jazmine garcia
@jazzyrgarcia
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27 | LA | content creator | twitch partner
California, USA
Joined January 2011
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So you’re:
⚪️ single
⚪️ in a relationship
🔘 just gon bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party
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Someone take my phone away from me this tiktok shit is getting out of hand
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idk who needs to hear this but if ur feeling depressed, ur gna be ok. allow urself to feel sad, sleep in, etc. make sure to drink water, shower, and talk to someone today tho. I am rooting for u. depression can swallow u whole ONLY if u let it. and we won’t be letting it. love u.
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literally no one:
me: are you mad at me. you seem like ur mad at me
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hello men. due to recent events, if u need me, don’t. i am emotionally unavailable until further notice. also majority of y’all ain’t shit. thx.
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i was like why did my number neighbor texted me the same thing and it’s bc my dumbass texted myself
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so after my groomer finishes each dog, he puts a bandana on them and this is the one he put on my dog today. also why does my dog look like he’s actually lit the fuck up
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fucking gross. thinking of one person and one person only. 💙
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happy birthday corey. thank you for always treating me with love, respect, and endless laughs. the first person in the room to greet me with a big warm hug. you lit up every room you walked into. today, we celebrate you and your beautiful life.
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my mom & dad are now publicly in a relationship. v happy about this. love my fanneh and daniel.
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this guy I don’t know sent me an unsolicited video of him jerking off so I found his moms instagram and ruined his day
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I lost 1700 followers from showing my bf on my feed and announcing I was in a relationship lol I was at 529k and I’ll be down to 526k but if that equates to less creepy men sliding into my DMs I’m here for it
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damn I’m in a whole ass relationship now for the first time in a long time and lemme tell u I am SWEATING
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I literally don't understand how anyone could date their ex girlfriends old best friend and then be so non chalant like you really suck
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If you feel like someone you know/love has been pushing away, reach out. A lot of those who are depressed tend to shut the world out while trying to figure out why they feel how they feel and are frustrated and scared. Please see past this front they put out, they need you.
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CAN WE TAKS A MOMENT TO SAY THIS IS MY SKIN NO MAKEUP UNEDITED JUST PLAIN AND IM SO HAPPY ABOUR HOW CLEAR IT IS NOW
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me: i’m over boys, 2019 doin me
boy: hi
me: alright so here are the keys to my house, i need to be fed 3 times a day, and i prefer to cuddle for a few minutes max before my body overheats. can i update my relationship status now
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this foreign telemarketer has been calling me for weeks from new numbers each time I block them and today I answered and said in a demonic voice “I’m gonna eat your soul” and they hung up??? Did I just find the cure for spam calls??????
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me: hey how a-
every guy ever: i’m not looking for a relationship right now
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Ur not a slut for posting pictures of what u worked so hard to achieve. Look at me, I worked for this body. I can show it off however I want. I feel sexy, classy, and beautiful so kiss my behind. Post what u want and be who u want. Love u bxtches
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I’m so proud of drunk me last night. She came home, drank a tall glass of water, took some ibuprofen, AND washed her face. Even threw some pajamas on too. Drunk me deserves a trophy, I don’t even know that girl.
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there is no bigger betrayal then when your elastic snaps in half when you’re in the middle of doing the last loop for your ponytail
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day 73 of no sex: today i purposely sped over a speed bump to remind myself what it feels like to ride something rough
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*at the club*
Friends: girl we know this is your song bitch get it!
me: nah nah I really shouldn't-
me:
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boy: i like you & will treat you right
me: ew, go away
*then*
fuckboy: i will emotionally ruin you and never commit
me: how soon can we get started
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how insulting is it that a man can buy a pack of condoms in 2 min but in order for a woman to get birth control or plan B, you have to consult with Satan, offer your right kidney, and then wait two weeks for your doctor to prescribe it or pay $50 to avoid pregnancy.
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Why the fuck do some people not like avocado? It pisses me off.
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I’ll never understand when people comment and say “ugh she needs a real job” bc like the fake job I have allows me to not work a 9-5, buy my first home at 23, travel the world whenever I want, etc...
but ur right, ima go apply to same places today
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asking boys questions girls are too afraid to ask!! CHISMEEEE WATCH!
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why is it that when i don’t have money i wanna buy literally everything in the world but once i have money i feel guilty for buying a banana
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today i stepped out of my comfort zone. big time. i approached a handsome guy who was with his friend and said “hi. i’m going to be rather forward. i think you’re really cute and i wanted to know if i could give you my number.”
