of the massive upgrade I’ve had since; that feels like a different life. Every setback is a stepping stone girls 🪜
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When girls ask me for advice about a guy, here is what I don’t say:
Baby if you need to overthink his texts and ask me for advice, it’s already a no. If he liked you properly, he wouldn’t leave a doubt in your mind. Stop focusing on him and have fun, better people will come ✨
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Don’t worry friends, homelessness is not on the table quite yet ☺️ but this is an exciting opportunity to hustle on something new ✨
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I don’t care about rich, famous, beautiful, followers, hype. I want to do and build fun things with people I love that’s it. Sleep enough, be healthy. Have a wholesome beautiful home full of love. Stability.
So funny to feel this way while subletting in Soho.
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Something oddly soothing about being cooped up in a tiny Manhattan apt I’m paying 5k for, not leaving the house but knowing I’m in the middle of everything. Feels like I’m part of the scene while simultaneously not being part of the scene at all. What’s the point, one might ask
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Can I have an LLM of my highest self so I can just ask her what to do directly
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@shahidnowshad
Woo welcome to your 30s! I love being 30 so much, we’re old enough to have some wisdom but young enough to.. well, be young. It’s a really fun age :)
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Serious question, are Republicans hotter? The being hot to voting for Trump pipeline is.. not null
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The world thrives on women having low self esteem. Not asking for much, setting the bar low, believing that I am not [hot / smart / rich / successful / young] enough to go out and get the things I truly deeply want. It’s really threatened when it sees a woman break out of that.
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Wearing what I want has actually been an act of radical defiance in my life. I know it may not seem like much! Most Pakistani girls will tell you we get policed and judged for wearing anything slightly out there, and in tech there was an unofficial uniform.
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Remembering something Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat Pray Love) said about virality and creative “success” (as in, having lots of people read her book):
Everyone projected their own experiences on to her book. Lot of people came to her with pitchforks, super triggered by what
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People don’t talk about how painful but necessary it is to let go of friendships that aren’t working, that haven’t been working for a long time, that we outgrow on our healing journey.
I am not the person I was 10 years ago. My values, confidence, vision for life have
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Having painful experiences early in life is actually a huge blessing because it forces you to awaken and rethink everything and make your own view of the world. If it was any less unbearable you might stick to the status quo and hurt yourself in the long term
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TFW you sign your dream apartment in NYC and briefly pinch yourself bc that sweet sheltered Pakistani girl became a grown independent woman with floor to ceiling windows and her dream closet and a big girl job and a side hustle as a stylist and I’m proud of her 🥹
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We met at Equinox Tribeca; she was super cute, we were both wearing alo yoga so I had to say hi. How I made my new Korean bestie ☺️
I love New York. Nothing like adding to my girl gang ✨🗽
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Sabbaticals are cool but at some point you just want consistent community, a stable income, a purpose to wake up for in the morning and contribute to society. For 90+% of people a job does that better than entrepreneurship.
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Having done a lot of personal dev / inner work in my 20s, one theme I’ve noticed is slightly older people telling me they envied me doing this young.
My takeaway is the time for inner work is always now, because the younger you do it, the longer you have for the effects to
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Scenes from my old reality (pre inner work) that feel completely foreign now ✨
Waiting for some guy to text me and overthinking his response (what?)
Feeling very creatively stifled, plenty of ideas but no action. Instead I would just overthink and spiral
Putting
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When I’m having a difficult day (like today), I remind myself that JK Rowling was a single mom on food stamps when she wrote Harry Potter. I can get through whatever I’m going through right now
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♥️
@southpkcommons
and can’t wait for our new NYC space! We’re already planning a bunch of member-led activities 🥂
South Park Commons, an "anti incubator" founded by early FB and Dropbox engineers, gains momentum by
@cookie
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Reminder that you can just do things, you don’t need anyone’s permission. Some things I have just done:
• traveled everywhere I wanted, often by myself. I am actually bored of traveling, for now, that’s how much I’ve traveled
• become a stylist and created a reality where I
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In the founder community, getting fired is a rite of passage and badge of honor. Just means you have a mind of your own
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The more insecure you are the more you give yourself reason to be insecure. You act in ways that push people away: show off, compare, take things personally, hold yourself back. People can tell and the ones who can afford to be picky, don’t want someone like that in their lives.
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@hollowearthterf
But seriously all my girlfriends got a lot hotter at 30. Some kind of internal glow up that affects style and attitude
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In 1 week of “the glow up squad” we’re already ramen profitable! Though for our team, matcha latte profitable is probably the right term.
We sold 8 styling sessions in just our first week!!
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Bday dinner fit check ✨🪄☺️ kept it simple with a black dress on a perfect nyc summer eve
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Quick story about manifestation, the power of mindsets and my beautiful Eid outfit.
6 months ago I attended a Pakistani wedding in Thailand that had a few models in attendance. These girls wore the most beautiful clothes, samples of the latest dresses from Pakistan’s best
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Anyone want a free 20 min coaching session tonight? Part of my homework for certification!
