Kirby @kirby profile | Musk Viewer

Kirby

@kirby

Followers

391

Following

260

Media

315

Statuses

2,665

Joined June 2009

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Kirby

@kirby

9 years

TSA needs BO sniffing dogs. What I went through thanks to 12A should be considered an act of terror

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Kirby

@kirby

11 years

My chick fil a sandwich looks like Africa. http://t.co/Rgft9pfcFb

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

@chrissyteigen OMG Candy Corn on the Cob!! http://t.co/4ANuyOKK

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Kirby

@kirby

9 years

Double rainbow! #dc http://t.co/7zxJW0wrGe

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Kirby

@kirby

11 years

Man brought his own space heater to Starbucks? http://t.co/sj8FJzGZdi

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

@chrissyteigen A picture is worth at least 9 words. http://t.co/DS3is24f

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

Really? So you're starving a child by sending me 6 cents and will not feed them until I return this money? http://t.co/N72MARk14N

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

@chrissyteigen Not Born in Quinoa Salad. #electionpartyfood #gottasaythisonealoud

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

McDonalds Japan #19 . Fries taste the same, no clue on sandwich, she said cheese demi-glaze? Sort of like mac and cheese http://t.co/EqZeQ2Ai

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Kirby

@kirby

11 years

Mooooon http://t.co/svnXTUd2HM

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

@chrissyteigen Here's a message from your future child: http://t.co/VQAtZzYL

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

@chrissyteigen You planned this Tweet didn't you. Except you're not in the sea. http://t.co/yY4LYSry

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Kirby

@kirby

11 years

People who think they know everything are particularly aggravating to those of us who do.

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

@chrissyteigen I can't tell if I like alcohol or I just enjoy hangovers.

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Kirby

@kirby

11 years

Genius at work http://t.co/PFQd8Y1Txs

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

Expect a call on 3/14/15 at 9:26:53 AM “ @chrissyteigen : Call me on march 14th, 2015 when pi day makes a little more sense.”

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Kirby

@kirby

11 years

The one day a year gingers have souls.

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

Just realized it's Thursday and not Friday. Womp womp :-(

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

I am dying in laughter. And I'm going to hell. #poorbambismom http://t.co/CxUxpvaH

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Kirby

@kirby

11 years

Philly you're creepy. http://t.co/qODLNK1EoU

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Kirby

@kirby

11 years

@chrissyteigen Toddlers in Tiaras on Survivor.

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

The ass of this girls pants say Pinch me I'm irish. I'm debating if I should. Common sense says no, but who needs common sense?

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

He resigned. He hasn't died yet. I hope my retirement party isn't like this.

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Kirby

@kirby

11 years

If I were a candy I'd be sugar free jelly beans. Have too much of me and you get diarrhea.

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Kirby

@kirby

11 years

If a grown man calls another grown man boy, it's insulting, unless it's 'boiiiiii'

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

Homeless woman told me if she wasn't so strung out right now she would 'fuck me raw' - nicest thing anyone has said to me all day!

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

@DonaldJTrumpJr Ron Paul for Del Boca Vista Condo Board President!

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

Meanwhile, us humans have Teen Mom http://t.co/8RCBMDDt

Raccoon Baby Rescue, Rehydration, and Reunion

This story shows the strength of the maternal bond between a raccoon mother and her young. A homeowner had his chimney and furnace flues capped- inadvertentl...

www.youtube.com

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

One more week here :-( http://t.co/phSEDlFX

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

@gage_cd @chrissyteigen OMG is that @thrissyceigen ?

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

Jimmy has 35 candy bars, he eats 28. What does Jimmy have? Diabetes. Jimmy has diabetes. HAHAHAHAHA

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

I read this sign as "Eat Holy & Go Cow" - took me awhile to figure it out. http://t.co/ute9k5c2

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Kirby

@kirby

11 years

No Barbie no! http://t.co/sTG0Z3qXZ8

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

Oh Hooters China. How I miss you. http://t.co/3x42NJjT

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

I watch Fox News every now and then to renew my faith in the fact that God has a sense of humor.

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one.

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

@alecbaldwin Newt's the floater that just won't go down.

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

@ninadobrev If there was one trend in the past decade that she could remove from history, what would it be?

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

I'm also knee deep in hipsters and I want to vomit

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

@AnnieAreYouOhK Booze. Lots and lots of booze. And the bladder of an elephant.

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

I remember my dream! I was skipping work to go on a safari in Antarctica except there were frogs and snakes. Also, it is underneath a mall.

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

Damn and I was here looking for the dirty gay wet massage. http://t.co/EdMb7ku0

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

Drinking, and work events are the best and worst combinations ever.

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Kirby

@kirby

1 year

@attywzd Arg just missed it 😭

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

All I have to say is today its easier to get a gun than to get proper mental health care.

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

@AnnieAreYouOhK Pineapple and papaya sinigang. Did not know this stuff existed but amazing. http://t.co/KJHprDU9

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

So bringing back Ricky Gervais means hiding him in the back and not letting him speak?

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

So how much turd am I supposed to put into a turducken?

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

This headline almost made me cry @giants http://t.co/Ooc7yyQo

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

@chrissyteigen So would squirrel everyday be fine for you? http://t.co/ew1bkEwr

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

This bag of Sun Chips sums up my day. http://t.co/kQ2ipXPY

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

How many @square employees does it take to drive @jack to the airport? 4. God knows why.

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

What? " @questlove : "Kirby?.......KIIIIIIIRBY!!!!!.......---oh Kirbster?""

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

Every Asian male is going to be Psy for Halloween.

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

Listening to @johnlegend on @pandora at work when an audio ad for vibrators comes on. Now I must use headphones. http://t.co/gjcw8hfd

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

@chrissyteigen Ask them what happened to Agent K.

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

@chrissyteigen "I may be a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, but I LOVE bacon" http://t.co/3hQ9nMoX

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

@chrissyteigen Uhh... please explain this. http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/8238380/man-dressed-as-mannequin-found-in-mall-toilet

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

IKEA!

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

This will be my home for the next 14 hours. Then Manila! http://t.co/OcnbXXv1

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

If we want to stick to the original laws of our founding fathers, let's 'preserve America' by bringing back Prohibition and slavery.

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

Ay dios mios Sofia Vergara!

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

Is Golden Globe nominee a title that goes on with you forever? I plan to invoke kindergarten class president for the rest of my life.

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

You know what's better than birthday sex? I-got-fucking-reelected sex.

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

Too cold. Too cold.

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

Mmmmm cheap Mexican food http://t.co/IQo7HAJ9

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

Get in my belly! http://t.co/BJsmZQCu

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

Jessica Biel and Ben Kingsley? WTF is going on?

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Kirby

@kirby

11 years

WHY IS CHOCO TACO ONLY #3 ? http://t.co/zQhLPdsz7t

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Kirby

@kirby

11 years

I hope this isn't real. Belgian Man Discovers Wife of 19 Years Is A ‘He’ http://t.co/lhTxAP3T1b

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

@Jenna_Marbles WTH is that on the right, is that someone looking in your window?

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

Ay caramba Selma Hayek!

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Kirby

@kirby

4 years

@singkirbysing @_liab__ You don't know maybe this squirrel photo was the motivation for her workout 🤷‍♂️

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Kirby

@kirby

13 years

Simply horrible. http://t.co/fJQ8MkIi

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Kirby

@kirby

11 years

Russia you confuse me. http://t.co/gon4jQFoCT

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

Paradise http://t.co/IdZSu2ZD

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Kirby

@kirby

12 years

Cannot explain what I am looking at. http://t.co/imwcPjcV

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