Andrew Cogswell
@joyboygenius
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887
Following
631
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1,533
Statuses
17,931
Account Manager @VicariousPR | I like Dune, One Piece, my kid, and making lattes | ✉️ andrew @vicariouspr .com
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Joined March 2016
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1) fuck this dude
2) this was not intentional
3) Elden Ring rules and has the best comedic timing
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The Resident Evil boyfriend/Taylor Swift girlfriend pairing really won today.
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It also rules that he gets to see his mom doing what she’s always wanted to do.
I’ve been watching E3 shows for over a decade. It’s so cool to say
THATS MY FUCKING WIFE
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My wife should never have access to weed and the internet at the same time.
Kojima booty shorts AKA the best $25 I’ve ever spent
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I’m a dad now and it’s surreal.
I love you so much, lil man.
Jess was incredible and I’m still in awe on how strong she was. As always, Jess crushed it.
Yesterday I became a mama to this very very cute lil boy. He likes to coo himself to sleep and is already my favorite person on this entire planet. Love you to the moon and then some, Connor Nolan 💛
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Hi all.
Today I got offered a position in a field I've wanted to work in for years doing something I've always wanted to do.
So I'm now an Assistant Video Editor for a local video/event production company.
Keep your head down, work hard, and apply for jobs. It'll happen.
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So fun story
I tried sending this to a friend on twitter on Friday.
I looked in my DMs today to see if they had seen it.
Turns out I sent it to the director of Horizon Zero Dawn.
I immediately apologized and I have never been so mortified.
I’m going to bed now.
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.
@jessacogs
and I were spooning earlier and she asked what I wanted for lunch.
I gently whispered in her ear:
ᴮᵘᵍˢⁿᵃˣ
She got up and left the room
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Just passed a test for work I’ve been dreading all year.
The person who taught me how to use this video switcher didn’t pass his first time and he helped write the test.
I passed first try with a 90%
I’m one of a few hundred in the country that are certified on this machine.
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32 seems like a good age for a career change.
After five years in A/V, where I did countless events and spent way too much time in hotels and airports, I’m leaving that world behind and going to try actually using my degree for a change.
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Honestly this dual strike is great for everyone:
1) writers and actors get their demands met
2) I can catch up on my backlog of stuff to watch
3) billionaires lose money and cry
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Made some
@GameOverGreggy
style wings for the in-laws. Breaded Sweet Chili Lime and Unbreaded Buffalo.
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Fuck out of here. These lil pouches are great. Y’all ever take a NAP on one of these? Mmm squish.
Like, these are the LITERAL GUTS y’all talk about trying to get in to.
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Our son is due on the anniversary of Bloodborne.
Please everyone congratulate
@awildjessichu
and I on creating an eldritch horror/elder god
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Fuck Sean Pitts
Fuck Ginny Woo
Fuck that former IGN EiC
And fuck all the rest of them that haven’t been named
There are a couple others to add to this list that I hope get outted one day. They aren’t my stories to tell, but I stand with their victims until they are ready.
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My boss called me today and told me they’re restructuring my pay. I was expecting the worst.
I got a 25% salary increase and now get quarterly profit sharing bonuses.
I’ve been working this job for less than a year.
It turned from a really shitty day to a really great one.
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Coworker got a PS5 and a bunch of gift cards for Christmas and asked me for recommendations.
I suddenly forgot every video game that exists
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Lost my job today, so if you got anything remote/freelance, let me know.
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I already was a daddy, now I’m gonna be a dad(dy)
This year,
@cogsthewell
got me an INCREDIBLY unexpected but really, really good birthday present. Won’t be here until next March though 😫💕
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I’ve been watching E3 shows for over a decade. It’s so cool to say
THATS MY FUCKING WIFE
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Link doesn’t have his own restaurant
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This just cured all my imposter syndrome.
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Now that I’m officially a dad I can begin my metamorphosis into my final form
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I built a freaking computer.
And it turned on the first try!
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For Christmas
@awildjessichu
got this art commissioned for me (the artist doesn’t have Twitter, but link in the comments) to hang in the baby’s room.
It’s the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever received and I started crying pretty much immediately.
She’s incredible.
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Ninja is video game Mike Pence
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This is bullshit.
Until Blizzard installs the app on your phone without your permission a la U2 and Apple years ago, they aren't saying they are entitled to your phone.
They are releasing a game for a platform, no one is putting a gun to your head and making you download it.
This entitled gamer thing is bullshit. Can we talk about entitled devs or game companies as well?
"You all have phones right?"
You are not entitled to my phone. Nor my purchasing power nor my time.
You have to earn that. This is a consumer driven business folks.
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Brought Jess home tampons and said ‘here are your pussy plugs’ and dear reader, I can not describe the look of disappointment on her face.
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Happy one year anniversary to finding out about you, lil man.
You’re my best friend and make my life so much better.
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Happy birthday (and anniversary) to my best friend, mother to our pets, and my wifeeeeeee
@justjessisfine
Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou
You’ve been kicking so much ass lately and I can’t see what 27 has waiting for you.
Now let’s eat some birthday pancakes!
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The fucking game isn’t even out yet
THE FUCKING GAME ISN’T EVEN OUT YET
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Yeah baby, you know I got that SSD
Sad Sudden Depression
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You mean my wife has a big butt AND lets us live comfortably?
Yes please
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To all of you that told
@GameOverGreggy
that
@yourgeekygalpal
is your first thought for LGBT content: thank you.
