Joseph Fahmy
@jfahmy
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If oil goes any lower, Exxon Mobil might have to layoff some members of Congress.
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PRO TIP: If a girl in a hot bikini DMs you about crypto, ignore him.
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Amazon is one of the few companies that actually listen to their shareholders. Mainly through Alexa, but still.
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BREAKING: FEDERAL RESERVE TO START BUYING 2 MILLION iPHONES PER MONTH $AAPL
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I'm starting a cannabis infused Chinese electric car company that can map your genetic code on the blockchain. Valuation is already $172B.
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95% of Twitter traders never lose money. The edit button would make that number 100%.
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Wow! I didn't expect this tweet to blow up the way it did. While you are here, here's the link to my new Mix Tape and my GoFundMe account. Just kidding, enjoy your day :)
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Twitter turns 13 today. Don't worry, when I was 13, I didn't make any money either.
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It sucks that I lost some bitcoin in that scam yesterday, but I'm working with a Nigerian prince over email to help get it back.
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Seeing some people mad at Barstool's valuation. Instead of being a jealous hater, it should give you inspiration to possibly start a business (no matter how crazy your idea is). I think it's great. It's the American dream and I'm happy for those guys. Don't hate, emulate.
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Tomorrow is the most important economic report of our lifetime & possibly the most important day of your life. It's bigger than your wedding day & more important than any of your ungrateful kids being born. It will be emotional as dropping off your mother-in-law at the airport.
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Uber and WeWork should just merge and set money on fire together.
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Bezos: "Alexa, send nudes to my secret admirer."
Alexa: "Got it, sending nudes to the National Enquirer."
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Six Best Doctors in the World:
1) Sunlight
2) Rest
3) Exercise
4) Diet
5) Self Confidence
6) Great Friends
Maintain them consistently and you'll enjoy a healthy life. Have a great weekend everyone!
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U2 - Where the Streets Have No Name (from opening night at the Sphere)
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Sentiment seems like it is getting VERY negative. That Ackman interview didn't help. I wonder if we'll look back and call it the Ackman Whiny Bitch Bottom™. And no, I'm not going to take that back. What he did today was completely irresponsible and he cried too much.
#facts
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When a woman wearing a bikini DMs you about cryptocurrency, avoid him!
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Powell: We're prepared to raise rates more if needed.
The market:
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I just opened a nice bottle of 2009 Cherry NyQuil. I'm gonna let it breathe for a bit.
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Elizabeth Warren says an economic crash is coming but she knows how to stop it.
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When a stock goes up, many become short-term traders and lock in the profits.
When a stock goes down, many become long-term investors and start listening to conference calls.
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A woman's "be ready in 5 minutes" and a man's "be home in 5 minutes" are about the same.
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I'm starting an electric ride sharing cloud company that can map your genetic code on the blockchain and accept bitcoin for our plant-based meat products with no exposure to China. Current valuation: $12 trillion. DM me for details.
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Have you ever noticed that a woman's "be ready in 5 minutes" and a man's "be home in 5 minutes" are about the same? :)
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80% of trading is psychological. The other 30% is understanding math.
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My favorite video every week! 💪❤
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Even if you're fully vaccinated, the CDC strongly warns against shorting the S&P 500.
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Bull markets can save you from bad mistakes. You can get poor entries, chase extended stocks, not cut losses, and the market usually saves you because it's very strong and forgiving. In corrective markets, it's the exact opposite. You usually get punished for being undisciplined.
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Soros Fund Management 13F Filing shows that last quarter Soros increased his investments in Citigroup, JP Morgan, and Antifa.
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@DanBilzerian
"Everyone believes in freedom of speech as long as you're saying what they want to hear." -
@billburr
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U2 - Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses (opening night at the Sphere)
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Tomorrow is the most important earnings report of our lifetime and possibly the biggest day of your life. It's bigger than your wedding day, more important than any of your ungrateful kids being born, and it will be as emotional as dropping your mother-in-law off at the airport.
