Dr. Laura Hartmann-Villalta
@lahartvillalta
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Spanish Civil War. Modernism. Visual Culture. Naps. Yiddish. Lecturer, University Writing Program, Johns Hopkins University.
District of Columbia, USA
Joined June 2015
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📢 y'all. I AM SO EXCITED to share this post where you'll discover thoughts on the academy, the spanish civil war, activism, intellectual life, & community partnerships. ❤️💛💜
In our first post of the new year—and the latest in
@debraraecohen
's In These Times blog series—
@lahartvillalta
takes up "the cause of the humanities" in "How I Talk about Activism without Talking about Activism"
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My MLA horror story
cw: suicide is mentioned
The content warning makes my story sound dramatic; it is not, not really. My horror story is about academic bullying. And I share because this week is MLA, & b/c you might see academic bullying and I ask you to stand up & intervene.
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I am either numb or teary for a week after, and it takes me about seven months to put myself back together in my head about my work.
Which is my long-winded way of saying don’t let a bully ruin someone’s time at MLA or any other conference; stand up when you see something like
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that happen and deflect it. And if this happens to you: it’s not you, it’s them. It. Is. So. Them.
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Another part knows that I've managed to stay because I had very supportive people, especially Carole Sargeant & Josh, who built me back up and believe in my book project even when I think no one will ever read it or will want to. <3
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a headshot I don't think I could ever use, but that I think should see the light of day because this is HOW I AM IN PROFESSIONAL SETTINGS
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that my Big Theoretical Idea for My Book was so thoroughly assaulted. I’m also really really confused: how did a room full of academic people watch that happen and say nothing? How could the moderator just allow that to take place? Did that just happen?
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ending the week with a big announcement: i'm joining the university writing program at johns hopkins as a full-time lecturer.
the hopkins mascot is the bluejay. 💙
1/ (buckle in, i have no idea how many numbers imma need to talk through my feelings)
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Obviously, I’m still in the profession and am revising the book manuscript for peer review and well, I get by. This is not a story that ends in my ultimate triumph or whatever. Part of me thinks I'm still in because of the actual difficulty for me of leaving the academy:
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As I’m listening to her next question and trying to think of how to address it without losing my mind, I’m also wondering why the moderator is allowing this to happen. She could shut it down and move on from the discussant to other people. But she doesn’t.
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where my intervention is situated. She asks me for examples; I provide multiple examples from other chapters of my book beyond the conference paper. People are nodding, again, encouraging, but also now kinda white with pain and discomfort at what is clearly bullying.
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it’s become clear that I’m being dressed down and burned with the Eye of Scholarly Sauron and frankly I don’t know why; my ideas seemed no more provocative than the other two. I put down my pen and take deep breaths in order not to vomit bile as she lists events from the 19th
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I may have gripped her upper arm. And she slips her business card in my hand and says we need to have coffee back in DC because no one is discussing gender in quite this way and I glance at the card to see she’s a professor
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known as my scholarly work, b.) there are people like the discussant in the profession and c.) there are fellow academics like that moderator and audience members who just…let that happen.
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I go back to the hotel room and pace while sobbing. I’m sure this is the End of My Academic Career because how can I continue on with it when a.) my ideas are so bad and unpersuasive and I’ve obviously Wasted My Life with this Expensive Hobby
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I wonder if the other panelists supplied journal article length papers because there was no physical way to pack in all my knowledge into this conference paper. What is happening. I leave my body and am floating above the panelists’ table, focusing on my breath and trying not to
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As people are shuffling out and we are disassembling our PPTs, the discussant comes up to us panelists and says, “very interesting paper” to me and I smile while hoping she falls into Lake Michigan later that day.
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& at that time in charge of WGS at GWU and I literally think, “but I am leaving the profession now; why would we have coffee?”
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As I rend my hair, I am somewhat grateful that this has happened while I’m mentally and emotionally secure enough not to actually contemplate suicide seriously because that has not always been true especially over my academic work. I am shattered, but now that I
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At MLA Chicago in 2019, I was selected to be on a guaranteed panel. I was presenting on the Spanish Civil War, of course, and representations of refugees and contemporary resonances. I was excited because this was gonna be my First Academic Presentation At MLA,
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Am I okay? I don’t think I’m okay. An audience member comes up to me as she leaves the room and tries to engage me about my paper, but I cannot be polite & discuss my work, I just say, “Was she right? Was I…not clear? You were there! Did you understand what I was trying to say?”
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Finally, the discussant says, “Ah, it’s clear that you just don’t know how to explain it. We can follow up over email” and is silent, but smug.
