Kerry-Anne Gilowey
@kerry_anne
Followers
3,607
Following
1,038
Media
950
Statuses
23,348
You can take the girl out of South Africa but you can't take South Africa out of the girl ❤️🇿🇦
Caen, Normandie
Joined August 2007
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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For every incident I relate on Twitter there are at least another three fingers in eyes, midnight toe stubbings, and blindings by deodorant.
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@Ngist678
@KashJackson2018
@Trevornoah
Less puzzled, more annoyed, tbh.
@KashJackson2018
, white South Africans like me are far less likely to be victims of violent crime than South Africans of other races. Stop peddling your ignorant views, and apologise for erasing the struggles of black people in SA.
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@MaryHowle
@SpacemanEd
@yashar
And threads are SO much easier for me to read, personally! I'll take a thread over a blog post any day. All those neatly confined, individually packaged ideas, and no walls of text to shut my brain down. But maybe that's just my flavour of ADHD. 🤷🏼
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There's an update. I am *crying*. 😂 WE BEAT NEW ZEALAND AT SHEEP-SHEARING 🤣🤣🤣
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For all our government's faults, this makes me so proud to be South African. Meanwhile here in my foster country people are being attacked with water cannons and teargas for expressing solidarity with an oppressed nation.
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@CordialPrince
@MissCWilshire
@MaryHowle
@SpacemanEd
@yashar
It's good to have found my people. 😊 I so often see people complaining about threads in a quite derisive way ("wow, why didn't you just write a blog post? 🙄"), and I wish they could climb into my head for a bit to see how differently I process information in this format.
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The plexiglass is there to protect the cashier. You are not the centre of the universe.
Dear plexiglass,
Thank you for protecting me from the cashier who just touched all of the items I’m about to take home
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I just cried for 10 minutes straight over a TV show – full-body, racking, ugly-cry sobs like a tantrumming toddler. If you have any unresolved grief (or sinus trouble, I guess) Milly Alcock and
@timminchin
in E05 of Upright should sort you right out.
God, this show is perfect.
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White people, can we do more of this, please? Speak up. Be honest. Don't let your racist friends and family spew their jokes and insults and exclusionary ideology without challenge. It's our problem. They are our problem.
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@jameshamblin
A few times, but this was the most effective: I went up to two older men in a grocery store and said EVER SO SWEETLY, with a smile, "Sorry, I don't think you've noticed, but your masks have slipped down." It left them no room for a fight, and they sheepishly pulled them up. 😏
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@safashionweek
Weird, because I wouldn't be proud to announce this line-up. Do you even know which country you're in? Goodness. This complete unwillingness to try just a little harder to represent the majority of our people really needs to come to an end in 2021.
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We the
#Exvangelicals
just collectively fell off our chairs. Who among us does not adore Mark Ruffalo?! I feel so seen, and by the hulk, no less. I can't wait for the Avengers movie where they destroy the Evangelical church in order to save the world.
(High five,
@C_Stroop
!)
#Exvangelicals
are doing great work to stop right-wing authoritarianism.
@c_stroop
’s explainer on their movement is a must-read going into 2019:
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Shit, guys, they're onto us. The very obviously DA/FF+/Capexit voters behind me just said that they think the "people organising the voting" (the IEC? Who knows...) have made the queues long on purpose so that they'll give up and go home. 😶
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I just yelled some very ugly words at Rep Michael Waltz for suggesting on ABC News that America is somehow above this and it's only acceptable in "places in Africa" where he's served. Jesus. Let the exceptionalism go already. It's over. It's done. America is not special.
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A 6-year-old. Buried under rubble. For 7 hours. Her mother and all her siblings dead. For what? And this is just ONE story. I can't even form coherent thoughts about this anymore. 💔
Extraordinary photo from Gaza on the front page of The Guardian today - six year old Suzy Eshkuntana pulled alive from the rubble 7 hours after an Israeli air strike that killed her mom and all four of her siblings
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Well done to these absolute heroes, please let's start a petition to have them included in the remainder of the trophy tour.
