Ian Ford
@ij_ford
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Following
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Statuses
1,357
Joint night editor @guardian . The Guardian wishes it had my views
London
Joined July 2011
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Pinned Tweet
If this place goes down and mutuals want to find me, you can email me abuse at the Guardian like strangers on here
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Arrived at our Airbnb. Woman who owns it pointed out the usual - keys here, wifi password - then said 'and I must tell you about... The seagull'
Turns out one is nesting outside our bedroom and we mustn't look at it because otherwise it gets agitated and will attack the windows
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Liz Truss says they've shown the 'depth and breadth of talent in the Conservative party' and it's hard to disagree with that
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Middlesbrough told Chelsea 'see you later' in their statement and now the London club are confused
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When I was a child someone told me they could get me a pirate copy of Jurassic Park if I paid them. I went home and asked my mum for the money on the basis 'it's already my favourite film and this version has pirates in'
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Won't somebody please think of the billionaires
We live in frightening times when even billionaires can be raided by the FBI.
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The fun of having a non-British partner who tells you first thing in the morning how excited her mum is to 'go cottaging'
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Got delayed on a train a few weeks ago and applied for compensation. They have given me a cheque, like they're my gran on my birthday
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Someone at the Guardian office just told the person on the other end of the phone 'sorry, I'm in a tunnel'
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Was on the tube and a man got on and asked to borrow my phone and insert his sim, because his was dead and he needed to desperately reach somebody. Mysteriously, when I refused because it sounded dodgy, he asked nobody else and quietly sat opposite the rest of the journey
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At the pub and a man tried repeatedly to chat up the woman serving, eventually trying to pretend he knew her. She shut him down with: 'You're just another guy with a beard'
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@markgoldbridge
Ronaldo must start after United's best performance in ages after he didn't start. I am a smart person
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My original jab is suing my booster. I hate it when mummy and daddy fight
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BBC needs to stop trying to interview people as Sweet Caroline comes on
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Paying my respects at the spot they killed off Russell Crowe to stop him singing
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Turned on Sky News and first thing I hear is someone, utterly sincerely, say 'I'm so proud she died in Scotland'
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Went to a spa this evening. Not at my best looking right now but at least I wasn't the white guy with dreadlocks who had 'Hakuna Matata' tattooed across his back
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I see Scotland are having a Bank Holiday tomorrow in England's honour. Lovely gesture
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*phone buzzes*
Oh thank goodness, it's just a horrible news update. For a moment there I thought someone had messaged me
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I see variations on this tweet go viral every few weeks as if that isn't the entire point of the show they're referencing
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My dad has wished me happy birthday by suggesting I could go to a lido and clarifying that a lido is a an outdoor pool in case I was unaware
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