saw quotes
@jigsaw_quotes
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You believe your applebee's waitress can survive on a 15% tip, well let's see if you can survive on 15% of your blood.
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You love to cut “toxic friends” out of your life when it suits you. but can you cut off the toxic parts of your body as the ultimate act of self care? I’ve injected a lethal dose of saline directly into your testicles,.
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Hello Daniel, I've watched you harass the homeless people near your luxury apartment, calling them names & telling them to "get a job". Well, good news Daniel: I hired them all. 6-figure salary + excellent benefits. Their job. is to bring me your teeth and fingernails.
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OH MY GOD did you just cut that guy's chest open? I said the key was inside his stomach, you just had to make him throw up using the smelly socks, where did you get that knife??? is he ok? Is he dead?? I'm gonna call 911 idk what to do oh my god oh no this isn't happening.
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if you dont cum in 10 seconds im gonna release the poison gas.
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Are you truly prepared to do whatever it takes to “live laugh love”? Or will this be the last “wine o’clock” you ever have? The choice is yours.
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You call yourself a girlboss, well to escape from this room, you will have to break a different kind of glass ceiling: a literal ceiling made of glass.
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Hello Ryan, your test today is to drink from the milk carton on the table. how does it taste? . it doesn't taste sour to you? kinda tasted weird to me. hmm ok, I thought it went bad, but maybe not. Thanks, you can leave.
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Congratulations Judy, you passed my tests. You truly do appreciate life. There's one last room. Don't worry there aren't any more traps, just an optional survey. As a puzzle designer I'm always trying to improve my traps, and your honest feedback would be greatly appreciated ☺️.
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Hello Darryl, for weeks you have carelessly left your dirty cast iron pan in the sink to accumulate rust. Your kind roommates clean and re-season the pan, but soon you cook another shitty steak and repeat the process. I put 450g of rust in your blood, idk what's gonna happen tbh
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AAAA nooo time's up!!! Ok I don't normally do this but I'm gonna add 5 more minutes to the timer because you've done such a good job with these puzzles and you're like LITERALLY at the end of this test. You've got this buddy we're all rooting for you!!.
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If it wasn't obvious, phones are NOT allowed in trap rooms. We've had cases of people sneaking devices into tests and looking up walkthroughs online. Some are even trying to get caught so they can "speed run" traps? Try to "skip" my lesson and I will "tool assist" your kneecaps.
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wow uh sorry my trap wasn't supposed to do that. sorry im opening the exit now you can just leave im sorry.
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You people think I'M sick, but you never talk about the biggest trap of all. the US healthcare system.
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DETECTIVE HOFFMAN: What’s with the gay little puppet?.JIGSAW: Come on now.
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Ok well the guy at Home Depot is starting to recognize me which ok whatever that’s the risk of the game but I think he thinks I’m getting this stuff for sex reasons and like what do I do there. I can’t tell him it’s for traps.
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I miss the old days when no on knew who I was, I could put someone in a trap and see if they had the will to survive. Now everyone just ignores the puzzles and immediately start yelling "SHOW PUPPET" until they see my puppet, and then yell "PUPPET POG" or "PUPPET HYPE".
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You never really appreciate what you have until it’s gone. Cut your foot off.
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Hello Bean Dad. Everyone may have forgotten about you, but I haven't.
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Hello Nina, before you is a delicious marshmallow. You're allowed to eat it now, but if you wait 20 minutes then you can have a second marshmallow later. One marshmallow now or two marshmallows later, the choice is yours.
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Hello Chris. I didn't have time to build a trap today so I'm just gonna call you out on Twitter.
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You say you love your son, but you won’t let him have friends over after 10, and you say he can’t have Mountain Dew, even on a weekend? You won’t even let him watch R-Rated movies. Why do you only care about your son when Ive placed him in a dryer full of needles?.
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Hello detective. You’ve spent your whole career trying to find me. But can you find. love? Before you are my three beautiful sisters.
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I’m not doing anymore inflation traps. The last guy was weird about it. Stop asking to be put in one.
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I don't think you guys understand how expensive this is.
