Childish Gabibbo
@ichlugebullets
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Following
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'The Cat In The Hat In Iraq', a parody of Dr. Seuss written by Steve Punt.
Joined March 2009
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Pinned Tweet
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Sorry, I need to immortalise Wayne Lineker's tribute to the Queen because I will never not want to see it.
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Luke Littler's nickname is "The Nuke" because he's simultaneously a Fat Man and a Little Boy.
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Football is a gentleman's game played by hooligans. Rugby is a hooligans' game played by rapists who shit into pint glasses in student bars.
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AZQuotes has attributed every quote by someone called "Camron", including Mormon poet Camron Wright, to Cam'ron.
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Ernest Hemmingway was once bet he couldn't write a story in six words. His response is legendary: "Please buy my dead baby's shoes".
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Famously this is when he bought sixteen nectarines to eat. Google "noel fielding peaches 16" to find out more.
Noel Fielding seen shopping at his local Tesco store in London, England (2017)
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Shout out
@BenedictEvans
for deleting this when he realised "suggested website" is based on search history
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Can't believe this classic has already been forgotten.
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Very much enjoying the Chrome extension that adds Mr Beast to every YouTube thumbnail.
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Fabrizio Romano every time he gets another fruit basket from Mason Greenwood's agents.
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Barenaked Ladies first draft.
It's
6yrs since we started seeing mass proliferation of scam ads
5yrs since I sued Facebook.
4yrs since they settled (for £3m to charity).
4yrs since the online harms white paper (still not law)
18mth since they agreed to inc scams in it.
1 day since first deep fake scam ad
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Bieber's already deleted that Thatcher tweet, but I managed to screengrab it:
http://t.co/mxctx54CdT
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Feel like this tweet only works for people who don't know what Victoria station concourse looks like
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"Alfie May" is the most "child murder victim" name I've ever heard. Surprised I don't get adverts for vigil candles when I google him.
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Thank you for your words on terrorist attacks, man pretending to be a cat.
Please stay safe during ongoing events in Westminster and follow instructions from
@metpoliceuk
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Drowning Pool. Death metal. Fuck me.
Welcome to the UK where the public health policy during a deadly pandemic is indistinguishable from a hit song by death metal band Drowning Pool
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Your girlfriend says "love her, absolutely love her" any time a woman over the age of 60 with dyed hair appears on television.
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Arcade Fire's PR team working overtime following the sexual assault allegations and getting all the big guns out to improve their image:
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Sir Clement Freud being Madeline McCann's murderer is the season finale for England as a nation tbh.
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You trying to slide into a girl's DMs
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Saka may become the first man ever patronised to death.
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Me trying to remember how the lyrics of "Sk8r Boi" go:
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When you nut but she keep sucking and you've eliminated a convicted sex offender from the World Championship
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@Abookishdiaries
"Terminal Man" definitely Michael Crichton's most notable book, can't think of anything else he's written that's more famous.
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@_MikeEdwards
"But these weren't the only duo in Manchester United shirts making headlines this year. At Old Trafford, Ryan Giggs and Ruu
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How middle class do you need to be to not know Poundland sells exactly the same brands as every major supermarket?
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Safe to say all those limeys who talked trash about Big Jesse Marsch from the mean streets of Babookaville, Winsonsin will be eating some humble pie from an IHOP bodega tonite.
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Mad how Americans find time in their day between clapping, tipping, getting shot and defecating in public to tweet gems like this.
oh no the old sports cartel is mad at the up and coming sports cartel
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Fair play, I was sceptical about the live-action Scooby Doo reboot but they've nailed the casting.
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Anyway, here's the character list for "Frank Bruno's Boxing" on the Commodore 64.
http://t.co/19XlyhEsx2
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Andres Iniesta and Diego Simeone share a joke before a Barcelona/Atletico Madrid La Liga clash, September 2015.
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CARLITO'S WAY (1993) DoP: Stephen H Burum | Dir: Brian De Palma |
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If Miles Jacobson👌
and my girl😍👰
both drowning😱🌊
and I could only save one😤😬
Catch me at my girls funeral😔👻🌹
Scoring from every cross💯🔥
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Your girlfriend at a Hadouken gig (2008).
Kate Middleton is seen at The Renaissance Rooms, SW8 in London, England (2008)
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It's the Superbowl tonight, so the dude in IT will be a bit tired tomorrow morning when it comes to fixing your Norton definitions update.
