Emilia: I’m taking a walk. Beatrice is in charge. I’ve left notes for you two with instructions.
Subaru: Mine just says “Subaru, no.”
Emilia: And you can apply that to any situation.
Otto: look at the sky Natsuki-san, what do you see?
Subaru: I see millions of stars.
Otto: and what does that mean?
Subaru: that the universe is beautiful and infinite?
Otto: it means our tent has been stolen
Subaru:…I hate going camping with you
Otto: the feeling is mutual.
Ram: Barusu, I dare you to kiss the prettiest person in the room.
Subaru: Okay, I guess.
Subaru: Rem.
Rem: Y-yes?
Subaru: Move. I need to get to Emilia.
Subaru: the first time i met Emilia, she gave me two gold coins. it wasn’t necessary and nobody asked her to do it, but she still did it!
Emilia: i thought he was homeless
Otto: Can I be frank with you all?
Subaru: I don't see how changing your name is going to help, but sur—
Garfiel: Can I still be Garfiel?
Petra: Oh, I wanna go by Lady Petra!
Emilia: Ssh, let Frank speak.
Subaru: Joe came down with ligma, updog.
Otto: What's ligma?
Garfiel: Who's Joe?
Emilia: What's updog?
Subaru, internally: My entire life has been spent to lead up to this exact moment.
Emilia: I mean, small animals are way more vicious. It’s because their anger has way less space to be bottled up in.
Otto: That’s ridiculous. Give me one example of this.
Frederica: Spiders.
Petra: Wasps.
Subaru: Beako.
Subaru: *looking at the stars*
Emilia: What are you doing?
Subaru: Naming the stars after people I love
Emilia: Do I get a star?
Subaru: You get the sun
Subaru: (sighing) I’m a piece of trash.
Rem: As someone who cares deeply about the environment, I'm obligated to pick you up, is seven okay?
Subaru:
Roswaal: Wow.
Emilia: how did you two get in an accident?
Subaru: he was driving and there was a deer on the road so i yelled «Otto, deer!»
Emilia: and?
Subaru: tell her what you said
Otto:
Otto: i said «yes, honey?»
Emilia: Subaru, what is a ship?
Subaru: It’s a big boat, like the Titanic.
Lia: Why do people want us to be in a boat?
Garf: (laughing in the corner)
Lia: People say they ship us, I was wondering what it means.
Garf: (falls to the floor laughing)
Lia: GARF, THIS ISN’T FUNNY
Someone: *flirts with Emilia*
Subaru: *stares at them silently*
Otto: you seem awfully quiet today, Natsuki-san
Subaru: *still staring* nobody plans a murder out loud.
Garfiel: I used to play catch with my mom.
Garfiel: Except the ball hit the wall because she wasn't there.
Beatrice: Same.
Subaru:
Subaru: Are you guys okay?
Otto: So what’s Frederica-san's type?
Subaru: Grey haired, smart, oblivious, blue-eyed.
Otto: Sounds kind of like me. Too bad we’re just friends.
Subaru: Did I mention oblivious?
Otto: Yes?
Subaru: Just making sure.
Subaru: I saved my best idea for last.
Emilia: If it’s your best idea, why did you leave it for last?
Subaru: Because I didn’t know it was my best idea until my other ideas turned out to be terrible.
Ram: You are all disappointments.
Ram: You know who hasn’t been a disappointment yet? Barusu.
Ram: Because I expect him to be a bitch and he always is.
Subaru:
Subaru: I’m sorry, what?
Felt: We need to get through this locked door. Subaru nii-chan, give me a coin.
Subaru: Here.
Felt, pocketing it: Thanks. Reinhard, kick down the door.
Subaru: you can trust me. let’s not forget who pulled you out of that river yesterday
Otto: let’s not forget who PUSHED ME IN
Subaru:
Subaru: anyway, as i was saying