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Back in January, I set a goal to lose 20 pounds this year. Only 30 more to go! 💪💪🤣🤣
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Just got devastating news that my cousin passed tonight. He leaves 3 young children. I'm absolutely in shock. Needless to say, I will not be running my webinar this weekend & will be off social media for a bit. Thank you in advance for your thoughts, prayers & understanding. 🙏❤
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This is an AWESOME interview with Druckenmiller. For those who don't know, he's one of the best hedge fund managers ever. So much genius in this conversation. I've already watched it a few times and took notes. Thank you
@Zeninthemarkets
for sharing it. 🙏
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We need to cancel "Cancel Culture." You literally can't say anything anymore without people getting offended. It's creating an entire generation of weak minded individuals.
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You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat a waiter/waitress.
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Who knew that long McDonald's and short Weight Watchers would make such a great pair trade?
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Two things I never argue with: The stock market and women. Why? Because they're both smarter than me and they're both always right.
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Seeing a lot of "I told you so's" today. Don't be that person. No one likes a douchebag.
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Tom Lee saw his shadow this morning, which means 6 more weeks of Bull Market.
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Text from married friend in NYC: "My bed hasn't moved like that in years."
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Overheard this guy at the grocery store say he doesn't want to wear a mask because it looks stupid. Meanwhile, he's wearing Crocs, cargo shorts, and black socks.
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This is a normal pullback during a seasonally weak time. Don't be a drama queen. If you can't deal with a little volatility in your portfolio, blame your parents for raising a wimp.
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Even if you're fully vaccinated, the CDC strongly warns against shorting the S&P 500.
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Four keys to a successful marriage:
1) Find someone you can laugh with.
2) Find someone who can cook.
3) Find someone you have great sex with.
4) Make sure those three people NEVER run into each other.
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BREAKING: FEDERAL RESERVE ANNOUNCES IT WILL BEGIN iPHONE PURCHASES AT A PACE OF 1 MILLION iPHONES PER MONTH
$AAPL Apple Cuts iPhone 14 Plus Production Less Than Two Weeks After Debut - THe Information
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Good news: Today's decline was on light volume
Bad news: You can still lose money on light volume
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If you did a shot of vodka every time financial television said "AMC" today, you would've died 6 hours ago.
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My Mom has a regular podcast that lasts about 10 to 15 minutes. The only problem is you need the password to my voicemail to listen to it.
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You can't teach someone how to be patient, you can't teach conviction, you can't teach avoiding FOMO, and you can't teach them how to stop living in fear. If you want to improve on these skills, you have to be self-aware and be willing to work on them on your own.
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Don't chase extended stocks. No matter what your timeframe, get strong entry points and then decide what to do based on your strategy. Try to avoid FOMO. FOMO is for the weak. Don't be weak.
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Girl at the bar: All guys are the same.
Me: Who told you to try them all? 😂🤣
*it was worth the slap
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They should call them Apple Juice™
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Almost everyone I talk to: The market has gone straight up for 10-years and this will end badly any day now.
Reality: We've had 3 bear markets during the past 10-years and the major averages are barely up over the past 13-21 months.
$SPY $QQQ $IWM $DIA
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New highs:
- Nasdaq Composite
- S&P 500
- The number of people who think they're God's gift to trading
Friendly reminder, it's a strong market and we're not that smart. Stay humble.
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This is why you don't put a bald guy on the cover of a newspaper.
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Friendly reminder: It's a strong market and we're not that smart. Stay humble.
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Today's CPI report doesn't matter. The Fed already decided to cut rates in May, and will justify it in anyway possible. Today's number is just an excuse for an extended market to take profits.
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80% of trading is psychology. The other 30% is being good at math.
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Fed Chair Powell will not signal tapering at the Jackson Hole Symposium. It's a virtual meeting. He won't even be wearing pants. There's a rule in the Fed Handbook: no pants = no taper
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Hear me out...an app for couples where a third person doesn't go on the date but just decides on where they go to eat.
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Oil jumps 15% and gas goes up $1.
Oil drops 15% and gas drops one penny.
