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shitposter emeritus Profile
shitposter emeritus

@jazzghost_pm

Followers
4,361
Following
527
Media
732
Statuses
10,761

clothes horse. musician. formerly funny

Minneapolis, MN
Joined October 2019
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 months
Forget brat summer, we're doing Porco Rosso summer
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 months
Finding out that I'm extremely attractive to many gay men felt like discovering a fortune in confederate dollars or Blockbuster rewards points
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
17 days
Turns out it's gout. 17th century nobleman-ass disease. Embarrassing
@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
19 days
Nothing illustrates the ravages of old age quite like "sprained my ankle in my sleep"
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 months
I am flattered and I can do absolutely nothing with this information
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 years
🫡🫡🫡
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
12 days
This is, with no due respect, a skill issue
@SpiritofPines
Pine Baron
12 days
I really don’t think woman understand that as a regular straight male the only people in your entire life that are nice to you outside of your immediate family are religious missionaries and timeshare salesmen.
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
20 days
Why does it look like I'm in a Jason Bourne film
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
6 months
Found the asshole who's been making me feel miserable
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 months
In case you need a way to remember
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@NWSTwinCities
NWS Twin Cities
4 months
A tornado watch has been issued for parts of Minnesota until 8 PM CDT
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 months
@maxdubler Free diet cokes, at least 😂
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 months
Wow this kinda blew up, I'd like to thank @dieworkwear for teaching me everything I know
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 years
Unsettled having gained the knowledge that Willem Dafoe is from APPLETON, WISCONSIN.
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 months
Whether Walz is or isn't the VP pick, I can assure you that Minnesotans are going to be weird about it online tomorrow. It's the one thing we do better than anywhere else
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 months
My impact
@coeurdenoel
👻🎃Noelsferatu🧛‍♂️🖤
3 months
porco rosso summer is here to stay🐷😎🏖️
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 months
@pcr954 Many such cases
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
30 days
@confusionm8trix Incredible. God I miss Norm
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
5 months
If you miss Lake Chipotle, let me introduce you to Northeast's hottest waterfront locale - Lake Masu
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
8 days
I think it's actually quite understandable to enjoy having a private 2 ton mobile living room. It's just has a completely ruinous effect on society.
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 years
Just joined the DSA let's goooooooo
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
8 months
I never tire of looking at this taco bell. it brings me peace
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
6 months
The suburbs are so unserious
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 years
@webster struck from the record but the jury isn't un-hearing that one
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
9 months
I see "Minnesota Transplant Discourse" is making the rounds again so, as a transplant, I offer the following. - It is harder making friends as an adult - If you're waiting to be invited, you'll be waiting a long time. That's just how it works here. You have to insert yourself. 1/
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 years
I honestly didn't realize that MPS teachers are fighting for only a *2% raise* at this point, good lord we live in a sick society
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
5 months
Wisconsin pops off in the summer. Windows XP desktop wallpaper ass landscape
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 months
While I appreciate the concern from my bank's fraud department, that *was* actually me trying to buy an expensive British-made duffle coat at 1am
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 months
After 4 years, Makenna and I have decided to end our relationship. She made this meme to help illustrate. When we first met here on Twitter (of all places) in early 2020, the world was a different place and we were different people. We finally met in person *a week* before
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@TrevorWoggon
Mr. Goose
5 years
damn twitter really is a dating site
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
25 days
A year of progress - have done a lot of work getting the "woof" out of my sound. Now if I could just get my tongue to relax a bit more...