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Whatever. The keys on the table. Use it or don’t. I don’t care anymore.
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Hello Thomas. or as your friends call you, "Tommy Salami". You have convinced them you're 100% Pure Blood Italian, but you and I know the truth. you're actually Greek. Before you is a delicious Baklava and a poisoned Cannoli. Live Greek or Die Italian, make your choice.
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Jesus calm down, it’s just a game. No need to get so heated. Sounds like I should’ve put you in there for your anger issues instead of the manslaughter thing. Prick.
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Hello Peter, your drug addiction has been a burden on you and everyone in your life. Now look I'm gonna be honest, my traps haven't been very effective. I've been reading some books lately and learned about something called "Positive Reinforcement". Before you is a room of treats
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You didn’t. You didn’t need to kill your cellmate to escape this one. I didn’t even try to trick you into doing it this time you just went for it. Jesus Christ.
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Congratulations Peter, you solved that test in under 5 minutes and unlocked the Secret Treat Room. There's no traps in here, just a bowl of Reese's Pieces. Go ahead and relax in here for as long as you like.
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My next film is going to be called “Jigsaw: Origins” and it’s going to be looking at some of my first traps and how I became the game master you all know and love today. I’m also going to have full penetrative sex, on screen, you’ll see it go in.
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I will be honest, I assumed Darrell was going to make it through the last room, so the traps in here uh probably won’t make a lot of sense to those of you remaining. He was involved in an insurance fraud thing, it’s like, god, it would be so much easier to explain if he was here.
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You’ll have to perform this trap in the dark. It’s too scary. I can’t watch you do it. sorry. .
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You say you love your best friend, even though you’ve never even gone on a date together., But do you love him so much that you’d marry him, to save your own life? Before you is a beautiful wedding ring.
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Are you truly willing to give thanks? Or will you allow yourself to be carved up like a turkey? In front of you is your racist uncle.
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The rules are simple:.-Must be following my account.-Must retweet this post by March 23.-Cannot enter with multiple accounts, or giveaway only accounts. I will be picking five subjects randomly to be entered into my next trap. Good luck and thank you for all the support!!.
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Human nature is quite resilient. If you break a mans arm, you hobble him, and he can’t use it. But if you teach a man how to break his own arm? Then he can open any door that has some sort of mechanism where your arm needs to be broken to open it. Before you stands such a door.
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To unlock the door, you need to download Flappy Bird on your phone.
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For years you have called yourself Not so Grump. Well today, we will found out just how not grump you really are.
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Shut da fuck up.
I was the original sus. #ScreamMovie cosmetics are now available on @AmongUsGame for a limited time.
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Well, Elizabeth didn’t make it through the last challenge. Let’s see how you much better you fare, Charles.
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The rule is now simple: get vaccinated or wear a mask until you do. The choice is yours.
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Congratulations, you have learned to appreciate life. Unfortunately you also now have lockjaw. Sorry.
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Yeah I dug a pit and you got to climb out. “That’s it?” yeah that’s it. I’m trying a minimalist thing now. Didn’t know you all were so fucking married to all the gears and keys and shit sorry I guess!!! My bad for trying to mix things up, fuck me right ??!.
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The only “blockchain” I’m interested in is this chain connected to a block, which will drop to the ground, pulling you through the steel grate beneath you, if you don’t solve my devious Mad Lib before the timer reaches zero.
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Hello Gerald. Sixteen weeks ago, you told a man he couldn’t return his opened Nintendo Switch without a receipt. Now it is you who must find the key to your survival in this bowl of razor blades. It’s kind of a loose metaphor but stick with me here.
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Did you know that in Ancient Greece, they couldn’t even have gay sex like they do nowadays. No butt stuff. They would just put it between each other’s thighs. It’s called “intercrural sex”. This isn’t related to your game or anything I just went down a Wikipedia hole last night.
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AAAAAA fuck fuck fufuck aaaaa GODddd FUCK I SLICED MY FUuuuck- my fUCKing finger!!! On the STUPID new trap I— fuck get me a band aid aghHh shit that. That really stings. Fuck. Man. Ughh.
