Pre-scene conversation.
@bound247
: What turns you on, boy?
me: umm, bondage and popper.
bound247: EVERY fucking boy loves bondage and popper... What ELSE??
me: pup play?
bound247: ...
me: my nipples are kinda sensitive...
bound247: Now we are talking!
If you intentionally seek a minority play partner for a scene without informing your use of race play elements, and refuse to be responsible when the victim called out your behavior, you are not only a racist but a predator.
A white, cismale kinkster should of course enjoy a consensual scene, but he bears a special responsibility that comes with his privileged race and gender. This reflection should be essential, but itโs especially important when he plays with a minority kinkster.
โLetโs leave politics out of the bedroomโ is just like โBlueLifeMattersโ in that they ignore the uneven trauma minorities have suffered under systematic racism. Both represent a racistโs shameless acknowledgment of their ignorance and indifference to human suffering.
Asking help can be hard; asking oneโs Dom for help is harder. But nobody can read minds (yet). Itโs important for anyone engaged in power exchange to find the right style of communication.
Tellingly, the topโs profile has this line, โLetโs leave politics out of the bedroom.โ Without a sense of irony, he then quotes a line from the adamant anti-racist, Stephen Fry, โI am offended that you are offended.โ
My friend followed up with messaging explaining why he felt traumatized, but the top insisted that he did nothing wrong. In a passive-aggressive manner, he instead blamed my friend for being too fragile.