Katherine Bayford 🍐
@kebayf
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Military historian at @nottspolitics . Seen at @newstatesman , @engelsbergideas , @thetimes , & more. 🕊 I ate the pear and still I hungered ❤️🔥
Joined May 2012
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introductory french lesson: hello, my name is katie. I'm 22 and I like the colour pink
introductory latin lesson: the foulest type of magic is conjuration, for it can be fatal. the conjurer sends out demons like rapacious lions who seek to devour the souls of the faithful
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Henry VIII discovering that his petition for annulment had been rejected
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Italian Catholics, Eastern European Catholics, English Catholics
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Amazing that Bhutan's vast forests (which make it the only carbon negative country in the world) are considered underutilised because... they don't contribute more to its GDP
71% of
#Bhutan
's territory is covered in forest, but with a contribution of only about 2% to GDP per year, the forest sector remains underutilized. How can the country sustainably invest in its forests?
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Find someone who writes about you the way Deleuze wrote about Guattari:
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“You have pleased the triumvirate, lad. We bestow upon you governorship of the prosperous merchant-towns of Crimea. Take control of the Ravenna Squadron in Charax, and install a spoons.”
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I didn't realise Philip painted until today, but his painting of the Queen is incredibly sweet
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if u dating a Great Old One u single to me. wtf Amon-Gorloth gon do 😂 dwell in a palace known as Gz-eh near the Valley of the Kings for millennia, shape the very fabric of reality through his monstrous dreams, and slowly drain the Nile, causing the collapse of the bronze age?
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What the Emperor Napoleon should have done in defeat, according to Metternich’s seventeen year old daughter:
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Finally someone cancels the unabomber
Remember also that Ted kaczynski, essentially an prim’s Marx, said that LGBT rights is a distraction from the revolution
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Kim Kardashian:
✅ attends church every Sunday
✅ baptises her children into an apostolic church
✅ supports her husband in his struggles with mental health
✅ advocates for recognition of the Armenian genocide
✅ frees the innocent
✅ proclaims the gospel
Thank you Armenia for such a memorable trip. So blessed to have been baptized along with my babies at Mother See of Holy Etchmiadzin, Armenia's main cathedral which is sometimes referred to as the Vatican of the Armenian Apostolic Church. This church was built in 303 AD.
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Enough of this ‘if I were a worm, would you still love me’ nonsense, if I were the unabomber and you recognised my distinct writing style would you rat me out
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My favourite review ever is this one on goodreads for augustine's confessions
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proof I'm not joking! this is taken from Martin del Rio's 'Investigations into Magic' which is translated by my latin professor and available to buy here:
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Mary and Jesus (Maryam and Isa) in a Persian miniature
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The Spectator's theatre critic wrote an article detailing his experience of becoming so aroused at a talk given by an academic (named) that he popped down the road to solicit sex from a prostitute (named). This man should be publicly flogged. How on earth was this published?
Advice for scholars: next time you lecture on Kant and revolutions at “Downing” (
@DarwinCollege
) Cambridge, make sure your hair is neatly tied and that you’re not blonde. Or else your research impact will be on the
@spectator
libido section.
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I went to this 💀 the actors were excellent but had to pause *after every scene change* to talk to the audience about youth crime or women upholding the patriarchy before getting back to it
🎭Romeo and Juliet audiences have been given an entire page of warnings about suicide, fake blood and stage fighting for a new prodution at Shakespeare’s Globe
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Suppose someone in Asia caught Covid 1000 years ago.
They get sick in their house, their family catch it, but their family don't travel anywhere, no one mixes in large crowds indoors, buildings are all very well ventilated with external air, and the outbreak goes nowhere.
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the moomin nativity has brought me untold levels of peace
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Thank goodness that Penny Mordaunt is out so that we don’t have to listen to sexually frustrated 50 year old men insist that she’s going to be the next leader of the Conservative Party for some unknown reason
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The legalisation of assisted dying in Canada has already resulted in the homeless, mentally ill, and poverty-stricken pressured into state-sponsored suicide - and has ballooned to be the fifth-highest cause of death in the country. The UK must not budge an inch on legalising it.
EXCL: Keir Starmer wants to legalise assisted dying in the next parliament.
ITV News filmed a phone call between the Labour leader and campaigner Esther Rantzen, in which he insisted a vote on assisted suicide cannot wait any longer.
Big moment.
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@louisakeight
“It was then, whilst you were sat around, waiting - doing NISH - that I carried you”
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Which was the bigger indignity? Exiling Napoleon to die alone on an island or making his current heir use LinkedIn?
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Fiancé told me how much he loves my nose and it changed my self-confidence overnight. I’m 26 today. Look at my smile! Look how beautiful my nose looks!
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It’s genuinely mortifying to see who passes for a public intellectual in the 21st century. Children at Sunday School have a better understanding of basic logic and theology
For the skeptics, those are very interesting questions. For the religious, these are blasphemy.
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Experts in politics departments across the west genuinely shocked that appealing to liberal fears and values (GDP, economic sanctions, reputation, rights) somehow failed to convince Russia to act against its own interests.
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Britain: Why are birth rates and productivity so low?
