Banished Kent
@kentbanishearl
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To plainness honor’s bound when majesty falls to folly. Serve where you stand. John Adam’s Top Guy.
Joined November 2022
This statement from Lear as his daughters questioned why he needed any knights is a powerful observation and is relevant today:. “O, reason not the need! Our basest beggars.Are in the poorest thing superfluous. Allow not nature more than nature needs,.
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Joe Biden, meeting with his 20 million extra voters two nights ago:
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“So hold up…Boromir said they couldn’t simply walk into Mordor.”. “Yes, he did. He did say that.”. “But then….these hobbits. They just….walked into Mordor? Is that right?”. “Hobbits really are amazing creatures, Joe. Amazing. Even after a hundred years, they still surprise.”
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“Okay, but what does that have to do with Gandalf sending a hobbit into Mordor?” . “I am just coming to that. You said you wanted a serious conversation, not a talk show. You see in the beginning, all the creations of Illuvatar, the Ainur, sang harmoniously, but not Melkor…”
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“You’re ruling my son out for engineering jobs now? The kid’s 15!”. “Tom simply spent too much time watching sitcoms and sleeping over at friends’ houses.”
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This part where Boromir has two arrows in him, looks at the hobbits, and finds resolve to keep fighting is what movies are all about. This is worth more than endless hours of scribbles and lectures. Burn this into your mind.
Almost no dialogue, yet possibly the most moving scene of my lifetime. We will never have it this good again.
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“I’m an animal and someone stacked rocks ohhh no ahhhhhh”
If you see these in nature, please knock them over! They are a legit threat to the wildlife.
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Almost no dialogue, yet possibly the most moving scene of my lifetime. We will never have it this good again.
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“What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?”. “….sir?”. “The most. You ever lost. On a coin toss?”
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“Invade Mexico day one dad. Manifest destiny isn’t over.” . “As always, fantastic advice, son.”
Trump says son Barron likes to give political advice: ‘Dad, this is what you have to do’
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Wrong. There was no America before the Settlers.
The true owners of America are its Indigenous people. Everyone else is an immigrant.
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“BILBO BAGGINS! Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks! I am not trying to rob you!”
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“Your fingers would remember their old strength better if they grasped your sword.”
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It’s in the Western United States, btw. I can’t say more at this time.
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“Mr President, that is what they used to call me. Trump 45.”. “I am Trump 47, and I come back to Twitter now. At the turn of the tide.”
Are you better off now than you were when I was president?. Our economy is shattered. Our border has been erased. We're a nation in decline. Make the American Dream AFFORDABLE again. Make America SAFE again. Make America GREAT Again!.
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“You should move to a blue city where they say ‘happy holidays’. You will not survive here. You are not jolly. And this is the land of jolly elves now.”
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Emperor Clarence Thomas watches tigers devour journalists, 2030 AD
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Comforting my wife when her favorite Thai restaurant shut down because the owner was deported (I reported them)
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“And when everyone is an American, no one will be.”
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“What are you scrolling for?”. “I don’t know…some kind of banger I guess.”. *sigh* “Me too kid….”
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My son is 87 yrs old, roams as a Ranger since childhood, girlfriend is 2700 yrs older. No college. Talking marriage and kids and yes, he's fit.
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The blueprint is finally complete guys. To succeed:. - Work at Panda ($100k salary).- Buy a home in Detroit for less than $100k.- Meet smokeshow wife at the truck stop. Think that’s ridiculous? You’re just entitled.
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If this picture of Father Christmas puffing a pipe gets more likes then you’re abusing the scriptures for wicked ends and you’re on the naughty list.
This holiday season, remember that Mary had a choice, and you should, too.
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5 things I would buy before the bugman Apple Goggles: . 1. Scythian dagger, found around the Black Sea ($2,795)
Five Outrageously Absurd Luxuries I would buy before Apple Vision Pro: . 1. The Helko Werk “Scout” axe from their Ironwood collection. $450. Extreme luxury. Sheer hedonism in my mind. The kind of thing that would hang on the wall because it is so pretty.
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Star Wars was successful because it tapped into the natural imagination of boys. Samurai aesthetic, chivalric honor code, sword fights, space exploration. Turning it into girl bosses larping as Jason Bourne is hilarious.
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Very obscure gun that played a huge role in the Lewis & Clark Expedition (short 🧵) . This is a 46-caliber Girandoni air rifle. It holds 22 lead rifle balls which are fired without powder, using only compressed air to propel each ball.
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“So the Chippewa, they have this legend. There’s a lake they called Gitche Gumee. To us, Lake Superior.”. “Yes. Nasty lake, nasty November storms. The Edmund Fitzgerald was a big boat, bigger than most. It was loaded with twenty-six thousand tons of solid American steel.”. “What
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“Orcs are roaming freely across our land. Unchecked, unchallenged. Orcs bearing the white hand of Saruman.”. “Huh. And they were bothering you, were they??”
