Jo Elvin
@jo_elvin
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Editor. Writer. Broadcaster. Consultant. Former editor of You and Glamour magazines. Instagram @jo_elvin
Joined December 2008
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Me to driver: ‘So sorry, do you mind if I eat my sandwich in your car?’ Driver: ‘An England striker once had sex in it, a sandwich is really no problem.’ I’m doing life all wrong, aren’t I.
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If you need me I’ll be in Zara returning all the clothes my daughter basically told me I was an arsehole for buying her.
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Today is the day I accidentally flashed a good 80% of my boobs on a work Zoom meeting. I... baZoomed the room. Now I must fake my own death and start a new life.
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Caroline had so many people in her life who loved her. Including me. I am shocked, devastated and in such pain for her family and all the people I know who regard her as a sister. How can this be happening.
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When Duchess Kate wears something more than once, she is not 'recycling'. She is just doing what you're supposed to with your clothes.
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We made it to the shortest day, everyone! From tomorrow there’s a tiny bit more daylight every day. This always cheers me.
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Wrote a column about my sadness for young people at the moment, the stresses, the isolation & some are cross with me because other young people went to war in the 40s. Do people need to be being murdered and maimed before we sympathise? Can't I feel compassion for both things?
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How is it at all acceptable to even be able to get hold of a crossbow? I am so shaken and angry and sad about the news today. My useless thoughts and love are with John Hunt.
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Where can I sign something once and for all to let the world know I ACCEPT ALL COOKIES. FUCKING ALL OF THEM.
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Tonight, I am going to a reunion for Sugar magazine, with the people who launched it in 1994 and worked on it through the 90s. It was 25 years ago last week that it launched. Who remembers?!
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Dear writers, I don’t speak for all commissioning editors, but I have certainly reached the limits of what I can learn from what you have learned during lockdown.
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Breaks from social media is inarguably a good thing. Why does it need an announcement or hashtag though? In old money, imagine phoning someone in the 80s to tell them you were going to spend the day not using the phone. Just do it.
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A few weeks ago, some joked that we looked alike. Here's the proof that nope,
@Louis_Tomlinson
is way prettier!
http://t.co/13kJflf2
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If you need a clue for today’s Wordle it’s that the word IS NOT A WORD
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I've just been in the audience for the first time as the Duchess of Sussex addressed the media at the launch of the
@SmartWorksHQ
collection. Probably one of the most engaging, sincere speakers I've ever seen.
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I told my husband he cooks the most amazing bolognaise and I’ve flattered him into doing that and I’m sitting down drinking wine 👍👍👍👍
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@junodawson
And who decided trousers are 'gender-neutral'? Why are skirts girls only? Surely all genders can wear what the hell they want? Isn't that the point of inclusion/acceptance?
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To be honest this whole evening is making me wonder more than ever about the point of social media.
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My friend Ian learned today that Erinsborough is an anagram of Neighbours. His wife Lindsay ridiculing him for not knowing that. I worked on that show and I didn’t know this either!
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Have just stood for 10 minutes, wine glass in hand, at the entirely wrong party. My invitation, I now see, is for the hotel *across the road* from Hampton Court Palace. Thought everyone looked posher than my usual crowd
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Has anyone here ever had a glass of wine while standing under a cold shower or am I the first person alive to come up with this incredible idea?
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Husband & I agreed not to buy each other presents for Christmas and the child in me still feeling bereft about this, two days later.
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I just got invited to get my vaccine! About time being an old bag started paying off.
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I'm at that stage of lockdown where I've noticed that everything in my house must be put immediately into a skip, even though I will never now be able to afford to replace anything in my house.
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Finished work for the day and thought I might do some laundry but then thought, no, save some fun for tomorrow.
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Not to be dramatic, but I'm having the Monday-iest Monday of all the shite Mondays ever. Send jokes, chocolate, booze, puppies.
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I love this.
Is this one of the great personal ads/corrections of all time?
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If you think the arts are 'fluffy' or hobbies, fine. But I don't understand how anyone doesn't understand they are at the epicentre of our economy. Hotels? Restaurants? Coach companies? Taxis? They'll all struggle without it.
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When you’re interviewing a Hollywood A-lister on Zoom and suddenly your dog starts throwing up and you just both sit there listening to that awful noise until it’s done. Oh my god.
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If this goes on much longer I’m going to have to talk to my family.
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I’ll say this about Melania: already excited for her tell-all book.
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Here is the news.
1/2: We’re delighted to announce that
@jo_elvin
has been appointed as CEO of Children with Cancer UK.
David Gibbs, Chair of Trustees said: “We’re absolutely delighted to welcome Jo onboard. She has in-depth business knowledge, credibility, experience and leadership skills.”
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I miss massages. Not the shitty ones I get at home from an eye-rolling partner, proper ones in posh salons with plinky plonky music.
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Just occurred to me: The clocks go forward on 30th March which means we lose an hour on Mother’s Day. I smell a patriarchal conspiracy.
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Dave Grohl seems like the nicest man in this and probably all other worlds, right?
#ComicRelief
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Just had an email from a reader who is disgusted that the word ‘bloody’ is used in my editor’s letter. I think one real life conversation with me might kill her. 😳
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I chose wine over the peloton tonight because who even cares anymore
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I think this is what the kids call a 'sick burn'.
