Kevin Twomey
@Kevin2mey
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gay and lispy x | One half of @imgrandmam ✨ he/him 💫 📍London/Cork 🇵🇸
Joined July 2012
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the devil works hard but the percy pig product development team at M&S work harder
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me aged 9 at a birthday party going up to my friend’s mam to say goodbye and that I’d a great time so she’d remember to give me a party bag
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just got quoted £850 for a new porcelain crown and I’m so traumatised I messaged a dentist I matched with years ago on tinder and said ‘how’s you’
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head of social media at Kensington palace using the AI photo generator for the first time
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people saying it’s Olivia Coleman has me in spirals
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Britney will officially be a free woman on November 12th and this should be the date for the new bank holiday in Ireland, in this essay I will…
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crying at the roses my mam got for me and my brothers...guess which one is mine 😭
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my toxic trait is visiting a new city and convincing myself my life would be way better if I lived there
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when is paul mescal related content going to stop showing up on my Instagram explore page it’s been 2 months but also not complaining
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the only reason home printers are still in use is for Irish parents to print off their boarding passes
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girls the main character energy I was just giving when I got off my easyJet flight at Malta airport and separated from all the Br*ts to join the EU queue love that for me
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why is soup and a sambo not a thing in England like are ye thick
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I finally came out to my barber which means I’ll never have to talk about football or boxing or birds or pints AGAIN the relief is overwhelming
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‘the most annoying thing about the brits is that they refer to dessert as pudding what’s that about?’ - my mam, unprovoked.
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someone just referred to the happy pe*r as Vegward and I can’t stop laughing 😭😭
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every time i go to dublin my mam tells me about the woman who got blown off the hapenny bridge and warns me not to go near it
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when you’re selecting your reason for return on asos they should give the option ‘tried it on and it made me depressed and I ended up not even going out’
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not me and my bestie being on the Christmas cover of Life magazine 🥺
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had to bring this back again because of the date and because it’s my favourite thing ever
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“I wish I had Olivia Rodrigo when I was 15” you had Car Wash by Christina Aguilera feat. Missy Elliot you ungrateful piece of shit
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couples who’d be risking life and limb to sit next to each other on a flight it’s an hour to Dublin get a GRIP
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my mam uses the terms gay and vegan interchangeably like quite often she’ll refer to someone as a vegan and I’ll be like no mam they’re just gay
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I fancy this boy so much I’ve found his spotify account and I’m listening to all his playlists and forcing myself to like the same songs help
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me age 29 still trying to get away with a child fare on bus éireann
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the amount of steps In Edinburgh is sending me sideways I feel like I’m in an episode of takeshi’s castle
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what’s your favourite word from the junior cert geography syllabus? mine’s tombolo x
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I can’t stop thinking about whether Enoch had a packed lunch in his satchel yesterday and whether his dad made his sandwiches
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I never post pics of myself on Twitter but I felt so cute in my birthday outfit yesterday that I feel compelled to x
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me trying to secure a decent tip when I used to work in hospitality and had to serve a table of americans
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I knew I was gay from an early age because I used to LOVE skipping and I was fab at it like skip skip skip skipping everywhere
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me in the airport if my suitcase isn’t one of the first ones out on the belt: nah they’ve fucked it it’s gone
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this man is having a heart attack!! is anyone here a doctor?!
me: i’m from Cork!!
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met two girls in town today who listen to the podcast and when I was leaving them I said ‘keep rocking the vibes’ and now I won’t sleep tonight thinking about it
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boarding my flight and someone just goes ‘KEVIN ARE YOU GOING ON THE DATE’
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there is an unmistakable energy exuded by air hostesses walking through an airport en route to their gate it’s honestly one of my favourite things to witness
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hey now hey now this is what dreams are made of
As they celebrate the 100th episode of their hit podcast,
@imgrandmam
's
@PJkirby_
and
@Kevin2mey
will be on the couch!
#LateLate
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okay kinda obsessed
Pride Month. To celebrate Pride Month we are spotlighting queer Irish voices and friends of Brown Thomas.
Visit Irish artist
@emmaleneblake
portrait of
#ImGrandMam
@Kevin2mey
@PJkirby_
on Clarendon Street.
Brown Thomas proudly supports the LGBTQI+ community.
