Ian Berriman
@ianberriman
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Grade-D work unit for @SFXmagazine , since 2002. @TOTPFacts tweeter. Freelancer for @ElectronicMagUK and @RetroPopMag . #HCAFC . Polonofil. I am NOT a Merry Man.
The Valley Of Despair
Joined April 2009
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The difference between what street gets what Galloway letter - the one entirely about Gaza, or the one going on about grooming gangs, opening a Primark, and "knowing what a woman is" is quite hilarious. What a shameless cunt he is.
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@jjvincent
Sorry, but I'm obliged by Twitter Law to post "And that was Grandma Exploit in session, with 'Chatbot Jailbreak'."
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@fesshole
My advice would be to count your blessings if such petty concerns are the worst thing you have to worry about.
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Incredibly the headline is under-selling this, as she actually hand-delivered it to him.
Carrie Fisher once sent a cow tongue to a sexually inappropriate Hollywood producer
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The most 1970s bit of editing I’ve seen in Crown Court yet.
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If Nick Cave had just said “Look, there’s a chance I might meet Floella Benjamin,” no one could have had a problem with that.
#Coronation
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@thecatreviewer
Local ginge blissed out by warmth absorbed by wheelie bin. 10/10 for making use of conductivity.
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@EddieRobson
I've not seen my mum since Christmas 2019. She lives 180 miles away, she's 86, and there's a pandemic on that hospitalises people her age. It's penciled in for July (not June, at her choosing - she's still nervous). Anyone who has a problem with that can get fucked.
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Here's a sentence to make you lose bladder control with excitement:
@SimplyMediaTV
are releasing a box set of The Adventure Game this summer
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@mrbigcog
@jimwaterson
I think I see what the mixup is here - you’re mistaking “Aren’t a 100% effective magic solution” for “Don’t work”.
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@thecatreviewer
Neighbourhood thug. Viciously attacks legs. Now spreading his reign of terror via biker gang. 2/10
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20 minute countdown to watching new Doctor Who in a room full of over-excited Americans.
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@fesshole
"As I squelched home later with my sock soaked in lager, I allowed myself a little chuckle of triumph."
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@thecatreviewer
After YEARS of shy hiding, cat with tiny miaow won over by slow blinks, asks for belly tickles. 10 for playing hard to get.
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Never mind the Queen, have they vaccinated Tom Baker yet?
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At the record fair and Steve Davis has a stall. Yes, the Steve Davis.
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@StopArabHate
Hi. When posting photos like this would you consider cropping out the wife/child? The child has nothing to do with it, and it’s possible the partner does not either. I think the man who sent the tweet should be the only person identified. Thanks for reading.
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Not really an indie band standing around in oilseed rape, but Erasure were on Mute so I’m allowing it.
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@fesshole
Wild idea but maybe providing affordable secondhand goods is also a useful function.
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@thecatreviewer
railway station cat will roll in the dirt for tummy tickles. 0/10 for personal hygiene, 11/10 for flirtatiousness.
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@ianbrown
Well, gotta say I was unconvinced of the Covid-sceptic case before, but the sophistication of this argument has won me over.
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Silver lining re Terrance Dicks passing: he had no illusions about the immense fondness with which he was viewed. He got told all the time that his Doctor Who novelisations got kids into reading - I did it once! He knew. That's nice to know.
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"Marco, what's your response to the pundits saying Hull City will definitely get relegated?"
#HCAFC
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Okay, this is mad:
@martin_j_wilson
has pointed out that in addition to the original photo, there are also The-Charlatans-standing-about-in-oilseed-rape photo sessions from 1995 and 2009! What's the obsession with trampling crops,
@Tim_Burgess
?
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@TNeenan
Sorry Tom, I’m the eccentric Earl of the manor who just pranged his vintage automobile into a large tree and knocked it over, blocking the one road out of the valley. Don’t think you’ll be making that important work meeting.
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@TheReal_CTB1
It’s so sweet that you named your account “The Real…”, as if you might be someone worth impersonating. Bless.
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Mark Zuckerberg's legal team getting him ready to testify before the Senate committees.
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Very said to hear that the criminally under-rated Doctor Who writer David Fisher has died. "The Androids Of Tara" and "The Creature From The Pit" are stone-cold classics (you heard me) and "The Stones Of Blood" is great too.
