Jordan Ross Meyers Profile
Jordan Ross Meyers

@jordanrmeyers

Followers
2,605
Following
376
Media
1,331
Statuses
8,998
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
2 months
I literally just ate a piece of bread and calmed down. Her wisdom is infinite. 🙏 #rhobh
Tweet media one
25
954
8K
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 months
Hate to brag but I saw Aviva Drescher today. #rhony
Tweet media one
37
185
4K
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
The 2nd time this week I took a plastic grocery bag w/o paying the $0.10
Tweet media one
31
194
4K
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
5 months
Imagine my surprise bumping into Lisa Rinna at TJ Maxx. #rhobh
Tweet media one
20
81
3K
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
10 months
No milk and cookies for Santa- he’s on Ozempic this year. #MerryChristmas ! ✨
Tweet media one
10
139
2K
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 months
You have the wrong number, my love. #rhobh
Tweet media one
13
83
2K
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
8 months
Sandoval has issued an apology and assures us he only meant to say that he feels more isolated than Anne Frank in the annex. #PumpRules
20
74
1K
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Rita from Power Rangers. Same vibe. #RHOSLC
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
58
93
1K
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
Fact: Sutton did pay for Rinna’s seat at the Elton John party. ✔️ #rhobh #wwhl
35
49
1K
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
6 years
At least Kris Jenner was realistic enough to put her dim-witted daughters into porn and modeling instead of buying them fake college degrees.
23
143
1K
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
2 years
“We want grandchildren.” That’s nice, I wanted a trust fund.
7
135
1K
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
6 years
There is currently $51MIL worth of lawsuits against cast members of #RHOBH , and not a penny of those cases involves Lisa Vanderpump.
41
150
986
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
Spotted at Starbucks: Herman Munster shoes by Louis Vuitton. #rhony
Tweet media one
47
33
903
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Footage of Jenn Shah fleeing filming with the FBI on their way. #RHOSLC
Tweet media one
14
47
783
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
The Mid-2000s were our Roaring 20s, and 2020 is the Great Depression.
Tweet media one
7
65
577
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
6 years
Camille was the 3rd wife of a serial cheater who has 7 kids across 4 women. Naturally, she empathizes with trump. #RHOBH
21
39
430
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
Ever think about who runs those gift wrap fundraisers in elementary school? There’s some villain on a yacht living off of a 3rd grader pyramid scheme.
Tweet media one
3
29
437
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
The Brady Bunch had a live-in maid but only 2 bedrooms for 6 children.
23
20
413
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
2 years
Kristen was my favorite on #PumpRules . The chaotic dysfunction oozing from her pores was most relatable.
18
11
353
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Chrissy Teigen stopped tweeting updates on her super relatable life from her $25M Beverly Hills mansion? Aww 💔
10
19
302
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
2 years
I still get excited when they show Real Housewives smoking cigs on camera. It’s like being a kid and seeing your teacher buy wine at the grocery store.
6
11
281
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
17 days
Making Teresa Giudice’s marinara today. I looked up the best recipes and she actually beat Food Network. Wish me luck! #rhonj
18
10
283
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
5 years
My friend's cousin had her wedding today officiated by Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Top that. #RBG 👑
Tweet media one
314
29
237
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Sarah Paulson should stop talking about LVP and start preparing for her next role as Mary Kay Letourneau.
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
17
10
257
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
2 years
I guess you could say my Halloween has been.. Hunky Dory? 💎🎃 #rhobh
Tweet media one
10
6
251
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
It’s 2020 and we still don’t know who burned down Cheryl’s She Shed. 👀
15
34
254
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
If you grew up in the 90s, these are how you picture true wealth.
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
4
11
252
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
9 years
Donald's ignorance brings this poem to mind. Do not trust anyone who tries to gain power through hate. #TrumpOnCNN
Tweet media one
17
182
232
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
I spent 10min watching this season, but 2157 hours reading tweets about why you hated it. #rhony
4
8
242
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
You guys joke about Scott Disick being too old for Amelia, but trading Lionel Richie for Lisa Rinna must be pretty hard on him too. #RHOBH #KUWTK
10
15
240
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
2 months
My fav JLo movie is where she plays Carole Radziwill meeting Lee for the first time.
Tweet media one
3
11
250
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Jax Taylor Time Machine: MyPillow Guy
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
10
11
236
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Giggy and Tinkerbell, walking into Heaven past all the peasant dogs.