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@timjacobwise If this picture of Jolly Old Saint Nick ripping a heater gets more likes than your post then Daniel Penny is a hero and you’re on the naughty list.
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Here's my advice to single race cars who feel hopeless about ever finding a good Porsche to marry:. Take a month or two between races and drive across the USA. Stop at every gas station and truck stop. Avoid cities; stop primarily in poor rural areas out in the middle of
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“Shame. Shame on the State of New York for such barbarity. Shame.”. “But - he was just a squirrel.”. “He was a GOOD BOY!”
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You think this movie is goofy action movie. Some guy thought: “what if we fought dragons with helicopters?” . But I am here to tell you this movie is actually an insightful drama about the modern world. One might, in fact, call it based. A 🧵 for your consideration (1/11)
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If you’re a hobbit in your 30’s, acquire a ring of power. Strangle your best friend if you have to.
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“…You see, he didn’t actually say it in Latin, Barbie. That was all Shakespeare’s doing. What he really said was, “kaì sý, téknon”. That’s Greek for “you too, son?” - even more heartbreaking if you ask me. Dante was right about Brutus. So I guess, yeah I think about it a lot.”
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“But Elrond, if I use this sword I’m no better than Sauron. Power. Coercion. Not really the tools of a hero. Melt it back down.”
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Marc Antony speaking at Caesar’s funeral, 44BC, colorized.
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“It’s called, immunity folks. I’ve got it, they don’t. They’ve got less than six months.”
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My ideal burglar:.- 3’6”+ tall.- Thick hair on toes .- 120+ cheese varieties in pantry.- Smoker.- Fussy.- Never misses second breakfast .- Hidden Tookish personality.- Riddle master . (Optional).- Enjoys company of dwarves.- Handkerchief aficionado
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“Mr Kennedy, can you please tell us what your position will be on Second Breakfast?”
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“All our hopes now lie with a few million little hobbits. Somewhere in the swing states."
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“It began with the melting of the Great Statues. Three were melted of Confederates, Lee’s the most brazen of all. Seven of great explorers and heroes of the wars. And nine, nine Founding Fathers were melted to appease progressives, who, above all else, desired power…”
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“Offer me anything I ask for!”. “Anything you want!”. “I want my squirrel back you son of a bitch!”
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“What business does a man, an elf, and a reindeer have on the Island of Misfit toys? Speak quickly!”
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"You think you are wise, Magi, yet for all your subtleties you have not wisdom. Do you think the eyes of the Second Temple are blind?. I know who is born in Bethlehem. Oh, yes. Words have reached my ears of this child, son of David, and I tell you now: I will not bow to this
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“The Horse Men took land from the Dunlendings, isn’t it hypocritical now to oppose displaced peoples from Isengard resettling here?”. “Listen, I don’t care I don’t want Orcs running freely across our lands, unchecked and unchallenged.”
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“You there, zoomer, what is your profession?”. “I…I manage a Panda Express.” . “And you?”. “I drive for UPS…”
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If only you knew how wholesome things really are
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“If you’re referring to the incident with the school board, I was barely involved. All I did was read from the books they allowed in third grade.”. “Well, whatever you did, you’ve been officially labeled a ‘domestic terrorist’…”. “Oh really?”
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@wspd8pio If this picture of Father Christmas ripping a heater gets more likes, then you’re a grinch and are on the naughty list.
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“To save Sparta from itself, I will be fighting for Xerxes.”
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You can’t dispel the myth of the gallant knight because it’s fundamentally true, silly Sancho.
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“If I should get hired by Panda, think better of me, conservatives.”. “That will depend on the earnings of your employment.”
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“Fry in oils, gaining weight,.Sugary corn and milkless shakes!.That's what RFK Jr hates!”
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🧵 Don’t say b**r. Beowulf’s name translates to “bee-wolf”. The name is an artistic euphemism, meaning bear. Many heroes in Norse sagas are given similar kennings which indirectly mean bear. But why? . Beetlejuice.
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It’s this scene, actually:
“Why are the Lord of the Rings films still so good? How are they still blowing other films out of the water?”. Ask this real location:
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Thorvaldsen is probably the best modern sculptor. Heavily inspired by classical works and stories. Here’s a short thread with some of his best work: 🧵.
The Lion of Lucerne is an 1821 monument by Bertel Thorvaldsen to the Swiss Guard killed in the Tuileries Palace during the French Revolution
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“I think we should get into bed…”. *in the distance, bells jingle*. “Get into bed! Quick!”
