krys malcolm belc
@krysmalcolmbelc
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THE NATURAL MOTHER OF THE CHILD @CounterpointLLC . chap @TCPBRD . memoir ed @splitlipthemag . writing/teaching at @minnesotaMFA for now! ask me about philadelphia.
St Paul, MN
Joined May 2016
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one year anniversary of my then-5yo sliding this across the table while i tried to WFH
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two of my children are absolutely screaming at each other over whether the eponymous cars from Cars (2006) have car insurance or life insurance.
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cis people fretting over what's "irreversible." the hitch in my hip from pushing a baby out of my body 8 years ago is irreversible but we are not only not fearmongering about pregnancy but also actively not talking about the ways in which the bodily changes from it are for good.
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@ShandersWrites
idk, when I look back at "hot dog and mac and cheese night," which we only had when my dad was traveling, i am glad my mom took a fucking break and phoned it in. and we all loved that shit. honestly same for nights my mom was gone and my dad handed us a few bills to order pizza.
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stop wringing your hands about HRT. life and aging are irreversible changes. the things that happen to our bodies from stress, playing sports, accidents, pregnancy, pollution, taking medications, getting sick...this is all really just about controlling trans ppl. just say that.
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did i write today? no! but did i read? also no! but did i make peanut butter filled cookies? yes, i did.
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i wish i saw more cis men talking about abortion and how vital it is to their relationships, friendships, families, and communities. i also wish the binary way abortion care was discussed could finally evolve to be inclusive of all the people who want and need this healthcare.
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“5!!??!!?? I’m 5!!!!!!!!” -youngest kid hearing about the vaccine approval
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i am especially irritated by the conversation around "fertility" and testosterone. some trans ppl with ovaries and uteruses struggle to get pregnant, as do cis people. it helps no one to parrot evidence-lacking umbrella statements about T and fertility.
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hello world. my kids pooled their allowance money and designed and bought me these pride-themed custom vans with a family pic on them.
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folding 10,000 loads of laundry so that my family will have clothes for about 36 hours.
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i happen to think being trans and v v v pregnant is a fabulous look
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take T forever! get bottom surgery! do you! address gyn issues you have! seriously, love it! but also like, don't falsely tell ppl they're infertile. was literally told by my REI that it "likely doesn't matter" i took T for 4.5 years if i want to have another baby.
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obsessed with this pic my 10yo took of probably the last time we will be able to go to a restaurant for a very long time 😬 been 16 years to the day since i agreed to try out dating this cute girl from my rugby team.
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can we end journalists' use of ", who uses they/them pronouns,"
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i love to be edited. please reign in my sentences for me. please show me where i'm not making sense. thank you editors.
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finally had my baby last night at home with unbelievable support and with all my kids watching on. i am so grateful for the incredible care i’ve gotten and for getting to have a 🎃 cake donut in my own bed while holding my baby. we named her anna after my favorite person on 🌍
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please send
@splitlipthemag
your most wonderful 2k or less memoir/essayish jawn. we will treat it with care and wonder. we like everything, just make it good as heck. read our archive if you don't believe me.
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so now...we can’t go anywhere with our kids bc no one will be wearing masks? i mean we are cautious but i have gone to a museum and bookstore with them. this sucks. kids are part of the world.
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the first time i was pregnant all i wanted was to see other pregnant and birthing trans people. a few people risked coming through. seeing their generous images made me feel so validated. i'm not as brave as some of those other-app dads of yore but i am comfortable sharing this.
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framing massive school closures as “because of staff shortages” not “bc of the 🦠” puts the blame on the people who taught our children and caught the virus anyway, and sucks
#phled
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to be all earnest on main could use well wishes as i trans again into a dude doing IVF. been thinking about how and when to write about it all (gasp, should i start a newsletter!?) and i know i will but for now it’s lil blue pill time.
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@RecordScratch
hmmm this is one kid but ok. this kid’s older brother went to school at 5 knowing no letters. **whispers** kids are different!
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**joking with 7yo about how 8yo is my favorite kid**
7yo: ok but if you didn't make me, what would your first book even have been about? how much you like coffee?
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ok y'all tell me how do people write a second book? bonus points if you have a 9-5 that completely drains your lifeblood
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this is so fucking grim. anyone who supports this, or supports anyone who supports this, is a fucking monster.
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@beccasaltz
to me my pregnancy clarified that i can make choices about my body that might have outcomes i don't want or like but that that doesn't mean i shouldn't be empowered to make them?