10
16
227
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Does Todd Chrisley remind anyone else of Terry from Reno 911?
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
13
13
209
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
Leah’s conversion story is like reading WebMD and saying you’re in med school. #RHONY
7
6
208
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
I just want to win the lottery so I can afford to let a Bravo show ruin my life.
2
21
199
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
5 months
I grew up with him on my TV every morning. A fixture in the daily routine of LA. Rest in Peace, Sam Rubin. 🙏 @KTLA
7
6
201
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Still processing that #RHOSLC has more Jewish cast members than #RHONY .
7
15
184
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Martin Scorsese should direct the next season of #RHONJ . Joe Pesci can play Caroline.
10
16
182
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
Convince me Dave Portnoy isn’t the spawn of Mark Zuckerberg & Screech.
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
6
14
156
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
A little at-home self care while the spas are closed.
Tweet media one
5
20
149
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
The prob with celeb “What I Eat In A Day” videos is that they leave out the Adderall and cigarettes.
2
7
154
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
The Kardashians don’t live in Calabasas anymore. They sleep in an SUV that circles Van Nuys Airport waiting for the next crisis photo op.
Tweet media one
7
10
145
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
6 years
The truth is timeless. #RHONY
Tweet media one
14
15
144
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
1 year
A Bravo Punk'd where Andy prank calls Real Housewives and tells them they’re fired.
0
14
150
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
The Girls Next Door ran so that the Kardashians could fly.
Tweet media one
0
17
148
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
I love how going to the Bravo website triggers ads for rehab.
Tweet media one
5
6
142
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
10 months
Holidays with the Hiltons. That’s hot.
Tweet media one
11
6
138
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
Everyone at this Starbucks is nice to me except for one bitchy cashier.
Tweet media one
4
5
137
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
2 years
“But what if you were aborted?” Honestly, my mom would have every right. I’m a high maintenance, problematic, expensive 35 y/o demon man child.
5
12
137
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
6 years
I have a theory that David Beador & Simon Barney are actually one person. #RHOC
Tweet media one
18
9
127
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
5 years
The World's Saddest Toddler Pageant. #rhony
Tweet media one
2
7
132
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
I just want to point out that Lee Radziwill died in 2019, and this is how the first year went without her.
2
7
128
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
5 years
I bet 1980's @LisaVanderpump & Ken were like the Tawny Kitaen/Whitesnake video rocking out in matching Jaguars. #RHOBH
2
7
124
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
42% of Disneyland’s revenue comes from divorced dads trying to buy their kids’ affection.
4
9
129
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
6 years
The original Ralph Lauren ad, before Ralph Lauren even existed. #RL50
Tweet media one
1
26
127
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
2 years
My Grandma telling me that my cousins are in the will too.
Tweet media one
4
12
126
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
6 years
When Vicki cried that "God hates divorce", did she think God likes cancer scams? #RHOC
3
12
117
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
7 months
Narcissism, gaslighting, scamming, Botox, Ozempic, and eating disorders. Bravo teaches everyone how to survive in LA.
1
10
124
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
Why wasn’t there police surveillance on Brian Laundrie? He was an uncooperative suspect in potential murder.
12
4
123
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
8 years
Eileen had an affair. Lisa Rinna should help her learn to "own it". #RHOBH
3
26
114
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
Giada’s guests must feel like hostages. ‘Mmm the fennel seeds in these quinoa brownies are so indulgent that I don’t even miss the chocolate… ‘
3
11
123
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
1 year
Imagine a Food Network Scandoval where Jeffrey Garten was cheating with Giada.
Tweet media one
4
13
123
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Considering Kyle is only on this show because of her niece with a sex tape who happens to be next door neighbors with Charlie Sheen... I’d tread lightly. #RHOBH
0
6
121
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
2 years
A tech glitch caused a snack company to ship me ELEVEN free boxes of chocolate covered frozen bananas. Time to pursue my dreams.
Tweet media one
7
8
122
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
5 years
Shout out to everyone who asked if I'm safe in these LA wildfires. It's touching that you think I can afford to live in Brentwood...
2
8
113
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Real Housewives are basically public school teachers. They give us their lives, then spend their 2 months off fighting for a new contract.
8
13
121
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Valley Village is shooketh tonight. #PumpRules
5
8
115
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Facebook is great for 1. Becoming emotionally invested in your 3rd grade classmate’s pregnancy/sobriety/divorce journey.
