Emily: i like your tie. Hotch: oh what did you do? Emily: what– nothing… can’t i just compliment your tie? *explosion coming from the BAU’s kitchen*

Spencer: hostage or not, sometimes it’s nice to be held. Derek: WHERE ARE YOU?

Elle: you seem familiar... have i threatened you before?

Spencer, holding a python: guys i impulsively bought a snake, what do i name him? Derek, jumping behind the desk furthest from him: you did WHAT– Emily: William Snakepeare.

JJ, trying on Penelope’s glasses: do i look cute? Penelope: i wish i could say yes, but i can’t see, JJ.

Will, to JJ: hey, i'm Will. and you are? JJ: Emily, appearing out of nowhere, wrapping an arm around JJ's waist: taken.

JJ: give me some space, i'm gonna cook. Emily: can i help ? JJ: i'd rather fight an UnSub naked than let you near the kitchen again.

Penelope: i dare you to– JJ: Emily isn't allowed to accept dares. Emily: apparently i have “no regard for my personal safety”.

Luke: wanna hear some dark humor? Tara: yeah, i love dark humor. Luke: alright. Luke: *turns off the lights* Luke: knock knock. Tara: turn the damn lights back on.

JJ, handing Emily a paper: and this is our phone bill. Emily: OH MY GOD?? JJ: JJ: that’s our phone number.

[Emily about to escalate the situation in 17x09] Rebecca: Emily, no. Emily: Emily, yes.

Derek: when you said “magic in bed”, i wasn't expecting this… Spencer: *pulls out card from deck* now, was this your card? Derek: holy shit

Emily: what would you do if i was kidnapped? Hotch: i'd let them keep you. Spencer: and me? Hotch: nothing. i'll wait 30 minutes until they let you go voluntarily.

JJ, on the phone with Emily: babe i'm breaking up- Emily: I'M PREGNANT JJ: …i meant the phone. Emily: right, sorry, i panicked.

UnSub, pointing a gun at Emily: don't move, or i'll kill you. Emily: bold of you to assume i've never been killed before.

Hotch: Emily, where are you? Emily, lying on the ground with a concussion: uhh i see a cloud that looks like a lion. Hotch: anything more specific? Emily: Simba.

Emily first joining: actually, no, i can’t explain this gap in my resume because that would be trauma dumping.

[at Disneyland, on the teacup ride] Penelope, JJ and Spencer: *spinning a little and talking* Derek and Emily: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

*Penelope, signing a legal document in glitter gel pen* Strauss: Garcia– Hotch: leave her be.

Emily, texting Hotch: *sends a voice message* Hotch, texting back: is it urgent? Emily, texting back: no it can wait :D [later on] Hotch: *presses play* Emily, on the voice message: SO UM THERE’S A FIRE