jaygon targaryen lll 🐉
@jay_forpay
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highly-caffeinated and still tired. not gay; I just walk fast. RIP Hannah Montana. emotionally unavailable and unstable. 💀 he/him
Nashville, TN
Joined June 2011
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West Virginians be like “Country Roads, take me home...”
The roads in question:
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Cults in Alabama:
-Alabama fans
-People from Birmingham
-Church of the Highlands Members
-Auburn Fans
-Kendra Scott girls
-The actual KKK
-People from Huntsville
-Football moms
-Alabama fans that didn’t attend college so they’re just fans by default
-Craft Beer Drinkers
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Many things change in college (including my major), but thankful
@tacobell
was there through it all. 🌮 🌯
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Kelsey: “So, do we want to talk about who said I was emotionally unstable.”
Me on my couch at home:
#BachelorNation
#Bachelor
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LOL. Men really come at women for being unoriginal by going as cats/bunnies for Halloween as if they’re not going as lumberjacks and Clark Kent. Y’all are boring. I said what I said.
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Me singing both parts of Gotta Go My Own Way from High School Musical
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With it being recruitment season for many Greek Organizations around the US, I just want to remind all Greeks that your charter is not more important than a human life. This year, please manage risk effectively and be vigilant in responding to potentially dangerous situations.
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Tomorrow is not a promise, please say I love you to those you care about.
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You didn’t get hit on by a BLACK man at the bar. You got hit on by a MAN. The ASIAN kid wasn’t too loud in public. The KID was too loud. A MEXICAN lady didn’t cut you off in traffic. A LADY cut you off. Stop using demographic adjectives when they are not necessary to the story.
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This is disgusting. Somebody is using my pictures to catfish people on
@Tinder
. Like, I feel so hurt and violated that someone would use pictures of me before I lost 40 pounds. I got skinny for a reason and it was not for people to use old pictures of me.
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I just drove through UAH’s campus and asked these dudes if they went to UAH. One said “Good luck finding a parking spot” the other passed out because he had no social skills. I said dang you really do go to UAH.
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Oh she ate, tore, slayed, chewed, served, snapped, popped off, devoured, bodied, and all those other words.
#scarlet
is way too good. Doja I never doubted you for a second.
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I am a:
⚪️ man
⚪️ woman
🔘 UAH student
Seeking:
⚪️ men
⚪️ women
🔘 unlimited refills at WoW
I am a:
⚪️ man
⚪️ woman
🔘 West Virginia University student
Seeking:
⚪️ man
⚪️ woman
🔘 a ticket to the Kentucky game
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I have accepted Jesus as my personal savior and I will never deny him in front of my peers. But I don't have to repost a picture to prove it
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surprise! one more business trip for 2022 so more hotel selfies
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When another state is undergoing crisis, WV just prays.
When WV is in the midst or a crisis, we are insulted, stereotyped and made a joke!
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first half marathon of 2023 complete :) everybody say slay
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i look so ??? here, but anyways here’s your sign to take pto on a monday and enjoy a day to yourself
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started my second half-marathon of they year today feeling like I wouldn’t finish it…but I beat my PR by 5:44. My self-care weekend trip is going great 🤍
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When my sister was 6, we were at the dinner table and she put a green bean between her fingers and acted like she was smoking it. My mom smacked it out of her hand and my sister said “but mom, Hilary Duff does it”. The point of this tweet is that my sister smoked a green bean.
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Reed Kelly reading Missy DOWN in his jury speech had me in tears
quote with the funniest Reality tv show moment you’ve ever watched
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this run was brought to you by AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM
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Me giving a tour of my college: “There’s the cafeteria, I got really fat there. And there’s the library, I have a sleeping bag hidden in the encyclopedias. And there’s a classroom, I cry there a lot.”
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Completed my sixth half marathon of the year & first since my health issues/head injury. So here’s pre-run selfie vs. post-run glow. 🤍
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I can’t wait for sorority girls to show up to Area 51 and realize that aliens look nothing like their Halloween costume that consisted of metallic clothing, purple lipstick and glitter.
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Merry Chirstmas and remember....Jesus was a refugee. 🎅🏼 🎄🎁
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Whoever has my voodoo doll, could you take a little bit of the stuffing out around the gut area? I need this summer body but I’m not prepared to stop eating like Sandy Cheeks before hibernation, ya feel?
