incorrect KinnPorsche quotes
@incorrect_kp
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fan account | none of these quotes are original | they didn't actually say these or maybe they did at some points.
she/her
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Pete : What's your biggest fear?
Vegas : You.
Pete : Me?
Vegas : I'm scared that one day, you'll look in the mirror and see yourself as I see you. You will realize just how amazing you are and that you deserve better than me, I'm terrified that you'll leave.
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Barcode : P'Mile, I'm writing a report on dinosaurs, what can you tell me about them?
Mile : Why are you asking me?
Barcode : Well you were there so...
#incorrectKinnPorsche
#KinnPorscheTheSeries
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Macau : How was the honeymoon?
Vegas : Pete got drunk and tried to destroy our marriage certificate.
Vegas : He said, "good luck trying to return me without the receipt"
Vegas : I love him.
#VegasPeteStory
#KinnPorscheTheseries
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Venice: Dad, can I go to the movies tonight?
Vegas: Kid, I’m not your dad, you can do whatever the hell you want.
Venice: Okay-
Vegas: Be home by eleven, don’t talk to strangers, and remember to look both ways before crossing the road.
Venice:
Vegas: Here, money for popcorn.
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Interviewer : What do you and Build like to do together?
Bible : Actually we've been playing valorant together recently.
Build : But we only have one computer so I play and Bible curses at the other team through the microphone.
#incorrectKinnPorsche
#BibleBuild
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Vegas: Pete?
Pete: Yes?
Vegas: You deserve the world, and one day I'll find out how to give it to you.
Pete: Vegas?
Vegas: Yes?
Pete: You're my world.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas: It’s almost Halloween! Quick Pete, tell me a scary story.
Pete: A life without me in it.
Vegas:
Macau, walks in: Hey gu- Why is my brother crying?
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas: Sometimes, I wish I had become a dad.
Pete: But you already are!
Venice: Yes, what about me!?
Vegas: You do realize that I’m your brother, right?
Venice: [ gasps ]
Venice, writing in his diary while announcing: Today my dad disowned me... AGAIN.
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Chay : Isn't it great P'Kim? It's just the three of us here.
Kim :
Chay : You, me, and the brick wall you built between us.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
#KimChay
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Arm : I sleep with a knife under my pillow.
Pol : Weak, I sleep with a gun.
Pete : You're both pathetic.
Arm : Oh? What do you sleep with?
Pete : Vegas.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Lawyer : Did your boyfriend commit the crime?
Chay : He can't even commit to this relationship.
Entire jury : OHH SNAP
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#KimChay
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Vegas: Pete tells me you had a fight at school.
Venice: Yeah.
Vegas, speaks louder: That's not what we send you to school to do!
Vegas, closes door: Did you win?
Venice: Obviously.
Vegas: Good. Good.
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Waitress: Are you two a couple?
Pete: N-
Porsche: Is there a discount?
Waitress: Ten percent off dessert.
Porsche: [ puts his arm around Pete ]
Porsche & Pete: Yes. Yes, we are.
[ camera cuts to one very jealous Kinn and one very sulky Vegas in the background ]
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[ At the mall ]
Vegas : I've lost my son. Can you make an announcement?
Security : Sure, what's his name?
Vegas :
Security : Uhhh sir?
Vegas : Shut up I'm thinking.
#incorrectKinnPorsche
#KinnPorscheTheSeries
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Vegas: Pete?
Pete: Yeah?
Vegas: Do you think it was destiny that brought us together?
Pete: No, I'm pretty sure it was Kinn.
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Pete: I'm cold.
Vegas: [ moving to cuddle him ]
Macau: I'm cold too.
Pete:
Vegas:
Macau:
Vegas, sighs: Okay come here.
Macau, climbing between them: :)
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Venice, at 3am, poking Vegas in the eyes: Daddy, daddy, daddy.
Vegas: Hm?
Venice: happy birthday!
Vegas: thanks.
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Porsche: What do you do when Pete’s mad at you?
Vegas: Is Kinn mad at you?
Porsche: Yes.
Vegas: Well, I’d just man up and tell him to suck it and respect me.
