Joe Gurski
@j0egurski
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writer // fix your hearts or die #blacktranslivesmatter (he/him)
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The oranges in my fridge watching me take out yet another Kit Kat Chunky for dessert
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Rudolph when he wasn’t allowed to join in any reindeer games
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you wanna bop it spin it twist it flick it pull it to the side and get all up in it
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Can’t stop thinking about Leona Lewis going as four Love Island contestants for Halloween, when she just looks like she’s dressed as herself in different outfits
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are you joking??? she’s the fucking pe teacher
i bet all the little gay wizards at hogwarts came out to madam hooch
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When the sims from all your different expansion packs hang out together
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please don’t ban the only way to make friends as a thirty year old gay in manchester that doesn’t involve an app
🚨 BREAKING: Keir Starmer is set to ban smoking outside of pub gardens, nightclubs and football stadiums according to leaked government plans
[
@JackElsom
]
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me when I get a pint for £2.50
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Inspired by Madonna + Beyoncé, I present to you the British Icons version of Vogue
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“I wish I had Olivia Rodrigo when I was 15”
You had Geraldine McQueen you ungrateful piece of shit
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Gogglebox will be like: “In the week that President Biden formally recognised the 1915 massacre of Armenians as a genocide, we watched LOTS of GREAT TELLY 💖”
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Her Majesty the Queen 🇬🇧. Let’s flood twitter with her pictures in support of our Royal Family.
Her Majesty the Queen 🇬🇧. Let’s flood twitter with her pictures in support of our Royal Family.
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Me next week in a pub quiz answering who fell at the Brit Awards
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this man’s trajectory from being on celeb big brother and dating kerry katona to this needs to be studied
Shakira and Lucien Laviscount for “Puntería” music video, out this Friday.
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It's so mad to me that Martine McCutcheon went from Eastenders to Love Actually to never being in anything else ever again
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Jesy Nelson’s Shopping List
• Loofah
• Bitter
• Butter
• and a Swede
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Jesus was visited by five kings: Frankie, Mollie, Una, Vanessa and Rochelle
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Sources confirm the third entry in the series, "The Woman in the Sweat Drop Down My Balls", will be released sometime in 2024
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We need someone else to present UK Snatch Game because I can't deal with another episode of Ru telling a queen to do a character he's made up on the spot because he doesn't understand any British references
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rhinoplasty, lip filler, cheek implants, chin implant, jaw shave, brow bone reduction, buccal fat removal, botox and eye lift
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POV you’re the inside of that pocket
As the countdown to the Coronation continues, a new photograph of The King and The Queen Consort has been released.
📸 Hugo Burnand
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Can’t wait for the Drag Race UK S3 acting challenge, Line of Booty
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I’ll tell you what’s homophobic - my cousin getting married on the same day as Eurovision so instead of Europop I have to endure several hours of Ed Shooran and Mamford & Sons
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I am once again thinking about Barbra Streisand’s early album naming conventions
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Some straight boy at work said he’s seen my thicc legs and a$$ and said “you’d be a problem in shorts” never felt so complimented 😍
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and introducing helen mirren as "the war queen"
Imelda Staunton will be joined by Olivia Colman and Claire Foy as all three 'Queen Elizabeths' unite in The Crown's finale
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working his way through the pride 2024 lineup, claire richards you’re next
💘 | Loreen and Channing Tatum have been spotted together, sparking rumours about dating
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Diana Vickers when you ask how many times she’s gonna let you kill her
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@reeccephilip
She had an all day hair stylist appointment, a £50 Boohoo gift card and a dream
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the fact my boyfriend is working over Christmas bc the NHS is about to be overwhelmed and there are still members of my family who are a) wondering where he is and b) refusing to get vaccinated... the call is coming from inside the house Christine!
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“Are those the-”
“-The sluttiest shorts in my wardrobe? Yes, they are”
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Jackie Weaver, who works on a parish council in Cheshire, being a tory?
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two older men turned up uninvited to my party, said they knew it was a private party and they were here for the birthday boy, and when I said that the birthday boy was me and that they should leave they said "we're already going, you're not that special" 😮💨
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this came to me in a nightmare and i couldn’t rest until it was free
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POV: it's tomorrow night and you're the wine I'm perusing on the bottom shelf at Aldi
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There is a concept known as “thin places”, where it is said that the veil between this world and the next is thin. You can sense the numinous around you, even if you cannot describe it.
Where have you been that felt ‘thin’?
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All I’m saying is I’ve never seen Anna Wintour and me gran in the same room
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@TDTimeBaby
The phrase "Elon Musk pulled a Grimes on Kanye via iMessage" would kill a time traveller from 1990
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It’s taking a lot of willpower to stop me from getting this guy round to mop my floors tbqh
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The
#IKissedABoy
music editors hitting play on the first ten seconds of every song in the Pride Playlist:
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I check Rightmove across Manchester every couple of days and see so much unhinged shit, but this is a new level. The photographer really said "the sex doll stays IN the estate agent photos"
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@davidlarbi_
@euanmiao
Dogs are great but this one definitely said a slur towards you I’m sorry
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This year, 2021, the Bank of England will issue the new polymer £50 note.
The note will feature genius mathematician and war hero, Alan Turing.
#LGBTHM21
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Steph McGovern once again proving why she's in another league to other daytime TV presenters. Holly & Phil wouldn't dare criticise the status quo unless it served them
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You okay babe? You’ve barely touched your quote this tweet with a picture of when you just KNEW your body was FIRE 🔥👀
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LGB Alliance: I can’t believe we’re being excluded from the LGBTQ+ community for *checks notes* trying to exclude other people from the LGBTQ+ community
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My little sister having Whatsapp is the only thing keeping me alive this year
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So Netflix turned down my screenplay, but how can I be mad about it when I've got an acknowledgement that someone from NETFLIX read my screenplay? And took the time to write feedback? 😱
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Petition to change the lyrics of Starships from “we’re higher than a motherfucker” to “my cousin’s best friend’s balls are swollen”
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First images of Disney Pixar's "ADVENTURES IN CORONATION STREET" coming Christmas 2022
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Can you believe that I got an email today saying that my TV pilot is on desks at four of the big UK channels? Shaking, truly ✨
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@julezyme
@nathanielr
@randomfurlong
Yet Robyn is gay and they acknowledge it in the show without her being out to her classmates
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the irony that me and my friends are being used for this marketing and not one of us bought a ticket because it’s logistically impossible to get everyone who buys one into the ticketed areas 🩵
Early Bird tickets on sale! 😱 🏳️🌈 Whether you had the best weekend ever or missed out on the fun, this is your chance to secure tickets to Manchester Pride Festival 2025 for the best price! 😎 We only have a very limited amount - Early Bird Tickets:
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He was living his Barbie Dreams, what happened next you’d never expect
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I love the way all "realistic" tattoos end up looking like they belong on the side of the waltzes at a travelling fair
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starting to think laurence fox hates money
‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ star Nicky Doll has sued British actor and politician Laurence Fox for defamation after he called drag queens from the Olympics opening ceremony “pedos” on social media.
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I’ve waited so long to hug my Gran and she’s fully vaccinated on her seventieth 😭 so much love for you Susan
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Omg just got called faggot on a night out! How vintage I love it
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