#Pride
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this message from my mam in the family chat sent me into orbit but nothing could have prepared me for the last line 😭
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my mam’s not talking to me because I didn’t bless myself when we were driving past the church in Douglas
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before the Late Late started the other night Ryan asked the audience if they had any questions and my mam asked him what size shirt he wears
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me waking up this morning after doing 12 pubs with a candelabra that I took from pub 6
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do Ryanair pilots skip the last module on landing the plane at fly school
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okay werk
David Clifford kicks a point as Kerry advance to the All Ireland final
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what about my brother putting ‘to Meghan from Shane’ on the card to his girlfriend for Christmas I actually can’t with Irish lads
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doing my tax lads and the total I’ve spent on coffee in the last year is making me HYPERVENTILATE and I’m doing all this whilst drinking an oat flat white in an overpriced coffee shop 😭😭
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some of you were never threatened with a wooden spoon when you were younger and it shows
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the most stressful part of being home is the fact that my family has a house phone and I’m just expected to answer it if it rings not knowing who’s going to be on the other side? so embarrassing
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pandemonium at christmas mass as children realise I’m chester the jester from the panto
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if you ever catch me posting a pic from Dubai call the police x
What’s a city everyone seems to hype up but for some reason you simply have no interest in visiting?
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@DeepFriedBri
and you’ve made your entire personality about being a spiteful miserable bitch🥰 I really hope you’re kinder to yourself than you are to other people ✨
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I can’t cope with how mortified the lads look in cork going around town with bouquets of flowers in their hands 😭😭😭😂
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PJ being named as one of the most stylish men in Ireland is my joker origin story
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on the train down to cork from dublin and the fella beside me just asked if i was up for the match
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😭😭😭
really enjoying Ekin Su’s pronunciation of Limerick on her insta stories 💀
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do you think the girls have removed your one from the xpose group chat or did they start a new one without her?
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nobody:
my hands:🤚🏻👈🏻👐🏻☝🏻👋🏻🖖🏻🤞🏻👊🏻
Hosts of the hilarious
@imgrandmam
podcast joined us this evening and
@Kevin2mey
revealed his ULTIMATE embarrassing story! 😂💩
#SixVMTV
|
@pjkirby_
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my friend was so hungover this morning she started crying in her car when people made way for an ambulance 😭😭
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not to sound dramatic but I don’t think I’d be alive if it wasn’t for my air fryer
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pj left me his expensive mattress so I’ve just hauled mine upstairs and brought his down and it doesn’t fit my bed I’m literally getting sick in my room
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roaring
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I’m giving a talk in my old secondary school this morning and I may as well be back to do the leaving cert my stomach is about to slip out my ass
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cinema
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love being home but everyone just shouts don’t they? Like my family’s default volume level when communicating is shouting and it’s penetrating my brain
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‘You’re not to use this tea towel btw it’s purely decorative’
I feel like my new housemate hates me already
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me: oh yeah I don’t do dairy it’s a lifestyle choice really and oat milk is everything
also me when my mam is making a ham and cheese toastie: gimme
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guys we’re on a nude beach and initially I was traumatised but I’m after a few drinks and now I’m tempted to whip out my tiny willy
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27 years old but I still get such a bang off riding up the front of a double decker bus
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saw a message on my boyfriend’s phone last night to his friend describing me as ‘angry and shouty’ and I’ve been angry and shouting at him since how dare he
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My dad just told me off for putting up the footrest on the reclining sofa - he told me to put it down and sit on it properly
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I can’t believe I just bumped into
@JamesKavanagh_
and
@williamurrayart
for the first time and I’d a runny nose and chapped lips and the two of them are like VISIONS
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pj never once used a coaster in london and last night in his gaff in dublin he was THROWING them at me
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I’m fairly confident but my god the absolute mortification of having to cross the road at a zebra crossing in front of cars
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the queens turning up in the rain in full drag is so c*nt I love it I love Cork
"We're here to stay/You can't paint the gay away! " - Cork's queer community brave the rain in big numbers to protest the decision by profiteers to close the city's only queer venue.
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he’s a 10 but brings his medium sized dog on a first date and orders it a mackerel and asks to go halves on the bill
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can’t cope with the unrelenting support of the royal family the uk needs to do away with the monarchy now and use Buckingham palace for some gorgey drag brunches at the weekend
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hearing J*mes C*rden’s voice in that friends reunion clip has given me hives and heart burn
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missed PJ today
hangovers are always more bearable when he’s in the house and is hungover too
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down in the marina market and living in fear of cian d*crot appearing and singing in my face
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I know I’m gay because I’m absolutely transfixed when my sister uses her dyson air wrap like I could watch it for hours
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when we did shows when we were younger we were told to put hairspray on our faces to stop our makeup from running with the sweat ahhahahahahahaha
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PJ literally forces his mam to do the coffee tik toks she doesn’t even like coffee and he makes her pay for them pass it on x
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last night a boy said he really likes being close to me and I was like omg cute and then he said it’s because I’m so pale and it makes him look more tanned 🥰
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