Gabe Sanchez
@iamgabesanchez
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Host of @WhatWasThatShow • Designer • Comedian • Taco Connoisseur • Webby Award Winner
The Internet
Joined July 2010
JD Vance posted this. He chose to be Trump’s wife lol.
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Trump fell asleep at the RNC. On the first night. He just got there.
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So you agree, 78-year-old Donald Trump should also resign.
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Nancy Mace thought she was using her burner account lol. This seems to be a recurring problem with the Republican Party.
Many people are saying Nancy Mace is a clout-chasing crisis actor. What do you think?
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Elon Musk's net worth has fallen over $49B since he first offered to buy Twitter for $44B. That is all.
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Trump: “I will roll back every gun safety provision passed by President Biden if I win”. The Republican Party has made America unsafe. They’re not pro-life, they’re pro-murder.
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Pretty sure that meeting took place at the Capitol on January 6th
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Kyle Rittenhouse: “I’m going to Texas A&M!”. Texas A&M: “Lol nope.”. Kyle Rittenhouse: “Just kidding, I meant I’m going to Blinn College!”. Blinn College: “Says who?”.
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Tell me you live in America without telling me you live in America
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Elon Musk is shitting out lies to 200 million accounts and now government officials have to correct him.
@elonmusk No one is shutting down the airspace and FAA doesn’t block legitimate rescue and recovery flights. If you’re encountering a problem give me a call.
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Elon Musk's net worth has fallen over $66B since he first offered to buy Twitter for $44B. His days as Tesla CEO are numbered.
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Elon Musk to everyone: "screw world hunger, I'm buying Twitter".
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Elon Musk only has ~$2.8B in cash and cash equivalents. Elon has to personally cover $21B of the $44B Twitter deal (not secured). Elon will owe Twitter a $1B break-up fee if he can't secure the financing. Elon is stuck lol.
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When I hear Trump and RFK Jr whine that their voice is being censored.
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TL;DR - Trump wants to sidestep the Senate and install whomever he wants without any confirmation. In case you haven't been listening, this is what a dictator does.
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By popular demand, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz running from their own protest rally. but set to the Benny Hill theme song. Enjoy.
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It’s not a raid. It’s not a storage issue. It’s not executive privilege. It’s TREASON.
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BREAKING: Presidents do not control gasoline prices.
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Donald Trump is now complaining that Google hasn’t approved Truth Social's Android app. He even went as far as to ask, “Is Google trying to fuck me?”. One major glitch tho, Truth Social hasn't even applied for approval.
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It’s been 13 years since Betty White and Ryan Reynolds filmed this bit and I laugh every time. Thank you for everything, Betty.
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No, please. Tell me how Hunter Biden’s laptop is the problem and not Jared Kushner getting $2 billion. I’ll wait.
Six months after leaving the White House, Jared Kushner secured a $2 billion investment from a fund led by the Saudi crown prince, a close ally during the Trump administration, despite objections from the fund’s advisers about the merits of the deal.
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BREAKING: Tim Scott and his fiancée Mindy Noce have called off the wedding.
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Donald Trump: “I hope you can help help and help out”. The broke, disgraced, twice impeached, one term, insurrectionist, traitor is struggling to beg for money.
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Republicans: "You can't peacefully protest on the public sidewalk outside Brett Kavanaugh's home! That's barbaric!". Also Republicans: "Let's storm the Capitol, smear our shit on the walls, and build gallows for Pence!".
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Proud Boys are so “proud” of who they are that they hide their faces in public.
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You really think Donald Trump can last 60 minutes with the press discussing foreign policy?. The guy can’t even last 30 seconds with @StormyDaniels.
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GoDaddy has informed the Texas pro-life whistleblower site that they have “24 hours to move to another provider for violating our terms of service”. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. Way to go, everyone!.
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@elonmusk Elon’s Free Speech on Twitter:.- you can’t make fun of Elon.- you can’t post videos of Elon getting booed.- you can’t share Elon’s jet using public flight data.- you can threaten someone’s life and well-being based on their religion, race, or beliefs . What a clown 🤡.
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BREAKING: Jared Kushner will appear before the January 6 Committee this week
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It’s CNN’s lack of fact checking for me. Kaitlin Collins could have done a quick Google search before tweeting this.
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Meet my abuelita, Mama Eva. She is 98 years young. Thanks to the vaccine, we were able to see each other in Mexico.
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It was at this moment, Marjorie Taylor Greene knew…she f*cked up
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Donald Trump: "I'm not Christian". Yes, he said that.
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Do you think Ted Cruz is more upset that Stacey Abrams made a cameo on Star Trek or…?
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Donald Trump: “Can we please split the bill for my special master?”. DOJ: “Lol nope. You cried about wanting a special master, so you can pay for it.”.
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I‘d like to thank Donald Trump for giving us the funniest and most embarrassing 16 seconds in news history
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I’ll never forget the time when Serena Williams was walking through Dolores Park and challenged two random guys to a tennis match. And she played them in furry boots!. Congratulations to @serenawilliams on an illustrious career! 🐐🏆🎾
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I can’t stop watching Lauren Boebert embarrass herself lol.
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Laura Ingraham: “Wait wait wait, when did I mention measles?”.Raymond Arroyo: “It was on ‘You’.”.Laura Ingraham: “What was on me?”. Arroyo and Ingraham just did a modern day “Who’s on First?”.