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What Russell T Davies said about comparing HBO and the BBC still covers it, I think.
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@thecatreviewer
Strokes accepted but expect playful nips and swipes. Would stroke again, but wearing gloves - 7/10.
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@thecatreviewer
Stocky street corner-loitering tabby, up for rolls and strokes. Belly access not a scratch trap. Slightly distracted by eating grass/listening to birds, but still a solid 8/10 overall.
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@fesshole
HANG ON, is this about…
To the neighbour who has taken to smoking strong weed in his garage during the evening. I am not sorry in the slightest at grassing you up to the rozzers. It stinks out the entire street.
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@thecatreviewer
Bristol toll-cat requires scritches to be paid before allowing onward passage. 10/10 for pavement coverage.
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Imagine the fun everyone will have throwing masks at Ian Brown at every gig from now on, like people hurling knickers at Tom Jones.
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The craze has spread down under too. Courtney Barnett probably doesn't even know why she's standing about in oilseed rape, but just feels mysteriously compelled to. (thanks
@mjgelder
)
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@WhiskeyRiff
The Johnny Cash who wrote the album Bitter Tears: Ballads of the American Indian?
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@Baddiel
My dad, an outwardly unsentimental man, had a large binder in the wardrobe containing every birthday card we’d ever given him.
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@thecatreviewer
Beautiful colour, receptive to chin tickles. No purr & distracted by passers by. 8/10 for engagement
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@thecatreviewer
Bristol train station cat, greeting commuters with head bumps, legwashing display. -1 for no miaow: 9
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Picturing George Galloway lying awake at night thinking about how he can convince Primark to open a store in Rochdale.
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Sadly, in reality, I'm actually as cool as this woman on
#TOTP
blinding herself with a flag.
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Still appalled by where “Kinda” placed in the 1982 DWM season survey.
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First password to try if you want to hack a Doctor Who fan.
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This chap dresses more like Doctor Who than Doctor Who does.
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@AlStewartOBE
Take your own advice Alastair.
Only speak your mind if it is in possession of something worth hearing.
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Partial sighting of Radiohead standing about in a field of oilseed rape. Bonus points for roping in Adam Buxton - and maybe Thom Yorke has hay fever or something - but try harder lads. (thanks
@hinge_xanderl
)
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"I will not be attending the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner this year. Please wish everyone well and have a great evening!"
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Twenty years ago today, I started work on SFX. 7305 days and 273 issues later I am, somehow, still here. Not entirely sure if congratulations or commiserations are in order, but I'll take either.
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Delighted to see that
@FabulousFilmsTV
are bringing out a restored complete Blu-ray box set of Monkey (5 October).
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@thecatreviewer
Elegant, slow-motion gent, soft as a charcoal smudge. Beatific eye-closing in response to chin scritches. 11/10.
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MASSIVE PLOT TWIST: did Donny Osmond kickstart the whole standing about in oilseed rape trend?!? (Ta
@SarahMakepeace
)
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@thecatreviewer
Goth loaf guarding its own shadow from street light. Uninterested in fuss. 10/10 for darkness.
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Wow. Chuck D's DVD recommendation tweets are starting to blow my mind.
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@thecatreviewer
Defender of the six-foot wall, in their usual evening position, scanning the horizon for any threats. 0/10 for pets, 10/10 for commitment to sentry duties.
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I've just been made aware of the pioneering work by
@Gargarin
into this field of (oilseed rape) research, back in 2017. Hat doffed.
We've unearthed lots more though, so my thread is still the best and I'm still the cleverest.
Travelling home on the train the fields were awash with yellow oil seed rape, looks like we're in for a good crop of indie bands this year
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Only working for
@SFXmagazine
could I have written this: the definitive deep-dive six-page feature on Mr Benn! Issue is in shops on Wednesday 24th, or you can pre-order a copy online now and, as if by magic, it'll appear through your letterbox: ?
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Hats off to Larkins - it's good to see that the modern generation of indie bands are maintaining the noble tradition of standing about in oilseed rape. (thanks
@hinge_xanderl
)
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@TNeenan
I might as well just tell you now, just to save time, that in about two weeks' time you will pick a framed photograph off the mantelpiece in the manor house and realise that you are the spitting image of my dead son.
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Furious to discover the PC Brigade are now time-travelling back to the '70s and '80s and censoring Easter Eggs.
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