I knew religion was somehow when I broke into the chapel prefect’s wardrobe (allegedly) to steal cornflakes in boarding school and he prayed to the Holy Ghost to reveal the thief to him…It wasn’t me
Naija IG skit scenario:
*someone steals meat*
Guy in skit: bros this one you’re stealing meat don’t you know you can download 1xBet and get a referral and make two billion Naira instantly:
Meat thief: oh wow 🤪
————-
Gbogbo yin ti ya werey tbh
I understand this feeling bro, my barber started yahoo and got bad at barbing cause he had money.I had to call efcc on him so they would reset him back to his true destiny
UBA has had my 4,000 Naira on lock for about a month now, maybe it’s until I stroll into the nearest branch here and take one of the receptionist hostage that’s when they’ll have sense.
i will always respect hushpuppi for how much money he made off yahoo, I tried picking…entered debt in my first two days and now I’m banished from Abeokuta.
you guys!!! davido’s bank account got hacked by Russian and Egyptian hackers. He said you can send the money to 3104757258 first bank. I’m with him rn sef in ilorin. E CHOKE!!!
idek about this NFT thing well but I’m happy y’all are losing, I prayed on your downfall. Infact I’m doing it rn at Living faith church, new bodija, Ibadan
Idk why my sister thought I was sensible enough to babysit my nephew. I’m about to read revelations to this mf, he needs to know what happens to the enemies of the lord.
are you ready for your alpha male lessons?”
Chris hemsworth gulped.
The Rock nodded.
Kanayo o Kanayo shuddered.
Burna boy blinked nervously.
“yes, Shola” they said in unison
I am something. For years now, I have forced my songs down people’s throat whether e sweet abi e no sweet either by too much ads or by paying every influencer to make noise about a song they don’t even like. Or by speeding my song on TIKTOK. WHAT AM I ?
Snapchat really crazy for opening the selfie camera first when you open the app, you get to see how empty of a broken shell you’ve turned into and how no matter what you do you might never be truly happy again
im sorry you guys had to find out like this but I'm a 40 year old man expecting my 3rd son. My wife claims this app is ruining my productivity cause I've not been able to work for 6 years and feed the kids, so I'm closing this account. Goodbye
Women akways think we want sex. It's not always about sex.
It's intimacy we want.
To be touched. Looked at. Admired. Smiled at. Laugh with someone.
Feel safe. Feel like someone's really got you.
That's what we crave. That’s what we want.