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I post this passage every once in a while because people constantly ask me about the nuances of trading. I can't say this enough: There is no right or wrong answer, and stop thinking anyone has all the answers. Just learn to make decisions and find a style that works for you.
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I just read that every piece of bacon you eat takes 7 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should've died in 1829.
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Be happy when other people are doing well and encourage their success. Don't make this platform all about you. If you're doing well, people will notice. When you support others, it shows that you're not threatened by them because you have confidence in yourself.
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I think Taco Bell would make just as much money if they were only open from 1AM to 4AM.
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PPI doesn't matter
CPI doesn't matter
The Fed's already made up their minds and there's something bigger going on in the market right now.
And yes, I know I'm an idiot, so I'll save you the time for commenting on how dumb I am. 😉😂
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Quick thoughts on $NVDA
1) This is NOT investment advice. Full disclosure: I've been in the stock for a while and have taken some profits along the way up.
2) I think they beat estimates and guide higher.
3) It might be a "sell the news" event because it ran nicely ahead of
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The S&P 500 is JUST moving out of a two-year consolidation and the Nasdaq Comp is STILL below its Nov 2021 highs, and many people are calling this a bubble???
1) A bubble is any asset class that goes up that you don't own.
2) If you're frustrated because you're not participating,
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Growth Stock Trader Resolutions
1) Focus on the best stocks
2) Take profits into strength
3) Stop living in fear, avoid FOMO
4) Accept losses
5) Stop stressing over every tick
6) Reduce emotions, stop being a little bitch
7) Stop listening to others
8) Less social media, less
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Now that CPI is over, what's the next bullshit people are going to stress over? Remember, the news is designed to scare you, to keep you tuned in so they can sell ads. Learn to shut out that noise and not be stressed about whatever next piece of bullshit they're hyping up.
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This market will continue to punish the impatient and undisciplined. Strong markets forgive your mistakes (poor entries, not cutting losses, etc.). Corrective markets are unforgiving and require higher levels of discipline.
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Daylight Savings is this Sunday. If the stock market continues like this, daylight will be the only savings people will have left.
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I’m not a fan of publicly calling someone out for a bad call on a stock or the market because 1) We ALL make bad calls (myself included) 2) Karma’s a bitch 3) You never look good trying to make someone else look bad.
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If you struggled in the market this week, don't beat yourself up. Go to the liquor store instead.
#FridayInspiration
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Funny how the media continues to call retail investors "dumb money." Meanwhile
Softbank lost $23B last quarter
Tiger Global -50% YTD
Cathie Wood -47% YTD
Maybe the media should stop putting money managers on pedestals and individuals should start believing in themselves more? 🤷♂️
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Update: I've now lost 25 pounds in 12 weeks. Anyone can do it. Diet, exercise, some intermittent fasting, tons of water. We all know what to do, it just takes the discipline and consistency to do it! If this makes ONE person go out for a walk today, then mission accomplished 💪💪
This picture is from a TV interview I did last week. Proud to say I've lost 15 pounds in the past 6 weeks. Still have a ways to go to reach my goal, but very happy with my progress. Already noticing a big difference in my energy levels. 💪💪🙏🙏
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If the 21-day doesn't provide support, use the 50-day. If that doesn't work, use the 100-day, then the 150-day, then the 200-day. Below that, it doesn't matter because you'll start going to shareholder meetings.
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I joined this new gym 3 months ago and I've seen no results. Tomorrow, I'm going there in person to see what the heck is going on.
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When I say there's still too much complacency in the market, make sure to interpret it as personal attack on you and you only. It clearly means I hate you, your entire family, your dumb face, and the only goal of my tweets is to make you unhappy.
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This picture is from a TV interview I did last week. Proud to say I've lost 15 pounds in the past 6 weeks. Still have a ways to go to reach my goal, but very happy with my progress. Already noticing a big difference in my energy levels. 💪💪🙏🙏
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It's amazing how many people hate Tom Brady. I admire success and dominance in any field (Michael Jordan, Paul Tudor Jones, Tiger Woods, etc.). Instead of hating, learn from people who have shown consistent greatness at a high level and try to mimic what you can.
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