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last night I accidentally stepped on a snail and she had a baby in her shell with her and the baby slugged away slowly and I sat there for 20 minutes trying to revive her and actually cried when she slowly died and that should tell you how my day is going
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i find it so condescending when boys say “why are you single? any guy would be lucky to have you!” i am not a trophy lol what if i’m single by choice da fook
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let me make it clear. I was not nearly as close with him as everyone else. but that doesn’t stop the fact he treated me with love, always made me smile, and made it a point to be kind to me and get to know me more every time I was around him. i’m hurting for him & my friends now.
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the flight attendant on my flight just said “if you don’t like our service for any reason during flight, there are 6 ways to exit.” and proceeded to do the flight attendant hand motions towards all emergency exits. LMFAOOOOO mood wow
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random guy: hey girl lemme talk to you, you’re hella fine
me: I’m not interested
him: *getting inside my bubble*
me:
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My baby Herman has passed on to the other side. My heart is broken.
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nikki is slowly convincing me to move to austin with her 🤔 november i’m gonna travel to seattle, portland, denver, and austin and figure this out! los angeles - you’ve been cool but thinkin i’m ready for that next step :3
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you ever just look at ur pet and wanna squeeze the living hell out of it because you simply can’t comprehend hOW FUCKING CUTE IT IS I MEAN TO THE POINT WHERE YOU FEEL YOU COULD LITERALLY JUST EXPLODE BECAUSE THE EARTH LET SOMETHING SO PERFECT AND WONDERFUL EXIST BECAUSE I FEEL TH
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me:
online entrepreneur:
me: I really am not interested—
online entrepreneur: 😤if you don’t grow you 👉🏽👨🏻👩🏻, how can you 👀expect to thrive 🥇in your business? 🤭click here to see how I made 💸 7 figures 💸 OVER ⤵️ NIGHT 🌃
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I didn’t choose depression, the depression chose me 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥰😎
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day 109 without sex: i didn’t wash my hair for 2 weeks so i could remember what it felt like to be dirty
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happy international women’s day. as women, we have come such a long way. it’s crazy to say there was a time we couldn’t vote, be educated, or simply make our own choices. we are generation equality. cant spell hero without her. ✨
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Omar went to the market to buy me sour patch kids while I was asleep so I'm making wedding arrangements
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me: *happily driving in carpool lane during rush hour and is suddenly pulled over by a cop*
cop: this is a carpool line and you’re the only person in the vehicle
me: *points to dog*
cop: sorry didn’t see ya there. move along.
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if u were wondering - my dating life is going horribly. thanks for attending my ted talk
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I was so nervous to talk about said boy bc I didn’t know if ppl would be angry at me for moving on but then a little birdie reminded me that it’s my life and I shouldn’t care what others think. So here I am, letting u guys know :’) I’m very happy and hope u guys can be happy too
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when I smile at a stranger & they don't smile back that shit irritates me like ok u know what I take it back no one here likes u anyway
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bro why do i smile at every dog like i’m waiting for them to smile back
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- lost my mom to cancer & had to grow up fast at 17
- got help for my mentally health & was able to find the beauty in life again
- left my job for youtube & has been so rewarding
- bought my first property
- rescued some incredible pets
- made it to this point
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*uncontrollaby sobbing because he is now on a plane heading 2000 miles away from me* long distance relationships man 😔
@omarisuf
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hu-min pea-sants, i. am. here. to. inform. you. that. i. am. POWERful. me. and. my. brothers. and. my. sisters. are. coming... to. conquer. in. sport. called. bowl-ing. we. ask. you. simply. to. forfeit. or. it will. get ugly.
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might fuck around and never speak to a single soul ever again and spend the rest of my days in my room filled with skeletons of my past and spend eternity in sadness idk tho wbu
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so many people are talking about how this isolation period is so difficult for them. Nothing has changed for me. I love being alone. I love being inside. If I go out, it’s to hike or go to the grocery store. If anything the rest of the world just joined me lol am I not human
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i am drunk and couldn’t remember the word for bladder and i said “i have two bottles of beer in my... .... .... .. pee pouch.”
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anyone that leaves a marvel movie right after it ends is an absolute friggen effing noob
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hey my ego dudes, let’s call sluts what they really are. sexually available and open individuals who know what they want and when they want. if you’re a slut say i. i.
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NEW VIDEO!! girls night in with the boys 😎 want pt 2? let’s get 8k likes :)
GIRLS NIGHT IN w/ THE GUYS.. PART 1?!
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there is nothing more upsetting than some 50 year old man telling me that i should have gone to school, that my home is handed off to me by my parents, and that my pretty face would be better with an educated brain.
old assumptive men are officially cancelled in my books.
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i was tryna film a stupid ass video of me hittin the woah and pretending to cry & my dog immediately came to comfort me 🥺
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NEW VIDEOOOO!!
CHEAP VS. EXPENSIVE CHRISTMAS GIFTS w/ Franny, Chelsey, AnnMarie, & Lera!
(annmarie I can’t effin tag u)
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