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oh my word, it exists in physical form. having this archive of so much of my life in my hands is something else to pep up a drizzly workday. the folks at
@CounterpointLLC
really took my wild indesign files and made this beautiful object.
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HELLO I wrote a BOOK. I am so frickin excited about this thing.
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omg i randomly wandered into a panel about narrative structure in nonfiction and one of the presenters is talking about one of my essays 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
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was in the co-op buying beer and ice cream and a stranger warmly told me, "i think i'm reading your book!" and after a long pause i said, "i guess that's possible." what is my problem
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in my opinion everyone who likes this should buy my memoir
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lots of people sharing that "don't breastfeed in public" tweet and honestly...it just makes me sad how little info people have about what newborn behavior and infant feeding is like. very stark underscoring of the deep isolation parents [mostly moms] go through in early days.
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due date! my other gestational child is, like me, a “show up early with a 10 -15 minute anxiety buffer” child who was born at a polite 39+0, so hoping this ends soon, and that i am spared a fourth perpetually tardy housemate 😂
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would love to get an absolute onslaught of memoir submissions to
@splitlipthemag
, especially marginalized folks doing super cool things with form and structure. please inject some wonder into my world rn.
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at pride//wishing every beautiful trans person had as much reproductive freedom and bodily autonomy and love as i've had. we deserve it all.
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one thing not a lot of the comments are touching on is that it’s incredibly rare for a non-specialized private school to enroll or support disabled kids, so choosing those schools means an overwhelmingly abled environment that doesn’t reflect our world at all
I also get really irritated by "you should send your kids to bad public schools because people like you doing that is what makes them into good public schools". I'm willing to make a lot of sacrifices for my community. Wronging my kids isn't one of them.
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**whispers** ppl of all genders can and do have babies and families and want and need family leave.
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people who work in k-12 ed are not ok right now, myself included
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my! partner! is! getting! the! vaccine! tomorrow!
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abortion is good and i will always fight for it. and i sour a little on every person who conflates pregnancy, abortion, and birth with womanhood. i really remember every person who erases us. you could just not.
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@tylachelleco
yes but honestly...i probably notice a lot more in straight media. i approach it with a more critical lens. whenever there are queer things happening i feel relief/excitement and i know my good critical thinking self can get lazy on me. it's not ok but i def have to work harder.
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so like virtual readings are still gonna be a thing when we are all vaccinated right? bc my three small children are going nowhere and i cannot bring them to 8pm readings.
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my dad signs all his emails to me regards, and then his name. he read the book. he signed the email love, dad.
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just got back from a few days in a cabin with my fam. most trans ppl i know have the age they couldn’t imagine making it to. well, mine was 35 and i spent my 35th birthday in the woods eating ice cream and reading the idiot in a day. now to figure out my unimagined future. 🎂
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so much of parenting is ppl handing you their trash
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parenting hack: if i send my kids upstairs “to play” they try to kill each other. if i send them “to clean your rooms” they play nicely bc they should be doing something else. follow me here for more tips.
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came to the museum basically mostly to visit this painting
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38 weeks and if i am gonna catch a lot of looks waddling around the neighborhood i might as well catch them while wearing this
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how many resources for houseless folks in NY could have been purchased with whatever the FUCK it cost to build this monstrosity
They rode up on this vehicle. Has anyone seen anything like this before?
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idk. my 4 kids, engagement with my community, hobbies, and leisure time are not a "distraction." they're the things that contribute as much to my good writing as the writing itself.
The most important lesson I ever learned as a writer:
When I was 28 I was at a bar on a Friday night. My friends and I were dancing and getting wasted and having an amazing night, when I looked around and noticed that my buddy Clark was missing.
I asked my buddy Jeremy, “Hey
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in good trans news, i have a consult with a trans midwife tomorrow. maybe it won't be a great fit but the idea of not having a cis person deliver my baby is kinda incredible at this particular moment
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getting a bill for the pitocin you needed to kickstart the labor to deliver a baby who would die within two hours even though you needed an abortion and couldn't get it. fiction can't touch this cruelty.
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Needed a small W today. And it's a 2500 word thing, my first non-flash essay since forever.
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i was one of Those Ppl who did all the reading in college, except i had the flu the week this was assigned. let’s see what i missed
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it’s not a perfect book or the book i would write today. but i am proud that a book “like this” (in more ways than one) was born two years ago today. its time in the world has brought me unexpected joys and opportunities and i feel very grateful.
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if i wrote my book now it’d be a really different book. that is one of the great and a little sad things about memoir, i think.
