Katiebobs
@kmontaguekate
Followers
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Following
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@katiebobs.bsky.social
One mile away
Joined March 2019
Please don’t fill this online form with a joke name and email address, it would really mess with their data harvesting.
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Dear Nadine,. It is with deep sadness that I am writing to you to resign as your parody account. It has been an enormous privilege to serve under you and I will always be proud that the public were unable to distinguish between us, even when I was at my most ridiculous. 1/2.
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However, it has come to my attention in recent weeks and months that, for exactly this reason, my presence here is no longer necessary: you yourself have become a more hilarious parody account than I could ever hope to be and I am redundant. 2/3.
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I love Gary Lineker. Retweet if you love Gary Lineker. Like if you like Gary Lineker.
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You can get braised venison in a red wine jus with roasted fennel, artichoke and dauphinois potatoes for 30p in the House of Commons restaurant. Why can’t they learn to budget and cook like that?.
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So it is with a heavy heart that I have come to the decision that we must go our separate ways. I wish you well in your future endeavours, you have given me many a LOL and a LMFAO and for that I will always be grateful. Yours,.Katherine Ja18583649.
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Cambridge educated Head of the Civil Service Simon Case, who spent 3 years in the public records office researching and writing his PhD on The Joint Intelligence Committee, “accidentally” deleted 9 group WhatsApp chats even though he knew there would be a public inquiry.
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A spokesman for the Metropolitan Police has confirmed that their new policy of arresting people who may possibly commit a crime in the future is a natural and logical progression from not investigating any crimes that happened in the past.
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Nadhim Zahawi enjoys my full support as Chairman of the Conservative party. In terms of honesty, integrity and ethical conduct, nobody embodies our values better than Nadhim.
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UPDATE: I have too much material about the (totally fictional) sexploits of our hero Jorris Bonson for one book and have decided to write a trilogy. It will be called House of Cummings. Follow for advance snippets and pls comment if you have any ideas for book/chapter titles.Ta x.
I’m writing a bonkbuster about (totally IMAGINARY) sexy events in Westminster. What should it be called?.
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The Conservative Party believe that opera is for everyone. I’m an opera buff as well as a scouser from a working-class background and I absolutely love The Barber of Figaro.
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I’ve seen a post on X that Nigel Farage @Nigel_Farage has been arrested for committing lewd acts with enormous vegetables stolen from Wetwang village fête. Don’t know if it’s true, but it raises legitimate questions. Police haven’t commented!. Are we being told everything?.
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Last night we pushed through a bill to bring the Electoral Commission under our control. It's only another nail in the coffin of democracy, so don't expect to see it mentioned in the news.
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This is the big story. Don’t be distracted by poison emails to wedding guests, dead cat stories in his friends’ newspapers or perfectly timed new babies.
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Kind of ironic that I used to go on protest marches against Margaret Thatcher’s government in the 80s and now I love nothing more than pretending to be her.
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@NadineDorries I get very suspicious when one politician fervently backs another, worshipping them openly and ignoring all the evidence of their terrible behaviour. I always ask myself, what’s in it for them?.
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@NadineDorries In a Times poll, 98% of respondents agreed that people were cheering for Boris 😌
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Dear everyone,. I am not John Redwood. That is all. Thanks.
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Dominic Raab enjoys my full support as Deputy Prime Minister, Lord Chancellor and Secretary of State for Justice. In terms of kindness, compassion, competence and integrity, nobody embodies our values better than Dominic.
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I was absolutely horrified by the behaviour of pro-Palestine demonstrators towards Michael Gove in Victoria Station yesterday. Not one of them called him a snivelling little asswipe or told him to go fuck himself.
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@NadineDorries It’s bullying to call him Boohiss Johnson or tweet #BringYourOwnBoos. Anyone who does this will have their internet turned off as soon my new bill passes!!!! 😡.
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@DavidMa95741228 Thank you David. I shall try to find someone slightly less ridiculous to parody.
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@NadineDorries Honest, trustworthy and reliable, he was the most popular PM of all time and the finest man I’ve ever blown.