Proud of this team beyond words.
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Well I did it.
After fifteen years of playing guitar, I finally can say "anyway here's Wonderwall" and actually deliver.
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Bruce got a new pack of bandannas. We call this one his Destiny bandanna.
He’s a lil Guardian.
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Grief is so weird.
My dad died almost 13 years ago. Today isn’t an anniversary of anything, but on my way home it dawned on me, like it has before, that I will never see him again. He’ll never meet my kid. I try to think about what he looks like and I can only see a single
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Just applied for the Associate Video Technician position at
@IGN
, which is essentially what I've always wanted to do for them.
Cross those fingers for me friends.
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You ever see tiddies so good you get chest pains?
Happy wedding anniversary
@awildjessichu
Looking forward to many more years of chest pains.
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*deep inhale*
MY FUCKING WIFEEEEEE YA’LL
happy one year to FF7R, I love you more than I love myself and SWEAR that one day I will do a proper Tifa cosplay 😤❤️
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Don’t tell the museum, but I found the finest piece of art and imma steal it.
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EVERYONE FORGET WE ANNOUNCED THE BABY. IM GOING TO OVER NIGHT EDIT A SMASH BROS STYLE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR THE BABY AND DROP IT AT 7 AM
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So for my 30th birthday,
@awildjessichu
went absolutely wild and got me the guitar I’ve wanted since I was in middle school and first started listening to
@Coheed
I’m over the fucking moon. First a kid, and now this? The woman is unstoppable.
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Imagine knowingly infecting people with a deadly disease and releasing a fucking ‘I’m Sorry’ YouTube video.
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Michael Cera as Ocelot please
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You ever just realize how lucky you are?
I mean, there’s a dog park IN my apartment complex. Not many people can say that.
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Bunch of weebs out on the town
And by out on the town I mean going to Walgreens and wearing masks like responsible adults.
(Jess told me this is the one she wanted me to post)
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We raised $3000 tonight for
@StopAAPIHate
Our goal was $500.
I really can’t express how much I love our community for always rallying and blowing us away. Every. Single. Time.
Lots of love to the rest of
@UppercutCrit
too for all doing our part to make this possible.
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CW: cancer
FIRST OFF IM FINE
I got my biopsy results back and the mass was benign and I don’t have cancer!
This has been weighing on me for months and it feels so good to just be done with it.
Jess continues to be the absolutely best caretaker while I recover and I love her.
CW: surgery/medical
Shoutout to
@jessacogs
for being the absolute best and taking care of me today. I had a lump the size of my fist taken out of my lower back this morning. I noticed it back in March and it kept getting bigger, so it was time for it to come out.
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Hey
@RoosterTeeth
@oddlittleduck
helped me get back into my FIRST account after not having access for months. They are really awesome and I want you to know they are doing a great job.
Thanks Duck!
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As of two days ago,
@awildjessichu
and I have been together for 13 years.
We celebrated by forgetting about it, taking care of our baby, and getting tattoos with
@notadamm
(who was there on our first date and when we got married)
She rules.
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We just compared
@uppercutcrit
's current numbers (patrons, subs, followers, page views, etc.) to last year's numbers and...
Holy shit, ya'll.
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You know it’s capital D Depression when the Taco Bell doesn’t even hit like it should.
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I just told
@jessacogs
her camo leggings made her look like Naked Snake and she yelled ‘I AM NAKED SNAKE’ and then tried to army crawl from the kitchen to the living room.
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‘Hey Andrew, What’d you do during the pandemic?’
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JESS MAKES IT SO EASY TO BE A WIFE GUY
So incredibly proud of her and thrilled to see all her hard work pay off.
I am beyond thrilled to announce that starting 12/14, I’m
@GameSpot
’s newest editor!! 😭💕✨ I cannot begin to express how grateful I am for the opportunity and for the chance to work alongside so many folks I deeply admire. Like... Y’all. This feels like a dream.
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I just bought Cheetos and a Mountain Dew and it cost $4.20.
I have been truly blessed this day.
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Jessica got new workout leggings and dear god Happy International Women’s Day to me.
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Hi friendly reminder that our government hasn't done jackshit about gun control and I was lucky to have left a little late to not walk directly into this situation.
Also, reminder that it's not too early to politicize this.
You kind of never ever want to get the phone call from your husband telling you he got to the event he’s working but there’s an active shooter and everyone’s being evacuated
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Almost just asked the tattoo artist ‘so what do you do?’ while he was tattooing me.
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Fire Emblem: Three Houses not being nominated for GOTY is a fucking crime.
I know none of this really matters, but that game ruled and deserved the attention and zeitgeist it had.
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With a median individual income of 31,000 USD, the 15 million dollar sign on bonus that Activision's new CFO took would have paid close to 500 employees salaries for a year.
500.
What Activision did today was horrible and disgusting.
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Female Playable Character
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.
@jessacogs
just sent me this picture from our wedding and I'm reminded that I love her very much and it may be my favorite picture of all time.
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Hey there, Stadia seems cool.
But remember, ISPs are still controlling traffic and are throttling speeds. If you want Stadia to succeed, vote for politicians who understand how important the internet is.
Gamers rise up (for real this time)
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Hey Canadians,
What's it like to have a government that gives a shit about you?
BREAKING: It's now illegal to buy, sell, transport, import, or use many assault-style weapons in Canada.
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