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So anyway,
@Our_DA
, I think the term you're looking for is "Pyrrhic victory". I remember learning that phrase in my high school English class and wondering when I'd ever get a chance to use it. Well, today's the day! 🥳
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Why are so many of us awake so early on a Sunday morning? 😭
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.
@thecatreviewer
15/10 to this Sicilian cannolo for running into the trattoria and rushing STRAIGHT to my outstretched hand for a head boop.
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Did someone ask for a photo of William looking adorable? No? Well, tough. You're getting one anyway. 🤷🏻♀️
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Omg he *still* hasn't figured out how to get rid of his likes?! Yoh. You all need to show your fathers and uncles how to use social media responsibly, please. 🙈
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We finally made it to
@RacknGrill
, and yes, I can confirm, this burger is one thousand times better than the icky one I had at That Other Restaurant last year. 😏
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@BrainTraffic
roses are red
my violets are raggedy
truncation is not
a content strat
/cc
@karenmcgrane
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Also: how nicely should I dress? Look too unkempt and all your symptoms are caused by depression; look too well-groomed and you must be feeling fine.
The catch-22 of seeing doctors for chronic pain: If you're too emotional, they tell you it's caused by stress, but if you're calm they think your pain isn't serious.
#NEISvoid
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When I had my hip replacement nearly 10 years ago, I said I wanted to abseil off Table Mountain when I was all healed up. It took a pandemic to get me to finally get around to making the booking, but here we are at last. 🤗
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"There was foreign interference, which is illegal," she says, foreignly interfering.
I've interviewed many Trump supporters but this South African in a MAGA cap at the
#Inauguration
still blew my mind 🤯
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Next time just let Amanda Gorman do the whole thing. All of it. Sing the anthem, be president, everything.
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@MooseAllain
My husband once borrowed a friend's overnight bag for a business trip. When he got home he thanked me for the new underpants I'd bought him, but said they were "a bit snug". I began to say, "I didn't buy you any new––" and then the horrible truth dawned on us both simultaneously.
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One moment he says they need a grown-up to lead their party, and the next he's saying John Steenhuisen should do it. Well, which is it, sir? You can't have it both ways. 🤨
“I think Mbali, nice as she is, clever as she is, good as she is, I think she is a little early. The DA has tried this on two occasions and has flopped” - Douglas Gibson. Says the party needs a grown up to lead
#DACongress2020
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Those of you who were not evangelical in your younger years probably don't know this. It's important. Evangelicalism is far from harmless.
Just a super quick reminder that Trump's evangelical supporters want him to declare Jerusalem the capital because they believe it well help advance THE LITERAL APOCALYPSE AND THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST
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I bought one of those new miniature Choice Assorted boxes at Pick n Pay and the cashier asked me, with concern in her eyes, if I'm going to be spending Christmas alone. 😶
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And I'm not talking about speaking up here on Twitter. I'm talking about in everyday interactions, at braais, at school, at your workplace, in your neighbourhood WhatsApp group, at your parents' home. That's where the racism festers and grows.
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@lucyprebblish
Yes, it's misophonia. Frustratingly for me certain things trigger ASMR (hair-playing mostly) and others trigger extreme misophonia (tapping, whispering, liquid sounds). I feel anger rising just typing this. 😂
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My pfully-Pfizered pface! And no presyncope, tachycardia, or unliftable arm this time. Just sweet, sweet antibodies. 🥳
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Things should never have come to the point where the EFF had to go and protest outside a school. THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE TO.
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Rest in peace, my sweet little boy. Somehow you stayed a kitten for 16 years, and made my life a thousand times better. I will miss you forever. My heart is shattered. 💔
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"Page views are not your goal. Your GOAL is your goal." –
@jcolman
quoting
@mjpowers
YES YES YES.
#CSForum16
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It's funny to see people saying, "What if we have to take a booster every year? When does it end?!" You know there are people who take multiple chronic meds, have regular shots, or get frequent infusions to stay alive, right? Maybe ongoing medical intervention is only new to YOU.
