Jordan Ross Meyers
@jordanrmeyers
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Creator of @DonnGunvalson and @RadziwillLee Podcast: @prettycorrupt1 jordanrossmeyers @gmail .com
Los Angeles, CA
Joined January 2009
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The 2nd time this week I took a plastic grocery bag w/o paying the $0.10
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Sandoval has issued an apology and assures us he only meant to say that he feels more isolated than Anne Frank in the annex.
#PumpRules
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At least Kris Jenner was realistic enough to put her dim-witted daughters into
porn and modeling instead of buying them fake college degrees.
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“We want grandchildren.”
That’s nice, I wanted a trust fund.
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There is currently $51MIL worth of lawsuits against cast members of
#RHOBH
,
and not a penny of those cases involves Lisa Vanderpump.
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The Mid-2000s were our Roaring 20s, and 2020 is the Great Depression.
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Camille was the 3rd wife of a serial cheater who has 7 kids across 4 women.
Naturally, she empathizes with trump.
#RHOBH
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430
Ever think about who runs those gift wrap fundraisers in elementary school?
There’s some villain on a yacht living off of a 3rd grader pyramid scheme.
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The Brady Bunch had a live-in maid but only 2 bedrooms for 6 children.
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Kristen was my favorite on
#PumpRules
. The chaotic dysfunction oozing from her pores was most relatable.
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Chrissy Teigen stopped tweeting updates on her super relatable life from her $25M Beverly Hills mansion? Aww 💔
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I still get excited when they show Real Housewives smoking cigs on camera.
It’s like being a kid and seeing your teacher buy wine at the grocery store.
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Making Teresa Giudice’s marinara today.
I looked up the best recipes and she actually beat Food Network. Wish me luck!
#rhonj
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My friend's cousin had her wedding today officiated by Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Top that.
#RBG
👑
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Sarah Paulson should stop talking about LVP and start preparing for her next role as Mary Kay Letourneau.
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It’s 2020 and we still don’t know who burned down Cheryl’s She Shed. 👀
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If you grew up in the 90s, these are how you picture true wealth.
4
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Donald's ignorance brings this poem to mind.
Do not trust anyone who tries to gain power through hate.
#TrumpOnCNN
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I spent 10min watching this season, but 2157 hours reading tweets about why you hated it.
#rhony
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My fav JLo movie is where she plays Carole Radziwill meeting Lee for the first time.
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Giggy and Tinkerbell, walking into Heaven past all the peasant dogs.
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Does Todd Chrisley remind anyone else of Terry from Reno 911?
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I just want to win the lottery so I can afford to let a Bravo show ruin my life.
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I grew up with him on my TV every morning. A fixture in the daily routine of LA.
Rest in Peace, Sam Rubin. 🙏
@KTLA
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Convince me Dave Portnoy isn’t the spawn of Mark Zuckerberg & Screech.
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A little at-home self care while the spas are closed.
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The prob with celeb “What I Eat In A Day” videos is that they leave out the Adderall and cigarettes.
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The Kardashians don’t live in Calabasas anymore. They sleep in an SUV that circles Van Nuys Airport waiting for the next crisis photo op.
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A Bravo Punk'd where Andy prank calls Real Housewives and tells them they’re fired.
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The Girls Next Door ran so that the Kardashians could fly.
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I love how going to the Bravo website triggers ads for rehab.
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Everyone at this Starbucks is nice to me except for one bitchy cashier.
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“But what if you were aborted?”
Honestly, my mom would have every right. I’m a high maintenance, problematic, expensive 35 y/o demon man child.
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I just want to point out that Lee Radziwill died in 2019, and this is how the first year went without her.
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I bet 1980's
@LisaVanderpump
& Ken were like the Tawny Kitaen/Whitesnake video rocking out in matching Jaguars.
#RHOBH
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42% of Disneyland’s revenue comes from divorced dads trying to buy their kids’ affection.
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My Grandma telling me that my cousins are in the will too.
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Narcissism, gaslighting, scamming, Botox, Ozempic, and eating disorders.
Bravo teaches everyone how to survive in LA.