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 years
Some personal news: I've moved to a new apartment This is my "yell at the mayor" balcony
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 months
There's only one movie to cap off this week
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 months
Did half an hour of exercise this morning and it brings me absolutely no pleasure to report that it was a good idea and I feel good
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
1 month
I do need a haircut
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
1 month
save me Kramarczuk's bratwurst Kramarczuk's bratwurst save me
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 months
@dieworkwear Oh also check out @DavidLaneDesign for more big boy menswear, he's a great inspiration as well
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 years
update: punch pizza in NE re-opened and as I walked ONE block home carrying the box, TWO people stopped me asking "omg is punch open" It's like living in a god damn animal crossing town
@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 years
since living in northeast for a whole 5 days I think I've had more friendly conversations with strangers in my building, grocery store, etc. than did my entire 3 years in Uptown. Which is fine if you like that sort of thing. I do, I think? I'm just very much not used to it.
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
6 months
We're going crazy with the linen this summer
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 years
Typical complaining about the blizzard from everyone. Folks, the only way to stop the snow is to get out there and VOTE
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 months
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 months
It's scholarship season yet again, so here's a clip of me honkin' out some Mozart.
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 years
"surely everyone has forgotten my transgressions by now"
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 months
Waiting for it to drop below 70 degrees so I can wear my little fall outfits
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
5 months
While I can only spend about 3 days at my parents house in the country before I'm bored to tears, it's very nice to wake up and eat a brat on the patio at 9am and listen to the birds. No thoughts, head empty
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 months
*flashes "grew up rural" credentials* it's interesting because on the one hand, people living out in the sticks do tend to have a stronger connection with nature They also tend to see it as their right to do whatever they see fit with it.
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 years
since living in northeast for a whole 5 days I think I've had more friendly conversations with strangers in my building, grocery store, etc. than did my entire 3 years in Uptown. Which is fine if you like that sort of thing. I do, I think? I'm just very much not used to it.
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
5 months
Camping in a 1968 Airstream this week and had to dress appropriately
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
1 month
If the seemingly bespoke wool suit I just bought for $100 on eBay that matches my measurements almost exactly ends up working, I will have pulled off the heist of the century
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 years
@misselizabetka basses aren't punished enough, make us jump TWO octaves
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
9 months
Put another way, Minnesotans generally like meeting new people and making friends like any other human being, they just often aren't very good at it and don't know any other way to be. 4/
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 months
@maxdubler This is just a simple linen suit from Cubavera, but I have a few nicer ones from @ProperCloth , who I enthusiastically endorse
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 years
My conservative boomer dad, who has extolled the virtues of hard work my entire life, told me yesterday over breakfast that he didn't think working hard was enough anymore and that the deck is stacked against normal people. I think the pandemic has done more than we yet realize
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 years
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 years
since my bike was stolen I'd like to announce that I've decided to develop reactionary "tough on crime" political views
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 years
I miss drinking at the Mort's back bar because it feels like drinking on the Titanic
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
20 days
If anyone has a home like this they don't want to live in, I am willing to take it of your hands for a modest fee
@zachware
Zach Ware
21 days
The reason we don't build more of these isn't because of zoning, it's because nobody actually wants to live in them. You quickly discover that you spend your life on stairs. The living space on the second floor means carrying *everything* up stairs every time you come home.
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 years
folks,,,
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 years
I haven't seen my GF in 7 months but she's going to be here tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
9 months
can everyone promise not to get mad at me if I say something? ok I love this misty 40 degree weather
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 years
If I didn't want people protesting outside my home, I would simply not be a bad mayor
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 months
Hello and good morning to my new followers, I hope you enjoy your parasocial relationship with me
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 months
lil goose big goose
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@lizmaebrooks
gnarly rae jepsen 🕸️🦇👻🎃
4 months
lil gnarly big gnarly
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
26 days
Menswear brand; yeah we carry big and tall sizes :) the big and tall sizes:
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
1 year
@boss_on_here looks fine to me boss
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 months
As a thunderstorm enjoyer, this has been a great year for me
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
1 year
Downtown Chicago makes Downtown Minneapolis seem comically provincial. It's a bigger city, obviously, just kind of wild seeing tons of people walking around and no cop cars parked on the sidewalk
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
9 months
As a counterpoint to Minnesotan's reluctance to invite outsiders, they are usually too passive to combat someone simply inviting themselves along. People from work going to a happy hour and didn't invite you? Show up anyway. It's a public space! It's a free country! 2/
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
1 year
If I had one piece of advice to give to folks new to living in the Midwest in summer it's "You will always feel like you're missing out on something"
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
7 months
Had to pull out the cooler colors for the weather today
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
6 months
I'm out! All the big bad stuff ruled out for now The staff at @ParkNicollet Methodist ER are absolute pros, I'm very thankful for them
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 years
dropping out of college in 2013 and entering a 2-year depressive episode sucked and I still carry the weight of that with me. I am now in the final 2 weeks of finishing my degree and those bad memories are coming back. I just need to keep inching ahead
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 months
I did forget how demoralizing dating apps are for men, maybe I should just try Twitter again - wouldn't that be crazy hahahaha (beautiful women DM me please)
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 months
like, who is this guy? what happened to him? what are those shorts?
