Me to driver: ‘So sorry, do you mind if I eat my sandwich in your car?’ Driver: ‘An England striker once had sex in it, a sandwich is really no problem.’ I’m doing life all wrong, aren’t I.
Today is the day I accidentally flashed a good 80% of my boobs on a work Zoom meeting. I... baZoomed the room. Now I must fake my own death and start a new life.
Caroline had so many people in her life who loved her. Including me. I am shocked, devastated and in such pain for her family and all the people I know who regard her as a sister. How can this be happening.
My daughter’s K-pop obsession has presented me with some of the worst things I’ve ever seen in my life. But… this is the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life. TAEMIN 태민 'Advice' MV via
@YouTube
Wrote a column about my sadness for young people at the moment, the stresses, the isolation & some are cross with me because other young people went to war in the 40s. Do people need to be being murdered and maimed before we sympathise? Can't I feel compassion for both things?
How is it at all acceptable to even be able to get hold of a crossbow? I am so shaken and angry and sad about the news today. My useless thoughts and love are with John Hunt.
Tonight, I am going to a reunion for Sugar magazine, with the people who launched it in 1994 and worked on it through the 90s. It was 25 years ago last week that it launched. Who remembers?!
Dear writers, I don’t speak for all commissioning editors, but I have certainly reached the limits of what I can learn from what you have learned during lockdown.
Breaks from social media is inarguably a good thing. Why does it need an announcement or hashtag though? In old money, imagine phoning someone in the 80s to tell them you were going to spend the day not using the phone. Just do it.
I've just been in the audience for the first time as the Duchess of Sussex addressed the media at the launch of the
@SmartWorksHQ
collection. Probably one of the most engaging, sincere speakers I've ever seen.
@junodawson
And who decided trousers are 'gender-neutral'? Why are skirts girls only? Surely all genders can wear what the hell they want? Isn't that the point of inclusion/acceptance?
My friend Ian learned today that Erinsborough is an anagram of Neighbours. His wife Lindsay ridiculing him for not knowing that. I worked on that show and I didn’t know this either!
Have just stood for 10 minutes, wine glass in hand, at the entirely wrong party. My invitation, I now see, is for the hotel *across the road* from Hampton Court Palace. Thought everyone looked posher than my usual crowd
I'm at that stage of lockdown where I've noticed that everything in my house must be put immediately into a skip, even though I will never now be able to afford to replace anything in my house.
If you think the arts are 'fluffy' or hobbies, fine. But I don't understand how anyone doesn't understand they are at the epicentre of our economy. Hotels? Restaurants? Coach companies? Taxis? They'll all struggle without it.
When you’re interviewing a Hollywood A-lister on Zoom and suddenly your dog starts throwing up and you just both sit there listening to that awful noise until it’s done. Oh my god.
1/2: We’re delighted to announce that
@jo_elvin
has been appointed as CEO of Children with Cancer UK.
David Gibbs, Chair of Trustees said: “We’re absolutely delighted to welcome Jo onboard. She has in-depth business knowledge, credibility, experience and leadership skills.”
Just had an email from a reader who is disgusted that the word ‘bloody’ is used in my editor’s letter. I think one real life conversation with me might kill her. 😳
Asking my 15yo last night if she ever gets harassed by men on the walk to school. It’s a 10-minute walk. It’s so regular she said she’s never thought to mention it.
Two of my friends have lost parents to this cruel bastard virus now. Knowing that certainly stops me getting annoyed about being confined to my house for a while. 😞
Another reason why women wear lipstick:
As they age, women’s lips start fading and thinning out.
It’s a sign of declining fertility, which helps men who want children to look for younger women.
Brightening and glossing lips is an attempt to countersignal this reality.
Why did I marry a man so staunchly against weeknight takeaways? Even after a six-hour drive from Nottingham to London? Learn from my mistake, everyone.
I have just witnessed the most ludicrous fight in my local Tesco, involving a man ripping open a pack of spuds to hurl them with great force at another man. Reasons unclear.
Another day, another press release about mums feeling guilty about returning to work. Am I the only mum who feels guilty about *not* feeling guilty about working? Really would like to know.
If you are the person who sent me this delightful note, but didn’t see fit to put your name to it, I hope you open your favourite bag of crisps today and find them to be 52% air. I’ll be over here ROCKING IT!
I imagine most of us are feeling quite heartbroken about Sir Tom Moore's passing. But what a legacy. None of us who've lived through all this will ever forget him. Much love and sympathy to his family, who must be so proud.
Today I finally remembered to throw away that 1 pair of underpants that I always forget are too tight and make me feel fat every time I put them on. A great day.
I once saw Robin Thicke shopping in Crate & Barrel in LA, looking at placemats. I kind of wanted to sidle up and say, ‘I know you want it’ but I’m glad I didn’t. End of this incredible story.
Biggest 😲😲😲😲😲 of the day for me? Seeing 'my' hairdresser
@georgenorthwood
sitting in the church! He cut my hair on Wednesday & and gave no clues that he was doing Meghan's party hair!!!!!!