kenny
@kenny_widowson
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Keemstar looks like he buys 16 year olds alcohol if they promise to hangout with him
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Papa John working hard at getting that 30 day of not using the N-word chip.
Papa John’s ex-CEO says he’s been working for the last 20 months “to get rid of this N-word in my vocabulary” (h/t
@mount_bees
)
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Unreal engine 5 looks crazy
Holy shit an underwater gas line burst at an oil platform in the Gulf of Mexico, and part of the ocean caught fire.
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David Portnoy here. Just pissed myself again in Shorty Joes Pizza.
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I’m exempt from wearing a mask now. my condition is being a middle aged white person.
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I’m gonna do the same thing at my dads funeral maybe even chokeslam him through the coffin
this Instagram model’s father passed away,,,, and she did a photo shoot with the open casket….
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The right way to respond to Tesseract dude complaining about tips
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My first feature is on this album and I’m kind of nervous for people to hear it
“A Eulogy For Those Still Here” will be available worldwide on October 7th via
@purenoiserecs
/
@newdamage
Preorders as well as the first single and video “Unwavering Vow” will be available tomorrow, I don’t know when or where exactly so find it yourself you fucking nerd
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you take off that mark vi armor right now i’ve watched my brothers get spawn killed wearing that
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@JordanUhl
@hasanthehun
Oh you had a heart attack? They’ll probably say it was the hurricane
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I’m getting close to the age where people start stacking Facebook photo filters.
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Mom, you gotta see this. TWO THOUSAND people… singing our cover of Taylor Swift 🥹
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Setting up a QR code at the Merch table you can scan that links to
@tesseractband
’s PayPal and you can request money from them
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Was it Netflix that ended blockbuster or was it our parents coming home with a bunch of burned dvds that had Chinese subtitles that they bought for $5 each off someone they work with’s friend that shut down blockbuster?
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Hey I’m just here to sell you a t-shirt please stop trauma dumping on me
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Me: ...
Jack Black: WE'RE GONNA TEACH THE SICK KID HOW TO PLAY GUITAR!
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Hey our last night just wanted to say your Morgan Wallen and Ricky Martin covers got me through a really dark time in my life ❤️
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Staying in what used to be a prison now turned studio in Sweden and I definitely just saw a shadow figure walk across the the next room goodbye
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If you want to do free indoor skydiving just lay down in the back of a van while someone crashes into your trailer.
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Happy birthday to my 2 bffs
@_kylebrownlee
and
@brendan905
. Love u both so much sometimes love one of you way more than the other
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Made a kpop playlist with
@brendan905
for the Pure Noise page this month even if Pure Noise doesn’t want to acknowledge my existence and pretend like the band is fine without me. It’s ok no problem
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Yeah the hoodie is $100 and I don’t get any of that so you have to tip too.
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Finally boarded my flight after a 4 hour delay and the guy sitting next to me was looking at selfies of him and his friend before he started hitting his phone a bunch. I don’t care what happens anymore.
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When I die make sure my naked body does a coffin flop at the funeral
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Just finished my last tour for the year. Going home to play dead by daylight for a week straight 🫶🏻
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@brendan905
About to spend $100 on Uber eats and say “idk wasn’t me” when u ask the group chat 😈👿
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Going out as Harry Styles stunt double looking like Michael Myers this year
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I met a twice fan at the airport in Toronto today and I kinda wish we became best friends
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Man Jared Leto is a crazy method actor emailing all those people condoms to be the joker
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This German hotel told us “we don’t do that here” when we asked if we could buy a water or any kind of drink lmao
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This is the Christmas ornament
@brendan905
’s parents got me when they threw the one with his name on it in the garbage.
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Every time an airplane has really bad turbulence I just get mad that they wouldn’t give me a full can of coke before I die
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I might have set a record last night for the fastest someone took an elevator after an earth quake
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Happy birthday
@brendan905
idk where u r I’m in the green room playing dead by daylight but I’m having a sip of Jameson 4 u
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Felt too sleepy today so I had
@PXCARRILLO
take a pic of the Eiffel Tower so I could pretend like I went too
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@reynlord
@tomfromstray
I don’t have a lot to be proud of but I do have this and I will fucking know if someone ever gives me anything less
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We’re celebrating
@_kylebrownlee
and
@brendan905
’s birthday and they let me have 2 sips of champagne last night. 🤭🤭🤭
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Went to one of America’s most haunted roads to throw a quarter over a bridge at some ghost kid or something
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@_kylebrownlee
Everything will be better when we revive the fun house idea and u can make us coffee everyday
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Scooter police in Prague fined me $150 for “riding a scooter on the sidewalk” when I only went on the sidewalk to talk to them for pulling us over lol
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New York didn’t tip me because they thought giving me Covid was nicer.
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It’s my birthday and we’re gonna listen to Logan and Jake Paul songs
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Whoever told me I have nice hair tonight thank u I felt love for a few seconds there
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Just two hours of this
‘Dead by Daylight’ is getting a film adaptation from Atomic Monster and Blumhouse.
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Paid for the blackpink membership on Weverse for access to ticket presales only to forget to register it so yeah great day really happy can’t wait to spend $2000 on nose bleeds now mmhmm
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I’ve had a US number for 2 days and someone from Baltimore is texting me thinking I’m someone named ‘Strawberry’
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@brendan905
I didn’t even know you got high either so I was googling reasons people start randomly sweating while holding an ice pack on your neck
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Tried the girl filter and it did nothing for me. Still ugly with a big head.
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I don’t hate anything in this world even remotely close to how much I hate the Toronto - Pearson airport.
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Someone switched my Coca Cola with a Coke Zero and that’s straight up one of the most disrespectful things you can do to someone
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Doing this Saturday at noon est but I wish I was on
@TaylorLorenz
team
Starting noon on Saturday, weekend long fundraiser for
@hchomeless
.
Donate to make us drop our items & wreck the game.
Ft.
@xychelsea
@tomfromstray
@BryanGarris_
@_kylebrownlee
@GenePark
@robrousseau
@theserfstv
@daveweigel
@TaylorLorenz
& more!
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Furnace fest was fun. My feet are in the most pain they have ever been in and maybe
@veganeggma
gave me Covid we’ll see
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In the future I hope we have dryers that take exactly as long as they say they will.
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10 years ago I made friends on halo 3 from Texas and tonight I’m drunk in San Antonio hanging out with them for the first time and it’s fucking sick. Luv u
@halo
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Coronavirus look like those balls you could stick to your friends foreheads
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@tomfromstray
@JordanUhl
I wasn’t even gonna wish him a happy birthday this year. Was gonna double or nothing next year.
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I am actually being haunted by the ghost you throw quarters at from the Clinton road bridge and it’s not funny anymore
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