These two May tweets will be studied for many years.

#coronacation2020

My wife and I get corona virus. We go to Disneyland and ride California screamin. The park finds out and quarantines us on the coaster and we endlessly ride. We have kids and they grow up on the coaster. It’s all they know. This coaster is our home now. Life is beautiful.

just washed my hands. the coronavirus is shaking

The less you care, the happier you are.

Boys are rude for example sometimes they are busy when you are not

I really can’t believe high school me was texting people 24/7 like now if I receive more than 3 texts from someone in an hour my entire body shuts down it’s like the scene in monsters inc with the sock

me after gaining 15 pounds from not working out or eating healthy over the past 12 months

Jack Lasceski RB/DL with the 3-yard Touchdown. Everest Collegiate-26 Gabriel Richard Riverview-7

college students be like airpods: in fafsa: spent gas tank: empty person i’ve been texting: ghosted iced matcha w/ oat milk: slurped midterm: failed will to live: nonexistent

Ladies just because hot girl summer is over doesn’t mean you have to stop being a hot girl, it’s THOTUM. Go get your ass ate in a pumpkin patch. Sprinkle pumpkin spice seasoning on your tiddies. Send spooky nudes. Ghost him

May your skin get clearer, ur ass get fatter, bank account get longer & ur love get reciprocated.

think being an insta baddie is easy? i just liked all the comments on my last post and got a thumb cramp. nursing students, think about this the next time u try telling me about “hard work”

does the tall girl in that new netflix movie grab rim in gym class

u ever feel like shit lol

definitely telling people i have mono next time i’m sick so at the very least they think i made out with someone

Okay have y’all seen this????