Britain:
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The extracts from Prince Harry’s memoir are tremendous:
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@Struggle_Tweet
This is Lindy and not a struggle tweet. You posting this yourself with the intention to mock it is struggle tweeting and Not Lindy.
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yeah i’m anti-revisionist: anyone who insists medieval female mystics were just schizophrenic deserves hard labour
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My poor mother gets into bed every night and scrolls through my profile to like every single dipshit tweet I sent during the day
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we are the granddaughters of the ships you couldn’t turn
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Me:
Jameela Jamil: My supermodel figure has made me millions, but that doesn't mean it's something to aspire to. Anyone trying to look like me needs to embrace themselves, just as I have. I may be very beautiful and slim, but I have learnt to overlook it and accept myse
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John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline Kennedy watching the America's Cup Race aboard the USS Joseph P. Kennedy, Jr., 15 September 1962
📷: Robert Knudsen
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Absolutely certain that every Catholic on here knows exactly who else has been cropped from this one precise photo of de Gaulle
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teachers: the exam isn't hard
the exam: You’re walking in a desert and you look down, and you see a tortoise. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?
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I passed my viva today, and so am officially Dr. Bayford! I promise not to be too insufferable.
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“In my deepest wound I saw your glory, and it dazzled me.”
―St. Augustine, Confessions
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What women look for in a man:
- Intelligence
- Kindness
- Emotional maturity
- Sense of humour
- Reliability
- A revolutionary desire to return to a pre-industrial society
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A slightly bizarre phenomenon: Chris Brown is currently on tour in the UK. I know five separate people going to see him. He's sold out entire stadiums. Businessmen cannot get hotel rooms in the cities he's performing in. How could this be possible in 2012, let alone 2023?
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@glasgowfilmfest
Why? This is needlessly cruel against people clearly innocent of an invasion they had nothing to do with!
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“Once the state has been founded, there can no longer be any heroes.”
—Hegel, Elements of the Philosophy of Right
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Napoleon oscillated somewhat grumpily between voluntary and involuntary celibacy during his time on St. Helena:
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7am on the morning of my wedding and my fiancé is sending me aspergers statistics
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Prior to Henry VIII’s dissolution of the monasteries, one in fifty adult men in England were in religious orders:
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28% of Americans in favour of enforcing a no-fly zone over Ukraine simultaneously oppose shooting down Russian military planes:
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Top 10 worst moments of my life: having a photo taken of me that looks like Priti Patel watching someone’s home being raided
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You’re the editor of the Auckland Star and preparing to publish a short piece on the Rev. Adam Clayton Powell’s playboy lifestyle and corruption scandals. There’s just one problem…
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so is this “spectre” that’s “haunting europe” in the room with us right now?
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“The only philosophy that can be practiced responsibly in the face of despair is the attempt to contemplate all things as they would present themselves from the standpoint of redemption. Knowledge has no light but that shed on the world by redemption...”
―Adorno, Minima Moralia
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At this point you’ve got to let the Catholics have the churches back
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The reaction of literally anyone playing chess against me
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British police can’t track down stolen phones that have a ‘find my phone’ function but can assault vulnerable children for not having a ‘you look like my grandma’ loicense to hand
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So proud to have worked on General David Petraeus and Andrew Roberts’ ‘Conflict: The Evolution of Warfare from 1945 to Ukraine’ - available to order now! 🇺🇸🇬🇧
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I find the recent trend of having a diminutive name on the birth certificate mildly discouraging. Charlie instead of Charles, Freddie instead of Frederick, Teddy instead of Theodore - a prime example of this is Prince Harry (a Henry) naming his child Archie. A prince!
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You can be a Guildhall-trained minor aristocrat able to head prestige television dramas and still be stuck in sub-GCSE slop like this. Never trust a soul that suggests going to the theatre
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My ideal relationship: I make herbal teas for you as you sit and read. On Sunday mornings we go for walks along the canal and pick berries next to the water. You never ask what the nagging pounding under the floorboards is
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"We need the Lord like ancient navigators needed the stars."
Pope Francis, Urbi et Orbi
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Whilst living in Germany, Dostoevsky became enthralled with Holbein the Younger's depiction of Christ's corpse to the point in which his wife had to tear him away so that he did not suffer a fit after remaining transfixed for so long.
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The best part of my baptism bar none was the small Dickensian child who stared through the window as it began
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My religious beliefs in 2016 vs now
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No fly zone +25
[…]
Send soldiers to fight -35
I would love to hear polling on what people think a no fly zone means and entails.
🇺🇦🇺🇸 Net support in USA for ...
sanctions +51
send money +43
send weapons +38
send troops to NATO +31
no fly zone +25
Ukraine in NATO +20
cyber attack Russia 0
send soldiers to help not fight -5
drones on Russia -19
air strike Russia -33
send soldiers to fight -35
YouGov
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He’s a conspiratorial, concubine-loving Confucian. So am I. So why has the 皇帝 LOST the Mandate of Heaven?
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Every time I worry that my interests are too diverse, I remember that the former U.S. Secretary of Defense held a B.A in medieval history and a PhD in theoretical physics.
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