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Hello little Robby, you must REALLY have to peepee after drinking all that soda. But it looks like you once again left out ALL your Legos. and this time mommy's not here to pick them up. Will you risk getting an owie on your way to the potty, or will you have another "Accident"
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Do you like this? No, this isn't the trap, this is just a cool thing I made idk. Do you like it though?
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If you ever want to see your wife and daughter again, you must pass my “wire me 10000 dollars” trap.
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Can we please not talk about politics in the See-Saw Trap room? I’m trying to just have a nice game between two lawyers who let a hit and run driver walk free. Thank you.
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Amanda can you please stop posting The Office reaction gifs in the apprentice group chat every time Hoffman says something. You’re really making things unnecessarily hostile.
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Before you is a bomb. I, uh. I actually didn’t notice that when I was putting you in there earlier. You might want to take care of that before we start.
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Ok so uh. You’re looking for a key but my apprentice mixed you up with a different subject soo he also injected you with a deadly poison. Just focus on getting that key we’re sending someone down with a spare antidote . He’ll meet you outside in like fifteen. Sorry about this.
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Hello Janet. You don’t know who I am, but I know who you are: a filthy pirate. You expressly agreed to delete the Pokémon Yellow ROM from your home computer after 24 hours, and yet you greedily decided to take from Nintendo what wasn’t yours to keep.
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You’ve gambled away your life. Now I’m asking you to take a risk on love.
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Hello Jennifer. If this isn’t Jennifer please disregard and move on to the next cassette tape.
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You call yourselves “shareholders”, and yet all your decisions are about increasing your own personal wealth at the expense of those who directly contribute to production. Perhaps they should call you “selfish hoarders” instead? Before you is a McDonalds deep fryer.
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Hello Tobby. uhh why did you cut me in line? This morning? At Jamba Juice? Did you somehow MISS THE GUY WITH THE FUCKING BOWTIE AND SWIRLY CHEEKS WAITING IN LINE?. I'm not gonna kill you, but I'm pissed off! I'm ruining your weekend by keeping you in here until Monday fuck you
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You call yourself a wife guy but do you have what it takes to be a life guy? The key to this room has been surgically implanted in your spouses bazongas.
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(seeing a victim get out of a trap incorrectly) hey stop that come on man.
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Honestly, I kind of overreacted in putting you in this trap. Like what you didn’t isn’t that bad when I think about it now, I think I was just in a bad mood because I hadn’t had a cool glass of water all day. Why don’t you just break like, two or three fingers and we’ll call it?.
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LMAO that was me in the middle of the room, how did you not even notice? i was hella breathing and making noises the whole time.
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Congratulations on escaping the needles box. For your next game I— oh whoa are you like ok. Do you need a minute? Are you sure? I uh I can get you like uh a glass of water or something.
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In honor of Pride Month I have ONLY been testing members of the LGBTQ+ community on their will to live, because representation MATTERS. No more group traps though, they all keep arguing too much and it was stressing me out.
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I regret going on vacation. I left Hoffman with TWO people to be tested. EVERYTHING was setup for him all he has to do was push a button to start their tests, but he forgot because he's been "getting into vtubers" and the two people just starved to death in their trap😑😠.
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Hello Madison. Every month, you receive in the mail a sheet of Arby’s coupons, which you leave in your car, only to let them all expire before you use them. What are you so afraid of? Well today you have the opportunity to redeem yourself, unlike the 3-for-1 offers you wasted. .
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Hoffman lost the keys for ALL the fucking doors in this warehouse, there are like 10 trap rooms in this place but like the exit is right there. This game is running on the honor system - please at least get to the obstacle course near the end, Amanda worked really hard on it.
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Hello. Do you know what “kokoro” means? It means heart. heartfelt. Tell me, Stephen, do you know what MY “kokoro wish” is?.
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Ok so you kind of soft locked the game here, I thought you’d be able to clear the Leg Breaker Trap no problem but I didn’t really think about how the Stairway Trap is kind of impossible if you didn’t… I really got to play test things.
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