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Men are so heinous. When women don’t like or “get” something that is largely consumed by men, they just let men enjoy it. When it’s the reverse, men make it a point to disrespect it and fraternize over their mutual dislike for said things’ popularity as if it’s of lesser value.
The entire MetLife stadium just booed a Taylor Swift advertisement 😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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UNPOPULAR OPINION: Being able to make scrambled eggs and spaghetti does not mean you “can cook”. Don’t fight me on this.
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This is cool and all....but I think we should be more concerned with how much time you’re spending on the Olive Garden app.
Tip for my iPhone friends- if you think you may be addicted to social media (like me), you can go into your settings and see just how much battery (and time!) you’re draining on your social media apps. Beware, it ain’t pretty! 😳
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the face of someone who is tired of spending money on $20 drinks
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Hey
@iamcardib
, how do you like my graduation quote! Time to make some money moves.
#graduation
#CardiB
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my depression after 1 good day:
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these selfies brought to you by Jergen’s Natural Glow. thank u for the slightest bit of color :)
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When my brother was a toddler, he would call a jacket, a “jack”. So when he was hot, he would say “jack off” to let my parents know and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.
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Love is Blind Drinking Game: Drink every time Jessica mentions that she’s 10 years older than Mark.
**safety precaution: make sure you have health insurance because you WILL end up in the ER**
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My Instagram feed disagrees
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The Jonas Brothers went to the year 3000 and told us “not much has changed but they live underwater”. They warned us of the irreversible damage of global warming and the polar ice caps melting and we didn’t take them seriously. We stan woke legends.
0
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My
@tacobell
was training a drive thru cashier and when she gave me my food she said “come back and see us” and the guy training her said “oh, he will”. Honestly felt attacked but he’s not wrong.
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COVID: The Eris Tour
A new COVID variant Eris is spreading worldwide and on the rise again.
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Finally watched Season 2 of The White Lotus and they all deserved better. And y’all had me convinced I’d hate Portia.
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“You can come if you want” is more of an insult than an ivitation. It’s like saying “I didn’t originally think of inviting you. But now, I’m going to invite you out of pity.” Like, if I’m an afterthought, don’t bother.
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Twink death? I fear I may have undergone a rebirth instead 👀
(2019->2023)
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Retweet if you are:
1) unusual
2) not so typical
3) way too smart to be waiting around
4) tai chi practicing
5) a snowboard champion
6) can fix a flat on your car
7) a rockstar
Nobody will ever know which one.
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you did not gain weight you lost your summer tan you did not gain weight you lost your summer tan you did not gain wei
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drink my ginger ale, eat my biscoff cookie and post a pic to my close friends insta story with the caption “not me literally about to die”
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the 1980’s beach condo decor really compliments the post-morning run sweat
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good morning (afternoon), you don’t have to say it back
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Sometimes, when I get home, I sit in my car by myself for a while and think about how lonely I am. Then, I pull myself together to go inside and do the same exact thing, but this time, with Netflix.
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Deeper voices than Ben Shapiro:
1) all of the Rugrats
2) Dua Lipa
3) literally every Barbie in this movie
4) a 12 year old after getting hit in the nuts
5) Moaning Myrtle
6) Raven Baxter when she’s lying
7) Trisha Paytas
8) Tickle-Me-Elmo
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I think “How To Dress Like You Actually Want A Job” should be a required class in college. Some of y’all roll up to the career fairs looking like mama didn’t teach you how to match or what a belt is.
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In College we don’t say “I’m busy”, we say “I have way too much to do, why would you even ask me if I want to go out tonight.” which means, “sure, what time?.” Isn’t that amazing?
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Did they at least give you a ankle length denim skit to go with this?
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Hey
@MileyCyrus
, I have a degree in Marketing and will graduate with a Masters in Communication in April. I have a background in PR, Social Media and Strategic Comm. Please let me join your promo team....they’ve been slacking and I can do better.
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The best fast food chains ranked:
15. you
14. can’t
13. compare
12. chains
11. because
10. each
9. have
8. a
7. distinct
6. type
5. of
4. food
3. and
2. variety
1.
@tacobell
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