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If you’re trying to prove your worth via achievements you have it the wrong way. Feel worthy first, and then you’ll do cool things that come about naturally
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The Pakistani mountains have been on my mind a lot because my guide / friend there got married this weekend. I sadly couldn’t attend the festivities, but I enjoyed the content from Equinox in New York. So cool to be part of such different worlds in one short life ☺️
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“I am now in a relationship where I’m being treated so well I can’t believe I ever settled for less”
My girlfriend when she started dating her now fiancé. This lives rent free in my mind.
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Some people are not going to heal in this lifetime (I know I just said I’m taking a break from X today, but this had to be said). Some people will pass up every opportunity to face their shit and instead shoot the messenger (me). Then they end up miserable in their 50s and beyond
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Kind of a crazy realization that you can be / do / have anything you want during this short trip on earth, and yet most of us take our unlived dreams to the grave
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My mom visited (from Pakistan!) last weekend and we got to have a really cute time in NYC, she and my younger brother slept over at my place, we went to a party haha and had breakfast the next day.
By far the thing I’m most proud of in life is my relationship w my family ☺️
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I’m going to do a random act of kindness every day for 30 days ☺️ this weekend I:
- took a stranger (from the DMs on X!) out to dinner and held space for her to talk about anything
- cooked dinner for two friends separately ❤️
- introduced girlfriends in SF to each other to
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Life lessons from a Stripe engineer turned YC CTO turned stylist (who gets paid to take people shopping)
- follow your intuition. I know the second my client comes out of the fitting room, if they like that piece of clothing or not. It’s obvious from the look on their face and
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Guys I think I’m gonna change my tagline from “San Francisco’s Best Dressed CTO” to “who cares?”
Laila Chima: who cares?
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Things I was sl*t shamed for growing up attending an all girls convent in Pakistan
Wearing sleeveless tops
Talking to boys
Having a pink z610i phone (I was always a girly girl)
Wearing this backless saree
Flirting
Various random things I honestly forget
I used to get all
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This whole economic system was built by men for men, and now women are trying to fit into it by working like men and the whole thing is a mess
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Btw I’m doing a 100 day content challenge on TikTok on “getting fired right after signing a $5000 lease in New York City” I just posted Day 3!!
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When I moved from Pakistan to Stanford for college, I was 18, on financial aid and everything in America felt really expensive. Even $30 for a book seemed too much, so I would buy books from the Stanford bookstore, read and then return them 😂 I’ll never forget the first time I
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How to manifest your dream partner:
Take a page and draw a line splitting in half.
Left side: describe your ideal partner in vivid detail.
Right side: describe THEIR ideal partner in vivid detail.
Be honest: are you embodying what’s on the right? If no, can you get there?
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Happy Mother’s Day ❤️ I can’t wait to be a mom, I love kids so much. But I’m also glad I waited a little and went on this whole healing journey because my kids will really benefit. This way I won’t pass my traumas on to them :)
In the meantime, Thai kids I adopted last year.
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Btw NYC friends (esp writers): if you’re looking for something to do today, the Lahore Literary Fest is having its NYC pop up all day at 725 Park Ave. it’s really cool esp for people who love reading and writing!
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This
@vancleefarpels
pendant is extra special because it kicked off “my selfish years.” When the book comes out I will give it away as part of a social media contest to a young woman who needs a new lease on life. Until then you get a sneak peek :)
I was sick of my life in a
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As a stylist I take so many others shopping, I forgot how fun it is to take myself shopping ✨🪄💫
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Calling all web3-curious engineers! Come learn about Winter and life as an engineer at a fast-paced web3 startup 🤩
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You have to be really hot and successful in order to be criticized for not being hot and successful enough. Thank u haters :)
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What they don’t tell you about working in a male dominated field is if you’re not conscious you’ll end up giving up your feminine side to fit in with the guys. Dressing like the guys, talking like the guys, thinking like the guys. And for many women that just isn’t worth it.
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The older I get the more I realize that my mom was right when she said that, and that, and that, and that.
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idk who needs to hear this but you don’t need anyone else to agree that you’re hot, you can just decide that you’re hot and invest in yourself accordingly
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How to be unrecognizable (in a good way) in 6 months:
Remember that you — not your parents, boss, partner or friends — are the writer, director, producer and main character of your own film, and that film is your life.
Want to switch up the location? Go ahead. Fire a
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How to grow an audience on X: write and post
How to build community: host events and reach out to people
How to become a software engineer: write code and apply to jobs
Do things, and things will get done. It’s not that complicated.
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How to deal with setbacks
Picture a version of you 10 years from now — who is grateful things happened exactly as they did. How did things turn out that made this version of you look back and say “I’m so happy I lived through that setback?”
And then: who do you need to be
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Takeaways from day
#1
of life coach training :)
- Difference between coaching and therapy! Coaching looks to the present and future to help you reach your goals. Therapy focuses on past traumas and painful events that might be affecting you today.
- It’s amazing what a
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OFFERING: YOUR BREAKUP BESTIE 💔❤️🩹
Back in the day I was the queen of breakups — I would literally use them as fuel for my glow up and productivity (extremely unhealthy dependence — I wouldn’t recommend). That phase of my life is (hopefully) over now, but I still find myself
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Every time I do my makeup I think about how ridiculous the 50/50 movement is. I put >$1000 worth of product on my face, my outfits, nails, hair require further thousands to upkeep and in general women do not earn nearly as much as men. And you want me to pay for half of dinner?
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