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Within hours of Donald Trump taking the oath of office, billionaire Elon Musk gave the Nazi salute during his speech at an inauguration rally. It was not an accident or a mistake, he did it twice. Way to go America 🤦🏻♂️
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BREAKING: Proud Boys will soon rename themselves to Plea Boys.
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It's the slight glance over at the jury for me.
Watching murderer, Kyle Rittenhouse, cry like the little baby bitch he is might be the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. Not so tough when you don't have a gun in your hands, eh? Little coward.
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Donald Trump had more than 300 classified documents at Mar-a-Lago. I repeat, more than 300 classified documents!. He wasn’t scrapbooking or keeping mementos. He was acting against America’s interests.
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Donald Trump: "I plead the fifth". Marjorie Taylor Greene: "I do not recall". Fani Willis: "Let's do this, Ms. Merchant".
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Turns out, Matt Gaetz is a great fundraiser for abortion rights.
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Alright, who’s going to explain amendments to Rep. Lauren Boebert?
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@DineshDSouza Dinesh, you're a felon who pleaded guilty to illegal campaign contributions. Bill Barr debunked your voter fraud mockumentary and laughed at it (all while under oath). And when you're not trying to sell your fantasy novels, you're hawking MyPillow merch. Sit down, bud.
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Aide: “The House Freedom Caucus is demanding that you be removed as Speaker of the House.”. Speaker Pelosi: “Who?”.
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The Proud Boys accidentally smoke bombed themselves in an abandoned KMart parking lot. Hahahahahahahahahaha.
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Do you know what is on Hunter Biden’s laptop?. Emails from Tucker Carlson asking Hunter to help his son get into Georgetown.
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Trump: “I think I’m gonna take some of them back to my cottage…and have a lot of fun. Like the Cheerios, I haven’t seen Cheerios in a long time, I’m gonna take them back with me”. This old man is falling apart before our eyes.
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Lindsey Graham: “It is time to mobilize our retired and former service members who are willing to help secure our schools.”. I’ll take “Terrible Ideas” for $1,000, Alex.
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Rand Paul: “Hey poor people. You’d be middle class in other countries. Be grateful!”.
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All it took was 7 seconds to google who ordered the withdrawal of troops. Spoiler alert: it was Trump on November 17, 2020 🤡
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Tell me you don't care about the Rittenhouse trial without telling me
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Tell me privilege doesn’t exist and I’ll show you an email from John Eastman saying “I've decided that I should be on the pardon list”.
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Hannity and Ingraham are scared and I can’t stop laughing.
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Spoiler alert: peacekeepers don’t attack innocent civilians.
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Wait, Ivanka Trump has a shoe line?And now she’s getting sued because she stole designs?. This grifter has no sole.
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This 4th of July, make sure to “Reclaim America” by picking up a U-Haul* for all your white supremacist needs. *Proud sponsors of Patriot Front.
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I’m just going to say it. Feinstein needs to do what’s best for the Democratic Party and retire now. This will allow Newsom to replace her before the recall.
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These new Venmo ads featuring Matt Gaetz are kinda sus.
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Joe Manchin hired me to redesign his campaign logo. What do you think?
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BREAKING: General Flynn has started a GoFundMe after Chase Bank canceled his credit card accounts.
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Governor Greg Abbott makes a great case for why we need to fund public education.
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How long till Sean Hannity realizes what he did by listing out Trump’s investigations?.
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As a member of the Hispanic/Latino community, we do not claim Ted Cruz. We pass him to the whites.
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Look, I'm not a doctor but I think it's safe to assume that the origin of the next Delta variant outbreak will be the #TrumpRally in Ohio.
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Donald Trump Jr FaceTimed this weekend while he was high��
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For a group that tells others to “move on” and have “quit” Twitter for Parler, Gab, Gettr, and Truth Social…they sure seem obsessed with staying on Twitter.
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Supposedly, Trump’s 45,000 digital trading cards priced at $99, sold out in 12 hours. Bullshit!. *cough* money laundering *cough*.
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Jim Jordan wanted to serve on the January 6th Committee but instead, they served him a subpoena.
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Just remember, your day could be worse. You could be Alex Jones right now.
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So when are the Trump supporters moving to Russia? Asking for a friend.
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I wouldn’t be surprised if Trump staged this for news coverage. Trump didn’t care that his followers passed out from heat stroke in Phoenix. According to Stephanie Grisham, Trump mocks his supporters behind closed doors.
Trump pauses his speech to check on a supporter who passed out.
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According to Maggie Haberman, Trump has a rotating cast of aides that follow him around the golf course and read him compliments from Twitter and wherever else they find it online. What she failed to mention is that she’s one of them.
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Andy Cohen: "Does daddy get his juice?". Anderson Cooper: "Can daddy get his juice responsibly?". #HappyNewYear
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And for context, Blinn College is a community college with a 100% acceptance rate….
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Says the woman whose pedocon husband pleaded guilty to exposing himself to two young women at a bowling alley. BoBo (17 at the time) was also there.
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First Betty White, then Sidney Poitier, and now Bob Saget. Season 3 of 2020 sucks.
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Cheryl Hines is drawing up the divorce papers as we speak lol
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Republicans: “Nancy Pelosi stopped the national guard from deploying!”. Your Honor, I’d like to enter into evidence, Nancy Pelosi on January 6th.
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