Katherine Allan (She/her)
@kathrillhouse
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603
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From the imagination of John Krasinski. Awake, Alone, and Aware on the Streets of Topeka, Kansas.
Joined March 2012
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We have all known Russell Brand is a bad person since the release of the Katy Perry documentary in 2012.
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Why hasn’t Channel Ten rebooted Thank God You’re Here yet?! It would launch a whole new generation of comedians into the mainstream plz guys 🙏
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“Former Buzzfeed writers on Twitter act like they worked for SNL in the 70’s” has truly sent me over the edge, I love Keep It so damn much.
@louisvirtel
@iramadisonthree
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So cool that Louis CK did a surprise set at the Comic’s Lounge in Melbourne last night! Nice of him to choose a venue with the lowest chance of there being any female comedians on the lineup to masturbate in front of.
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LOOK AT HOW HAPPY DAN LEVY IS ABOUT ANNIE MURPHY WINNING AN EMMY 😭😭😭
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Men hugging other men is hot, sexy, cool, vital, important, inspiring, literally the best.
#masterchefau
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Ben, a 10 year old, paying his respect to the Indigenous owners of the land through his cooking. Me, a 30 year old, weeping at how wonderful the next generation of kids are.
#JrMasterChefAU
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Queer Eye, but it’s just five drunk women in a nightclub bathroom telling you that you’re AMAZING sweetie while Dancing On My Own by Robyn plays.
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The main reason I want to reboot Thank God You’re Here is because that show was so beloved but ESPECIALLY by comedy fans, both casual + diehard. There is so little content on Aus TV these days that is actually FOR people who love comedy! THIS IS AN EASY SOLUTION!! I FIXED IT!!!
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Bring 👏 Back 👏 Thank 👏 God 👏 You’re 👏 Here 👏
It’s not a new format but it WILL introduce new comics to a national audience within a format they trust, opening the door (lol) to fresh content!!
I’m so passionate about this
@workingdogprod
@StanAustralia
@binge
let’s talk
I wrote about all the good people who should be on TV. Why are so many good people not on TV!!
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Filo is every 60 year old man drinking an espresso and reading the newspaper outside Thyme To Eat at the Northcote Plaza.
#JrMasterChefAU
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@Variety
Still fighting for writers’ rights ever since Don Draper stole his tagline and then fired him from SCDP. Love to see it.
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Protestors in Northcote demanding a third Coles at the Northcote Plaza.
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*me overcooking my microwave Mi Goreng while watching Reynold break his hand crafted sugar feathers*
Get it together Reynold.
#MasterChefAU
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Every single day I think about how funny it would be if they opened a third Coles at the Northcote Plaza.
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Caught an Uber pool with two bro dudes. They spent the entire time talking about how much they love Rick and Morty and the show’s creator. Neither bothered to ask me if I was a fan. I sat in silence until I got dropped off, when I told them “it’s Dan Harmon, not Dave Harmon.”
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Truly amazing that someone came out looking worse than Caleb Bond in a profile about Caleb Bond
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tbf Zoe Clare is doing exactly what I would on this show - guzzling down as much free booze as possible, having a breakdown and getting booted in the first episode.
#TheBachelorAU
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Australian public: we want more diversity on The Bachelor
Contestant: “Ew Bali is gross!! You can’t even brush your teeth there!!
Channel 10: oh diversity! We thought you said ‘racist’
#TheBachelorAU
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Lost my beautiful Uncle Peter on Sunday. When I was 10 I wrote him a letter and asked to be my Dad. I’m very sad. He was the best. Motor Neurone disease can kiss my ass.
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Haven't been to The Festival Club yet because I'm worried I'll just get drunk and start telling strangers that [insert comedian] is the "Louis CK of Australian comedy".
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Not to sound melodramatic but I think I would rather eat my own asshole than go to that Karen diner on Lygon Street where they’re mean to you on purpose.
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Hello
@DeltaGoodrem
I am doing a show in the
@melbournefringe
called STRONG FEMALE PROTAGONIST, which was inspired by your classic 2003 album Innocent Eyes. There will be a VIP seat waiting for you every night. People might say this is too ambitious, but I was Born To Try.
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If I was a professional wrestler my entrance theme would be all eighteen minutes of Impossible Soul by Sufjan Stevens.
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HAPPY
#NonBinaryPeoplesDay
to all the wonderful enby’s out there! We see you and we hear you and we love you.
Take a moment to revisit this brilliant roundtable with
@livhewson
and bunch of other incredible people talking about being non-binary:
🖤💛💜
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I like Abbie Chatfield but it really does speak to white privilege that she chose the same week as the finale for our first ever indigenous Bachelorette to announce her relationship with a contestant from the same show. (1/2)
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When
@MrJoshEarl
had me on
#DYKWIA
it was the 1st time I felt like an actual comedian. He's always been so welcoming to newer comics + especially women in a way that never felt like "filling a quota." He always made you feel like you deserved to be there. Excited for what's next!