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Daily reminder that Brewdog is Innocent Smoothies for men who collect vinyl toys.
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Yorkshire dartboards, which would have been used locally at the time, don't have treble beds. Shame this man's father would lie so openly to his son like this, hopefully social services get involved asap.
My dad told me he went to watch The Exorcist at the cinema in Hull 1973. Apparently in the scene where she spins her head someone shouted "ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY!!".
My mind can't comprehend how funny that must have been.
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Massive into Kopology's "what is a Tweeter from 2012 was frozen in time before being unleashed into the present day" vibe, like the Austin Powers opening credits with 20 "Inspirational Snape" accounts as backing dancers.
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If your parents made guests take their shoes off before they entered the living room, then you're a Tory, end of.
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Why does Carl Anka write exactly like the Viz pisstake of Tony Parsons?
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The Wealdstone Raider is clearly going to turn out to be either a convicted sex offender or a massive, massive racist.
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Two legends of the 2000s who everyone thought were dead and buried but are now back to boss the scene.
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You: Infinity War is the greatest crossover event in the history of entertainment.
Me:
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Ferguson dying to steal the spotlight from Wenger one final time is pure Hollywood.
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Why is your dad's hard drive like one of the three major Portuguese footballing powers? Because they're both "Sporting CP"
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Thatcher dead, Fergie retiring: I guess the fans were right, it truly is Liverpool's year.
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@_MikeEdwards
You tweeted that before "I asked Noel Gallagher, a Manchester City supporter man and boy"
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Marilyn Manson and Joss Whedon in the space of five days? Bad week to be a very very boring teenage girl in 1999.
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I dunno BT Sport... I like a good portmanteau as much as the next guy, but I don't think this one will take off:
http://t.co/jyUmtW1WFY
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Does anyone know who wrote that "Space Jam first draft by Michael Jordan" script? Because it's far too fucking good for the writer to remain anonymous.
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Also a rapist's
@MattAntWest
thanks, Matt. We still stand by this. This picture can be found on the wall in Fruit Towers.
http://t.co/4ObiVImWjv
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In a World Cup that has provided at least 1,000 hilarious moments, Gaston Ramirez trying to hide Chiellini's shoulder is probably
#1
.
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Me on my way to steal your man and get shot by Mark Chapman
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How are you going to celebrate the 20th anniversary of Channel 5's "Race Swap" next year?
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Me dropping my woke feminist ally "fuck Hugh Hefner" take then realising it might be
#sexworkerphobic
.
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This looks like the promo photo for one of those wannabe "watercooler TV" American shows Channel 4 used to publicize to death in the mid-00s that nobody watched and got shifted to the 11:30pm slow about four episodes in. "Dirty Sex Money" or "Brothers and Sisters" or whatever.
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http://t.co/aIdIGdal94
a) notice the link she uses for the Limmy/Paphides thing b) click it.
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#respect
to the dancing fat lad, people should only be shamed for their appearances if they send female Buzzfeed writers Tinder messages.
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Weird to think a guy is getting elected president because three years ago some dude couldn't sexually satisfy his videogame designer gf.
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Well that's tweet of the year wrapped up then, we can all go home.
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RT if you want this legend to come back and sort out infighting on the British political right
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The right person won
#GBBOFinal
but all three finalists were great. Really enjoyed this years's Bake Off
http://t.co/UALEU4WQeD
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Garry Shandling's finest hour, of course, was him sandbagging the fuck out of Gervais:
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Just about to sit back and ease into the final hours of the first day back with a nice Earl Grey
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#LoveSUs
Anyone who is or was ever involved with student politics is clearly a terrible human being.
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When you get called a drydick rando by Twitter misandrists but it doesn't matter because you're lethal on double 16s:
http://t.co/xZW1B9FM77
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Let's have a quick look at what word Eamonn Holmes tried to play in the first round of Celebrity Countdown in 1998.
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Big fan of this alternate history postulating that, if 80% of the world's population had been wiped out by nuclear holocaust in 1983, Robbie Keane would have been top scorer at the 2014 World Cup:
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"Last video Last pic together Last show Last hug together "
#AlwaysaInOurHeartsZaynMalik
#ByeZayn
http://t.co/gOmvD7uzDk
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