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She spends a minute or two praising the other papers and sits down in the front row, because there is no space for her up front with the four of us. I look at the crowd of attendees and many of them have pained, sympathetic faces at me and are shaking their heads or looking
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know that my deepest suspicions are confirmed, that my work on the Spanish Civil War is neither necessary nor quality, I can leave! Permission to stop trying has been granted by the discussant and everyone else in the room!
I cry; I watch all four Iliza Schlesinger
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I applied for jobs all the time, even interviewed &made last rounds, but this was the Trump administration, when very qualified & experienced Democrats were leaving government in droves, flooding the non-profits and NGOs in DC. Job hunting in DC from 2017-2019 was futile.
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cry because what am I supposed to do; I can’t exactly leave. “The gaps in Hartmann-Villalta’s argument reveal slippery, unfocused scholarly research that ignores the field of…”
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And, reader, you’re not going to believe it, but we go back and forth for the next seven minutes. I explain again my definition that I provided in my conference paper, this time with a bit more of a literary genealogy of previous scholars’ work and
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@publicroad
you know, i was thinking of sending myself a pointsettia or flowers with something like: YOU MADE IT THROUGH YOUR FIRST SEMESTER as a full-time instructor. carnival! rumspringa!
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was just sarcastic in his first language that he doesn’t reply but his eyes widen. This is the only joke I can make and I need to make it because I’m not sure I can stand up. If I move, I might cry, and I’m desperately trying to keep composure.
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specials on Netflix; I cry more; I uber-eats a burrito; I talk to J & my parents, separately, who are confused, stunned, sorry that happened to me. I go to panels the next day because well I’m leaving the profession now, might as well see what I’ll miss, la.
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The moderator stands up and thanks everyone for coming; the discussant makes sure everyone knows about Scholars at Risk and the good work they do. I turn to the man and say, “lefko krasi, parakalo!” which means “white wine, please.” Greek panel man is so surprised that I
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century that would have complicated my argument if only I’d mentioned them. “By their absence, it’s clear that Hartmann-Villalta is not aware of [insert topic here].”
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The discussant stands up and goes to the podium. I’ve been taking notes on the other papers, so I’m ready for her comments. She thanks us all for our fascinating papers, and then launches into a fifteen-minute scathing attack of my presentation.
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call for suggestions: I'm teaching an academic writing class based around the zombie apocalypse in the fall. I've got some notions of what (zombie) readings to include, but I'd love more suggestions on your favorite zombie related short stories, novels, & more!
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I leave the room and stand in the hall. I had intended to go to other panels, but now it is clear I cannot. I have to commit hari-kari. I am starting to tear up, but honestly I’m still so stunned that my First Academic Presentation at MLA was so disastrous and
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my previous one being a digital exhibit about using VoiceThread in the online classroom as feminist pedagogy (a pedagogical presentation & thus not considered “as serious” as something research-based by most literary scholars.) & we’d have a discussant, which was a first for me!
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At first, I take her comments earnestly and write them down. Oh, I missed this. Yes, I should’ve talked about that. What about this other thing that I mentioned but didn’t explain? I am sweating and nauseous, because after a few minutes
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down at their hands. I take a sip of water. I am stunned. I look down at my notes that I stopped writing. I look at the clock. There are ten minutes left in this hell.
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And with two minutes left in the panel, someone asks the man a question and I wonder if I’m actually still alive. My head feels light. Am I breathing.
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I was 3 years post-phd, had revised my diss into a book manuscript, written and was shopping a book proposal, and was feeling pretty good about things.
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I wasn’t procrastinating because I was Taking This Opportunity Seriously as I was told one should about MLA. I was the only non-tenure-track presenter, but I didn’t think much of this at the time.
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I would get feedback & revise my ideas & make new connections. The discussant was a mover in the organization Scholars at Risk, which I had supported & advocated for for years. Everyone was friendly over email. Vibes were good. A success loomed.
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I get to my conference room early and folks are already coming in – we’d end up having an audience of maybe 40-50 people, definitely one of my biggest audiences ever. The panelist and the chair are speaking in Greek about their recent holidays in Athens.
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The discussant asked for papers by like Dec. 10 and I wrote my conference paper, revising & shortening from book chapters, and sent her something like 11 double-spaced pages w/ bibliography. I was proud! I was ready!
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Fast forward three weeks to Chicago, which was blustery and I used underground tunnels to navigate from one conference hotel to the next. Our panel was in a prime-time slot – like 1.30 on Saturday – and I was so nervous I barely ate anything.
