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Ian Berriman Profile
Ian Berriman

@ianberriman

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2,881
Following
669
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9,286
Statuses
69,123

Grade-D work unit for @SFXmagazine , since 2002. @TOTPFacts tweeter. Freelancer for @ElectronicMagUK and @RetroPopMag . #HCAFC . Polonofil. I am NOT a Merry Man.

The Valley Of Despair
Joined April 2009
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
Indie bands standing about in oilseed rape #1 : The Jesus And Mary Chain.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 months
oh my god guys HAIR BE GINGER HAIR B GINGER HAR B GINGER HAR B INGER HARBINGER #DoctorWho
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
Jason Manford nailing it.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
6 months
The difference between what street gets what Galloway letter - the one entirely about Gaza, or the one going on about grooming gangs, opening a Primark, and "knowing what a woman is" is quite hilarious. What a shameless cunt he is.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
1 year
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
1 year
@jjvincent Sorry, but I'm obliged by Twitter Law to post "And that was Grandma Exploit in session, with 'Chatbot Jailbreak'."
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
4 months
@fesshole My advice would be to count your blessings if such petty concerns are the worst thing you have to worry about.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
4 years
@RedLabour_ Calm down dear.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
7 years
Incredibly the headline is under-selling this, as she actually hand-delivered it to him.
@mashable
Mashable
7 years
Carrie Fisher once sent a cow tongue to a sexually inappropriate Hollywood producer
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
1 year
The most 1970s bit of editing I’ve seen in Crown Court yet.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
1 year
If Nick Cave had just said “Look, there’s a chance I might meet Floella Benjamin,” no one could have had a problem with that. #Coronation
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
7 years
Excellent Star Trek-based headline work here.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
6 years
@thecatreviewer Local ginge blissed out by warmth absorbed by wheelie bin. 10/10 for making use of conductivity.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
2 years
How it started / How it's going
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
@EddieRobson I've not seen my mum since Christmas 2019. She lives 180 miles away, she's 86, and there's a pandemic on that hospitalises people her age. It's penciled in for July (not June, at her choosing - she's still nervous). Anyone who has a problem with that can get fucked.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
7 months
@mogul518315 Yes, you’ve summed up Alex Jones very well there.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
8 years
Here's a sentence to make you lose bladder control with excitement: @SimplyMediaTV are releasing a box set of The Adventure Game this summer
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
@mrbigcog @jimwaterson I think I see what the mixup is here - you’re mistaking “Aren’t a 100% effective magic solution” for “Don’t work”.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
7 years
@thecatreviewer Neighbourhood thug. Viciously attacks legs. Now spreading his reign of terror via biker gang. 2/10
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
8 years
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
6 years
20 minute countdown to watching new Doctor Who in a room full of over-excited Americans.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
Does anyone want to buy a cat?
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
2 years
@fesshole "As I squelched home later with my sock soaked in lager, I allowed myself a little chuckle of triumph."
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
The Nyder Cut.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
7 years
@thecatreviewer After YEARS of shy hiding, cat with tiny miaow won over by slow blinks, asks for belly tickles. 10 for playing hard to get.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
Indie bands standing about in oilseed rape #2 : The Charlatans.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
1 month
@benoriz I’m from Hull and live in Bristol and that is a video of Hull, you plank.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
4 years
Never mind the Queen, have they vaccinated Tom Baker yet?