Porsche: Do you really do that?
Vegas: No, I stand outside the bedroom apologising to him until he lets me in.
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Vegas : Was I a bad father, Vegie?
Venice : My name is Venice.
#VegasPeteStory
#incorrectKinnPorsche
#KinnPorscheTheSeries
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Vegas: [ goes in to kiss Pete ]
Pete: [ slaps him ]
Vegas: What the hell, Pete?
Pete: Shit sorry, I forgot we're dating now.
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Vegas: Why are there little handprints on the wall?
Pete, to baby Venice: Honey, why are there little handprints on the wall?
Baby Venice: ceBause, i hAVe liTtLe hAns!
Pete, to Vegas: Because he has little hands.
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Pete : Vegas, you can't love someone unless you love yourself first.
Vegas : Bullshit. I have never loved myself. But you, oh god, I loved you so much I forgot what hating myself felt like.
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Pete : Vegas, I got a question for you.
Vegas : Okay.
Pete : Do you ever think of the future?
Vegas : Sure, I do.
Pete : Am I in it?
Vegas : Pete, you are it.
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Venice: Dad... So about this dinosaur...
Assistant: Sir, the guests are waiting.
Vegas: Let them wait! I'm talking to my son.
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Chay: Babe?
Macau: Yes?
Kim: Yes?
Porsche, grabs popcorn: I am so gonna watch this drama.
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Venice: Dad! I learned a joke at school today.
Vegas: Okay, let’s hear it.
Venice: What goes in stiff but comes out soft?
Vegas:
Venice:
Vegas: Is it a-
Pete, running in: IT’S SPAGHETTI! IT’S SPAGHETTI VEGAS!
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Macau : There was a fire at school today.
Pete : Are you ok? did you get hurt?
Vegas : Did you start it?
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Vegas: Are you still mad at me?
Pete: Yes.
Vegas: I have 70 ways to make it up to you.
Pete: Oh really? Okay let's hear it.
Vegas: Number 1- A big hug.
Pete: ...and the rest?
Vegas: 69
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Vegas: When you see Pete, tell him "Vegas says you look pretty today"
Porsche: How do you know, you haven't seen him yet.
Vegas:
Vegas: Pete.
Vegas: Always.
Vegas: Looks.
Vegas: Pretty.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Build: What’s this movie called?
Bible: I Love You, Man.
Build: I love you too. But what’s the movie called?
Bible: I LOVE YOU, MAN!
Build: I LOVE YOU TOO, BRO!
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas: I fear no one!
Pete, whispering behind him: Except your husband.
Vegas: Except my husband!
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Pete: If you could bring one person to a deserted island with you, who would it be?
Vegas: Kinn.
Pete:
Porsche:
Kinn: ... But why?
Vegas: Because if I have to suffer, then so do you.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas: What’s your last name?
Pete: Um...? It hasn’t changed since we met...
Vegas, getting down on one knee: Maybe it’s time it does.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Vegas: Father’s day is just a ploy made by capitalists in order to increase revenue by building sentiment over a relationship which will only bring pain and abandonm-
Venice: Dad, I made you a card!
Vegas, tearing up: Y-you did?
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Pete: [ crying ]
Porsche: What’s wrong?
Pete: Vegas got me roses. He said ‘I’ll love you till the last one dies.’
Porsche: You’re crying because you think he’ll stop loving you when some roses die-
Pete: One of them is fake. It can’t die!
Porsche: Ah, these are happy tears.
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Macau: What colour are P'Pete's eyes?
Vegas: They're brown, with hints of light brown when the light hits just right
Macau: And when was the last time he smiled?
Vegas: This morning at 10:32am.
Macau: Right... and when is my birthday?
Vegas:
Macau: When is my birthday, hia?
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Venice: Dad do you want to see the picture that i drew at school?
Vegas: Sure.
Venice: Okay there is the house, there is Pa Pete, there is you, there is P'Macau, and there is the shadow creature that follows me around wherever I go.
Vegas:
Vegas: Why did you make me so short?
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Venice, dressed as Elsa: Zap! Dad, you’re frozen!
Vegas: I don’t have time to play right now.