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Yup, my visa application required 73 printed pages. Just for a tourist visa. And then the emails from the visa agency had the audacity to include the "please don't print this email, think of the environment" paragraph in their signature.
We printed 104 pages of documents. 52 per person. More than 15 million people apply for a Schengen each year, so think about the environmental impact of printing of this scale. (8)
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Hey, can I be soppy for a moment? This week and last have given me a glimpse of how utterly miserable and soulless right-wing twitter is. It's made me more grateful than ever for all of you and for this kind, warm-hearted, thoughtful space we share on here. ❤️❤️❤️
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@naked_ravens
@MooseAllain
This is insane! I made the identical joke just last week! How on EARTH did two people on different continents come up with the same crazypants humour just a week apart? The cashier and I laughed so much that we held up the queue. Of course everyone was guffawing too much to mind!
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I am extremely grateful for this community. I only wish I'd had something like it 13 years ago when I left the church. I might have healed a little sooner.
@monaeltahawy
@jmatwood
Ex-Evangelicals are organizing more as a community and movement. Hashtags like
#EmptyThePews
and
#RaptureAnxiety
both help us find each other and expose conservative, mostly white Evangelical extremism to a wider public too inclined to see Evangelicalism as more or less benign.
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I got a shower chair today, at last. My
#neisvoid
friends – especially those with orthostatic intolerance of any kind – will understand what a happy occasion this is. No more procrastinating on showering because I'm not ready to be upright!
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Four-year-olds cry because their fish fingers are touching their mashed potato. "Things that briefly upset toddlers" is hardly a way to decide what is and isn't reasonable behaviour in a society.
On infantilised adults, I’ve received a set of rules for sports conduct from a local school. Tennis may be played, but children may not touch the tennis balls. Only coaches. I drove past a preschool, to see a child of about four crying while being forced into a mask and to ...
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The replies! 😂 South Africans never disappoint.
Dear Americans send us money in South Africa, we're dying of hunger, lions are chasing us and elephants are eating us😭😭 send those dollars ngfuna ukuyophuza😭😭
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So. It was cancer. It was untreatable. And yesterday we had to let this perfect, beautiful, loving girl go off to her eternal patch of sunshine. She was loyal and kind and fiercely intelligent, and she is utterly irreplaceable. Goodbye and thank you, my sweet Elizabeth.
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It's only a birthday if it comes from the Birthday region of France; otherwise it's just a sparkling Friday. 🥂
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I just yelled "shut up, I don't care!" at my fridge, because it was playing a tune to complain about being left open. Except it wasn't. That was the microwave's tune, telling me it was finished cooking.
Apologies to the fridge.
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So maybe 2022 is going to be the year that you all finally realise how problematic that lady is. 🥳
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@realtammurray
@Ngist678
@KashJackson2018
@Trevornoah
That's exactly it. We're a useful tool to deflect attention from their own issues. They forget that we have the internet too.
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It's vaccination day for my dad. 🙌 I am SO impressed with the staff at Brackenfell Clinic. They are organised, professional, excellent communicators, and sooooo kind and helpful. (My dad is very frail and needs extra assistance, which they've given without me having to ask.)
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@LauraAliveNit
@C_Stroop
I went to a government school and we had skirt-length checks too, and more horrifying, UNDERWEAR checks to make sure we were wearing school-issue underwear (the latter was in junior school). Apartheid South Africa's entire culture was saturated with religion, purity, and shaming.
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8 months ago I was a typical GenXer, incapable of taking a selfie. I was so ashamed. But then I got a Millennial Boyfriend™, and everything changed. Get your Millennial Boyfriend™ today, and be selfie-trained in no time! 50% off with code SELFIE; discount applied at checkout.
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@C_Stroop
Seriously. This entire line of "but is this really helping the church?" rhetoric just reminds me of the guys who like to come on here and tell women that men don't like us to wear too much make-up. WE. DON'T. CARE. 🙅🏻
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I wrote a piece on not hustling and not crushing it, for the amazing
@humanthemachine
project:
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Slightly abnormal blood test results, hurrayyyyy! Time for a little celebratory hand-waving! 🥳 Those 7 vials were totally worth it.
