Joe Gurski Profile Banner
Joe Gurski Profile
Joe Gurski

@j0egurski

Followers
5,082
Following
1,753
Media
1,164
Statuses
7,383

writer // fix your hearts or die #blacktranslivesmatter (he/him)

MCR
Joined June 2020
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 years
The oranges in my fridge watching me take out yet another Kit Kat Chunky for dessert
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 years
Nemo and his siblings moments before the shark attack
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
Rudolph when he wasn’t allowed to join in any reindeer games
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
Solar Power - Lorde
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
1 month
you wanna bop it spin it twist it flick it pull it to the side and get all up in it
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 years
Can’t stop thinking about Leona Lewis going as four Love Island contestants for Halloween, when she just looks like she’s dressed as herself in different outfits
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 months
when no one’s scored in tennis
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
9 months
are you joking??? she’s the fucking pe teacher
@poeticdweller
josef k hole
9 months
i bet all the little gay wizards at hogwarts came out to madam hooch
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
8 months
“paul isn’t her son, but ross is”
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 years
When the sims from all your different expansion packs hang out together
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
10 days
please don’t ban the only way to make friends as a thirty year old gay in manchester that doesn’t involve an app
@PolitlcsUK
Politics UK
10 days
🚨 BREAKING: Keir Starmer is set to ban smoking outside of pub gardens, nightclubs and football stadiums according to leaked government plans [ @JackElsom ]
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 months
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
1 year
me when I get a pint for £2.50
@KELLYROWLAND
KELENDRIA ROWLAND
1 year
MRS.WEATHERSPOON
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 years
Inspired by Madonna + Beyoncé, I present to you the British Icons version of Vogue
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 years
@D_Radiance Why does this look like a killer EP tracklist
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
“I wish I had Olivia Rodrigo when I was 15” You had Geraldine McQueen you ungrateful piece of shit
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 years
Alright yes it’s a barracuda, sorry I’m not perfect
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
8 months
@aguirreryan they’ve rebooted this for the 21st century
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
Gogglebox will be like: “In the week that President Biden formally recognised the 1915 massacre of Armenians as a genocide, we watched LOTS of GREAT TELLY 💖”
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 years
Her Majesty the Queen 🇬🇧. Let’s flood twitter with her pictures in support of our Royal Family.
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@BlightyUK
Violet Marianne🇬🇧
4 years
Her Majesty the Queen 🇬🇧. Let’s flood twitter with her pictures in support of our Royal Family.
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
Me next week in a pub quiz answering who fell at the Brit Awards
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
6 months
this man’s trajectory from being on celeb big brother and dating kerry katona to this needs to be studied
@PopCrave
Pop Crave
6 months
Shakira and Lucien Laviscount for “Puntería” music video, out this Friday.
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 years
It's so mad to me that Martine McCutcheon went from Eastenders to Love Actually to never being in anything else ever again
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
Jesy Nelson’s Shopping List • Loofah • Bitter • Butter • and a Swede
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
Jesus was visited by five kings: Frankie, Mollie, Una, Vanessa and Rochelle
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
10 months
the pile of clothes on my chair at 4am #BBUK
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
9 months
@Jack_WJB i’d be going to mcgonnagall, she’s dumbledore’s fag hag after all
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
1 year
Sources confirm the third entry in the series, "The Woman in the Sweat Drop Down My Balls", will be released sometime in 2024
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 years
Getting a new follower on Instagram
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 years
We need someone else to present UK Snatch Game because I can't deal with another episode of Ru telling a queen to do a character he's made up on the spot because he doesn't understand any British references
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 years
rhinoplasty, lip filler, cheek implants, chin implant, jaw shave, brow bone reduction, buccal fat removal, botox and eye lift
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
1 year
POV you’re the inside of that pocket
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@RoyalFamily
The Royal Family
1 year
As the countdown to the Coronation continues, a new photograph of The King and The Queen Consort has been released. 📸 Hugo Burnand
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
Can’t wait for the Drag Race UK S3 acting challenge, Line of Booty
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
I’ll tell you what’s homophobic - my cousin getting married on the same day as Eurovision so instead of Europop I have to endure several hours of Ed Shooran and Mamford & Sons
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 years
I am once again thinking about Barbra Streisand’s early album naming conventions
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
Tina Burner and Rosé have never looked so good
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 months
me heading to my upper circle seats at coop live:
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 months
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@AngelaRayner
Angela Rayner
2 months
Tomorrow. 🗳️ 🌹
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 years
@Rob__Daniels @gnarvanna Alright fish police
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
Football after tonight’s match:
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
1 year
A second padam has hit the dancefloor
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
Some straight boy at work said he’s seen my thicc legs and a$$ and said “you’d be a problem in shorts” never felt so complimented 😍
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
9 months
and introducing helen mirren as "the war queen"
@MailOnline
Daily Mail Online
9 months
Imelda Staunton will be joined by Olivia Colman and Claire Foy as all three 'Queen Elizabeths' unite in The Crown's finale
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 months
me walking through the fruit bat enclosure at chester zoo:
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
11 days
working his way through the pride 2024 lineup, claire richards you’re next
@ImStevan
sтevan ⚕️🧼
11 days
💘 | Loreen and Channing Tatum have been spotted together, sparking rumours about dating
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
5 months
little boy steals old man’s balloon
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
1 year
Diana Vickers when you ask how many times she’s gonna let you kill her
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 years
@reeccephilip She had an all day hair stylist appointment, a £50 Boohoo gift card and a dream
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
1 year
this has ruined my week tbh
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