Pete: Go buy food.
Vegas: Can't. I'm frozen.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-
Pete: It was me.
Vegas: ... be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.
Macau: If it was me I'd be dead by now.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Venice : [ screams ]
Vegas : [ picks him up ]
Venice : [ screams louder ]
Vegas : [ puts him down ]
Venice : [ screams louder ]
Vegas : Goddammit, PETE-
#VegasPeteStory
#KinnPorscheTheseries
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Pete: Do you want to do something today?
Vegas: Can't. I'm going to play chess with Kinn.
Pete: Since when are you and Kinn friends?
Vegas: What? We aren't, but since you don't let us fight we had to look for other ways to kill each other.
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Pete: Don't hurt me, I have a husband.
Killer: You think I care about that?
Pete: No, this isn’t a plea for mercy. It’s a warning.
Killer: What?
Vegas, kicking down the door: SO YOU HAVE CHOSEN DEATH!
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas: [ holding up Venice in a lion cub suit ]
Pete: Vegas, what are you doing?
Vegas: Teaching him about the circle of life.
Venice: [ roars in tiny ]
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas: That’s it. You’re grounded. Give me your phone
Venice: [ hands him his phone ]
Vegas: What’s the password?
Venice: My birthday.
Vegas, hands back phone:
Venice: ...Dad, you don't know my birthday?
Vegas: You’re ungrounded as long as you don’t tell Pete
Venice: Deal.
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Macau: Can you say "P'Macau"?
Venice:
Macau: Can you say "brother"?
Venice:
Macau: Shit, maybe it's too diffic-
Venice: Shit.
Macau:
Macau: oH NO.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Pete: [ walks into their bedroom ]
Pete: [ wraps arms around Vegas' shoulders gently and whispers in his ear ]
Pete: Steal my ice cream from the freezer again and I will make sure they never find your body.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Pete: I hate you...
Vegas: I hate me too.
Pete:
Vegas:
Pete: Babe we’ve talked about this...
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas : Pete, how's your fever?
Pete : What fever?
Vegas : Oh you just looked hot to me.
Pete : [ blush ]
Macau, slams table : ONE DINNER, I just need ONE normal dinner.
#VegasPeteStory
#incorrectKinnPorsche
#KinnPorscheTheSeries
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Build : [ Hands Bible a water bottle ]
Bible : Thanks, what's this for?
Build : P'Tong said watching me dance made you thirsty.
Bible : [ Chokes on water ]
#incorrectKinnPorsche
#BibleBuild
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Vegas: You know Pete, you have very nice hands, they look so wonderful wrapped around that spoon.
Pete: Uh...thanks?
Vegas: You know where else they would look wonderful?
Vegas: Wrapped around my-
Macau: GLASS OF HOLY WATER! PRAISE THE LORD, AMEN!
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Vegas : No, I wouldn't die for you.
Pete : What?
Vegas : I'd live for you. My whole life I'd been willing to die, but for you? I'd live just for you.
#VegasPeteStory
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Vegas : What if I have no soulmate because I have no soul?
Macau : P'Pete will literally be back in five minutes, calm down phi.
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Vegas: Porsche, do you know you're close to perfection?
Porsche: Aww, really?
Vegas: Yeah, you are sitting next to Pete.
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Doctor: Name?
Porsche: Porsche.
Doctor: Sex?
Porsche: Frequently.
Doctor: I mean male or female.
Porsche: Doesn’t matter.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Khun: So how's your life, Vegas?
Vegas: I don't know, let me ask him.
Vegas, turning to Pete: Pete, how are you?
Pete: I’m great!
Vegas: Well, it seems like my life is doing great!
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas: Good night. I love you.
Pete: I love you too.
Vegas:
Pete:
Vegas: We love you too, Macau.
Macau, sharing a room with them: Thanks, I was honestly feeling a little left out.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Porsche: God I really hate Vegas.
Pete: I don’t know, I think he’s ni-
Porsche: We’re best friends, we’re suppose to hate the same people!
Pete:
Pete: Vegas is my husband.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Pete: No, Venice! Let go of him, he needs to go home!