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@johnredwood Dear John,. It is with deep sadness that I am writing to you to resign as your parody account. It has been an enormous privilege to serve under you and I will always be proud that the public were unable to distinguish between us, even when I was at my most ridiculous. 1/2.
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@NadineDorries @BorisJohnson @RishiSunak In case anyone’s in any doubt, what I’m saying is that if @BorisJohnson goes down we’re bringing @RishiSunak down with us.
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@Parody_PM You’re gorgeous to me squidgy. Can’t wait to say Happy Birthday to Johnson Jr later 😘.
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@SuellaBraverman “Prioritising freedom of expression” said with zero irony just 3 days after 36 Conservative MPs and peers write to the BBC demanding that Gary Lineker either apologise or be sacked.
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@NadineDorries This is definitely not happening because we hate Channel 4 for criticising us.
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@BBCFLauraKT @DPJHodges Obviously I’d be sorely missed as Culture Secretary but I’d be willing to step up if the country needs me.
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No one can say that Boris hasn’t fulfilled his aims of uniting the country and the party.
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@NadineDorries @joelycett Since we MPs have given ourselves massive pay rises while refusing to give them to public sector workers, maybe some of us should donate 10k to charity this Christmas too.
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@NadineDorries @BorisJohnson Great article Nads. If anyone knows about egregious abuse of power it’s you x.
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@MrBenWasTheBest @johnredwood Redundancy among parody accounts is at a record high under this government.
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@NadineDorries If I had £50 for every time I had a brief gathering in the cabinet room with the PM I’d be a billionaire.
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@wesstreeting That’s why I’m tendering my resignation👇.
Dear Nadine,. It is with deep sadness that I am writing to you to resign as your parody account. It has been an enormous privilege to serve under you and I will always be proud that the public were unable to distinguish between us, even when I was at my most ridiculous. 1/2.
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Ba bye Andrea Jenkins 👋 👋
LATEST SEAT PREDICTION: MORLEY AND OUTWOOD. LAB GAIN FROM CON @andreajenkyns.MAJ: 9%. [UKPR Default] .
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@nadhimzahawi I came to this country with very little and it has given me everything. I returned the favour by avoiding tax and making the taxpayer fund the cost of heating my stables. And of course, choosing to deport to Rwanda those who, like me, came to the UK with very little.
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@johnredwood So it is with a heavy heart that I have come to the decision that we must go our separate ways. With your unique takes on Brexit, the NHS, climate change and fracking you have given me many a LOL and a LMFAO. For that I will always be grateful. Yours,.Ex John Redwood MP Parody.
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@johnredwood It’s a shame drivel isn’t an energy source- come rain or shine you provide 100% of our daily requirement by 9am.
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@NadineDorries @BorisJohnson Yep our covid strategy is going great, just as we planned the country is rife with infections and millions have long covid. And Rwanda is going swimmingly apart from being widely condemned, even by Tories, and a grand total of 0 people deported so far 👍.
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@Otto_English @GuidoFawkes Guido has inside info because his dad was a toolmaker too. Guido was his masterpiece.
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Dear Followers,.I am delighted to announce that I WILL be running for the orafice of Prime Minister of Great Britain and the United Kingdom! 🇬🇧🏴🇩🇰🇫🇮.
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If you have a burning question for me like “when will my village get wideband?” or “where can I find a good golf rink?” call LBC tomorrow from 7pm. Anyone can call & I promise to answer all questions*. *No calls from mean bullies James O’Brien & John Nicholson. No maths questions.
What would you like to ask Nadine Dorries?. The Culture Secretary joins Rachel Johnson to take your calls on LBC. Watch live on @GlobalPlayer from 7pm on Sunday. @RachelSJohnson | @NadineDorries
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@NadineDorries Sorry, I misspoke. Durham Police have already investigated this and found no laws were broken. They are not currently reinvestigating, despite this being reported in the Daily Mail, they issued a statement to confirm this a couple of days ago. My apologies to Angela and Sir Keir.
