jun gonzales
@jgonzalesjr
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Joined April 2011
Going to Arizona in 2 weeks. Better bring my passport in case I accidentally get a tan. http://t.co/KmGjsFG2nm
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http://t.co/jxaHBcvkHB
http://t.co/JVa0yQuo3Z will not get a cent of my money until they can tell me which apes I came from.
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http://t.co/19xTxzJSDj A disgruntled bubble wrap factory worker could shoot 20 men and no one would turn their heads.
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http://t.co/8rVnUsvYcv It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you
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http://t.co/ZST1JiRJuZ No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby.
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http://t.co/cUtVTVWxon I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman.
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Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass. http://t.co/Ysuo0UyPCF
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http://t.co/Xatj5mxc My out-of-office voicemail greeting is just a solid three minutes of dry heaving.
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http://t.co/HqmhzC4P I sealed a fart in a jar for my wife to open because I know how to romance a lady.
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Oh, I just love it when people are being sarcastic. That's just really great. Thanks a lot. http://t.co/eVxTaR3h
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I'm not saying you're fat, but you should consider having CPR instructions tattooed on your chest. http://t.co/r8nZbC1a
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Really? "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?" Um...may I introduce you to pizza? http://t.co/ZRXQL3ls
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