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 years
It costs $500 to file to run for mayor in Minneapolis. I have $600. Much to think about
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 years
guy ahead of me at Culver's got #68 I got #70 I HAVE BEEN UNJUSTLY DENIED
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
10 days
After a 3 hour morning rehearsal, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 years
Come on down to Open Streets Lyndale, where you can see furries doing a martial arts demonstration across from a jazz quartet Minneapolis stay winning
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 years
all the NIMBYs are going out of town to their cabins, time to build a bunch of affordable housing while they're gone
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
9 months
Sometimes this works, sometimes this doesn't work, much like any method of making friends. I don't believe Minnesotans are inherently colder or meaner than anywhere else, but their social conditioning growing up primes them to be insular for whatever reason 3/
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
9 days
While the relationships were all ultimately failures, this is how I got several women into Steely Dan
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 years
after MANY applications, I will be adopting Sandy tomorrow 🥳
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 years
looks like he got adopted 😭 but I applied for some more lil buddies! so we'll see
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
1 year
@dieworkwear I insisted on wearing a little 3 piece suit to my 1st grade school picture day. My mom tried to talk me out of it but I would not be reasoned with
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 years
I love fall but the end of August always makes me sad, if that makes any sense? Like I become very aware of the passage of time 😓
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 years
Allow Summer Trev to bless your timeline. Everything is going to be ok
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 months
I have done some embarrassing things in my life but I can at least rest easy knowing I've never started a uWu smol bean Go-Fund-Me for my floundering small business with multiple locations
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
11 months
The worst tweet bracket closed too soon
@Eve_Barlow
Eve Barlow
11 months
So long Gen Z. From now on I call you Gen H. Generation Hamas.
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
7 months
Happy Opening Day to both my friends (baseball enjoyers) and enemies (Dodgers fans)
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
1 month
friday night. 4 hop waters deep. staring at the bathroom mirror
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 years
from a midwest perspective, I think if widespread return-to-the-office doesn't happen before snow hits the ground, it's all over. give up.
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 months
why would you pit beautiful women against each other like this
@TodayInSportsCo
TodayInSports
2 months
Tough choice. Pick one. 🍕
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
1 year
any other freaks out there find an MRI machine relaxing? Everyone talks about claustrophobia and I'm like ohhhh noooo please don't put me in the tube with the nice breeze and the cool robot sounds
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 months
Going through a breakup right at the beginning of September? I fear the transitional and reflective nature of autumn will only make me more powerful
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 years
Anyone gonna be at The Sinkhole tonight?
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
2 years
Love 2 file copyright disputes
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
5 months
Great time at the Padres game today! (Do not look at the score)
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
3 years
San Diegan gf is out practicing walking on icy surfaces to prepare for the snow storm
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@jazzghost_pm
shitposter emeritus
4 years
good morning Twitter I'm back. We still don't know who the president is but my gf is here and we visited my parents and held these chickens so that's been nice
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