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Why wasn’t there police surveillance on Brian Laundrie? He was an uncooperative suspect in potential murder.
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Giada’s guests must feel like hostages.
‘Mmm the fennel seeds in these quinoa brownies are so indulgent that I don’t even miss the chocolate… ‘
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Imagine a Food Network Scandoval where Jeffrey Garten was cheating with Giada.
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Considering Kyle is only on this show because of her niece with a sex tape who happens to be next door neighbors with Charlie Sheen... I’d tread lightly.
#RHOBH
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A tech glitch caused a snack company to ship me ELEVEN free boxes of chocolate covered frozen bananas.
Time to pursue my dreams.
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Shout out to everyone who asked if I'm safe in these LA wildfires.
It's touching that you think I can afford to live in Brentwood...
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Real Housewives are basically public school teachers. They give us their lives, then spend their 2 months off fighting for a new contract.
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Facebook is great for
1. Becoming emotionally invested in your 3rd grade classmate’s pregnancy/sobriety/divorce journey.
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I get emails from luxury car brands saying they’ll deliver to my house, as if agoraphobia is the reason I haven’t bought a $150K SUV.
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If I win the lottery I won’t tell anyone, but there will be signs.
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Today my grandma asked me what a Karen is.
I said “those pushy women at Costco with Honors Student stickers on their SUVs.”
She understood.
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Told my parents that I wash my sheets twice a week because I work from home in bed.
I guess they hadn’t actually pictured my office setup before..
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We eat up this royal drama for the same reasons we watch Real Housewives.
It’s comforting to know that people in castles and mansions are just as toxic as us.
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Uber driver let me know he doesn’t speak English. Tossed me a bottle of water and on we went in silence. 5 Stars. Max Tip. 🫶
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FACT: You could scrap half the cast of
#RHOBH
and replace them all with just
@TheRealCamilleG
. 👑👏😂
So most of the cast now lives in Encino? They need to change the name of the show to “The Real Housewives of the Valley”
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A Bravo Birthday to Meee! 🥂
Celebrated my big night at the Diamonds & Rosé party.
#rhoc
#pumprules
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Peacock needs to open the vault on 2000s E!, when anyone in LA with a froyo shop or Perez Hilton mention was handed a show.
The Criterion Collection of Reality TV.
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My Grandma’s 90th Birthday! 🎊🥂
(with her favorite grandchild)
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Got a homeless lady all the stuff she needed at the 99 Cent Store today.
Not a humble brag- but a reminder you can help if you can afford Taco Bell.
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Post-Covid breakups will fight over custody of the air fryer.
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Dorit/Garcelle/Rinna’s convo about Denise’s social media strategy pretty much captures friendship in LA.
#RHOBH
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These days we are all Jerry Seinfeld watching Poppie skip washing his hands.
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If you pick up your kid in an Uber, do the other parents know that you’re drunk?
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Fascinated by time capsule homes that were the height of luxury in their eras.
Picture it. Encino, 1985...
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Protein shake for lunch wasn’t enough, but I’m trying to hold out for dinner.
Consulting my life coach now. 🙏
#rhobh
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Made eye contact with security as I stole an extra $.10 grocery bag.
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Surprised my niece and nephew tonight on their first trip to Disneyland.
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Who is Bethenny to question Jules' brand of Judaism?
Frankel still refuses to admit she inherited her Jewish father's fortune.
#RHONY
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Dorit has trouble finding kosher food in BEVERLY HILLS?
Is she blind, deaf, a shiksa in disguise, or all of the above?
#RHOBH
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Harry and Meghan pretty much said "OK Boomer" to the entire monarchy.
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My parents asked if I needed anything from Costco. I said Ozempic and they bought me a cheesecake instead.
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This lady in Starbucks is wearing an oversized tan sweater, jeans with suede, heeled boots and a Louis bag.
The Pumpkin Spice Coven could appear in your own backyard next. 😬
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My Mom found Bob Saget in her high school yearbook. (Birmingham ‘73).
Encino in the 70’s was its own world.
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Michelle Obama, Caroline Kennedy, Maria Shriver, Oprah.
THE NEW MOUNT RUSHMORE.
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