Dear Theresa, it's not the number of MPs that counts it's how you use them. You have to do more with less that's all 😂👏👍
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Asking my 15yo last night if she ever gets harassed by men on the walk to school. It’s a 10-minute walk. It’s so regular she said she’s never thought to mention it.
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I have dared to buy my daughter some new summer clothes without her strict supervision. Pray for me.
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I've just had a press release about Gwyneth Paltrow's masturbatory lockdown habits, good morning.
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Daughter just got her all her maths homework Qs right - except the one I helped her with. And that's the more valuable lesson.
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Two of my friends have lost parents to this cruel bastard virus now. Knowing that certainly stops me getting annoyed about being confined to my house for a while. 😞
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Thank you
@elliegoulding
for the screening of
@RacingXtinction
- alarming yes, but motivating. We can all make changes for our planet.
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Ladies, shit - he’s onto us.
Another reason why women wear lipstick:
As they age, women’s lips start fading and thinning out.
It’s a sign of declining fertility, which helps men who want children to look for younger women.
Brightening and glossing lips is an attempt to countersignal this reality.
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Why did I marry a man so staunchly against weeknight takeaways? Even after a six-hour drive from Nottingham to London? Learn from my mistake, everyone.
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Drank some magnesium last night and for the first time in weeks, slept like the dead. Hard recommend.
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I was always amazed that you managed to keep hold of the award, with logo visible and everything. Outstanding.
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I have just witnessed the most ludicrous fight in my local Tesco, involving a man ripping open a pack of spuds to hurl them with great force at another man. Reasons unclear.
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So, One Direction are quite popular aren't they? Jesus, my phone wants to die.
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Wait, wait... who decided everything was about ‘saving Christmas’. Christmas Day really isn’t all that, let’s be honest.
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On my way to my first day as editor of
@YOUMagSocial
! I’d say wish me luck, but snow + public transport = I’ll be lucky to even get there.
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Tweeting me to tell me you don’t care about something I’ve tweeted, is not really the energy of someone who doesn’t care.
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Seriously think Joe and Jake deserved way more points, best UK entry in years. 👏👏👏👏
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I don't know about you, but I'm not much in the mood for 'an historic weather event' this week. It doesn't really fit in with my plans.
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Another day, another press release about mums feeling guilty about returning to work. Am I the only mum who feels guilty about *not* feeling guilty about working? Really would like to know.
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‘Ripe and ready to eat’ is the biggest damn lie the middle classes have ever been asked to swallow. I’ve fallen for it again.
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Everyone in my house quite disgusted that I have butter with my peanut butter on toast. But I gotta be me.
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Daughter says I have ‘ruined the entire weekend’ because I have pan-fried some sea bass.
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A tough week as a lot of you know, but today I am telling myself that at least I am not Donna Karan's publicist.
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If you are the person who sent me this delightful note, but didn’t see fit to put your name to it, I hope you open your favourite bag of crisps today and find them to be 52% air. I’ll be over here ROCKING IT!
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Every now and again it enrages me that my husband is ferociously against mid-week takeaways.
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I am absolutely choking on celebrity bullshit today. But guys..... 🙌🙌🙌🙌
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Uncool of Stephen Fry to say bafta winning costume designer dressed like a 'bag lady'. I was thinking it was cool she wore what she wanted.
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I imagine most of us are feeling quite heartbroken about Sir Tom Moore's passing. But what a legacy. None of us who've lived through all this will ever forget him. Much love and sympathy to his family, who must be so proud.
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Not a great feeling when a man looks better in your glasses than you do
@KP24
@JessicaLibertyX
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Can’t believe Instagram is failing us on the darkest Brexit day yet. So desperate for distraction I might have to talk to my husband.
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Today I finally remembered to throw away that 1 pair of underpants that I always forget are too tight and make me feel fat every time I put them on. A great day.
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How is
@BegumNadiya
not 5000 stone what with baking those insanely orgasmic cakes on that telly?!
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I once saw Robin Thicke shopping in Crate & Barrel in LA, looking at placemats. I kind of wanted to sidle up and say, ‘I know you want it’ but I’m glad I didn’t. End of this incredible story.
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As my husband just said, watching this much CNN, we almost feel like we’re on holiday somewhere.
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Daughter watching Pose & couldn’t comprehend someone being disowned for being gay. Hadn’t occurred to her young mind. Things DO change ❤️
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Just had a press release suggesting I buy my mum a vibrator. I honestly think she’d prefer a new dressing gown.
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Unusually, enjoying a girl’s loud phone chat on train. Seems her mate’s blagged a French teaching job with ‘Joey from Friends’ level French
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Biggest 😲😲😲😲😲 of the day for me? Seeing 'my' hairdresser
@georgenorthwood
sitting in the church! He cut my hair on Wednesday & and gave no clues that he was doing Meghan's party hair!!!!!!
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Watching two women expertly apply liquid eyeliner on a really bumpy train ride and wondering how is this not an event at the Olympics?
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Please just spare us the shitty powerpoint slides. Just tell us. Quickly.
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I’ll level with you, right now I have no idea what day my kid is supposed to be back at school.
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I am so disappointed in the poor life choices I have made that have led me to this day where I do not own a swimming pool.
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