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
10 years
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
1 year
At the record fair and Steve Davis has a stall. Yes, the Steve Davis.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
4 years
Bravo. (Stands, starts applauding furiously) BRAVO
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
1 month
@StopArabHate Hi. When posting photos like this would you consider cropping out the wife/child? The child has nothing to do with it, and it’s possible the partner does not either. I think the man who sent the tweet should be the only person identified. Thanks for reading.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
4 years
@thecatreviewer 0/10 for accessibility, 20/10 for majestic positioning.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
Indie bands standing about in oilseed rape #4 : Slowdive.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
Not really an indie band standing around in oilseed rape, but Erasure were on Mute so I’m allowing it.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
Indie bands standing about in oilseed rape #3 : Cud.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
2 months
@fesshole Wild idea but maybe providing affordable secondhand goods is also a useful function.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
Indie bands standing about in oilseed rape: The Wedding Present. (Thanks @serial_miller )
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
5 years
@thecatreviewer railway station cat will roll in the dirt for tummy tickles. 0/10 for personal hygiene, 11/10 for flirtatiousness.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
2 years
@Steve_OTLS @AndyinBrum Just slab-heading it 40 yards out of the box all day long.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
4 years
@ianbrown Well, gotta say I was unconvinced of the Covid-sceptic case before, but the sophistication of this argument has won me over.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
6 months
I mean, "Make Rochdale great again", FFS.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
5 years
Silver lining re Terrance Dicks passing: he had no illusions about the immense fondness with which he was viewed. He got told all the time that his Doctor Who novelisations got kids into reading - I did it once! He knew. That's nice to know.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
8 years
"Marco, what's your response to the pundits saying Hull City will definitely get relegated?" #HCAFC
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
2 years
@ActuallyKillian I believe there is an equation for this:
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
1 year
@nexta_tv I look forward to them banning the eating of Swiss chocolates next.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
Julian Cope standing about in oilseed rape. (thanks @ErnstScribbler )
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
Okay, this is mad: @martin_j_wilson has pointed out that in addition to the original photo, there are also The-Charlatans-standing-about-in-oilseed-rape photo sessions from 1995 and 2009! What's the obsession with trampling crops, @Tim_Burgess ?
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
4 years
@TNeenan Sorry Tom, I’m the eccentric Earl of the manor who just pranged his vintage automobile into a large tree and knocked it over, blocking the one road out of the valley. Don’t think you’ll be making that important work meeting.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
2 years
@TheReal_CTB1 It’s so sweet that you named your account “The Real…”, as if you might be someone worth impersonating. Bless.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
2 years
Meet Agatha, everyone. #newkitten
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
6 years
Mark Zuckerberg's legal team getting him ready to testify before the Senate committees.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
7 years
Very said to hear that the criminally under-rated Doctor Who writer David Fisher has died. "The Androids Of Tara" and "The Creature From The Pit" are stone-cold classics (you heard me) and "The Stones Of Blood" is great too.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
8 years
What Russell T Davies said about comparing HBO and the BBC still covers it, I think.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
7 years
@thecatreviewer Strokes accepted but expect playful nips and swipes. Would stroke again, but wearing gloves - 7/10.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
@thecatreviewer Stocky street corner-loitering tabby, up for rolls and strokes. Belly access not a scratch trap. Slightly distracted by eating grass/listening to birds, but still a solid 8/10 overall.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
4 years
@fesshole Please concentrate on getting a trade deal, Boris.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
4 years
@allisonpearson Breaking news: dreadful person associates with other dreadful people.
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Ian Berriman
3 years
@fesshole HANG ON, is this about…
@fesshole
Fesshole
3 years
To the neighbour who has taken to smoking strong weed in his garage during the evening. I am not sorry in the slightest at grassing you up to the rozzers. It stinks out the entire street.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
5 years
@thecatreviewer Bristol toll-cat requires scritches to be paid before allowing onward passage. 10/10 for pavement coverage.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
Imagine the fun everyone will have throwing masks at Ian Brown at every gig from now on, like people hurling knickers at Tom Jones.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
The craze has spread down under too. Courtney Barnett probably doesn't even know why she's standing about in oilseed rape, but just feels mysteriously compelled to. (thanks @mjgelder )
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
27 days
@WhiskeyRiff The Johnny Cash who wrote the album Bitter Tears: Ballads of the American Indian?