#neisvoid
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I've had a horrible couple of Valentine's Days before this one, so I hope all the single people will forgive me for showing off this, the BIGGEST CHOCOLATE I'VE EVER SEEN. 🥰🥰🥰
I think there's a boy in Joburg who has a crush on me. 😏
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Please note: HARD SAME. And I will not be attending your party or lunch or games evening or fancy tea or whatever, because I still have the same survival instinct I had this afternoon, and the same asthma and other assorted health issues. But y'all have fun now. 🙃
People are still not allowed at my house 💀
I'm an endangered species still
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@carlolinks
@Pseudonym_X92
She's 3 years younger than me, and I will never stop being surprised when I remember this fact.
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I relate to this piece with every fibre of my pain-filled, exhausted being.
I am perpetually behind; keep losing hours, days, and weeks to my half-diagnosed illness(es); and feel like I will never catch up to the rest of you.
I don't have the vocabulary for how tired I am.
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The rapid passage of time is probably my greatest source of distress right now. I remember thinking back in March how lovely it was that at least the whole world would slow down now and I could catch up. But the opposite has happened.
How is it Friday? How is it September?
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@JennMForster
@safashionweek
Shameful is exactly the right word. How utterly oblivious do you have to be to come on here and say "we're proud of this"? And it's a pattern that's repeated all over corporate South Africa.
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I bought so many snacks at the spar just now that the cashier asked me how many children I have. Then when I said, "None – please don't judge me," she assured me that she wasn't judging me. And then added, "I don't have children either." SHE JUDGED ME SO HARD FOR THOSE SNACKS.
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It feels weird to say "Merry Christmas" in our current circumstances, so I'll just say that I love you all and I'm holding you in my heart this Christmas. I wish I was having you all over for lunch later.
Twitter friends are real friends. Family, even. ❤️
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Okay I know there is a very limited audience for this tweet but I have just had word that MY C-REACTIVE PROTEIN IS IN THE NORMAL RANGE FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE AT LEAST FEBRUARY 2015!!!!!!
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Things got increasingly tense. 😳
Wordle 234 5/6*
⬜🟩🟩⬜⬜
⬜🟩🟩⬜⬜
⬜🟩🟩⬜⬜
⬜🟩🟩⬜⬜
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
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@LauraAliveNit
@C_Stroop
... while systematically oppressing, imprisoning, torturing, and killing black people, because that fit right in with the government's christian morals. 🙄 (All I'm saying is: there's precedent for this kind of apparent contradiction.)
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@andyherndon
If I was not a Real Christian then _no-one_ is a Real Christian. And I know there are an awful lot of us who can say that. This line of argument that our faith was weak is such a cop-out. I was deeply, deeply committed.
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@jnmedina8989
@realDrcabbie
@seize_the_means
No, you're absolutely right -- it feels pretty off from here in the global south too. I just saw some American friends bantering light-heartedly on FB about the stickers they got with their vaccine, and it's like we're living in two different worlds.
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I followed so many of you because of Dr Sindi. My South African Twitter family expanded this past year, when I desperately needed a sense of connection, because of how she brought people together and showed us our common humanity in even the smallest of things. ❤️
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If you want to check the reading level of your own content, here are a few tools to help you do that:
–
–
–
#Confab2019
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@AsptVoice
@C_Stroop
I'm off to church right now! By which I mean I'm going to go for a walk and catch Pokémon on this glorious Saturday afternoon.
#EmptyThePews
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@naledimashishi
It gets talked about a LOT in the exvangelical/deconstruction groups I belong to. I guess it's not something people necessarily want to share with others who haven't been down the same path, plus many have religious family and friends who will harass them if they say it publicly.
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... and are these good-looking older men on dating apps in the room with us right now?
Uncomfortable fact: Dating apps have given young women (18-28) an incredibly easy way to find and vet older men (40+) to have sex with
Almost every woman has this fantasy (preference even) and most of them use the apps to fulfill it
Good looking older men are cleaning up…
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It's true. I really did not. No matter what you guess is going to happen, you'll be wrong.