For those who turn the podcast off during the plugs here is some news
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‘Robert Pattison hates Twilight’ remains my favourite thing on the internet.
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I’m Marie Kondo in the streets, Fyre Festival in the sheets.
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So excited to announce that me and my core are engaged!
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Just get the AZ, babes. It’s hot, it’s sexy, it’s the moment. It’s Harvey Weinstein in prison. It’s ‘Truth Hurts’ hitting number one 3 years after it came out. It’s Jen Coolidge in White Lotus. It’s Bong Joon-ho winning Best Director. It’s Serena winning the AO while pregnant.
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I just performed my first ever solo show at the
@micomfestival
and literally everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong - tech, costumes, the lot. I had to describe visual gags to set up other jokes + scrap the ending entirely. Fell over. Cried on stage. A disaster.
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To punish the Masterchef producers for Reece getting eliminated I will not be having a sex dream about Jock tonight.
#MasterchefAU
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If Australia was a republic we wouldn’t have to stay up all night waiting for the queen to die
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My favourite part of
@micomfestival
is seeing a friend's show and hearing others friends doing voiceovers for them.
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Surreal. Last night I tweeted about how badly my first (ever) solo
@micomfestival
show went and today I was asked to talk about it on
@abcmelbourne
! So many comics have messaged to share their own first night horror stories. I’m in good company. Go and see a show!
#MICF
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Lots of talk about the Melbourne comedy scene going on rn so I just want to say how grateful I am for
@vickyhanlon
, who has booked & championed me & countless other women & non-binary comics. I wouldn’t have made it past my first gig without her support, & I know I’m not alone.
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Cal Wilson’s warmth & kindness shone through in everything she did; her comedy, her support behind the scenes, & her dedication to being a cat lady of the highest order. Her drive to making the world better & treating others with kindness was inspiring. She will be so missed. ❤️
Her cats loved her so much. RIP Cal Wilson.
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Multiple sources are claiming that The Comic’s Lounge have reportedly not paid their staff superannuation for the last 10-15 years, and that their recent fundraiser was an attempt to cover this. Cannot confirm or deny, just what I’ve heard. From multiple sources. Reportedly.
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Love to receive counselling while I’m waiting for my meds and looking through the $2 bin for discounted nail polish and bronzer in my pyjamas at Chemist Warehouse at 6PM on a Wednesday.
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Dear Australian media:
1. Autism does not make men kill women. Try “toxic masculinity”.
2. Walking into a park is not “straying into a killer’s orbit”.
3. Carrying a mobile phone will not prevent you from being killed.
Eurydice you deserve so much better than this.
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Hey just a reminder that Eurydice Dixon has the worst story of all and she’s not here to tell it. She should be here. We need to do fucking BETTER.
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Osher: there’s a global pandemic, there’s no vaccine and people are self isolating
Roxi: “wow that’s full on maybe I should call my mu- OH MY GOD IS BELLA SITTING NEXT TO LOCKIE?!?!”
#TheBachelorAU
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Support women in comedy by protecting women in comedy.
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Room runner: sets are 5-7 minutes
Me: 5-7 minute set (10 minute version)
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Poh: my comfort food is a Malaysian fish custard gently folded with banana leaves, anchovies, lemongrass and nasi lemak.
Me: *eats grated cheese straight from the bag* same.
#MasterChefAU
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Please don’t cry, Ben. A lot of fully grown adults have invested their entire emotional wellbeing in your happiness.
#JrMasterChefAU
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This cranky baby opens her first ever solo show at the
@micomfestival
tomorrow night 😭 My ticket sales are VERY BAD 🥲 I’d love to perform to a nice crowd. If you’d like to come and don’t have an artist pass, DM me! If you don’t want to come that is also fine!! Do ur thing xoxo
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I’ve teamed up with
@annielouey
to throw this INCREDIBLE bushfire relief fundraiser next Sunday!
Tickets are $10 and ALL THE PROFITS are going to the East Gippsland Relief Fund & Wildlife Victoria.
Please share if you can! It helps so much x
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Hmm so Channel Ten really just assumed that when viewers said they wanted more diversity on The Bachelorette that we meant “two white blonde ladies instead of one white blonde lady.”
#TheBacheloretteAU
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My apartment building is in lockdown because someone is on the roof and won’t come down and we are surrounded by cops, but I’m 99% sure I can still smell my neighbours smoking weed. Love that for them.
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The Super Bowl downgrading from Beyoncé to Maroon 5 is the same as when all my exes downgraded from me to their new partners.
