owen 🍊
@ireallyluvsleep
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i am going to rip out my soul and bury it in the dirt and do a little dance on it
Joined April 2016
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In my slut phase ( deleted Instagram but I’m using Snapchat )
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woke up this morning and the only thought on my mind was an idea for a jeopardy round where the question is 'what is the opposite of down dog' and the contestant would answer 'what is up dog'
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Me holding the guitar given to me by my first year seminar professor for free(not clickbait)
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my mom just saw michael cera with out me. i am ending my life
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mark my words im going to sneak into your server rooms and piss on every single piece of technology in the room.
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if i was streaming rn AOC’s numbers would be cut in half. but I won’t do that to her lol
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Wearing my long johns and I am on the subway pondering and I wonder what if a beautiful women says Owen please have sex with me and I say ok but then we get to her home and then I have to take off my long Johns awkwardly - joyce
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are you too scared to ever ask the starbucks barista for water or are you normal
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roomates laughing at me as i explain to them how i figured out an issue in my coding assignment in the shower
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just dropped my chipotle bowl on the floor i don’t know how much longer i can do this
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Boss taking me off aux like I won’t end my life in front of his eyes
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-playing jenga with group of friends -i pull out jenga piece -tower toppled over -dad walks past -dad exclaims “jenga!” - dad continues walking
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I have a funny image but it’s on my computer so I can’t tweet it rn so you just gotta trust me
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It’s good for me to see men on tiktok that I just look like a worse version of so that I remember I’m not special in the slightest
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I’m the first person to see a black midi show and get an endoscopy in the same 24 hours
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Went to my local deli and they didn’t have a can of Dr Pepper. What’s the point of being alive
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Whoever is having passionate sex in my dorm please quiet down I’m trying to listen to grouper !
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My fitted sheets just came off for the one millionth time I don’t know if I can do this anymore
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how is this real
The degenerate left claimed President Trump had health issues after drinking water with 2 hands.
Today he drank with one and tossed the glass to the side! 🤣
GREATEST. PRESIDENT. EVER.
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if i was grimes friend i would have convinced her not to date elon. guess thats just me tho🤷♂️
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No way I just learned where my brother is going to college from my dads repost of Sam’s high school decision page
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reading magic tree house a little earlier then the rest of us doesn’t make you special
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This is my lcd soundsystem breakup
We have some news to share concerning the future of the band. Please read on for information on upcoming shows, but it seems right to pass on this message from Isaac first
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no hate to this guy but i feel like 45k worth of donations could go to more meaningful and important causes
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this one goes out to all my haters: I am the same height as timothee
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does this man child ever shut up
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How many “epic soccer shots and fails” compilations does a girly need to watch before it’s concerning
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Do I read manga or face the crushing reality of entering adulthood
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Anti Semitic as fuck for conn to pair the Chanukah celebration with an improv show
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driving through maine and some of the leaves are already red 💕💖💞💗🥰 🍁
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if i was famous i simply would not be a horrible human being. guess that’s just me tho 🤷♂️
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bernie at the crib
I made a website where you can put bernie in places using google maps street view. Enjoy!
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Ok he kinda real for this I get it
SNAPPED! Machine Gun Kelly almost shot himself during phone call with Megan Fox, details intense moment he put shotgun in his mouth
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😔
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do you like my shoeeeeees because they’ve been ripped to shit walking the world for youuuuu
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It’s one thing for it to happen at college but it’s truly pitiful to walk into the kitchen at 2pm as you are just waking up and your entire family has been doing things since like 8
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