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
2 years
@Baddiel My dad, an outwardly unsentimental man, had a large binder in the wardrobe containing every birthday card we’d ever given him.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
7 years
@thecatreviewer Beautiful colour, receptive to chin tickles. No purr & distracted by passers by. 8/10 for engagement
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
7 years
@thecatreviewer Bristol train station cat, greeting commuters with head bumps, legwashing display. -1 for no miaow: 9
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
6 months
Picturing George Galloway lying awake at night thinking about how he can convince Primark to open a store in Rochdale.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
8 years
Sadly, in reality, I'm actually as cool as this woman on #TOTP blinding herself with a flag.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
1 year
Still appalled by where “Kinda” placed in the 1982 DWM season survey.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
@clickholebot They have absolutely no interest in fine wines either.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
8 years
First password to try if you want to hack a Doctor Who fan.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
11 years
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
2 years
@fesshole It's not exactly Geoff Capes tearing phone books in half, but congratulations.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 months
This chap dresses more like Doctor Who than Doctor Who does.
@jovanforclacton
Jovan Owusu-Nepaul
3 months
Keep it moving 🇬🇧🌹 #VoteLabour #jovanforclacton
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
2 years
@AlStewartOBE Take your own advice Alastair.
@AlStewartOBE
Alastair Stewart
4 years
Only speak your mind if it is in possession of something worth hearing.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
5 years
@CharlieNash Sounds hellish.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
Partial sighting of Radiohead standing about in a field of oilseed rape. Bonus points for roping in Adam Buxton - and maybe Thom Yorke has hay fever or something - but try harder lads. (thanks @hinge_xanderl )
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
4 years
@passantino I guess we should be grateful he didn’t turn up with a mini-submarine.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
8 years
"I will not be attending the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner this year. Please wish everyone well and have a great evening!"
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
2 years
Twenty years ago today, I started work on SFX. 7305 days and 273 issues later I am, somehow, still here. Not entirely sure if congratulations or commiserations are in order, but I'll take either.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
1 month
@GenXintheGame “Real working people” don’t set fire to libraries and hotels, fucko.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
4 years
Delighted to see that @FabulousFilmsTV are bringing out a restored complete Blu-ray box set of Monkey (5 October).
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
5 years
@thecatreviewer Elegant, slow-motion gent, soft as a charcoal smudge. Beatific eye-closing in response to chin scritches. 11/10.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
6 years
@ultrabrilliant I just watched until I was sure the lawnmower was in there.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
1 month
@angus_young61 Hope he gets a long stretch.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
MASSIVE PLOT TWIST: did Donny Osmond kickstart the whole standing about in oilseed rape trend?!? (Ta @SarahMakepeace )
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
2 years
@thecatreviewer Goth loaf guarding its own shadow from street light. Uninterested in fuss. 10/10 for darkness.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
7 years
Wow. Chuck D's DVD recommendation tweets are starting to blow my mind.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
@thecatreviewer Defender of the six-foot wall, in their usual evening position, scanning the horizon for any threats. 0/10 for pets, 10/10 for commitment to sentry duties.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
I've just been made aware of the pioneering work by @Gargarin into this field of (oilseed rape) research, back in 2017. Hat doffed. We've unearthed lots more though, so my thread is still the best and I'm still the cleverest.
@Gargarin
BLTP 🇺🇦
7 years
Travelling home on the train the fields were awash with yellow oil seed rape, looks like we're in for a good crop of indie bands this year
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
4 years
Only working for @SFXmagazine could I have written this: the definitive deep-dive six-page feature on Mr Benn! Issue is in shops on Wednesday 24th, or you can pre-order a copy online now and, as if by magic, it'll appear through your letterbox: ?
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
Hats off to Larkins - it's good to see that the modern generation of indie bands are maintaining the noble tradition of standing about in oilseed rape. (thanks @hinge_xanderl )
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
4 years
@TNeenan I might as well just tell you now, just to save time, that in about two weeks' time you will pick a framed photograph off the mantelpiece in the manor house and realise that you are the spitting image of my dead son.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
@thereal_truther She is wiv da angles up in the drone farts now.
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
3 years
Fields Of The Nephilim standing about in field of the oilseed rape. (Thanks @inner_strings )
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@ianberriman
Ian Berriman
8 years
Furious to discover the PC Brigade are now time-travelling back to the '70s and '80s and censoring Easter Eggs.
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