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My friend & grad school cohort-mate had presented the previous afternoon, so she had left MLA, but was texting support. Being relatively new still after my PhD and being contingent faculty away from my grad program,
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and says, “I’m sorry, but if I may, I’m just dying to ask: Laura, what exactly do you mean by XYZ?”
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Having seen J be a discussant or receive feedback from discussants regularly at APSA, I was really looking forward to this senior scholar, & the panel more broadly, commenting on my research.
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I can’t remember the order, but we’re all introduced and I’m the only contingent scholar. I give my presentation wherein I present my Big Theoretical Idea for My Book; people are nodding, intrigued. I am sweating. The man’s presentation is about film adaptation of a novel that
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The moderator stands up and thanks the discussant for her fascinating comments. The moderator then opens the floor for questions from the audience. And though other people’s hands are raised, the discussant raises her hand
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has not come out yet in the US; it seems…vague, like one of those European films where people wander around picturesque places and glare at each other across coffee tables. But whatever, people are nodding about that one, too,
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I don't know hardly anyone in the field, yet, aside from folks who had been on panels with me at MSA and NeMLA, and I wasn't integrated into a department that had representation at this big conference.
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(I know a smidgen of Greek from prolonged visits & also: context). We set up our PPTs. The discussant comes in. She and the panel chair/organizer/moderator are old friends, kisses on the cheeks. She’s friends with the man on the panel, more kisses. More Greek!
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and I just assume it’s because I haven’t read the novel the film is based on. I can’t remember the third panelist’s presentation at all.
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I don’t remember the third person on the panel besides that she was a junior scholar somewhere.
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Just told my student "have a good weekend" it is Tuesday omg.
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I don't often share that I'm a survivor of the VA Tech shooting because what good does it do. This hits. 💔
The front page of tomorrow's
@dailytarheel
–
I shed many tears while typing up these heart-wrenching text messages sent and received by UNC students yesterday. Our campus was on lockdown for more than three hours.
Beyond proud of this cover and the team behind it.
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OMG it finally happened. I won an award for my...teaching/mentoring/emotional labor?...at the institution I just left?
Anyway: I was nominated by a Georgetown student for my "meaningful impact and guidance" and i'm BEAMING from ear to ear. 🏆🤓🏆😊🏆
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comrades! as we prepare for
@MLAnews
#MLA
#MLA2024
#MLA24
- reminder to ALL but *especially* to moderators - if a respondent or audience member has veered from respectful engagement to berating to downright bullying, you can intervene & redirect the convo.
You are empowered!💖
My MLA horror story
cw: suicide is mentioned
The content warning makes my story sound dramatic; it is not, not really. My horror story is about academic bullying. And I share because this week is MLA, & b/c you might see academic bullying and I ask you to stand up & intervene.
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2K
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This dreary day, I'm here to announce that I've been awarded a grant from the Peter E. Palmquist Fund 2022 of the Humboldt Area Foundation & Wild Rivers Community Foundation, funding my research on Kati Horna, getting me to Amsterdam & the Intn'l Institute of Social History
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@elias_greig
Thank you for your support.
I often wondered if the friendships at play made it somehow harder to intervene....
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no shade to those selected (honestly, congrats, it's hard out here for all of us).
losing my 💩 that 6/8 of the folks selected for the CALS first book institute are tenure-track, with resources to feedback for their books-in-progress that contingent folks dream of.
may delete?
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Today Josh & I helped Lylabean (our gentle, sweet, babygirlcat) into the deep, dark sleep that awaits us all. We adopted her as a 9 yr old shy lady, & with Josh's love & patience, she emerged out of her shell to be our boss. For four great years together: thank you, Frijolita.
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new hair color that managed to preserve my (favorite) grey streak. honestly might finally shell out the dough for headshots because i am INTELLECTUAL i am FASHION i am CONFIDENCE.
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📢 all of literary scholarly twitter:
@RColesworthy
& i are composing a list of 2021 BOOK & ARTICLE pubs by contingent literary/writing studies faculty for publication in
@contingent_mag
!! spread the word!📚✍️📜
please DM me or Rebecca OR email lah132
@georgetown
.edu by DEC. 15.
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heeey the husband earned tenure & promotion at georgetown!
he'll be associate professor in the government department as of aug. 1.
i am thrilled for him, for me, for us.
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in an unexpected twist, i will be starting as the director of the MA program in the engaged & public humanities at georgetown this fall.
i am engaged. i am public. i am humanities.
ooOOOOoo i think i just thought of our first slogan. see. i'm already working. 🥰
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@PamelaKGilbert
thank you -- people seemed stunned frozen, absolutely, or seemed to be waiting for the moderator to Do Something...and she might as well have been stunned frozen, too.