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@SuellaBraverman CPS: “it is extremely important that there should be no reporting or commentary which could prejudice the proceedings of the MET police officer on trial for murder.”. Leaky Sue: “Hey everyone, read my opinion on this piece on police shootings in the Telegraph”
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@johnredwood However, it has come to my attention in recent weeks and months that, for exactly this reason, my presence here is no longer necessary: you yourself have become a more hilarious parody account than I could ever hope to be and I am redundant. 2/3.
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Gas and electricity cost too much in the UK. We need some sort of mechanism to limit the amount that consumers pay for their energy.
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Michael Fabricant has changed his name. Can anybody read foreign? What does it mean? (Wrong answers only please)
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@SimonClarkeMP @BorisJohnson The Prime Minister’s presence in Kyiv is absolutely vital. He is NOT using Ukraine as a human shield!.
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I’m delighted to announce that we have replaced the 20,000 police officers that we cut between 2010 and 2017. Please don’t ask about the cost of redundancy payments, recruitment or training.
In 2019 we promised to recruit 20,000 additional police officers in England and Wales to make our streets safer and protect communities. Today, I’m pleased to say we have delivered that promise.
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Steady descent into fascism update: UK doctors involved in climate protest face threat of being struck off
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@MrJohnNicolson @Baddiel I take my responsibility for spreading disinformation very seriously 😌.
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@NadineDorries He was a true statesman, a great sportsman, a wonderful dancer and a generous, tender lover.
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@BorisJohnson @Conservatives Why are so many Conservative councillors rebranding themselves as “local conservatives”? And so many Conservative MPs have taken Conservative out of their social media bios, it’s almost like they’re ashamed of us or something 🤷🏼♀️.
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We have a Hindu Prime Minister, a Christian Chancellor, a Buddhist Home Secretary and a Jewish Business Secretary. What unites us is that we’re all dim-witted heartless Tory gits.
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@NadineDorries If I seem desperate it is NOT because internal Tory polling says we’re going to take a hammering on Thursday and then Johnson’s time will be up and I know that nobody else on earth would ever let me be a minister.
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@Parody_PM @BorisJohnson @AngelaRayner Maybe he’s finally realised that the minister for culture, sport, media and digital stuff is a social media genius 🔥.
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A wonderful time watching the first division motorcar racing at Silverstone. A fantastic day out, no wonder RuPaul loves it so much! 🙂🏎🏎 🎉🎉🥇🏆🍾🥂.
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@trussliz @Conservatives Hmmmm maybe we shouldn’t complain about other countries breaking legally binding commitments babe x.
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@andreajenkyns @SuellaBraverman A brief summary for asylum-seekers whose first language may not be English:
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🇬🇧 83 years ago today, Winston Churchill stepped into Downing Street as Prime Minister. He served as a beacon of hope and defended the free world against fascism. We shall celebrate his legacy by detaining asylum seekers in huge prison camps and deporting them to Rwanda.
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🚨Since the passing of the Police, Crime and Sentencing Bill, it is now illegal to heckle someone. If you hear a heckler, it’s fine to assault them. In fact, you’ll be saving the police a job. They will be arrested and you’ll get away scot-free 👍
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Coming to The Grand Theatre Blackpool this Christmas, in the first ever Aladdin hybrid show, don’t miss Widow Wankey and Dick Fuckwittington
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@NadineDorries @ChrisMasonBBC I think I convinced everybody that selling Channel 4 is a great idea even though it doesn’t cost the taxpayer a penny and makes about a billion a year for the UK economy.
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We should not erase important figures from history, no matter how awful the atrocities they committed.
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@NadineDorries @BorisJohnson More importantly though, it means she’s going to go ahead with the Online Safety Bill so people won’t be able to take the piss out of me any more.
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@chris_kitcher @TonesVanessa If you saw me on a night out in Liverpool you wouldn’t be calling me a lightweight.
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Why are British newspapers still supportive of Johnson despite all his failures? Could it be because ‘Boris Johnson’s Government has been quietly paying millions per month as a special “Covid subsidy” to the big newspaper groups for nearly two years.'
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@susannareid100 Please be aware that this is a private scam, not the official government one.
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@SteveBarclay Health Minister speaking via The Daily Express rather than engaging directly says stop playing politics.
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