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Anyone who says Australian comedy is dead on free to air television need only tune into Channel Seven who are currently playing Titanic while simultaneously broadcasting updates from the Sydney to Hobart yacht race.
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This year I’ve lost 15KGs and become a regular at the ice cream shop next door to my work. Anyone who tells you that you have to cut out the things you love to reach your health and fitness goals is full of shit.
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The producer: did someone say something to you about your hair?
Zoe-Clare: no, but I WILL NOT STAND FOR DISCRIMINATION ANY LONGER!!!
Producer, pouring Zoe-Clare another wine: interesting, tell us more about that
#TheBachelorAU
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My neck
My back
My feathers and my quack
(I’m a duck)
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A year ago I started doing stand up comedy and found a community of people who are smart and creative and inherently good. I love our community. I want this to be my career. I want to feel safe at work. I want to feel empowered at work. I want this to never happen again.
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Tonight would have been opening night of
#MICF
, meaning by now I would have had 5 pickle back shots and tried to flirt with three different clowns at Festival Club. :’(
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Best thing about being a Woman In Comedy is knowing I’ll never have to perform at The Comic’s Lounge.
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Should I buy a Cameo from
@megstalter
for myself for Valentine’s Day??? Asking for me.
The Valentine’s Day Cameo requests coming in are SO CUTE and I’m excitedddd so another reminder to order for your little cutie my sweet little Cupid angels 👼 ❣️🌸🌸👼🌹💋🍄🥰🍒🍒💀😇💔🥰😍😇🌸🌷😜🎂🍩🍤💔🍒🍤🌷🥰😇😇🎂🌹
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Sabina: I’m cooking a seafood stew inspired by the fish our family catches together
Minoli: I’m cooking the dish that my mum made for me after I got my sense of taste back post-chemo
Scott: I’m cooking for my cat
#masterchefau
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Squid Game has ruined my ability to watch any kind of competition show without waiting for someone to get shot.
#MasterchefAU
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I “accidentally” dressed as The Rock at
@comedyrepublic_
last night, dress for the job you want xx
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They’re finally addressing the blackface in the room now that the two queens of colour are gone?? Cool. COOL COOL COOL. COOOOOOL.
#DragRaceDownUnder
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‘I’m Trying To Find The Words To Describe This Girl Without Being Disrespectful’ is my debut standup show at
@micomfestival
and you can buy tickets NOW! 💕✨🙏
🎟️
#Melbourne
#MICF
#WomenInComedy
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Did anyone else go from being utterly obsessed with The Good Place to just kind of “meh” over the last two seasons? I just read the synopsis of the finale because I couldn’t be less interested in watching it.
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Sad day for white girls reflecting on their very first Contiki tour through Europe.
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I was on
#NationalWrap
tonight with the glorious
@PatsKarvelas
, it was such a treat & I am still in awe of her warmth, intelligence, & amazing orange jumpsuit. I always dreamed that my first spot on the telly would focus on Fatman Scoop. Thank you so much for having me!
@abcnews
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Haven’t been this upset about a reality TV BFF duo breaking up since Paris and Nicole.
#TheBachelorAU
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Georgia (11): “if you put the honey on the cake too early it will lose its flavour.”
Me (30): “hey google can I use pasta sauce as tomato paste?”
#JrMasterChefAU
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@Brocklesnitch
Literally this!! Besides being hateful and ignorant they are also ALWAYS such boring people.
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I doubt Abbie did this on purpose, but the reality is that white people don’t have to think about this kind of thing all the time, whereas First Nations people do, all day every day. Let’s stop taking up so much space in the media, please. Brooke deserves this moment. (2/2)
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Opened the show last night without any tech issues! 🤯 I finally set the projector screen on fire and switched to paper. I’m running this show like a Year 7 group presentation and I’ve never felt more at peace.
Back tonight, 6:45PM at Storyville. 💖 Pass holders welcome!
#MICF
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Tonight I did five minutes of new jokes centred on pregnancy/abortion to a room of all male comedians and no audience, and tbh the sound of their little buttholes tightening was more rewarding than any laughter I’ve ever received.
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Hey guys, wanna feel old?
I'm 30.
You're welcome.
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Using your niche comedy blog to review new comedians doing their first ever show just to shit all over them is so embarrassing.
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Tonight I went out for the third time since lockdown ended, ordered a burger using a QR code and somehow managed to fuck it up so badly that I ended up being served a plate with only the burger patty and nothing else. I’m going back inside, fam!!
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The GOAT of
@TGYHOfficial
Hamish Blake returning to the show ON MY BIRTHDAY after I spent months (years?) 🙏 obsessively 🙏 begging 🙏 for it to come back?? 🚬😎
#tgyh
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All I want is a politician who cares about making people’s lives better as much as improvisers care about choosing their team names.
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