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when i get home from clinic today there will be a carvel cake and kids celebrating the birth of my memoir. grateful to all who read and supported the book but especially to my family who believe in me and the power of telling stories about us and the way we make and take space.
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been dad-ing for 11 years today! nothing makes me feel older than seeing what a baby i was the day my first was born.
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def entering the “pretty darn pregnant” phase 😬 😬 😬
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There should be contingency planning for access to lactation spaces (which should not have a gendered name.) Emptying lactating breasts is a bodily need that can lead to discomfort, pain, infection, and illness if not addressed. Disappointed!
If you are in possession of one of the keys for the Nursing Mothers’ room, please return it to the help desk.
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one thing i will say is i don’t like takes like “be horrified they told school before you.” it’s actually simply great for kids to find adults to come out to. parents need to realize they’re not the be all end all of adult support. as long as we get right on board, great!
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the idea that the nuclear family is the base of or even only support for queer kids is really harmful. bless the adults who exist outside that structure who love trans kids.
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“breastfeeding is free,” he whispers, contemplating bills for a lactation consultant visit and tongue tie revision, trying to figure out how to get insurance to pay for a breast pump, and calculating with a grimace the value of his time 🐄
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started the year here wishing for it to be better than 2021 in any way. was in the throes of fertility treatment and in a big artistic slump. pubbed 4 essays this year, 3 from my WIP, and am holding a baby i got out of me and have managed to feed for 56 days. have hope for 2023.
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today in memories: in kindergarten this was my oldest’s image of what an author looked like
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if you are a parent and you make art, you should apply for a
@SustainableArts
grant. opened today. before i had a book or even more than a scant handful of pubs i got one of these grants, which was such a financial and honestly morale boost:
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short books are my jam. to write, to read, to look at on a perfect lil bookshelf
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@OddPursuits
it’s quite fine to want to have a kid, just not to wish speedy infertility on someone because they won’t be proceating with you.
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where to pitch the essay about how my local donut shop has kept my mental health afloat in the last year
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5 years ago the state said ok i guess you two are the parents of this hurricane of children
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last night autistic kid asked me if i've ever thought about writing about "raising a kid with autism" and i told him that i don't think that's either my story to tell or central to how i think of him or my parenting. we had a great discussion. anyway his memoir is forthcoming.
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my partner signed up for a beginner-level virtual poetry class and the other day when she told our 6yo she was going upstairs to sign on to poetry class kid was like, MOM YOU WRITE POETRY!? THAT IS SO COOL! love that energy, we all need that level of writing encouragement
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today in baking 6 months ago i pushed out a human and have weirdly kept her alive with milk i make this whole time and her siblings insisted we throw her a party so i baked a halfa cake to celebrate.
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i remember seeing this in 2019, so fucked. and yet it is extra layers of disheartening that we have to be like “and someone died” to justify giving trans ppl absolutely basic amounts of credibility in a medical setting.
In 2019, a pregnant transgender man arrived in an ER with severe abdominal pain. He informed the hospital he was trans and pregnant, but staff ignored him, assuming it was a heart condition. He later delivered a stillborn baby.
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my jawn got a star
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3.5 days postpartum, voting because no one should ever be in the condition i’m in unless they want to be
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finally blocked by antivaxx aunt. this is what did it. can’t believe it took this long.
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i see the lit mag publishing convo happening rn forking, one side saying publish a million pieces anywhere you like, the other, hoard work and only publish in the fanciest journals. for me a strategy that sits between these works really nicely.
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an entire book tried and fell far short of capturing the meaning of this force of nature in my life. on his bday we go out to dinner just the two of us. he loves food like me. he’s 8 today. in a way, i am too.
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my baby's donor got to meet her today. love his steady, quiet presence throughout my entire adult life. donor conception is fraught and trying to make space for all the directions it can take in my kids' lives is pretty important to me. so donuts/hold baby time felt real special.
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thank you so much
@britnidlc
and
@nprbooks
for this review. took off my day job today to play nintendo and get a haircut and work out and eat treats and this was a great way to kick off the day.
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my kids are splashing in a baby pool full of frigid rain water and calling it "playing in lake superior"
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Samson takes the best pics of me which feels very magical 💫
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**whispers** and anti-formula sentiment is also deeply anti-queer fams
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help me understand what this…means. why are we always trying to play their game. want to be a boy, am a boy, idk and idc, T was just what i wanted to do and i deserved to do it
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today i am the most pregnant i have ever been, bc this baby is apparently cooking longer than the last/full of scorpio energy, and gotta say, i am really just very ready for a beer
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