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Sending this back to MLA like: Imma chair the lights out of this committee. Fasten your seatbelts, kiddos, it's time to ride. 🎢🎢
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in my feelings this afternoon because I've discovered a just-published book that is so closely aligned to my own book manuscript, it's absurd. feeling discouraged and what's the point of it all.
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i need to join a support group for women academics who cannot help but use exclamation points in emails. helpz. i have an enthuse.
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oh hey i've been appointed core faculty for the medical humanities initiative at georgetown. working with lakshmi krishnan has been a dream, so good things ahead!!
(here is the website for more info if you're curious beyond my bedazzled screenshot: )
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📢y'all, colleagues & comrades, far & wide: I'm the editor of a brand-new feature of the journal Feminist Modernist Studies called "Out of the Feminist Classroom," featuring short pieces about pedagogy & modernism in all types of classrooms. 👩🏫
email me with your ideas! 💖
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I did it!!! I almost can't believe i actually completed a triathlon this morning.
For twitter friends' curiosity: View Laura's 2021 Columbia Association Triathlon results at
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🚨🚨 Really proud to share the first-ever published bit from my book manuscript on the Spanish Civil War & foreign women witnesses, if you ever wondered what I keep going on about over here in my modernist corner.
This piece as such as a Special Place In My Heart. ❤️💛💜
@lahartvillalta
explores how Kati Horna “complicates our critical understanding of modernism by showing how Surrealism and portraiture are linked as vital elements of experimentation, and how both might be inflected through a feminist lens.”
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@shaunduke
Thank you -- as it was happening I was like: you have heard of this happening and now it is happening to you.
I'm feeling much more confident in myself & my scholarship, but it did take some time to repair.
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📢📢HEAR YE HEAR YE: the one & only
@RColesworthy
& I are once more collecting literary contingent 2023 pubs, articles & monographs, for the end-of-year list to be published in
@contingent_mag
!
Please RT!
1/
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"no pants, big heart, no fear": my slogan for the first day on the job as the director of the public humanities MA program at georgetown. inspired by last week at provincetown.
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here to raise awareness that once again, all the (qualified & likely lovely folks; no shade at them!) folks chosen for the first book institute at penn state are tenure-track.
when will a nonTT fac member be chosen? we write books too.
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(CW: guns) just can't stop thinking about the student who texted throughout class, finding out if their friends were still alive as a school shooting was reported in their hometown. their notebook read at the end of class was a scrawl: X is ALIVE; Y is ALIVE; Z is ALIVE.
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Good thing I love this view because it's all I've seen of Madrid so far on this trip. Contracted covid immediately upon arrival. Finally starting to feel a tad better; have had many feelings, most of them variations on fear & sadness; behind on ALL THE WORK; trip a mess...🤧🤧😵💫
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@chronicle
that pull quote is so misleading. what a load of malarkey. adjuncting can be gratifying work when you have a full time job with benefits somewhere else?? oh, do tell us more.
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hey
#AcademicTwitter
-- so i'm teaching a first-year writing class this spring based around the role of books, libraries, & archives in building & sustaining an intellectual and writing life. 1/
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@CarolMarshburn
@autistichoya
Another reason why DC needs statehood: we'd have a congressperson! 2 senators.
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look what my awesome program coordinator made for me! 😻😻😻🤌
also: THIS SATURDAY feb. 5 from 10am-12noon EST -- i talk about the spanish civil war!
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All contingent literary scholars, you and your friends -- please send info on 2019 books YOU published to me. I'm compiling a list, and we have an in to have it published in Contingent Magazine. Editors, please share the work of your contingent faculty!!
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Vacation! 🌞🫶🤩😻
Next up: Hot Book Summer! 📖 ✍️📝
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Wanna attend a cool *virtual* panel at
#MLA23
about fostering online communities during the pandemic? Log on at 1.45pm PST // 4.45pmEST tomorrow.👇👇
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@shannonbgoode
"please fill out this form and also don't forget to include an updated version of your CV that includes all this info too"
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Chuffed to share the best picture 📸 taken of me in an age.
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1.5 day solo writing retreat in cabin. Yes, I brought that pillow from home because I know what I need to write: at least five pillows.
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i have now created the MLA folder for my conference paper draft; that is the only thing certain about MLA right now. ✍️✍️
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🤩 Still disbelieving to share that I've been selected for a 2023 Puentes Leadership & Resiliency Fellowship, along w. some other incredible Latinx-Jews.
Here's the page of other fellows if you're curious, or wanna learn my bio. 🇨🇷✡️
@JHUArtsSciences
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