3
18
112
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
I get emails from luxury car brands saying they’ll deliver to my house, as if agoraphobia is the reason I haven’t bought a $150K SUV.
2
11
115
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
11 months
If I win the lottery I won’t tell anyone, but there will be signs.
Tweet media one
9
5
113
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Today my grandma asked me what a Karen is. I said “those pushy women at Costco with Honors Student stickers on their SUVs.” She understood.
3
14
110
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
10 months
Told my parents that I wash my sheets twice a week because I work from home in bed. I guess they hadn’t actually pictured my office setup before..
Tweet media one
2
7
107
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Fresh Prince fans have always known that Will should have stayed with Lisa. #redtabletalk
Tweet media one
1
7
105
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
2 years
We eat up this royal drama for the same reasons we watch Real Housewives. It’s comforting to know that people in castles and mansions are just as toxic as us.
2
12
109
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
5 months
Uber driver let me know he doesn’t speak English. Tossed me a bottle of water and on we went in silence. 5 Stars. Max Tip. 🫶
6
4
109
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
FACT: You could scrap half the cast of #RHOBH and replace them all with just @TheRealCamilleG . 👑👏😂
@TheRealCamilleG
Camille Meyer
4 years
So most of the cast now lives in Encino? They need to change the name of the show to “The Real Housewives of the Valley”
306
230
3K
10
7
105
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
2 months
A Bravo Birthday to Meee! 🥂 Celebrated my big night at the Diamonds & Rosé party. #rhoc #pumprules
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
21
8
108
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
5 years
They should recast #RHONY as the Real Sister Wives of Harry Dubin.
Tweet media one
9
6
103
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
5 months
Peacock needs to open the vault on 2000s E!, when anyone in LA with a froyo shop or Perez Hilton mention was handed a show. The Criterion Collection of Reality TV.
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
4
12
106
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
2 years
My Grandma’s 90th Birthday! 🎊🥂 (with her favorite grandchild)
Tweet media one
22
0
106
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Got a homeless lady all the stuff she needed at the 99 Cent Store today. Not a humble brag- but a reminder you can help if you can afford Taco Bell.
5
4
102
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Post-Covid breakups will fight over custody of the air fryer.
2
6
104
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Dorit/Garcelle/Rinna’s convo about Denise’s social media strategy pretty much captures friendship in LA. #RHOBH
5
2
105
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
Kinda hungover from Brandi’s birthday, but totally worth it. 🥂 #rhobh
Tweet media one
16
2
104
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
5 years
These days we are all Jerry Seinfeld watching Poppie skip washing his hands.
3
26
104
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
If you pick up your kid in an Uber, do the other parents know that you’re drunk?
11
8
101
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
Fascinated by time capsule homes that were the height of luxury in their eras. Picture it. Encino, 1985...
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
4
7
102
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
2 years
Protein shake for lunch wasn’t enough, but I’m trying to hold out for dinner. Consulting my life coach now. 🙏 #rhobh
2
6
102
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
2 years
Made eye contact with security as I stole an extra $.10 grocery bag.
1
6
101
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
Surprised my niece and nephew tonight on their first trip to Disneyland.
Tweet media one
10
1
96
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
8 years
Who is Bethenny to question Jules' brand of Judaism? Frankel still refuses to admit she inherited her Jewish father's fortune. #RHONY
8
14
91
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
8 years
Dorit has trouble finding kosher food in BEVERLY HILLS? Is she blind, deaf, a shiksa in disguise, or all of the above? #RHOBH
11
15
86
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
5 years
Harry and Meghan pretty much said "OK Boomer" to the entire monarchy.
2
22
93
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
1 year
My parents asked if I needed anything from Costco. I said Ozempic and they bought me a cheesecake instead.
Tweet media one
3
4
98
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
This lady in Starbucks is wearing an oversized tan sweater, jeans with suede, heeled boots and a Louis bag. The Pumpkin Spice Coven could appear in your own backyard next. 😬
Tweet media one
6
10
93
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
3 years
My Mom found Bob Saget in her high school yearbook. (Birmingham ‘73). Encino in the 70’s was its own world.
Tweet media one
2
7
93
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
6 years
Michelle Obama, Caroline Kennedy, Maria Shriver, Oprah. THE NEW MOUNT RUSHMORE.
Tweet media one
3
10
96
@jordanrmeyers
Jordan Ross Meyers
4 years
Remember when TMZ was fun? I miss Lindsay Lohan.
3
6
92