You're gonna watch this video about sloths and think you know how it ends.
BUT YOU DO NOT.
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Everyone, enjoy this photo of my cat. I think it speaks for itself.
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I did a pilates class today. For someone who can't get out of bed in the morning until her tramadol kicks in, this is quite a big deal. 💪
I'm tired and sore all over, and I'm surely going to pay for it tomorrow, but I'm proud of myself for finally getting back on this horse.
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What a massive surprise that someone who would push to the front of the vaccine queue and then brag about it here instead of passing the information on to someone more deserving is also a both-sideser on Palestine. 🙄
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🥳🥳🥳
This is better news than anything else you're going to see on this app today.
South Africa will receive one million doses of the AstraZeneca vaccine in January and 500,000 further doses in February, sufficient for all of its health workers, Health Minister Mkhize announced today. The vaccine doses will be provided by the Serum Institute of India.
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There's a reach, and then there's a 3-year-old stretching to get one of those black plastic scooters off the top shelf at Makro.
Astonishing moment a cloud resembling Queen Elizabeth floats over English town just hours after she died
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@LarryMadowo
Your interviewing skills are ON POINT. You treated her ignorant assertions like the absolute nonsense they were. 👏 My American friend sums it up well: 😊
@kerry_anne
Oh wow, I love this reporter. He's so quick to call the BS. "That is not a narrative, it's a fact." made me LOL, and again at the end when he wrapped it up by saying "None of this is going to happen" right into their stupid, smiling faces. Fantastic.
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Real pity about the alcohol ban, huh, South Africa? Imagine how DRUNK we could have all been by now if we took a shot every time some commentator said "we expect to see this in a 3rd world country, not in America". We would have been on the floor an hour ago already.
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I know that weight loss and fitness tweets are not the content you all came here for, so all I will say is HELLO 60s I HAVE MISSED YOU THESE LAST 6 YEARS. (Yeah, I hit a milestone today and I am proud af. I have a lot working against me in the chronic illness department.)
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Reached a big personal milestone this morning: I got blocked on Instagram by a garden centre.
BY A GODDAMN GARDEN CENTRE.
No, I didn't threaten to go and throw diesel on all their hydrangea plants. I suggested they should add plant names and prices to their posts.
#monster
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Yeah. Make it this one. Seriously. RT
@liamjay66
: If you only see one rabbit having a bath today, make it this one.
http://t.co/3XupbWRTLr
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Whoops, I caused a racist to leave my neighbourhood watch whatsapp group this morning by politely asking him to not racially profile pedestrians.
Please note, however, that we on the left are the snowflakes.
🙄
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Right. That's it. Everyone, pack it up and go home. Back away slowly from the internet, then turn around and run.
My 83-year-old mother just forwarded me a TikTok video on WhatsApp.
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It just occurred to me that I'm four years and three days away from 50. This is an absolutely ridiculous fact that my mind refuses to accept. Age truly is just a number.
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I don't think I can be here today. I was barely holding it together this week as it is. 💔 My favourite Avenger, the specific diagnosis I fear most, the age my brother was when he died, the despair across my timeline... I'm just utterly depleted.
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Happy New Year, South Africa! 🍾 I've loved getting to know so many more of you this past year, and I look forward to a time when we can actually hang out in person. I love you all so much -- thank you for being here. ❤️ Here's to a better 2021 for all of us! 🥳
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@buttershug
@DaveFelix
@TechnicallyRon
Same. Even typing this reply is a lot, tbh. I have grunge to listen to and calls to ignore.
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It's vaccination day for my mom today, and we have the Karenest of Karens behind us in the queue. Please don't be a Vaccination Karen -- these people are doing the best they can to help everyone.
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My furry boy has gone in for his dental treatment today. Last time I sent a cat in for this procedure, she came back with cancer and we lost her two weeks later. So... love and good vibes, please? 😔
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@TonyKaron
They should be very proud of him. It's really encouraging to see young white people speaking out decisively like this, especially given all the racism we're still seeing in local schools.
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