Venice, still clinging to Porsche: Nooooo uncle Porsche!
Porsche, trying to get away: Why is he so strong!? What are you feeding him!?
#KinnPorscheTheseries
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Pete : [ talking about something ]
Vegas : [ staring ]
Pete, casually : Well fuck me if I'm wrong but-
Vegas : Wrong.
Pete : But I didn't-
Vegas : You're wrong.
Pete : Vegas listen-
Vegas : WRONG.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Pete: Venice is missing, can you find him?
Vegas: What? Do you think I have him micro-chipped or something?
Pete: ...well, do you?
Vegas:
Vegas: Yeah hold on.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Pete, sitting up in bed in the middle of the night: But what if Vegas doesn't love me?
Vegas, half asleep: Pete we've been married for 20 years please go back to sleep.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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[ Vegas and Pete arguing ]
Vegas: Oh, shut up.
Pete: [ glares ]
Vegas: How dare I talk to you like that?!
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas: Venice is crying again.
Pete: He's probably just hungry, give him a bottle.
Vegas: Hennessy or Don Julio?
Pete:
Vegas:
Pete: Milk Vegas. MILK.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Pete : If I died, how much would you miss me?
Vegas : It's cute how you think death can get you out of this relationship.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Venice: Dad, you aren't coming with me?
Vegas: I'm not your dad, kid.
Vegas: [ hands him a lunchbox ]
Vegas: Here are your sandwiches. I'll pick you up at five.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Pete : [ Sits in Vegas' lap ]
Pete : Why do you always have something in your pockets?
Vegas : These pants don't have pockets.
#VegasPeteStory
#incorrectKinnPorsche
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas : What are you eating?
Venice :
Venice : [ starts chewing faster ]
Vegas : WHAT ARE YOU EATING-
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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[ At Vegas and Pete wedding ]
Macau, raising a glass: To my new brother-in-law I say this:
Macau: You have released me. The devil is yours now.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Porsche: [ calling Pete ]
Vegas: Hello, this is the crematorium, you kill 'em, we grill 'em, what's your body count?
Porsche: What-
Pete, In the background : GODDAMN IT, VEGAS, STOP ANSWERING MY PHONE!
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Jeff : I have no fear.
Staff : Ta and Barcode will be sitting together at the fan meet.
Jeff : I have one fear.
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Pete : We all have our demons.
Pete, pointing to Vegas : He's mine.
#KinnPorscheTheSeries
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Vegas : Pete, want me to do a tarot reading for you?
Pete : Sure.
Vegas, laying down cards : Alright, this one tells me you're a precious angel, this one says your smile is heavenly, and-
Pete : Those aren't even tarot cards, they're photos of me.
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Vegas: Life sucks.
Vegas: People sucks.
Pete: What about me?
Vegas: You suck...
Pete: ... [ offended ]
Vegas: ...real good.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas: Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Vegas: Open your legs and give me an hour.
Pete: [ chokes ]
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas: Go fuck yourself!
Pete: Fuck me yourself, coward!
Vegas, already taking his clothes off: You asked for this!
Macau, watching them from the afterlife: This is the weirdest foreplay ever.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Porsche: What did you do to Vegas last night?
Pete: What? I didn’t do anything, the date was amazing!
Porsche: Yeah, but he’s been making that face all morning. Look, he’s doing it again!
Pete: ...but he’s just smiling?
Porsche: Exactly! It’s creeping everyone out!
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Pete: I'm too classy to top.
Pete: I mean, look at my nails
Pete: And my collarbones deserve hickeys, they're so pretty
Pete: I look great in a skirt
Pete: Can't forget that my ass is extremely fucking beautiful
Pete: Right, Vegas?
Vegas: Is it hot in here or is it just me?
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Vegas: If a stranger came up to you and said 'I'm your dad's friend and he sent me to pick you up', what would you say?
Venice: 'You're a liar because my dad doesn't have any friends.'
Vegas:
Vegas: Well that’s not what I expected.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas, bursting into the room: It's missing!
Pete, turned away: What's missing?
Vegas, exasperated: T-the thing!