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“What is this place?”. “Master must go inside the tunnel.”. “Now that I'm here, I don't think I want to…What's that mattress for?”. “Gentiles filth. Gentiles nap in here sometimes. Hurry!”
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“Santa Claus is real.”. “No, he’s not.”. “Yes he is, I've seen him.”. “You've seen him?”. “Yes.”. “You've seen a sleigh with eight little reindeer that's crewed by the elves, and captained by a man so jolly that Heaven itself sent him back down?”. “No.”. “No.”. “But I have seen a
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“It is a strange fate that we should see so much rage and dissent over so small a thing.”
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What did y’all think manifest destiny meant? vibes? essays? papers? losers lol
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“They took the Little House”
A ‘LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE’ reboot is in the works at Netflix. Rebecca Sonnenshine (‘The Boys’) will serve as showrunner.
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“Alas that these evil days should be mine. The innocent perish, and the guilty prosper…. No citizen should have his pet murdered.”. "He was strong in life. His spirit will find its way to the oak trees of his fathers.”
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“The generosity of your aid is somewhat lessened of late, FEMA workers!”. “Why….should we aid you…. Nazi…. fascists?”
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“He has taken Georgia…. and Pennsylvania….we cannot get votes….red….red on the map….Arizona moves to the red…. we cannot get votes….he is coming!”
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“Not alone.”
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It makes sense why they had to subvert the Wizard of Oz
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Tolkien and Shakespeare 🧵. It’s no secret that Tolkien disliked Shakespeare and drama more broadly. He loved myth so deeply that Shakespeare’s more politically grounded plays irritated him. Macbeth particularly it seems.
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“A red sun rises, Trump votes have been cast this night.”
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“In Denmark, this Grendel, he’s eating the Danes. He’s eating the Scyldings. He’s eating - he’s eating their joy.”
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“What are you gonna do, brother, when the gales of November come early?!”
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“Do you know how the anons came to be?” . *low growl*. “They were libertarians once, rejected for their mild, mainstream values. Their ruined view of liberalism sought a stable social philosophy. And now, perfected. Straussian Frog-poasters. Whom do you serve?”
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We’re not even going to give you a crystal
Nick Fuentes talks about why he likes Game Of Thrones & then goes off on Lord Of The Rings 🤣
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“If God would’ve put me in the 12th Century I would’ve been a knight. We would have taken Jerusalem for sure. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.”
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“Concealed within his toy factory, the Father of Christmas sees all — his gaze ponders the waking and sleeping, naughty and nice. You know of what I speak, Gandalf — a great list… endless…checked twice.". “You know this, how?”. “I have seen it.”
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Yes, this must be why BAP and little dark age edits fail to attract younger men while Mike Pence and Mitt Romney are wildly successful. Maybe the worst post I’ve read here.
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“And on the slopes of Mount Doom, they fought for the freedom of Middle-Earth. Victory was near…but the power of the Ring could not be undone….”. Sauron:.
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“Wifejak memes! One short post is enough to divide the TL.”. *nods*. “How many did you post?”. “Four.”
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@eyeslasho If this picture of Father Christmas absolutely ripping a heater gets more likes, then you lack noble wholesomeness and are on the naughty list
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Obviously, in a real fight, only Lewis had such a rifle and it was of limited use. But the Indians didn’t know that. The ruse worked, and the party didn’t suffer any losses from conflicts with Indians.
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🧵Werewolves in Norse Woods. The wolf was prominent in Norse cultures, being both feared and admired. From úlfhéðnar to Fenrir, the beast stalked their imaginations. Stories of men becoming wolves captivated them. One of the best comes from the Volsung Saga.
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Michael Anton directing the policy planning to deport the Menswear Guy:
Michael Anton will become Director of Policy Planning at the State Department. Michael served me loyally and effectively at the National Security Council in my First Term. He has an extensive background in Government, the private sector, and academia. He spent the last eight.
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He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die.
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“The wilderness masters the colonist…In short, at the frontier the environment is at first too strong for the man. He must accept the conditions which it furnishes, or perish, and so he fits himself into the Indian clearings and follows the Indian trails. Little by little he
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“What does this have to do with the rise of the Caesars?” . “I told you, this will be a short history, maybe one minute. Now, moreover, we must follow Virgil back to Greece. The Muse sings of the rage of Achilles, Peleus’ son, murderous, doomed, that cost the Acheans countless-”
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“Dragons are real.”. “Oh like a meta imagistic representation of the abstract concept of a predator?”. “No, they’re real IRL. Beowulf killed one. I barely escaped one last Tuesday. I’ll be ready for him next time.”
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Gm sword of the day. Remains of a Mycenaean bronze sword with an agate handle and gold discs for decoration. From around 1400 BC
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"May these cloaks help shield you from unfriendly eyes."
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