Jake
@jakebg32
Followers
1,021
Following
414
Media
281
Statuses
2,177
El Güero. Developer my work is undeniable. Only follow if you enjoy horrible ideas. All tweets are sarcasm.
The batcave
Joined December 2012
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
Any of the boys tryna come with me to claim Haiti while they have no gov?
Only problem will be this dude “barbecue”
But nothing a drone can’t fix. After this it will just be chaos from locals.
Then this beautiful paradise is ours.
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Knocked my ashtray off the desk.
Decided to start just ashing on the ground.
I have never felt more free
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90% of yall would have deleted your account and been calling a suicide hotline if you recieved the hate this guy has.
Kid has heart and courage.
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What’s his degree?
We hiring
JP Staples is having the day he deserves.
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So a patent for a testing kit for Covid-19
Was filed in 2015
(The 19 stands for the year it was “discovered”.)
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@MarioNawfal
They are naked because the soldiers would prefer not to get blown to shit by a hidden vest.
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Oh you do sales? Big ecom wolf?
My team is providing reaper attack drones to African warlords
And 7.62 rounds to Wagner and other PMC in the region.
All while helping the cia disrupt elections in developing nations.
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@EndWokeness
The suffering of the Palestinians is real.
But when you come to my country waving another flag desecrating our monuments, do you think that makes me want to support you at all?
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Just discovered the benefits of a Coca Cola infused with cigarette ashes.
The nicotine ash creates the ultimate elixir for testosterone and sexual stamina.
Never felt more alive.
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Tip
#1
don’t follow these accounts
10 Ways to SATISFY a woman.
- Psychology Thread -
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Me checking the house after I hear an intruder
(It was the ice machine)
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Just saw a flashback from a year ago. It hits me how drastically I’ve changed.
Yeah, I might be a bit arrogant, but that’s because I flipped my life around incredibly fast. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but here’s the deal:
if I could do it, so can you. Every journey is
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Cannot stand those dudes who go “yeh I was always an entrepreneur I started selling candy in high school”
I was 16 selling apps, websites and Xanax.
We aren’t the same.
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@cashconoisseur
Good, we will need a government once the resistance is squashed. Will be counting on you
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For those of you still in the U.S. or Europe enjoy WWIII
I will be tanning by the pool in Latam.
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Anyone able to make a short 3D animated character just needs to do like 5 motions
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Burning my passport and identifying as an illegal immigrant so I can get 10k and a free hotel room in NYC
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Jason is killing it making popcorn!
Look at how amazing he is spinning boxes!
With this talent I want him to do open heart surgery on me and be my defense attorney!
No such thing as unskilled labor in 2023. You're crushing it, Jason.
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Yeah these two are the problem… it’s not the millions of idiots spending their day watching them
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Climate activists were stopping me from getting my cigs.
Your honor I had no other choice.
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Everything in life is persuasion and sales.
There are 6 million “gurus”, “coaches”, and “mentors” all claiming they have the secret. I’m sure they are knowledgeable.
But for me personally I would rather learn from the GOAT of persuasion and charisma himself.
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I’m a gay black Jew from Palestine,
here’s how I use that to make money in high tick b2b sales
A 🧵
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When the migrant who landed in Spain
Is better than the migrant who landed in England
At footie
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@howyegettingon
Yeah if I am found od can one of the boys stab me up so the family will now I didn’t die a bitch
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Every tinder date I go on, I bring these bad boys with me.
I sit down. Stare deep into her eyes while I flaunt my finger dexterity.
50% of the time we leave before the entree gets there
The other 50% I am calling a bail bondsman
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@jakeshieldsajj
Love him, I’m a republican.
Has made even my most liberal family members say “I can’t even watch him talk it’s too sad”
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Mfrs spend 8 hours a day training Muay Thai
To get smoked by an 80 pound Chilean dude
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Did you know that “The Mountain” from Game of Thrones
Was born with dwarfism, and battled with mental health due to his stature
At the age of 17 he discovered a diet of only raw meat and milk
Absolutely insane transformation
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Just played the new COD.
They banned my mic for a week, because of “hate speech” in the lobby.
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Blacked out last night.
Had a sinking feeling I did something I would regret.
Checked my phone…
Every girl I’ve ever slept with was texted at least once.
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Currently walking back from a cute bakery in France with my girl. Paris really is the city of lights 😍
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“I’m so behind, I’m going to take some adderall and get some work done”
Me 2 hours later watching a documentary on Roman war strategies
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(1/2) My dad (a police officer.) Was ambushed last night responding to a call. A coward made a fake call attempting to get an officer into a dark parking lot.
Upon my Dad’s arrival, the coward unloaded a whole clip in an attempt to kill my father.
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You idiots spend all day analyzing stock charts.
I just copy Nancy Pelosis trades.
BREAKING: Nancy Pelosi has made over $1,240,000 on her $NVDA trade.
She has added now SIX!!! times her Congressional salary in 79 days on one trade.
Her Nvidia deep ITM call option is now up almost 63% since she entered two months ago.
See her portfolio on Unusual Whales.
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(2/2) What a lot of you don’t understand, is officers like my dad would lay his life down for you. A lot of y’all constantly say fuck 12 & laugh at cops being harassed.
So until you are confident you can protect your family by yourself, don’t say shit about police officers.
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I’m literally a pornstar, but at night instead of making a porno.. I jerk off
I’m literally Bruce Wayne, but at night instead of fighting crime… I scale ads.
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Your own people are dying to protect your right to say what you want to, and this is what you have to say🤦🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️
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I can leave $50k cash at my friends house and they won’t touch it
Can you say the same?
If not you need to reevaluate.
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RIP to one of my best friends OJ Simpson.
I will never forget all the valuable lessons you taught me.
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Your friends want a new Lamborghini or Rolex.
Mine want new nuclear weapons.
We aren’t the same.
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Don’t get why people are racist?
Try sales for a week and you will become a full blown nazi
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Keep your “Dark Psychology” and manipulation tactics
This right here is real game
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After spending 3 weeks in the Swiss alps meditating on the perfect 17 leg parlay…
It went bust on the 3rd game, down horrendously
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Why do we have self driving cars, but not a phone battery that will last through a day of school
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When you check the new match on tinder and it was the absolute dog of a women you accidentally swiped on
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I always try to keep my employees happy.
This year I threw a massive celebration for our legal team!
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Passport bros getting into a bar fight with the locals in LATAM or Asia.
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I really don’t understand people that bitch about a country and don’t leave?
Get a passport and plane ticket or shut the fuck up.
I bitched about the US and now I’m in Columbia it’s not that hard.
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I know a poon hound when I see one.
Don’t let your girl near this stud.
18.
Single.
Alpha Male.
Wildly Successful.
Passionately pro-Trump.
Do you find this attractive?
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My wang is only 3 inches big and I’ve disappointed every female I’ve ever slept with.
Here are some of the key things this taught me about B2B sales 🧵
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