Pete, turning with baby Venice in his arms: What thing?
Vegas, relaxing: Oh! You have it.
Pete: Wh-
Pete: YOU MEANT OUR CHILD?
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Vegas: Go in there and tell Macau to get his ass up so we can get ready to go.
Venice: Okay Dad, can I say ass?
Vegas: Yeah sure, I don't care.
Venice, kicks the door open: Dad says to get your damn motherfucking lazy ass up so we can go, bitch.
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Venice : I can't sleep. There's a monster under my bed.
Vegas : That's silly, there's no such thing as mon-
Vegas, screaming : OH GOD ITS TEARING MY ARM!
Vegas : Just kidding, it only eats kids. Good night.
#VegasPeteStory
#incorrectKinnPorsche
#KinnPorscheTheSeries
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Tong : Can someone recommend me a book that made them cry?
Bible : General mathematics, grade four.
#incorrectKinnPorsche
#KinnPorscheTheSeries
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Vegas: I hate people.
Pete: What about me?
Vegas: No, I don't hate angels.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Pete: [ bites his lip during an argument ]
Vegas: Oh great, just great! Now I'm angry and horny!
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Venice: Papa! I drew you and daddy at school today!
Vegas: Hell yeah, fanart.
Pete: Vegas!
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Build : Anyone knows a cheap gaming chair?
Bible : My lap.
#incorrectKinnPorsche
#BibleBuild
#KinnPorscheTheSeries
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Vegas: I would die for you.
Pete: Yeah, but you wanna die everyday, so that doesn't mean much.
Vegas: I would live for you, then.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Venice: Pa, I did drugs today!
Pete: What?!
Vegas: He took cough medicine.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas : [ Walking at the park with Venice ]
Random lady : Aww you look like your dad.
Venice : [ Starts crying ]
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#KinnPorscheTheSeries
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Kinn : [ Wakes up after an accident ]
Kinn : Where's Porsche?
Khun : Who do you think gave you this heart?
Kinn, starts tearing up : No...
Khun : Just kidding he's at the bathroom.
#KinnPorscheTheSeries
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Pete: What’s your favorite type of music?
Vegas: Your moan.
Pete: [ blushes and grins ]
Macau:
Macau: What the FU-
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas: Hey Macau you ok?
Macau, laying face down on the floor: I'm sad.
Vegas: Me too.
Vegas: No, wait, hi sad, I'm your big brother.
Vegas: No, wait, what's wrong?
Macau: [ giggles ]
Vegas: Nailed it.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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12
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Bible : [ Teaching Ta and Barcode maths ]
Bible, pointing to a triangle : This means it's 90 degrees.
Ta : How it can be 90 degrees? It's raining.
Bible : No, the angle is-
Barcode : Because of global warming.
Bible, sighing : Goddammit.
#incorrectKinnPorsche
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Porsche: If we put Kinn and Vegas in a room, who do you think would come out crying first?
Pete: The room.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Vegas: I love you Pete.
Pete: I love you too.
Macau: RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?
Vegas:
Vegas: Honestly why the fuck are you eating salad in our bedroom?
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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12
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Venice: [ cries ]
Vegas, stirring from sleep: Your son is awake.
Pete, half asleep: Before sunrise he's your son.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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Pete: Vegas this dish is too beautiful, how can I eat it?
Vegas: You're beautiful and I still eat you.
Pete:
Vegas:
Macau: FOR FUCKS SAKE! ONE MEAL, PLEASE! VENICE IS HERE!
#KinnPorscheTheseries
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14
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Porsche: Where's Vegas?
Pete: He went to go fight everyone who has ever insulted me.
Porsche: Ok, who's first?
Pete: Himself, he's been yelling at a mirror for the past 3 hours.
#KinnPorscheTheseries
#incorrectKinnPorsche
7
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Venice: Dad, I can’t feel my leg.
Vegas: It’s because your leg is dead.
Venice, on the verge of tears: What?
Vegas: Nah kidding.
Venice: Oh.
Vegas: Actually I’m not, your leg is really dead and I’m afraid I’ll have to cut it off for good.
Venice, already crying: PA PETE!!!
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