the fact my boyfriend is working over Christmas bc the NHS is about to be overwhelmed and there are still members of my family who are a) wondering where he is and b) refusing to get vaccinated... the call is coming from inside the house Christine!
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 years
“Are those the-” “-The sluttiest shorts in my wardrobe? Yes, they are”
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
10 months
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 years
Jackie Weaver, who works on a parish council in Cheshire, being a tory?
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 years
@grovymango Put some respect on Quentin Blake’s name!
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
5 months
cake!
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
5 months
two older men turned up uninvited to my party, said they knew it was a private party and they were here for the birthday boy, and when I said that the birthday boy was me and that they should leave they said "we're already going, you're not that special" 😮‍💨
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
1 year
this came to me in a nightmare and i couldn’t rest until it was free
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 years
POV: it's tomorrow night and you're the wine I'm perusing on the bottom shelf at Aldi
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 months
ruby’s mum being kitty scott claus was such a good twist #doctorwho
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
Anyone: “when’s straight pride mo-“ Me:
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 months
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@Jeremyakee
J.R.R. TolKee
3 months
There is a concept known as “thin places”, where it is said that the veil between this world and the next is thin. You can sense the numinous around you, even if you cannot describe it. Where have you been that felt ‘thin’?
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 months
gone to an open mic night by myself
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
All I’m saying is I’ve never seen Anna Wintour and me gran in the same room
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 years
@TDTimeBaby The phrase "Elon Musk pulled a Grimes on Kanye via iMessage" would kill a time traveller from 1990
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
5 months
thirty part three!
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 years
Every gay on Twitter since watching #ItsASin :
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 years
It’s taking a lot of willpower to stop me from getting this guy round to mop my floors tbqh
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
1 year
please humour me 🫠
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
1 year
The #IKissedABoy music editors hitting play on the first ten seconds of every song in the Pride Playlist:
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
1 year
I check Rightmove across Manchester every couple of days and see so much unhinged shit, but this is a new level. The photographer really said "the sex doll stays IN the estate agent photos"
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
@davidlarbi_ @euanmiao Dogs are great but this one definitely said a slur towards you I’m sorry
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 years
This year, 2021, the Bank of England will issue the new polymer £50 note. The note will feature genius mathematician and war hero, Alan Turing. #LGBTHM21
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
1 year
Steph McGovern once again proving why she's in another league to other daytime TV presenters. Holly & Phil wouldn't dare criticise the status quo unless it served them
@nickw84
Nick Walker
1 year
Steph was absolutely cooking here @StephLunch
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 years
You okay babe? You’ve barely touched your quote this tweet with a picture of when you just KNEW your body was FIRE 🔥👀
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
Work bio really says "Joe is a huge bender"
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
LGB Alliance: I can’t believe we’re being excluded from the LGBTQ+ community for *checks notes* trying to exclude other people from the LGBTQ+ community
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
OF COURSE I've gone full slut for my team's Halloween costume
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
6 months
PE kit
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 years
My little sister having Whatsapp is the only thing keeping me alive this year
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
So Netflix turned down my screenplay, but how can I be mad about it when I've got an acknowledgement that someone from NETFLIX read my screenplay? And took the time to write feedback? 😱
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
Happy Father’s Day to all the hardworking dads out there
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
Petition to change the lyrics of Starships from “we’re higher than a motherfucker” to “my cousin’s best friend’s balls are swollen”
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 years
First images of Disney Pixar's "ADVENTURES IN CORONATION STREET" coming Christmas 2022
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 years
Can you believe that I got an email today saying that my TV pilot is on desks at four of the big UK channels? Shaking, truly ✨
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 years
@julezyme @nathanielr @randomfurlong Yet Robyn is gay and they acknowledge it in the show without her being out to her classmates
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 years
No one: @BBCPolitics : 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕒 ℝ𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕚 𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕒𝕜 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕟 𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥 💖
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
11 days
the irony that me and my friends are being used for this marketing and not one of us bought a ticket because it’s logistically impossible to get everyone who buys one into the ticketed areas 🩵
@ManchesterPride
Manchester Pride
11 days
Early Bird tickets on sale! 😱 🏳️‍🌈 Whether you had the best weekend ever or missed out on the fun, this is your chance to secure tickets to Manchester Pride Festival 2025 for the best price! 😎 We only have a very limited amount - Early Bird Tickets:
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
1 year
He was living his Barbie Dreams, what happened next you’d never expect
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
1 year
I love the way all "realistic" tattoos end up looking like they belong on the side of the waltzes at a travelling fair
@JediNabber
inabber🤠
1 year
bro got dobby on his chest
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
30 days
starting to think laurence fox hates money
@PopBase
Pop Base
1 month
‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ star Nicky Doll has sued British actor and politician Laurence Fox for defamation after he called drag queens from the Olympics opening ceremony “pedos” on social media.
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
2 years
What if we kissed under the Marge Simpson Eiffel Tower
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
4 years
Taylor Swift My ankle aged 8 🤝 Sick of being hurt by Scooter
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
“Did your parents always know you were gay?”
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
9 months
someone said i look like the dad from the royle family
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
I’ve waited so long to hug my Gran and she’s fully vaccinated on her seventieth 😭 so much love for you Susan
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@j0egurski
Joe Gurski
3 years
Omg just got called faggot on a night out! How vintage I love it
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